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By *inkSwing OP   Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Hello. Us again

Off the back of another thread today, we have been discussing the issue of exclusivity. Fairly early on we decided, independently, not to see anyone else for anything more than a social.

The idea of one person deciding that exclusive wasn’t for them is where we started pondering. Why would that happen and how do people usually deal with it? Is it down to a lack of communication or just people changing over time? Or simply that some people will always get bored and want that new person feeling? Or maybe something else?

Swing

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I think if the pair don’t have the same desires sexually in the first instance then at some point exclusivity will become challenging. Ppl can change over time so discussing openly things that you both want to try may be the answer to remaining exclusive. They may want to have others join them as a couple to fulfil their needs at this point. I guess it becomes tricky when one person is happy and the other eventually wants different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno. I'm just waiting for the other person to respond...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I clarify, are you talking exclusivity within an intimate play only set up (call it fuck buddy or friend with benefits etc) or within a full blown relationship (such as marriage or relationship in normative terms)?

I must admit slight confusion given your situations, as far as I understand them -- as you reference in your answer, Pink P, re the differences being purely sexual interest related whereas in a relationship that is not solely based around sex, surely there's a multitude of reasons someone may move away from wanting exclusivity in terms of filling a gap not satisfied in the relationship that may not even be about sex.

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By *inkSwing OP   Couple
over a year ago

Preston


"Can I clarify, are you talking exclusivity within an intimate play only set up (call it fuck buddy or friend with benefits etc) or within a full blown relationship (such as marriage or relationship in normative terms)?

I must admit slight confusion given your situations, as far as I understand them -- as you reference in your answer, Pink P, re the differences being purely sexual interest related whereas in a relationship that is not solely based around sex, surely there's a multitude of reasons someone may move away from wanting exclusivity in terms of filling a gap not satisfied in the relationship that may not even be about sex.

"

That’s a good question and apologies for the confusion. We were talking about a Fab set up - two singles deciding to only play exclusively

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I clarify, are you talking exclusivity within an intimate play only set up (call it fuck buddy or friend with benefits etc) or within a full blown relationship (such as marriage or relationship in normative terms)?

I must admit slight confusion given your situations, as far as I understand them -- as you reference in your answer, Pink P, re the differences being purely sexual interest related whereas in a relationship that is not solely based around sex, surely there's a multitude of reasons someone may move away from wanting exclusivity in terms of filling a gap not satisfied in the relationship that may not even be about sex.

That’s a good question and apologies for the confusion. We were talking about a Fab set up - two singles deciding to only play exclusively"

Then I'd suggest it could be due to reasons ranging from wanting the experience of the "new", to change in wants overtime eg. wanting different things sexually that the other doesn't, to failure to communicate, or being or feeling let down too often, differences in libido or not being to see each other as much one or both (if logistical) want/s, deliberate attempts to provoke a reaction in the other, through to fear of it going too well and wanting to share/spread the potential risk of heartache.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I clarify, are you talking exclusivity within an intimate play only set up (call it fuck buddy or friend with benefits etc) or within a full blown relationship (such as marriage or relationship in normative terms)?

I must admit slight confusion given your situations, as far as I understand them -- as you reference in your answer, Pink P, re the differences being purely sexual interest related whereas in a relationship that is not solely based around sex, surely there's a multitude of reasons someone may move away from wanting exclusivity in terms of filling a gap not satisfied in the relationship that may not even be about sex.

That’s a good question and apologies for the confusion. We were talking about a Fab set up - two singles deciding to only play exclusively

Then I'd suggest it could be due to reasons ranging from wanting the experience of the "new", to change in wants overtime eg. wanting different things sexually that the other doesn't, to failure to communicate, or being or feeling let down too often, differences in libido or not being to see each other as much one or both (if logistical) want/s, deliberate attempts to provoke a reaction in the other, through to fear of it going too well and wanting to share/spread the potential risk of heartache. "

*being able to see..

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester


"Can I clarify, are you talking exclusivity within an intimate play only set up (call it fuck buddy or friend with benefits etc) or within a full blown relationship (such as marriage or relationship in normative terms)?

I must admit slight confusion given your situations, as far as I understand them -- as you reference in your answer, Pink P, re the differences being purely sexual interest related whereas in a relationship that is not solely based around sex, surely there's a multitude of reasons someone may move away from wanting exclusivity in terms of filling a gap not satisfied in the relationship that may not even be about sex.

That’s a good question and apologies for the confusion. We were talking about a Fab set up - two singles deciding to only play exclusively"

Really.. because that's not how your original post reads

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I'm confused by the topic. OP and yourself have clearly gone exclusive.

