FabSwingers.com forum: Sooo after being dumped last week...

By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

He dumped you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's horny.

Or he genuinely misses you.

Respond tomorrow, if horny it would have passed by then and you can get more genuine response from him.

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By *aiseaneyebrowMan
over a year ago

Fylde

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

Sounds like a pang if loneliness and regret.

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By *orkisses75Man
over a year ago

York

You’re beautiful. Never go back x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And a word of caution, if he thinks he can mess you about by dumping you and then trying taking to take up with you when he fancies, then in all reality he's probably a bounder.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

He dumped you? Christ do you make crap tea or something?

I'd ignore and leave it for a day or 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

Ask yourself do you want this guy back in your life?

Don't let them emotionally play you.

Finally go with what your heart says after asking yourself these questions

This is my process. Good luck on whatever you decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send him a pic with you and another guy say you already moved on and watch him implode cos his games failed lol

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Is it a case of he's now panicking you will move on, and can't handle that idea?

Big hugs lovey xx

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"And a word of caution, if he thinks he can mess you about by dumping you and then trying taking to take up with you when he fancies, then in all reality he's probably a bounder."

I won't respond tonight as I don't know how I feel,but I do miss not seeing him. I just don't know what he's playing at,he finished it so why say that. It doesn't make sense

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"He dumped you? Christ do you make crap tea or something?

I'd ignore and leave it for a day or 2"

This..then tell him to sod off lol. Hope you're ok hun xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who has been dumped many times in the past, my advice would be to not fall for it, delete his number and cut ties altogether.

Nothing good ever comes out of being in touch with an ex

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Some people don't realise how awesome you are until they don't have you.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

Mind games, ignore him, you don't deserve to be messed about, you're worth much more than that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block his number and anywhere else he can contact you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is only one answer OP

Follow your

But if he dumped you you don't have to rush to decide just because he texted you.

If he's genuine then he will wait. If you want more than what you had or want it different then the hard part comes next..

Only two people have the questions and answers and you need to sort those out between you...

Talking is often the hardest part but without it then not much else ever works

Good luck with whatever you decide x

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Let the fucker squirm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No second chances.

You're absolutely lovely.

Move on...

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Some people don't realise how awesome you are until they don't have you.

I like this x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And a word of caution, if he thinks he can mess you about by dumping you and then trying taking to take up with you when he fancies, then in all reality he's probably a bounder.

I won't respond tonight as I don't know how I feel,but I do miss not seeing him. I just don't know what he's playing at,he finished it so why say that. It doesn't make sense

He's lonely / bored/ horny and is changing his arm would be my guess, and it's easier to call an ex rather than have to graft for a new meet with something new. Perhaps he genuinely is missing you, but he's dumped you and clearly acted like an asshole, so hold your head up and walk away. Have enough self respect to not let him hurt you again.

That block function on whatsapp/fab/Facebook is quite handy in these circumstances I find.

Be gentle on yourself - you are stronger than you think xx

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Some people don't realise how awesome you are until they don't have you.

I like this x"

It's true. They don't want you until they can't have you.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Don't respond, leave it a day or two and see how you feel then, he might well be regretting it, but give yourself breathing space to see how you really feel and take it from there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people don't realise how awesome you are until they don't have you.

Exactly this

Or he could be a horny bounder. But whatever you do OP, think with your head and heart.

You know the man, trust your instinct and do what is best for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

I’m in the same place.....met someone.....thought we were exclusive....helped and supported through really difficult times and illness which apparently has made her not wanting to leave the house of meet people .....to find out she’s sleeping with other guys most recent last week.....when I found out she by chance she said sorry then blocked me on all formats....friend showed her profile tonight and her status is asking about bulls etc.....right now feel so stupid and used and and idiot for being taken in!

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

Things might not have worked out for you both and only he knows the real reason why he "dumped" you but he might be missing you,

People can break up but still have feelings for each other,

Give it a day or two and if you still miss him maybe meet up for a coffee and talk about it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Classic manipulation technique. Dumps you, leaves it a few days then tries to make you feel sorry for him. You end up not knowing what to think but for sure you're thinking about him more than you were before he messaged.

