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"This is FAB right? Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... I know exactly where your coming from a ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... It’s only fab right? It’s just casual yeah? Move on yeah......why do we let things hurt us? " Well I know exactly how you feel and it's seriously made me think about why it's maybe best to just have casual sex because meeting the same person time and again feelings to get involved and it dos hurt when you realise it was all just lies from day one | |||
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"We cant help how we feel. Hugs x" She's right, feeling are uncontrollable, the best we can do is control how we react to them. | |||
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"This is FAB right? Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... " It is all of those things - and you are the normal one to feel them, you have been deceived, betrayed and violated, they have done you actual harm. I don't know how people can either - I just know the Internet is full of such people. | |||
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"I know how it feels also it rips you up inside. I met my partner on here 7 years ago and we are soul mates. But over course of last few months we have split. She has a friend as she calls him who talks to to help her through. But when I questioned it they became friends while we was still together. She told was just talking and couldn't be with another man or lay in the same bed as ours with one. Found on he stayed over Sunday and they had a late night. Now she says when I ask if together no still friends but possible could sleep together again. I know I'm a mugbut you can't help who your heart wants. I tell myself to move on and forget but it's hard. So I get how your feeling mate. " Hugs xx | |||
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"I know how it feels also it rips you up inside. I met my partner on here 7 years ago and we are soul mates. But over course of last few months we have split. She has a friend as she calls him who talks to to help her through. But when I questioned it they became friends while we was still together. She told was just talking and couldn't be with another man or lay in the same bed as ours with one. Found on he stayed over Sunday and they had a late night. Now she says when I ask if together no still friends but possible could sleep together again. I know I'm a mugbut you can't help who your heart wants. I tell myself to move on and forget but it's hard. So I get how your feeling mate. Hugs xx" Thanks xx | |||
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"I think the crux of it comes down to expecting monogamy on a non-monogamy site. The vast majoroty of people on here are happy for their partners to play, yet you say you felt crushed by it. If that's the case, then perhaps a non-monogamy site isn't the best place for you? I would never force non-monogamy on anyone, and don't look down on people who chose monogamy, but I think monogamy should be a choice, rather than a default option. At least now you know that its not and can chose rhe relationship that is right for you, and can find a partner looking for the same thing. Good luck OP." | |||
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"This is FAB right? Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... It’s only fab right? It’s just casual yeah? Move on yeah......why do we let things hurt us? Sex is possibly the closest,most intimate you can get with a person. It's a very cold person who can feel no emotion at all. " | |||
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"Don't get attached. Never get attached. Put an emotional wall up." | |||
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"This is FAB right? Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... It’s only fab right? It’s just casual yeah? Move on yeah......why do we let things hurt us? " You got a case of the feels OP This is a site for swingers, not daters. Other people may see this differently, but exclusivity is more a relationship. And even then - Our relationship isn't exactly exclusive. It seems you thought you were in a relationship, maybe the person in question felt different? Did you come off this site during your exclusivity, or did you keep your profile running? If you kept your profile, WHY? Did you discuss exclusivity? even if you did, this person doesn't need to run everything past you, if they want to meet others, they can - you were not in a relationship - or at least not in there eyes you weren't. If an opportunity comes along, they have every right to take it! It sounds that NSA may not be for you. | |||
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"Don't get attached. Never get attached. Put an emotional wall up." Easier said than done sometimes. | |||
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"This is FAB right? Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... It’s only fab right? It’s just casual yeah? Move on yeah......why do we let things hurt us? " hugs x | |||
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"Everyone needs love and affection .... We all look for a soul mate ... " even when we have been hurt and not looking but really we are | |||
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"This is FAB right? Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... It’s only fab right? It’s just casual yeah? Move on yeah......why do we let things hurt us? " sometimes this site can suck, u meet someone u get on really well and u agree "exclusive" and one doesnt do it as the pull of the site brings youu back its partly why i dont accommodate or go to peoples as i try to keep emotions to a minimum | |||
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"This is FAB right? Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... It’s only fab right? It’s just casual yeah? Move on yeah......why do we let things hurt us? You got a case of the feels OP This is a site for swingers, not daters. Other people may see this differently, but exclusivity is more a relationship. And even then - Our relationship isn't exactly exclusive. It seems you thought you were in a relationship, maybe the person in question felt different? Did you come off this site during your exclusivity, or did you keep your profile running? If you kept your profile, WHY? Did you discuss exclusivity? even if you did, this person doesn't need to run everything past you, if they want to meet others, they can - you were not in a relationship - or at least not in there eyes you weren't. If an opportunity comes along, they have every right to take it! It sounds that NSA may not be for you." Very sensible response | |||
