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Corniest Jokes

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

As I'm in a bad mood today let's all cheer up. Post the corniest or worst joke you know . Just for fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For Flat-Earthers, the only thing to fear is sphere itself

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"For Flat-Earthers, the only thing to fear is sphere itself"

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By *eadySteadyCockCouple
over a year ago

Tredegar


"As I'm in a bad mood today let's all cheer up. Post the corniest or worst joke you know . Just for fun "
watch this and I promise you will laugh lots! It’s safe for work too! https://youtu.be/4ZMtWIkJLyQ

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"As I'm in a bad mood today let's all cheer up. Post the corniest or worst joke you know . Just for fun watch this and I promise you will laugh lots! It’s safe for work too! https://youtu.be/4ZMtWIkJLyQ"
Can't get the link on my crappy phone but will take a peek on my lappy later . cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's so many wangs and wongs in a chinese phone book, i accidentally wang the wong number

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

I thought it was wings and wongs.......

boy that one is old.......

What do you call postman pat when he's made redundant ?

Pat

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By *aturisteve69Man
over a year ago

Frodsham

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy...oh I don’t know and I don’t care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call fake spaghetti

An im-pasta

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"What do you call fake spaghetti

An im-pasta"

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I used to date a one legged girl who worked in a brewery . She was in charge of the hops !!

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

[Removed by poster at 19/10/17 12:42:27]

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

What runs down your nose at over 100 miles an hour?. A lambagreeni

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

caistor

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, I couldn't find any.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"What runs down your nose at over 100 miles an hour?. A lambagreeni "
Deffo the shittiest joke so far . You are winning Sir

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow...

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By *eetabix123Man
over a year ago

mold

How do you make a duck into a singer? put it in the microwave until its Bill withers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did Farmer Giles win a Nobel prize?

Because he was out standing in his field....

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"How do you make a duck into a singer? put it in the microwave until its Bill withers"
Not bad at all

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By *aura66Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

What's big & white & can't climb trees?

A fridge....

No???

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Why did Farmer Giles win a Nobel prize?

Because he was out standing in his field...."

Aah the old ones are the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador. "

Equal first place . That's awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea "

And with no legs ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea And with no legs ......"

Still no idea

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea And with no legs ......

Still no idea"

Yep that's the one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cartoonist found dead at his home, details were sketchy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fsh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone seen stevie wonders new wife ? No neither has he

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg ? Tie wan shu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What long hard and has cum in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a Russian prostitute slobberedonmeknob yabitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cu cum ber

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By *ookingforlustMan
over a year ago

northants

What did the slug say to the snail.....?

Big Issue...?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Cu cum ber "
Dear oh dear we have a new leader . That's terrible lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cu cum ber Dear oh dear we have a new leader . That's terrible lmao "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?

Nothing. It just let's out a little wine

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?

Nothing. It just let's out a little wine

"

A contender . Terrible

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Who can beat the cucumber joke then ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

Wi Jam In.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

Wi Jam In. "

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

What goes 100mph when left out to dry?

Hondapants

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By *ookingforlustMan
over a year ago

northants

What not to say in a gay bar......

“Can I push your stool in.....?”

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

How do you get pikachu on a bus?

Pokemon!

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By *andm_69Couple
over a year ago

Stevenage

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

Limp Biscuit

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

How do you make lady gaga cry?

Pokerface.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"How do you make lady gaga cry?

Pokerface."

We have 3 leaders now

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

There are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one-two-three cat, and the French cat is called the un-deux-trois cat.

who won?

The English cat. Beause the un deux trois quatre cinq!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be quite indecisive, but I don't think I am now

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"There are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one-two-three cat, and the French cat is called the un-deux-trois cat.

who won?

The English cat. Beause the un deux trois quatre cinq!"

That's actually funny and terrible so you are our new leader

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why did Farmer Giles win a Nobel prize?

Because he was out standing in his field.... Aah the old ones are the best "

In fairness you asked for corny jokes, and it was a corn field....

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"There are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one-two-three cat, and the French cat is called the un-deux-trois cat.

who won?

The English cat. Beause the un deux trois quatre cinq! That's actually funny and terrible so you are our new leader "

Thank you

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

I went into the local bakery.

Pointing to a cake, asked 'how much is that'

Baker says 'all my cakes are a pound'

I'll take that large one please,

'That's £3' says the baker 'it's Madeira cake'

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Why did Farmer Giles win a Nobel prize?

Because he was out standing in his field.... Aah the old ones are the best

In fairness you asked for corny jokes, and it was a corn field...."

That is a good point

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"There are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one-two-three cat, and the French cat is called the un-deux-trois cat.

who won?

The English cat. Beause the un deux trois quatre cinq! That's actually funny and terrible so you are our new leader

Thank you "

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I went into the local bakery.

Pointing to a cake, asked 'how much is that'

Baker says 'all my cakes are a pound'

I'll take that large one please,

'That's £3' says the baker 'it's Madeira cake' "

Love it equal first . Fuckin awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea And with no legs ......

Still no idea Yep that's the one "

and with no genitals?

Still no fucking eye deer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the vet give the pony some cough medicine?

Because it was a little horse.