It's possible that he genuinely does miss you but be wary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!

You're not an idiot. Just some folk are good at being deceitful.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

1 thing life has tought me and I include my dumb arse self in this is a bloke rarely sees what he has or loves most until he's losing it and if he manages to get it back eventually he'll do the same dumb arse thing all over again till finally he's destroyed the thing he now knows means the most in the world to him. I know that's know help sweet but it is a fact. My advise to you is date me instead I've learned my lessons well now

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"As someone who has been dumped many times in the past, my advice would be to not fall for it, delete his number and cut ties altogether.

Nothing good ever comes out of being in touch with an ex"

I had deleted it,he wasn't exactly an ex really we'd only been dating each other a couple of month's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"
Maybe he foundout you were playing on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And a word of caution, if he thinks he can mess you about by dumping you and then trying taking to take up with you when he fancies, then in all reality he's probably a bounder.

I won't respond tonight as I don't know how I feel,but I do miss not seeing him. I just don't know what he's playing at,he finished it so why say that. It doesn't make sense

That block function on whatsapp/fab/Facebook is quite handy in these circumstances I find.

Be gentle on yourself - you are stronger than you think xx"

This! ...plus they like to keep options open and boost their ego, know your worth and choose someone worthy of your attention x

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Don't respond, leave it a day or two and see how you feel then, he might well be regretting it, but give yourself breathing space to see how you really feel and take it from there

I will do

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!Maybe he foundout you were playing on here?"

I wasn't playing on here,he know's I was on the forum's only. I have never cheated in my life and never would. I've only just redone my profile today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him to take a long walk off a short cliff x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex dumped me 4 weeks ago (for someone else),, text me saying he's sorry, can we talk etc.only because the one he dumped me for has dumped him,,, sorry but im not a 'fill in', just dont make a rash decision,whats meant to be will be.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Don't respond, leave it a day or two and see how you feel then, he might well be regretting it, but give yourself breathing space to see how you really feel and take it from there

I will do

Glad to hear it, take the time for you and don't feel pressured, your a strong and extremely good looking woman! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Classic manipulation technique. Dumps you, leaves it a few days then tries to make you feel sorry for him. You end up not knowing what to think but for sure you're thinking about him more than you were before he messaged.

It's possible that he genuinely does miss you but be wary."

Absolutely this. And remember a manipulation technique doesn't have to be something he's even consciously aware of. Something made him end it and something is making him pull back -- whether a conscious play or not, he is not sure what he wants and that's not a healthy place to get reinvolved in -- however much you're missing him. If he decides that you are exactly what he wants and he wants to make a go of it at your pace and on equal terms, he will go for it regardless of your reply to him right now.

In fact, if you do want him back then I'd say being strong and keeping space right now is actually exactly the right thing to do, so that he has to really decide if he wants to make a new go of it and has to come to you clearly and request that.

Give yourself a break and some self care. X

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

I'm so confused I didn't even read my thread through properly before posting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

He he dumped you he is a stupid man dont let him have the pleasure of using you like a yo yo

Move on beautiful his loss trust me lool at you

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Is it a case of he's now panicking you will move on, and can't handle that idea?

Big hugs lovey xx"

Heaven know's,he should have thought about that before he got rid

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

It's possible that he genuinely does miss you but be wary."

I haven't a clue about these thing's to be honest,but that make's sense.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

You dont need to read the same book twice.....the ending is always the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your gorgeous. Get chased, don’t do the chasing!

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

It's possible that he genuinely does miss you but be wary.

Give yourself a break and some self care. X"

He is basically a good guy from what I know of him,which is probably not a great deal to be fair in the length of time I've known him,so I don't believe he's consciously playing with me.

I will give it some time though to reply,he may just be telling me he's missing me without wanting to see me again I don't know?!

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

"You dont need to read the same book twice.....the ending is always the same

Sometimes when you read a book a second time you take more in and get a different perspective on what you are reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, I think you both love each other. I reckon you both will be getting married in future.. Go with the flow, he will apologise to you soon...xx

Sending love lock spells to u both..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who has been dumped many times in the past, my advice would be to not fall for it, delete his number and cut ties altogether.

