FabSwingers.com forum: Superiority!!

By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Reading through some of the forums recently it as struck me how superior some of the posters seem to think they are

and how intolerant they are of people who are not like them, not as conident in their skin, not as content in their life, not as self assured as them

rather than leaving constructive comments they prefer to run the OP or anyone wishing to discuss the topic of the thread down

oh to have their perfect lives!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oiiiii! you up there.....want a bacon butty and a cuppa?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

ta laine - 2 sugars please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awfully sorry dont you know... But this thread is beneath me...

Toodloo Pip pip...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

No one on here makes me feel inferior, never have, never will... nor do I see people intentionally going out to do so.

I see confident people who will speak their mind, mostly without being offensive in an adult world. It is a world that really requires confidence, a self assured approach and the ability to stand firm at times, otherwise you will be eaten , chewed up and spat out by the more predatory types. ( couples, guys and females ). I have always said sometimes the directness does go a tad far but that sadly is, life.

Some of the woe is me types posts are nothing more than attention seeking and will attract a response, not always the type the OP wanted. Things can be said without breaking the rules, I will most certainly call people if I believe they are factually incorrect on something. Of course they are allowed to post them, they do stimulate many a rich discussion but I also reserve the right to respond in a way that is true to me... honest, integrity, non offensive and all within the rules.

If I break em, kick my ass because I will have deserved it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading through some of the forums recently it as struck me how superior some of the posters seem to think they are

and how intolerant they are of people who are not like them, not as conident in their skin, not as content in their life, not as self assured as them

rather than leaving constructive comments they prefer to run the OP or anyone wishing to discuss the topic of the thread down

oh to have their perfect lives!!!!!"

i see sometimes that newbies are having problems to break the ice so to speak and then they get all arsey as noone speaks to them

i think everyone is equal to each other and i treat everyone with respect apart from when im almost down (evesgham) lol xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or you could be like me and jump in with both feet!

You guys are great!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading through some of the forums recently it as struck me how superior some of the posters seem to think they are

and how intolerant they are of people who are not like them, not as conident in their skin, not as content in their life, not as self assured as them

rather than leaving constructive comments they prefer to run the OP or anyone wishing to discuss the topic of the thread down

oh to have their perfect lives!!!!!"

Has the sermon finished yet? lol

Only kidding. Great post and a shame people run others down.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Sorry _iew but recently there has been blatant name calling by some of there superior posters. Calling people needy and sad. I know it has been said to death about leaving a thread alone if people don't like the topic but....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if people cant say anything nice well dont say nothing at all

( and yes im listening to my own advice as sometimes i do it)

sorry miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awfully sorry dont you know... But this thread is beneath me...

Toodloo Pip pip...

Haha,,,, well as everyone who’s already posted in this thread is now obviously sitting comfortably above me….Grrrrrrr

.....so does that mean anyone who posts after this, will therefore be totally beneath me…. OMG…..

Come on EuRoGeEzOiD…!!!!.. get ya arse back in ere’……NOW!!!!!! mwuahahaha

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Doesn't really register on our radar. We'll talk to anyone lol.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Sorry _iew but recently there has been blatant name calling by some of there superior posters. Calling people needy and sad. I know it has been said to death about leaving a thread alone if people don't like the topic but...."

of course Eve, it is not what is said but the way it is said that upsets...

if someone is coming across needy, do you not think that should be pointed out to them. If not there will be more than likely be another thread about not getting meets, replies, mucked about.. often it is more about them than the others on the site. This all causes the OP grief, better to tell them the problem MAY be them than allow them to continue their life on here in a similar vein getting the same results. The regular forum users are often dammed if they do and dammed if they don't..

But we agree, it can be said without offensive x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Yes we agree on that part _iew

I know repeat threads can be annoying but they are also one of the best ways for newbies to break into the forums. I will always try to be helpful and positive to people on threads. As thats what I am like in life!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Yes we agree on that part _iew

a good quality Eve xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

couldnt agree more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not needy - I'm fine - I'm not crying - I have something in my eye and I'm sniffing because of hayfever that's all!!! Oh and because nobody loves me - there is that!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

see.. now that to a lot of people is going to look like a pop at certain people, so you could be accused of the same thing... i do have a problem with this particular post and i'll tell you why..

on any forum, on any subject you are always going to get a verying degree of opinions... does that mean that every opinion on a thread has to be "sugarcoated"?

I would like to think that I am fairly straight talking and I will tell it like it is! "there,there,there" isn't really me... so should someone modify that language because someone else would be offended?

as long as something is not offensive, I may not agree with an opinion, but I will there defend someones right to that opinion...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

By defending the people you think might be getting a bad response you are now doing the same thing as you are complaining about by calling other posters because they come across as superior.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guilty of constructive ambiguity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i got jumped on by a couple of em yesterday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guilty of constructive ambiguity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guilty of constructive ambiguity.

