FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Genuine question.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've been with my partner for nearly 25 years. We have always argued over the difference in sex drive over all that time. However I do love her to bits but I just wish sex would be more frequent. It's been good over the years even though I do crave more than her. I find myself turning to sites like this just to get a kick and possibly more. But I would love to remain just us two or even get into the swinging scene with her. I expect a lot of negative replies but something that could give me ideas on how to spruce things up and get her interested would be great. I feel like a total shit going behind her back. But we all have needs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe talk to her about what her own kinks/fantasies are. Then slip on the fact that you've considered swinging.

You never know, she might be willing to join in!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ulldog_71Man
over a year ago

Sedgefield

This may be a silly question but have you talked to her about it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

25 years together we've talked about everything

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ulldog_71Man
over a year ago

Sedgefield


"25 years together we've talked about everything "

You'd be surprised how many people have been together that long and never really talked properly about sex

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We do have an array of toys etc but our sex drives are totally different. I'd rather her be with me on here or at least be a bit more forthcoming. Maybe it's just not meant to be?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aelawMan
over a year ago

Paisley

Alas, I don't think you have really had the proper conversation yet. You say you talk about everything what did she say when you brought of the difference in sex drive and you potentially looking to cheat on her here? The hard conversations are usually the most important.

I am always open and honest about sex and kinks and feel really comfortable talking about it. Not everyone is though. Having such a high sex drive I feel your pain and i am afraid sex and my kinks play too large a part of me to not have the freedom to explore them.

Just have the conversation.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I understand what you are saying. Yes we have that conversation about different sex drives over the years. I'm happy if she says she doesn't want to get into swinging that's her choice. I just thought I'd ask

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op if she has a different sex drive to you how will being on here help? In May introduce a whole new set of problems. It’s like you want permission to have sex with other people as often as you want.

I think like the others said you need to talk and be honest in how often you want sex and what you truly want. However I think you already know how it’s going to unfold

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's told you she's not that interested in sex but you keep harassing her for more sex. 25 years of begging her for sex when she doesn't want it is pretty disrespectful. And now you want to ask her to fuck other people?!

Have a wank or an affair and leave the poor woman alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure there’s anything much you can do here, if it’s the way things have always been rather than a sudden change, then I would guess that’s just what her sex drive us and I can’t imagine anything would necessarily spice things up at all based on what you’ve said. If it’s caused arguments over the years then she’s probably going to automatically be on the defensive whenever you mention anything about it. I would guess that you need to either accept things the way they are, as so many people have to within marriage, or continue to risk doing something like being here, which could potentially damage all the other parts of the marriage which you seem to value. And that’s not a negative statement for the sake of it, just a fact. A word of warning - when trust is damaged it’s virtually impossible to get it back.

I wish you well resolving your predicament

L x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m not sure there’s anything much you can do here, if it’s the way things have always been rather than a sudden change, then I would guess that’s just what her sex drive us and I can’t imagine anything would necessarily spice things up at all based on what you’ve said. If it’s caused arguments over the years then she’s probably going to automatically be on the defensive whenever you mention anything about it. I would guess that you need to either accept things the way they are, as so many people have to within marriage, or continue to risk doing something like being here, which could potentially damage all the other parts of the marriage which you seem to value. And that’s not a negative statement for the sake of it, just a fact. A word of warning - when trust is damaged it’s virtually impossible to get it back.

I wish you well resolving your predicament

L x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for your comments. Especially from the ladies who have talked sense. I value your understanding and bid you all well in your lives. Take care xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been with my partner for nearly 25 years. We have always argued over the difference in sex drive over all that time. However I do love her to bits but I just wish sex would be more frequent. It's been good over the years even though I do crave more than her. I find myself turning to sites like this just to get a kick and possibly more. But I would love to remain just us two or even get into the swinging scene with her. I expect a lot of negative replies but something that could give me ideas on how to spruce things up and get her interested would be great. I feel like a total shit going behind her back. But we all have needs."

At the end of this thread, I am hoping to see OP (user deleted account)

For a relationship to work there needs to be full understanding on both sides, give and take, okay, she has a lower sex drive, accept that, love her, spend more time with her, do romantic things,

she is the one you wake up with each morning and go to sleep with last thing and night, you are soul mates, she would be heart broken if she knew you were on a swinging forum, you are simply considering your sex drive and not hers

make her proud of you, make her love grow for you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been with my partner for nearly 25 years. We have always argued over the difference in sex drive over all that time. However I do love her to bits but I just wish sex would be more frequent. It's been good over the years even though I do crave more than her. I find myself turning to sites like this just to get a kick and possibly more. But I would love to remain just us two or even get into the swinging scene with her. I expect a lot of negative replies but something that could give me ideas on how to spruce things up and get her interested would be great. I feel like a total shit going behind her back. But we all have needs.