Nothing good ever comes out of being in touch with an ex

I had deleted it,he wasn't exactly an ex really we'd only been dating each other a couple of month's."

Fair enough but still the best option would be to cut ties altogether.

Its something I've had to do especially after being dumped last Christmas. I had to delete her number and block her email after her mum sent a harsh email the day after boxing day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget he wanted you to chase him. He's reminding you that he exists. Saying he won't text again to make you miss him/ want what you can't have.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

If he's that bothered he'll text you again, depending on how long that takes and what he says, will tell you the right choice for you, but if there's any doubt in your mind I wouldn't go back to him.

An ex is an ex for a reason.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Honestly, I think you both love each other. I reckon you both will be getting married in future.. Go with the flow, he will apologise to you soon...xx

Sending love lock spells to u both..

We don't love each other.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Don't forget he wanted you to chase him. He's reminding you that he exists. Saying he won't text again to make you miss him/ want what you can't have. "

You're confusing me more lady,so do you reckon he doesn't want me?

Oh God I'm rubbish at trying to work out thing's.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Oh blimey, how confusing and just as you were starting to forget him!!

Don't fall for it unless you really, REALLY like him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah what a pain for you. If you can wait a few days, and either see if he does text again, or what is said on the next one, might give you more of an idea what he's thinking then

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

What a cynical lot you all are!!The OP explained they both had their doubts due to a difference in needs, its just that he was the one to call a halt first. But if both have now reconsidered, no reason they should not chat about it and decide together if they want to go forward.

Be cautious by all means, but my advice would just be to be open and authentic and talk!!

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"You dont need to read the same book twice.....the ending is always the same

Sometimes when you read a book a second time you take more in and get a different perspective on what you are reading "

Absolutely but the end is always the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's missing you. That is a perfectly normal thing to expect. It shows he's not an insensitive robot.

You miss him too by the sound of it. It might not be enough to warrant telling him.

You don't have to reply but there is nothing wrong with a polite response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't forget he wanted you to chase him. He's reminding you that he exists. Saying he won't text again to make you miss him/ want what you can't have.

You're confusing me more lady,so do you reckon he doesn't want me?

Oh God I'm rubbish at trying to work out thing's."

Only he knows if he wants you. I agree with everyone saying wait and see what he does next. Actions speak louder than words. x

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

"Don't forget he wanted you to chase him. He's reminding you that he exists. Saying he won't text again to make you miss him/ want what you can't have.

You're confusing me more lady,so do you reckon he doesn't want me?

Oh God I'm rubbish at trying to work out thing's."

He wants to be wanted!

To boost his ego.

You said above that you don't love each other, so there's no reason to go back to him, and i think deep down you know this, you won't be happy if you got back with him so it wouldn't work, you'll just get hurt even more.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

"What a cynical lot you all are!!The OP explained they both had their doubts due to a difference in needs, its just that he was the one to call a halt first. But if both have now reconsidered, no reason they should not chat about it and decide together if they want to go forward.

Be cautious by all means, but my advice would just be to be open and authentic and talk!!"

Maybe were still nursing the wounds from the last time we got burned?

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Oh blimey, how confusing and just as you were starting to forget him!!

Don't fall for it unless you really, REALLY like him x"

It is confusing,there was things I really liked about him and a few thing's that irritated me,it was probably the same for him,but then he's not said he want's to see me again anyway so I may be overthinking thing's for nothing

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Don't respond, leave it a day or two and see how you feel then, he might well be regretting it, but give yourself breathing space to see how you really feel and take it from there

I will do

Glad to hear it, take the time for you and don't feel pressured, your a strong and extremely good looking woman! x"

That's nice to hear thankyou Xx

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Don't forget he wanted you to chase him. He's reminding you that he exists. Saying he won't text again to make you miss him/ want what you can't have.

You're confusing me more lady,so do you reckon he doesn't want me?

Oh God I'm rubbish at trying to work out thing's.

He wants to be wanted!

To boost his ego.