Whereas I'm in two minds about it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading through some of the forums recently it as struck me how superior some of the posters seem to think they are

and how intolerant they are of people who are not like them, not as conident in their skin, not as content in their life, not as self assured as them

rather than leaving constructive comments they prefer to run the OP or anyone wishing to discuss the topic of the thread down

oh to have their perfect lives!!!!!"

I think you are so right on this. I often see comments and wonder why they bothered at all. Its like they are frowning at everyone when its always easier and more fun to smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely for anyone to allow himself or herself to indulge in feeling of superiority in Forums, they must also accept a concept whereby feeling of inferiority must also exist in the minds of others forum users..

And like that’s really gonna happen in here….!!!!

People adopting a supporting role to any fukwit who somehow thinks they are better than the rest of us……… Nah…. I can see it myself..... nope...nada.... niet.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to say......'sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me'.....that was always a classic in primary school!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have to say......'sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me'.....that was always a classic in primary school!

Yeah at my school they used to beat up kids who said that….

Unfortunately my skin mark so easily too…. I’d sometimes go home black and blue from head to toe…

Ahhh sigh,,,,,, Such was the life of a poor Sub Biatch back then…..

Now though, I'm git tough!!!....

I've even got diamond encusted knuckle-dusters and pink fluffy restraints for dealing with those nasty bully boys ... init! !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have to say......'sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me'.....that was always a classic in primary school!

Yeah at my school they used to beat up kids who said that….

Unfortunately my skin mark so easily too…. I’d sometimes go home black and blue from head to toe…

Ahhh sigh,,,,,, Such was the life of a poor Sub Biatch back then…..

Now though, I'm git tough!!!....

I've even got diamond encusted knuckle-dusters and pink fluffy restraints for dealing with those nasty bully boys ... init! !!!!

Funnily enough it would be interesting to see how some of the so called 'tough guys' from school have turned out. I know a guy who is on here(not made myself known) that is known as a 'tough guy' very macho, very 'straight' yet on his profile he is looking for guys and tv's....something tells me, he is not being true to himself lol and that maybe he should drop the hard man act and just give in to the pink side

or more to the point, brown

....To end on a cliché, there's nowt stranger than folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a little passionate at times on these forums and I've never been one afraid to voice my opinion or sugarcoat it.

If I received a pm or a response in the forum which says 'you've offended me Feebs' then I would apologise and I wouldn't feel good about the way they were feeling. To me comments in a forum, especially those in disagreement, should be honest but not leave someone feeling angry or irritated. If they do you've failed at communication.

Assertive behaviour is putting a point across so the other person knows you disagree but doesn't feel undermined by that opinion - therefore creating a win win situation.

I experienced a comment on this forum yesterday by a member which was uncalled for. It was after another forum member complimented me and a sarcastic response ensued from another poster, albeit sugarcoated with a smiley face. Now maybe I misunderstood and it wasn't meant to be sarcastic. If that was the case then the poster communicated badly because I was left feeling disappointed.

Some people will say that posts like these are also negative because they are aimed specifically at others. And it is indeed the case. No doubt the OP knows exactly who has posted comments which she feels were inappropriate. I would be all too happy to name forum members and be specific about what I don't like and I'm happy for others to do likewise, but naming is against the rules, so that is why I don't, it is certainly not because I am afraid to voice them publicly.

My bug bear on here is the sarcastic response to either a newbie or a less passionate or controversial poster. When challenged the response is always 'you're paranoid, it was only a joke'. If that is the case why aren't these sarcastic jibes made to every member on here, instead of being thrown out to members whom they feel won't challenge as strongly. And to put others down to play to a wider audience pisses me off too.

So if anyone feels I am myself guilty of superiority then please pm me as I really would like to see constructive debate on here rather than playground antics and I've no doubt I could do things better. I would hate to be thought of as a sarcastic bully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do dislike post nitpickers, those who intentionally read something that isnt there. misinterpreting the way somethings posted or the wording.

We cant always get it right, i have on occasions used the wrong term or phrase, most will let it slide but there are always the others who jump down ya throat when really, they know there was no nasty intent in the posting....

Does that make sense ?

i think it does after reading it back . lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do dislike post nitpickers, those who intentionally read something that isnt there. misinterpreting the way somethings posted or the wording.

Does that make sense ?

i think it does after reading it back . lmao

i know what you mean, i often have to read things over a few times to make sure i don't end up getting interrogated by others. I do not have a massive vocab and often feel stupid by people who are better with their phrasing and wording. Im by no means a smart girl and find it difficult at times to convey the correct message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well those that now know me, also know im very rarely nasty in any of my postings.