Not sure why you need reasons some people don't want to be exclusive.

Or have I read it wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm confused by the topic. OP and yourself have clearly gone exclusive.

Not sure why you need reasons some people don't want to be exclusive.

Or have I read it wrong? "

I think it's a topic stemming from the "we have done this, that caused us to speculate as to how do we keep it working, to then considering how anyone in similar situations keep it working..."

Preventative issue planning.

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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

I'm wondering whether Fab is the correct place to ponder the benefits of monogamous relationships.

I may have missed the point though.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I'm confused by the topic. OP and yourself have clearly gone exclusive.

Not sure why you need reasons some people don't want to be exclusive.

Or have I read it wrong?

I think it's a topic stemming from the "we have done this, that caused us to speculate as to how do we keep it working, to then considering how anyone in similar situations keep it working..."

Preventative issue planning. "

Ah ok, well just go with the flow. Things change, people circumstances etc. so make the most of now and cross that bridge if you ever come to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello. Us again

Off the back of another thread today, we have been discussing the issue of exclusivity. Fairly early on we decided, independently, not to see anyone else for anything more than a social.

The idea of one person deciding that exclusive wasn’t for them is where we started pondering. Why would that happen and how do people usually deal with it? Is it down to a lack of communication or just people changing over time? Or simply that some people will always get bored and want that new person feeling? Or maybe something else?

Swing"

Are you asking why people cheat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was married and also inclusive to another person, it was called having an affair.

It was more than just sex, there were emotions involved.

Neither of us were interested in seeing anyone else.

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

It might be just where they are in that particular stage in their lives, maybe exclusivity doesn't fit them right now. Or maybe they're afraid or have decided commitment isn't for them. It doesn't mean they don't like or even care for the other person, it's just not right for them

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By *inkSwing OP   Couple
over a year ago

Preston


"I'm confused by the topic. OP and yourself have clearly gone exclusive.

Not sure why you need reasons some people don't want to be exclusive.

Or have I read it wrong?

I think it's a topic stemming from the "we have done this, that caused us to speculate as to how do we keep it working, to then considering how anyone in similar situations keep it working..."

Preventative issue planning. "

Both wrong sorry, it stems from a thread posted by a guy earlier today. He and a female had agreed exclusivity, but she was meeting others. He was naturally upset by this but did say I know it’s a swinging site. That started me thinking if you’ve agreed to be exclusive surely that doesn’t mean you can’t say, actually this isn’t what I want. Then move on or evolve, or is it different in this environment? Or had the female maybe been swept into something she didn’t really want? Swing and I talked about it then came the thread as an extension of the discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really understand the difference between being exclusive and having a relationship with someone. Surely if you both want to be exclusive then a swinging site is kinda redundant?

*shrugs*

Enjoy whatever it is rather than worry about hypothetical reasons why something may or may not happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm confused by the topic. OP and yourself have clearly gone exclusive.

Not sure why you need reasons some people don't want to be exclusive.

Or have I read it wrong?

I think it's a topic stemming from the "we have done this, that caused us to speculate as to how do we keep it working, to then considering how anyone in similar situations keep it working..."

Preventative issue planning.

Both wrong sorry, it stems from a thread posted by a guy earlier today. He and a female had agreed exclusivity, but she was meeting others. He was naturally upset by this but did say I know it’s a swinging site. That started me thinking if you’ve agreed to be exclusive surely that doesn’t mean you can’t say, actually this isn’t what I want. Then move on or evolve, or is it different in this environment? Or had the female maybe been swept into something she didn’t really want? Swing and I talked about it then came the thread as an extension of the discussion "

It sounds to me she didn't understand what the word exclusive meant. Or he didn't say it out loud to her when they "agreed" it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm confused by the topic. OP and yourself have clearly gone exclusive.

Not sure why you need reasons some people don't want to be exclusive.

Or have I read it wrong?

I think it's a topic stemming from the "we have done this, that caused us to speculate as to how do we keep it working, to then considering how anyone in similar situations keep it working..."

Preventative issue planning.

Both wrong sorry, it stems from a thread posted by a guy earlier today. He and a female had agreed exclusivity, but she was meeting others. He was naturally upset by this but did say I know it’s a swinging site. That started me thinking if you’ve agreed to be exclusive surely that doesn’t mean you can’t say, actually this isn’t what I want. Then move on or evolve, or is it different in this environment? Or had the female maybe been swept into something she didn’t really want? Swing and I talked about it then came the thread as an extension of the discussion "

They agreed to be exclusive so she was cheating on him. Where people met is irrelevant. Some people think being swingers means cheating is ok.

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