He said last week he could have fallen in love with me,but he didn't think I would ever feel the same. I just wanted to enjoy our time together and let thing's grow without forcing thing's. Impatient bugger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The same happened to me about 1 month ago. My partner of 8yrs left me suddenly said she needed space and moved out. I have kept the distance since and now she is starting to make contact. These things do happen and I now believe space is a wonderful healer although it’s had to accept they left and will they do it again?! Keep your chin up, keep your distance and think about YOU!!! Xx

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

"The same happened to me about 1 month ago. My partner of 8yrs left me suddenly said she needed space and moved out. I have kept the distance since and now she is starting to make contact. These things do happen and I now believe space is a wonderful healer although it’s had to accept they left and will they do it again?! Keep your chin up, keep your distance and think about YOU!!! Xx"

I feel your pain fella, my wife of 8yrs did the same to me a year ago, distance is the best thing for me.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

That's pants after 8 year's,do you think you'll get back together?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Oh blimey, how confusing and just as you were starting to forget him!!

Don't fall for it unless you really, REALLY like him x

We do overthink a lot don't we?

If I was you if I *really* liked him and could get over the things that irritated me and his neediness

I might consider giving it another go, it was in the early stages after all and if he's good looking and a good shag... why not? But I'd make it 100% clear that if he fucked me off that would be it!!

Hope that helps, probably not! X

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By *ettinkWoman
over a year ago

fairyfactory

Never go back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not become his doormat.

Plenty of other better guys in this world. Have fun and go find them.

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Manipulation, it will be harder if you restart things and it happens again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From experience OP trust your feelings and never go back

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

Never go back! (as Tinks said)

Especially if you suspect even a hint of emotional immaturity...

Oh! And date Bladey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you feel your life is better with him in it or not?

I disagree with the never go back comments.

Only you know how he makes you feel.

Life’s too short to snub people who may have made a mistake and are now regretting dumping you.

Seize the day.

Be happy.

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By *hips n FursMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Don't become his puppet,or he will forever be pulling the strings.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Do you feel your life is better with him in it or not?

I disagree with the never go back comments.

Only you know how he makes you feel.

Life’s too short to snub people who may have made a mistake and are now regretting dumping you.

Seize the day.

Be happy.

Exactly, I agree. I have ended relationships and restarted them several times in my life, and I was definitely not manipulating anyone or playing games.

Sounds like he ended it because he was worried he was falling and it would not be reciprocated, and still is. He has told you he misses you - yes, that could be a machiavellian manipulation technique....or simply an honest confession!!

I would put the ball back in his court by telling him how I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

What the... flip!

He dumped you!!

My advice will probably confuse you more so I won't post it. You have a really difficult decision to make.

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By *heeky_subCouple
over a year ago

northampton

I wouldn't go back, he hurt you once, he could hurt you again.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actions speak louder than words! You've been dumped. He may actually miss you as a death pang of the relationship but not enough to be back with you. Don't indulge his guilt and pity for you. Just let him know that you hope he is able to cope and move on without worrying about you because you will deal with it and be absolutely fine.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

This is the guy that you couldn't be honest with about your fantasies because he's homophobic or not tolerant of it at least. It's not a great life when you can't be honest with your own partner, as I've said before. So probably this isn't the right one for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He missed you after just 1 week? I've watched films that have been longer than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont look back, look forward lifes too short.

Do what you got to do and move on, there's plenty of fish(men).

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"This is the guy that you couldn't be honest with about your fantasies because he's homophobic or not tolerant of it at least. It's not a great life when you can't be honest with your own partner, as I've said before. So probably this isn't the right one for you. "

He reason's he said he wasn't sure about us was the not feeling like I would ever love him back even though he didn't love me at stage,it was only two months or so for heaven's sake and the threesome stuff. That's not how he views sex apparently and he doesn't agree with bisexuals

. Gay people are fine,but bi people no,he couldn't even give me a decent answer as to why he thinks like that.

I stopped myself telling him the threesomes were with bi guy's,I think he may have walked out there and then! I wish he had been more open minded.

He's on holiday this week so has time to think about thing's more

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

. Gay people are fine,but bi people no,he couldn't even give me a decent answer as to why he thinks like that.

