FabSwingers.com forum: Equal ...

By *abbitsXXX OP Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Equal play .... what are everyone's thoughts on both parties playing equally in a relationship ?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

If that's what works for you then great. I think. In reality it's hard to achieve as the woman will get more interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I follow the what is good for the goose rule, though it is down to individual preference. I once briefly had a mistress who is poly but her husband isn't. He let her do what she wanted, but didn't participate himself, even though he could have done.

As for in actual practice; it isn't strictly going to happen. My girlfriend signed up here last night and she had dozens of messages from guys within an hour or so (she uses tinder and okcupid to meet people), whereas after coming back to my profile for the first time in years, I have had a terrible dry conversation with one woman that on profile interested me massively (she even said that I was pretty much perfect, but wouldn't respond in more than one sentence messages that were terrible for responses) and a conversation about the local fetish scene as a whole with someone that we jokingly talk about how we are chasing each other around on various sites.

In short, equal play is a great idea, but will probably be ridiculously hard to achieve, but it is ok if one doesn't want that and is perfectly happy for the other to be open

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By *abbitsXXX OP Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Thanks for the replies guys x yes obviously the fem normally gets more interest but I have always felt that I need to keep on fair between the m and the fem in the relationship x

The whole swinging thing can be difficult enough with out your other half potentially feeling like you are having all the fun x

Don't get me wrong I know in sub and dom relationships this is a different game all together, but I am just talking about a normal open swinging couple x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Thanks for the replies guys x yes obviously the fem normally gets more interest but I have always felt that I need to keep on fair between the m and the fem in the relationship x

The whole swinging thing can be difficult enough with out your other half potentially feeling like you are having all the fun x

Don't get me wrong I know in sub and dom relationships this is a different game all together, but I am just talking about a normal open swinging couple x "

But even normal open swinging couples like different things. I know lots of couples where the man isn't interested in playing but is happy for his partner too. I also know lots of couples where that doesn't work. Its all about what works for you.

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By *layful Couple For YouCouple
over a year ago

Lust

"Equal play .... what are everyone's thoughts on both parties playing equally in a relationship ? "

We only ever play together, so that comes as a kind of given x

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By *abbitsXXX OP Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

This is true, very true x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dislike the idea that it has to be equal and fair, it should be about whatever the parties are comfortable with and agree. For some they may want exactly the same thing with the same frequency, so fine set the same boundaries. But I don't think that's always the case.

I'd rather meet people who have set boundaries they're both comfortable with even if they are different, than where one partner is unhappy. We've seen the consequences of an unhappy partner pushed to a position they were reluctant about within a club and it wasn't pretty. You shouldn't push someone beyond their comfort zone in the name of being equal.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I (miss)am happy for Jack to meet without me ,as he likes 3 sums and more sums.

That doesnt really interest me currently,I enjoy us swapping and watching each other.

I dont meet without Jack,but i'm pretty sure he would be open to it,if I did.

So we are unequal in that respect i guess.

Miss

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

If you're talking an equal number of messages when playing separately then, whilst possible, that may be difficult to manage here because of the gender imbalance.

If you're talking equal boundaries then that is of course up to you and can be set however you like - the key being that BOTH of you are happy with whatever boundaries you set and that if one of you wants to push those boundaries at all that it's discussed and agreed BEFORE they are pushed and again that you are BOTH happy with the changed boundaries.

If one of you is constantly pushing boundaries and the other isn't comfortable with them then it can only lead to unhappiness, resentment and worse.

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By *abbitsXXX OP Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

I am talking in terms off actually meeting .... as we all know fems could meet someone different 7 days a week but there aren't quite the same oppurtunities for the male... so I/we have always met equally amounts if meeting seperately just to keep thing even- equal - fair - we are both sex mad and love being with each other and others x hence being on here but we are also aware nit to take the p and risk upsetting the other .... is that the general concencous

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