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By *he devil and his loverCouple
over a year ago

Boston

English man irish man and scots man trying to work out who invented the vagina , english man said it was an artist who else could get shear lines of perfection , scots man said nar it was an enginer ,, because what ever size tool you have it always fits perfect ,, the irsh man said you are both wrong ,,, it was the council !!! COUNCIL the other exclaim !! How do you work that out ????

Who else would put a lesure complex next to a shit hole !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whoever invented the 'knock knock' jokes should get a no-bell prize

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By *ogerNesszonesMan
over a year ago

Northern England

What did Cinderella say when she finally got to the ball?

Oooooocccccchhhhhhh!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"English man irish man and scots man trying to work out who invented the vagina , english man said it was an artist who else could get shear lines of perfection , scots man said nar it was an enginer ,, because what ever size tool you have it always fits perfect ,, the irsh man said you are both wrong ,,, it was the council !!! COUNCIL the other exclaim !! How do you work that out ????

Who else would put a lesure complex next to a shit hole !!! "

Excellent shitty hope . Google Billing Aquadrome and you will find the answer

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"English man irish man and scots man trying to work out who invented the vagina , english man said it was an artist who else could get shear lines of perfection , scots man said nar it was an enginer ,, because what ever size tool you have it always fits perfect ,, the irsh man said you are both wrong ,,, it was the council !!! COUNCIL the other exclaim !! How do you work that out ????

Who else would put a lesure complex next to a shit hole !!! Excellent shitty hope . Google Billing Aquadrome and you will find the answer "

* Joke not hope ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When does a beaver become a cub... when hes tryed his first brownie

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

I think women who think penis size matters are shallow......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"English man irish man and scots man trying to work out who invented the vagina , english man said it was an artist who else could get shear lines of perfection , scots man said nar it was an enginer ,, because what ever size tool you have it always fits perfect ,, the irsh man said you are both wrong ,,, it was the council !!! COUNCIL the other exclaim !! How do you work that out ????

Who else would put a lesure complex next to a shit hole !!! Excellent shitty hope . Google Billing Aquadrome and you will find the answer "

Aint that the truth!!! Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea "

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

Doyouthinkhesawus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a blind prostitute

You've got to hand it to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW -- a hedgehog has its pricks on the outside

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By *unseeker64Woman
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I really hate Russian Dolls

They're so full of themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's red and lies in the gutter? A dead bus!

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I took my kids to see some animals at the weekend, there was only 1 dog there...

It was a shih-tzu!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a jcb and a giraffe

1 has hydraulics and 1 has high bollocks

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

When is a door not a door...

When it's ajar.

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By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

The mrs has decided she's leaving me because I'm going bald.

It's hair loss!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's been a fire in a shoe factory.

Many soles were lost

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

caistor

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

caistor

What time did the man go to the dentist?

Tooth hurt-y.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

As a fly gets swatted what's the the last thing to go through it's mind?

It's arse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do do donkeys get for lunch in Blackpool

Half an hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe how many set ups or punchlines are wrong.

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By *ogerNesszonesMan
over a year ago

Northern England

It's funny that when you look at an ant under a magnifying glass on a sunny day, they always seem to burst into flames!

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By *lackitncoCouple
over a year ago

brownhills

Where does hitler keep his armies?

Up his sleevies

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"What runs down your nose at over 100 miles an hour?. A lambagreeni Deffo the shittiest joke so far . You are winning Sir "

Yes!!!! lol

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"The mrs has decided she's leaving me because I'm going bald.

It's hair loss!!!"

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Emooji and _eady and willing 9 are our joint winners . Awfully bad jokes . Congrats to you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy...oh I don’t know and I don’t care"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just been on a once in a lifetime holiday, I wont be doing that again.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk. Then I saw her through the window. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor. She rolled her deep blue eyes at me. I picked them up and rolled them back. We kissed. She screamed. I took the cigarette from my mouth and kissed her again. 

There was a tap on the door. I thought “funny place for a tap” so I turned it, and to my surprise, the door opened. There stood a redhead. Nothing more, just a red head. Then up the stairs strode a brunette, she took my hand. I asked for it back. She told me of a friend who was dying, so I decided to go and see him. We took the lift to the ground floor. It was rather heavy, but we got there eventually. I said to the porter, “Call me a taxi.” So he said “Sir, you’re a taxi.” The taxi pulled up with a jerk. The jerk got out and we got in. We arrived at the dying man’s house, where I discovered he had swallowed a chicken bone. I said “does it hurt?” and he said “only when I laugh.” So I told him a joke and he died laughing.

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By *ack2071Man
over a year ago

bromsgrove

Our local artist committed suicide last week , it was a loss to the art world, but on the Brightside his suicide note has been considered his best peace

Of work to date and is thought it will fetch thousands at auction

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By *ack2071Man
over a year ago

bromsgrove

Joined Scottish widows .. There a tight lol

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By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP   Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Thanks for more jokes but I've started a new one now for today so please everyonre post on new thread. Thanks

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"Thanks for more jokes but I've started a new one now for today so please everyonre post on new thread. Thanks "

Oh you're joking!

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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

A little late to the party but...

Mansplaining Latin grammar is called condeclension.

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