I stopped myself telling him the threesomes were with bi guy's,I think he may have walked out there and then! I wish he had been more open minded.

He's on holiday this week so has time to think about thing's more

I was thinking about you yesterday on here I haven't seen you for a while

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Actions speak louder than words! You've been dumped. He may actually miss you as a death pang of the relationship but not enough to be back with you. Don't indulge his guilt and pity for you. Just let him know that you hope he is able to cope and move on without worrying about you because you will deal with it and be absolutely fine. "

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly you look stunning and secondly it doesn’t matter what he is playing at and why he text make sure you are ok and happy and what will be will be don’t let him control you or get you down by sending the odd text x

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

. Gay people are fine,but bi people no,he couldn't even give me a decent answer as to why he thinks like that.

I stopped myself telling him the threesomes were with bi guy's,I think he may have walked out there and then! I wish he had been more open minded.

He's on holiday this week so has time to think about thing's more

I was thinking about you yesterday on here I haven't seen you for a while "

I was down under! I think I messaged you before I went.

Okay so on that front you really aren't compatible. Personally i don't mind others not understanding etc but for a partner it's really important and I see a massive difference to my life, having someone with same interests on that front and the ability to accept and be happy with what we both are. Secrets are draining x

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Is completely normal to miss somebody that has been a big part of your life and you have spent a lot of time with comma unfortunately missing them doesn't make you any more compatible though.

Even if he is missing you, is it still doesn't make you the right people for each other.

I hope you end up with the perfect situation for you, whatever that might be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like a kangaroo court with almost everyone condemning the guy without having met him or hearing his side of the story. Also I suspect the reaction on the forum would be totally different if it was a guy who'd been dumped because he had suggested a MFF threesome with his partner.

Anyway...back to the thread...

He's probably feeling pretty shitty at the moment. He's ended a relationship with a woman he said he loved. She couldn't say she felt the same way for various reasons.

From the OP's description of him he sounds like a very nice normal guy. There were things in the relationship that they weren't 100% compatible with. The OP has voiced doubts and concerns of relationship moving forward.

Was he aware of those doubts & concerns? Were they too big for him to move forward? I don't know but I suspect the decision to finish wasn't easy for him.

Adding some 'kink/swing' into a vanilla relationship needs both to be willing participants.

Maybe he has done the OP a favour...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he needs sex and feeling in need of a friend who he knows . But do friends hurt each other and mess up there heads no .. Move on he will do this again and again if you let him back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And a word of caution, if he thinks he can mess you about by dumping you and then trying taking to take up with you when he fancies, then in all reality he's probably a bounder.

I won't respond tonight as I don't know how I feel,but I do miss not seeing him. I just don't know what he's playing at,he finished it so why say that. It doesn't make sense

That block function on whatsapp/fab/Facebook is quite handy in these circumstances I find.

Be gentle on yourself - you are stronger than you think xx

This! ...plus they like to keep options open and boost their ego, know your worth and choose someone worthy of your attention x"

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I have to say I'm pleased there's so many guys on here offering advice and sharing there opinions, all supporting this lovely lady at this difficult time,

And they're not white knighting,

Genuine compassion from nice guys,

I salute you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave it a day or 2 if he really wants you he'll respond back. If he was just after some hoochie coochie delete his number and be available for a better relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

Mind games, simple, block his number and move on with your life.

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By *ooking4othersMan
over a year ago

Here ...

You have only known each other a couple of months so you should discuss what you both want / need from your relationship and figure out if you're truly compatible.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m friends with a few of my exes but it took me a long time to speak to them again. Let the horrible feeling of ‘you’re a complete dick mate’ pass. Haha!

It’s likely he is just feeling sorry for himself. I’d leave it a couple of days and when you do reply don’t show your cards. He doesn’t need to know you miss him too, you’re not there to fluff his ego.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I am good friends with many of my exes including my very first ever boyfriend.

It does take a long time for me personally, to get to that place though, I would say at least three months with no contact in order for me to get my feelings and emotions fairly stable to consider a friendship.

Everybody of course is completely different. But that seems to be the way that my mind works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And a word of caution, if he thinks he can mess you about by dumping you and then trying taking to take up with you when he fancies, then in all reality he's probably a bounder.