At the end of this thread, I am hoping to see OP (user deleted account)

For a relationship to work there needs to be full understanding on both sides, give and take, okay, she has a lower sex drive, accept that, love her, spend more time with her, do romantic things,

she is the one you wake up with each morning and go to sleep with last thing and night, you are soul mates, she would be heart broken if she knew you were on a swinging forum, you are simply considering your sex drive and not hers

make her proud of you, make her love grow for you"

Why should he change to suit her though? Why shouldn’t she accept her husband, the man she’s supposed to love, has a higher sex drive and make more of an effort to have sex more frequently?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexless marriage but they love each other. Secret affair. Perfect situation.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sexless marriage but they love each other. Secret affair. Perfect situation."

Are you offering to be the other woman?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been with my partner for nearly 25 years. We have always argued over the difference in sex drive over all that time. However I do love her to bits but I just wish sex would be more frequent. It's been good over the years even though I do crave more than her. I find myself turning to sites like this just to get a kick and possibly more. But I would love to remain just us two or even get into the swinging scene with her. I expect a lot of negative replies but something that could give me ideas on how to spruce things up and get her interested would be great. I feel like a total shit going behind her back. But we all have needs."

You have entirely the right instincts. Don’t go behind her back but try to involve her in spicing things up a bit. Start small and work up to it. How about, for example, suggesting a trip to the local with no underwear. Or a visit to a nude beach.

We started swinging after 25 years of marriage and its done us and our relationahip a power of good.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sexless marriage but they love each other. Secret affair. Perfect situation.

Are you offering to be the other woman?"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a fwb. We been friends for 20+ years. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. It was only @ 3 months ago that we actually started talking truthfully about our fantasies. I never imagined he would have turned out to be the kinky freak he is! Then he told me about fab. And showed me his profile! What do you know, here I am. And we just started a couples profile too!!

I know it is not the same as a 25 year marriage but sometimes you dont know people as well as you think.

If sex, and your lovely wife, are that important to you then try and bring them together in your world.

Ps I fancy him so much more now I know how naughty he is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a fwb. We been friends for 20+ years. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. It was only @ 3 months ago that we actually started talking truthfully about our fantasies. I never imagined he would have turned out to be the kinky freak he is! Then he told me about fab. And showed me his profile! What do you know, here I am. And we just started a couples profile too!!

I know it is not the same as a 25 year marriage but sometimes you dont know people as well as you think.

If sex, and your lovely wife, are that important to you then try and bring them together in your world.

Ps I fancy him so much more now I know how naughty he is"
Thank lovely. The ladies have been great which is your opinions I wanted. I am coming off here and hopefully may come back as a couple xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I've been with my partner for nearly 25 years. We have always argued over the difference in sex drive over all that time. However I do love her to bits but I just wish sex would be more frequent. It's been good over the years even though I do crave more than her. I find myself turning to sites like this just to get a kick and possibly more. But I would love to remain just us two or even get into the swinging scene with her. I expect a lot of negative replies but something that could give me ideas on how to spruce things up and get her interested would be great. I feel like a total shit going behind her back. But we all have needs."

Help out around the house doing the normal jobs that she probably does like ironing cooking cleaning etc.

Men tend to get home after work and stop, women get home from work and tend to start looking after the household.

If you can't sort things out do the decent thing and let her find a man who won't cheat on her,

Life's short and she deserves to find a man who will make her happy and won't cheat on her

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

May I just say we share a lot of the work load around the house. Cooking and cleaning is always done by who ever. I'm not after advice on life as I have said that part is pretty much spot on. As a couple we look pretty much perfect to the outside world. I just thought I would ask as I don't want to throw everything else away.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"May I just say we share a lot of the work load around the house. Cooking and cleaning is always done by who ever. I'm not after advice on life as I have said that part is pretty much spot on. As a couple we look pretty much perfect to the outside world. I just thought I would ask as I don't want to throw everything else away. "

Come off fab and talk to her, pretty sad that you can't talk after 25 years together and need advise from strangers.

Try counseling there might be an underlying reason

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for your thoughts and advice folks. May well see you again but hopefully as a couple. Take care have fun and be safe.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top