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"I think if you haven’t set the boundaries with someone you regularly sleep with, like that you want to sleep with them exclusively or if they want to be able to continue to swing, you’re going to get hurt. I’m open and honest with those I’m regular with. " I think that's the point here - it was the deception that hurt him so badly. Deception destroys everything good. | |||
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"I think if you haven’t set the boundaries with someone you regularly sleep with, like that you want to sleep with them exclusively or if they want to be able to continue to swing, you’re going to get hurt. I’m open and honest with those I’m regular with. I think that's the point here - it was the deception that hurt him so badly. Deception destroys everything good." This exactly.....I wasn’t looking for feelings they happened by accident due to circumstance.....it was made out they were on both sides.....so yes it’s the deception that hurts....the feeling I’ve been mugged off....made to let my guard down....now I question everything that was said privately about personal lives..... For those asking was my profile active it was but genuinely to speak to friends and I was told the same on her part when I asked.....I did ask about others and was told there wasn’t anyone else.......I found out by accident...popping round to say hi to find someone’s else’s car outside....not really knowing what to do I carried on by and asked later to be told it’s was a “supportive friend” when asked if it was sexual was told “I’ve slept with him this week”.....I can do casual and FwB but I’m a human and when you click you click or so I thought. | |||
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"take her off your christmas card list , that'll learn her ..................." This is my extent of meanness.......however someone has pm’d saying no I should fake a false profile using any pics she sent and use her real name and location.....thought that a bit strong and slightly illegal not to mention beneath me. | |||
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"I know how you feel OP, been there, been hurt... So now no relationships for me, just 2 or 3 FBs who I'm friends with but no emotional attachments. That way you can't get hurt, right? " Still happens to us all | |||
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"I know how you feel OP, been there, been hurt... So now no relationships for me, just 2 or 3 FBs who I'm friends with but no emotional attachments. That way you can't get hurt, right? Still happens to us all " Seems to happen to an awful lot of people and different perceptions of what’s acceptable....maybe I should just put my feelings in a cage and become a machine and not think about others or show them weakness! | |||
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"I know how you feel OP, been there, been hurt... So now no relationships for me, just 2 or 3 FBs who I'm friends with but no emotional attachments. That way you can't get hurt, right? Still happens to us all Seems to happen to an awful lot of people and different perceptions of what’s acceptable....maybe I should just put my feelings in a cage and become a machine and not think about others or show them weakness! " We are human, we all have feelings and emotions and we all occasionally end up the same as you. | |||
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"I know how you feel OP, been there, been hurt... So now no relationships for me, just 2 or 3 FBs who I'm friends with but no emotional attachments. That way you can't get hurt, right? Still happens to us all Seems to happen to an awful lot of people and different perceptions of what’s acceptable....maybe I should just put my feelings in a cage and become a machine and not think about others or show them weakness! " But that is not living. | |||
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"I think if you haven’t set the boundaries with someone you regularly sleep with, like that you want to sleep with them exclusively or if they want to be able to continue to swing, you’re going to get hurt. I’m open and honest with those I’m regular with. Do I get twinges of jealousy? Sure. I don’t always want to share. But it soon dissipates when I’m contacted by other potentials and I remember that it’s not in our boundaries. It’s not what we do. If anyone I was with regularly started to have ‘feelings’ I would expect them to tell me so we could decide how to proceed with it. It sounds clinical as fuck but sometimes keeping those things there helps long term. " Well said | |||
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"This is FAB right? ******UPDATE******* Huge thank you to all who post lovely comments, were supportive and took the time just to read. The situation is confusing and complicated and I’m hoping will work out in my favour (bit selfish I guess). Thanks x Consensual grown ups having casual no strings sexual fun with each other in groups, couples and gangs...... ...so why is it when you meet someone on a one 2 one basis does hurt so much when you find out that you weren’t “exclusive” as you believed and that you’ve been lied to and even used and now your made to feel it was you that did something hurtful....is really hurt you feel or is it a hurt pride at the fact you were stupid enough to beleive the stories, made to care for someone that played you....is it sadness as the bond you thought you’d made is suddenly broken and you feel a little lost because the person made you feel you were really liked, wanted and special to them....or is it anger....that someone did that to you and seemingly carries on, on this site seemingly without a care...... It’s only fab right? It’s just casual yeah? Move on yeah......why do we let things hurt us? " | |||
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"Don't get attached. Never get attached. Put an emotional wall up. Easier said than done sometimes." Don't I know it | |||
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"Don't get attached. Never get attached. Put an emotional wall up. Easier said than done sometimes. Don't I know it" i guess for couples this is a good practice but for singles receptive to the idea of finding someone to be a couple with then not so much. being hurt sucks the big one....it really does but i for one will not change my outlook because of it. i may be more cautious perhaps but i believe that love will find me again and i intend to be receptive to it. | |||
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