I won't respond tonight as I don't know how I feel,but I do miss not seeing him. I just don't know what he's playing at,he finished it so why say that. It doesn't make sense

"
is this tha guy who wanted you to chase and fight for him?... sounds his ego is dented if it is... I'd give him a wide berth personally.. Xx

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"It sounds like a kangaroo court with almost everyone condemning the guy without having met him or hearing his side of the story. Also I suspect the reaction on the forum would be totally different if it was a guy who'd been dumped because he had suggested a MFF threesome with his partner.

Anyway...back to the thread...

He's probably feeling pretty shitty at the moment. He's ended a relationship with a woman he said he loved. She couldn't say she felt the same way for various reasons.

Was he aware of those doubts & concerns? Were they too big for him to move forward? I don't know but I suspect the decision to finish wasn't easy for him.

Adding some 'kink/swing' into a vanilla relationship needs both to be willing participants.

Maybe he has done the OP a favour...

Let me just clarify he's never said he's loved me,we've only known each just over a couple of months. He finished our dating because he thought that he would fall for me but that I would never feel the same and the fact I've had threesomes with guy's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He finished with you because of something you did before he was around?

Ok so that makes this easier. He’s not worth your thoughts bub. No one should ever make you feel ashamed of something you did before they came along.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

cotswolds/herefordshire

Sounds like he does actually like you a lot but is afraid that you don't feel the same way and so he wants to say how much he misses you but is worried that you'll get annoyed by the fact he messaged you to say that. So he wants to give you some space to think about what he's said and he's hoping that you might feel the same and will message him when you realise.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

. Gay people are fine,but bi people no,he couldn't even give me a decent answer as to why he thinks like that.

I stopped myself telling him the threesomes were with bi guy's,I think he may have walked out there and then! I wish he had been more open minded.

He's on holiday this week so has time to think about thing's more

I was thinking about you yesterday on here I haven't seen you for a while

I was down under! I think I messaged you before I went.

Yes of course you did say! You're right in what you're saying,I have to weigh up if that's important enough for me to ignore it in him,probably not I know

. I would love him to have the same interests,but he doesn't there's no changing that.

Who say's he even wants to try again anyway x

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"He finished with you because of something you did before he was around?

Yeah he feel's like he would never be enough for me and to be honest I don't know if anyone would

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Sounds like he does actually like you a lot but is afraid that you don't feel the same way and so he wants to say how much he misses you but is worried that you'll get annoyed by the fact he messaged you to say that. So he wants to give you some space to think about what he's said and he's hoping that you might feel the same and will message him when you realise. "

Food for thought thankyou...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He finished with you because of something you did before he was around?

Yeah he feel's like he would never be enough for me and to be honest I don't know if anyone would

If you have that doubt then he’s not worth it. I had a similar thing with an ex and I absolutely adored him. I mean, it hurt so much when he dumped me and it wasn’t long we were together for. He appeared back in my life via text message some months later telling me he had fucked up and he was sorry and even though I still really wanted to try I said no. It wasn’t worth the drama and I didn’t want to go through that again. I can understand being torn though. I personally would have ditched him the minute he said that was an issue though. Purely because it’s not something you can change and I find it incredibly immature on his part to think that’s a good enough reason to let go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps he has had time to reflect? Realised you meant more to him than he thought? That's the reason for the message.

You'll never find someone that doesn't irritate you in some way. As long as they are small ways, you can get over them.

I would say your confusion suggests you obviously like the guy. It's how much you like him? Is he worth trying again?

Like some, I would say never go back. I believe it never works. Maybe for a short time, but those same things crop up.

He wouldn't say he missed you if he didn't, so I guess it's down to you to decide what to do. If he regrets dumping you, he still knows about the 3some etc, so it could be a genuine miss.

Take your time and decide what's right for you. Not him or what anyone says on here. You.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Take your time and decide what's right for you. Not him or what anyone says on here. You. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just received a text from him saying he missing me,won't text again.

Now I'm confused as hell as today I've thought about him a little less

. Was is he playing at?!"