I do on occasions have to log off or refrain from posting , when im also biting me tongue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also have misunderstood posts and seen things that might not be there, it will happen as text is difficult to interpret at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do dislike post nitpickers, those who intentionally read something that isnt there. misinterpreting the way somethings posted or the wording.

Does that make sense ?

i think it does after reading it back . lmao

Don't put yourself down Kim, I can honestly say that I always find your posts clear and concise. You ARE a smart girl and your vocabulary is more than adequate to communicate on here or anywhere else for that matter. xx

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Sometimes it is easy to misread rhings ina forum post as we don't get the intonation, facial expression etc and even adding a smilie or kiss does not always convey the positive intent of a message. It is something we need to bear in mind perhaps a bit more ? Xxxxxxxxx and

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I agree with Jacks post in relation to Cute - she's a young girl with an old head on her shoulders. Certainly a well mannered, mature young lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I also have misunderstood posts and seen things that might not be there, it will happen as text is difficult to interpret at times. "

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I also have misunderstood posts and seen things that might not be there, it will happen as text is difficult to interpret at times.

guilty of that too. i replied to a comment in a thread that using 'lol' or an emoticon might have helped to portray they were joking about something.. then a thread followed taking the piss and saying you had to include 'lol' and an emoticon with everything. I felt really stupid and hurt."
please don't feel like that - you post great threads and have the guts to have opionions. You have never been rude or offensive so to me that makes a good forumite. Please continue the way you are xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm certainly a lot of that goes on. Having a difference of opinion on one thread then starting a brand new thread twisting and trying to take the piss out of what someone has said in a unrelated thread. That really is immature isn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and now i have pointed it out, im sure i will get labelled as 'needy' or 'playing the victim'

haha

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

OK as normal these threads start out and turn into people having snide comments about other people and why they always end up shut.

There is a radical solution to this...mail the people who you think are having a pop at you and sort it between yourselves, or ignore each other.

Thread closed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One on one social networking on the internet with strangers is a very solitary pastime. You do it alone (yeah I know there are couples on this particular site, together sitting at the screen). Nobody tells you what to write it all comes from reaction to other words you assume are being written by others sitting at home alone too.

The only person anyone is ever satisfying in these debates is themselves. You cannot know for sure that anyone is reading your words. Posting thoughts on a forum is no different to opening up in a diary,meditating, reading a newspaper or watching the news and saying outloud (to nobody but yourself) "thats bollox" or thats "simply brilliant".

We do not know who is reacting or why they are reacting or how they are reacting because 'they' are not in front of us to recognise body language and to use our social skills to read their tone of delivery other than with smiley faces which can be used to confuse too.

The difference between saying out loud thats bollox to a tv screen is that you know the speaker cannot hear you. It's the job of the reporter to bring out the what the inter_iewee is putting across to the wider audience. Forums have no wider audience other than those joining in at random times. Who knows what others see in the written words on a forum? They might be joining in at a time when the 'mood' is different. The online 'body language' of a person posting at 10am after the school run might be totally different to the tone and body language of a person coming onto the forum several hours later after spending their day in a different way. Its this diversity of threads that can make people feel 'picked on' and perhaps think I was loved and everyone had a great time earlier - now I look at my posts and they're being slated. Some take forums personally others its water off a ducks back but neither way is right or wrong.

On this site we see avatars and names and so the words are personified by whichever way you have decided to react against that personification - its human nature to do so.

If this wasnt a site where the common aim is to attract people to 'like you' then nobody would put any emotion into the forums then they wouldn't come over as a person you would like to know more about - and as can be seen there is plenty of humanness on every thread. Also there are plenty of repellant behaviours on the forums too to make you think 'Im giving them a wide berth'.

So while trying to do your own thing whichever thing it is you want to come across as doing, it would pay to remember you are in this alone and it all ceases to exist the second you sign offline and go back to reality and taste and touch and sound and feel.

In all honestly as long as we are happy with our ten penneth we can debate and interact with other words but it is a false environment and to try and analyse why anyone does what they do is to firstly stop and think why do I do what I do? Some people behind a computer screen use it as an excuse to be bold and rude to individuals and I think thts what the OP was trying to say and I have to agree it most certainly goes on and is inexcusable but at least its out there for you to decide what you are going to do about it, if anything.

Look up from your screen every now and again. You are just home alone, sighing out loud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody is superior, but some are more confident than others.

We should not forget that Fab is a 'virtual' world and we are often conversing avatar to avatar with people we'll never meet. A degree of integrity and honesty is important in order to keep some kind of realism and grounding in this 'fantasy world'.

I would NEVER condone name calling or bullying and I think we all have a responsibility not to intentionally offend, but I believe people should always try, and be able to give their honest opinion. Sometimes those opinions will conflict and unfortunately leave some feeling slightly wounded.

The other option is a world where everyone agrees, sugarcoats and has no debate - would we really log into that type of world?

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