FabSwingers.com forum: 35 Things PORN has taught us all

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan OH YEAH! when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they high five each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to suck it.

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

31. Every guy has a penis as big as peter north.

32. All women are completely bald.

33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then fucked in a moving van.

34. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.

35. Any other girl is a MILF.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He he

There must be more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thoughts:

"A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket."

I have some faith here!

To be honest, I prefer Amature porn to professional porn by a considerable distance. It feels sexier, grittier, more real, despite the genre's problem such as shaky cam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely when it's comes to photography, Amature porn is way better. I think most people get tired of pro porn eventually, want some more naturalistic.

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

see now thats why i watch porn lol x

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By *ong_legs2Couple
over a year ago

essex

36 - women will always use sex as a form of currency when ordering a pizza

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made m smile at this late hour x

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

i so want to be a patient right now lol x

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Just thinking back to my betamax collection years ago when it definitely was dodgy men with moustaches...

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bril needed that today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol lol lol @28 & 30!!!!

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

...Lovin 21 and 23

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with number 30

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

37... Major european languages...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys always wear and keep there White sports socks on ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

38. Lesbians always wear white gym socks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In every german porn someone says "das good yar"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"131. Every guy has a penis as big as peter north.

He is the one that started me off looking at guys in a sexual way

It wasn't about the cock though, more about the cum shots.

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By *illyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

39 lady's always masturbate with the curtains open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The washing machine repair man. Always gives a full load lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pizza delivery boys are hung like ponies and you get a free pizza for a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hammock she was languishing naked in for a half an hour leaves no criss cross marks on her body when she stands up to greet the erect gardener....

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

"Agree with number 30

31.5 The really cocky ones grin like mad and have both hands in thumbs up to thier mates

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

The extra pepperoni is always in the pizza delivery boys pants!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is it bad that I read some of those and thought I totally agree with them.. lol

number 2,5, 6 (in the right place), 7,8,10,13, 16, 18 ( most definately) 20, 22, 27 and 33..

Cali

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

37- everyone has bleached arseholes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"37- everyone has bleached arseholes

Depends on what type of porn you look at, i used to like the more unusual stuff.

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By *icboyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"37- everyone has bleached arseholes

Depends on what type of porn you look at, i used to like the more unusual stuff."

Used to, why stop...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv got a german porn film and their is a woman with hairs up her bum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

kept getting virus on my laptop.

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By *icboyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"kept getting virus on my laptop."

Or maybe its just a hairy laptop.

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