Playing with your head. Ignore. Much better that way

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

"And a word of caution, if he thinks he can mess you about by dumping you and then trying taking to take up with you when he fancies, then in all reality he's probably a bounder.

I won't respond tonight as I don't know how I feel,but I do miss not seeing him. I just don't know what he's playing at,he finished it so why say that. It doesn't make sense

He is playing mind games

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Perhaps he has had time to reflect? Realised you meant more to him than he thought? That's the reason for the message.

You'll never find someone that doesn't irritate you in some way. As long as they are small ways, you can get over them.

I would say your confusion suggests you obviously like the guy. It's how much you like him? Is he worth trying again?

Like some, I would say never go back. I believe it never works. Maybe for a short time, but those same things crop up.

He wouldn't say he missed you if he didn't, so I guess it's down to you to decide what to do. If he regrets dumping you, he still knows about the 3some etc, so it could be a genuine miss.

Take your time and decide what's right for you. Not him or what anyone says on here. You. "

Thankyou,I will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

When my ex dumped me in Aug and said he still wanted to be friends, I instantly knew it was because he wanted me as a back up plan. I told him that if he didnt have me as a girlfriend he could not have me at all. Haven't heard from him so clearly I didn't mean that much to him.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything. "

We weren't even that far down the line,it wasn't even 'official' so to speak. He barely gave us a chance,well he didn't give me a chance he got rid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well definitely don't be some kind of backup option then - he can jog on his merry way and find someone else to mess about xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything.

We weren't even that far down the line,it wasn't even 'official' so to speak. He barely gave us a chance,well he didn't give me a chance he got rid."

Then unfortuantly sweetie he is keeping you on the side lines in case something else doesn't come along.

Please, please, please don't be fooled by him he is after a quick lay that's it. Try going a whole week without messaging him or speaking to him... if he still messages you ect then maybe he does miss you.. if not then he wasn't even bothered about trying to get you to speaking terms let alone into a relationship/dating stage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You’re beautiful. Never go back x"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything.

We weren't even that far down the line,it wasn't even 'official' so to speak. He barely gave us a chance,well he didn't give me a chance he got rid."

Stop worrying about it then. Don't pander to his boredom.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything.

We weren't even that far down the line,it wasn't even 'official' so to speak. He barely gave us a chance,well he didn't give me a chance he got rid.

Then unfortuantly sweetie he is keeping you on the side lines in case something else doesn't come along.

But...what if he does really miss me and he's now waiting to see what I say. I don't want to throw away what could be a good thing in the long run,inspite of our differences. I haven't texted him yet so I'm well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything.

We weren't even that far down the line,it wasn't even 'official' so to speak. He barely gave us a chance,well he didn't give me a chance he got rid.

Then unfortuantly sweetie he is keeping you on the side lines in case something else doesn't come along.

But...what if he does really miss me and he's now waiting to see what I say. I don't want to throw away what could be a good thing in the long run, inspite of our differences. I haven't texted him yet so I'm well

If he really misses you then he will get back in contact to see why you haven't replied. Or just reply and say your either together in a relationship or not in each others lives.. just dont jump into bed with him straight away if he chooses the relationship part as he could just say that for sex. He has to earn your trust back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything.

We weren't even that far down the line,it wasn't even 'official' so to speak. He barely gave us a chance,well he didn't give me a chance he got rid.

Then unfortuantly sweetie he is keeping you on the side lines in case something else doesn't come along.

Actions speak louder than a text

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Honestly, He is lonely and wants female company... as his ex you are the easiest target as he already knows you.

I would stay far far away and take him out of your life completely.

Say the same thing to him... "if you cant be his girlfriend then you wont be in his life" his response will tell you everything.

We weren't even that far down the line,it wasn't even 'official' so to speak. He barely gave us a chance,well he didn't give me a chance he got rid.

Then unfortuantly sweetie he is keeping you on the side lines in case something else doesn't come along.

Exactly. I can't believe how negative and, well sorry, but bitter most people on this thread sound when they've never even met the guy!!

Just be straight, tell him honestly how you feel - why would any adult do anything else? If he turns out to be not what you want by the time YOU have had long enough to decide then all well and good.

And I know two months doesn't seem long enough to you, but to others it's forever if waiting for someone to make up their mind. I fall in love very quickly and would lose interest just as fast if someone was not sure.

I would give someone the benefit of the doubt long enough to be sure of their good character.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

Yes, if they haven't particularly done anything or didn't see it coming, especially if I had feelings for them. And again especially if they seemed very hurt by it or couldn't get over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been burned once before by not exploring the possibilities of the 'what if....' going around in my head because I listened to others instead of my instinct.

He's been open about where he stands sexually. 3sums & bisexuality ain't everyone's cup of tea so I'm not surprised that he feels he may not be enough for you in the sex department.

Therefore, you need to work out in your head if you think he will be & respond accordingly.

You obviously like him enough to have this dilemma....

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

Yes, if they haven't particularly done anything or didn't see it coming, especially if I had feelings for them. And again especially if they seemed very hurt by it or couldn't get over it. "

If you have feelings for someone why finish it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

Yes, if they haven't particularly done anything or didn't see it coming, especially if I had feelings for them. And again especially if they seemed very hurt by it or couldn't get over it.

If you have feelings for someone why finish it?"

he probably really likes you and has some feelings, but doesnt want the commitement of a reltionship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

Yes, if they haven't particularly done anything or didn't see it coming, especially if I had feelings for them. And again especially if they seemed very hurt by it or couldn't get over it.

If you have feelings for someone why finish it?"

I know, it sounds crazy. I suppose people either don't want to be committed or want something else. Feelings can be confusing and linger long after the end of a relationship. I know that you know all of these things but it can be like hearing it for the first time when ending a relationship. The only thing we can be absolutely certain about are actions! I'd they have left or clearly expressed a desire to leave the relationship, then only a clearly expressed desire to return can counter that. Anything else is the death twitches.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

Yes, if they haven't particularly done anything or didn't see it coming, especially if I had feelings for them. And again especially if they seemed very hurt by it or couldn't get over it.

If you have feelings for someone why finish it?"

Sometimes people only realise that they have feelings for a person after their relationship is over.

I stick by my earlier post but if you would like to rekindle the relationship I think the best thing you can do is say straight out. It will prevent time wasted wondering what he means and allow you to move on one way or another. All I would say is if you do get back together and he does this again it's time to call a halt once and for all.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

Yes, if they haven't particularly done anything or didn't see it coming, especially if I had feelings for them. And again especially if they seemed very hurt by it or couldn't get over it.

If you have feelings for someone why finish it?

he probably really likes you and has some feelings, but doesnt want the commitement of a reltionship."

He does it was me that was taking thing's slowly,he was obviously fed up with how slow I was taking thing's after two months.

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Would you feel pity for someone you've dumped?

Yes, if they haven't particularly done anything or didn't see it coming, especially if I had feelings for them. And again especially if they seemed very hurt by it or couldn't get over it.

If you have feelings for someone why finish it?

he probably really likes you and has some feelings, but doesnt want the commitement of a reltionship.

He does it was me that was taking thing's slowly,he was obviously fed up with how slow I was taking thing's after two months."

That should have said he did!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

? Bob Marley

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did he dump you op was I because he's fallen out of love or found someone new or decided to swing solo either way he's dumped you and now he's looking for casual sex then he's going to do itallover again keeping u on a hook

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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

? Bob Marley"

Well that's a cheery thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The person that dumped you is a fool & doesn't deserve you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

? Bob Marley"

Very, very true

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Truth be told, he was disapproving of your past, if you have no intention of repeating it, then there is no harm in taking things forward if that is what you want, if however, you would like to repeat that experience, then definitely back away now, as at the end of the day you do not match and never will x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking in general, many men usually dump someone if another person has sparked their interest. They will contact an ex / someone they've dated if that other interest didn't materialise into anything or if they want sex but a new love interest is not at that stage with them yet. Someone familiar can be viewed as a sure bet.

All situations are unique but before falling for bullshit, men will say anything to get sex, make certain he is not using you, as you'll end up feeling much worse if he dumps you again.

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