FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

***BREAKING NEWS***

Jump to newest
 

By *lue Narwhal OP   Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

EARTHQUAKE in Romford,Essex

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit Romford in the early hours, with the epicentre in Strait road. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Fuuuckinell".

The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. The Daily echo reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still coming to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Romford. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning".

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship crates of koppelberg to some of the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

There is an appeal to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:

Baseball caps

Full matching tracksuits

Nike Huarachi trainers

Tartan pyjamas

UGG Boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Microwave meals, Pot Noodles, Tins of baked beans, ice cream, Cans of Strong Bow or Special Brew and of course pies.

22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms.

£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

£15 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I was born n raised in Romford ya nobber

Them fucking ashtrays from Majorca are sweet son.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"EARTHQUAKE in Romford,Essex

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit Romford in the early hours, with the epicentre in Strait road. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Fuuuckinell".

The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. The Daily echo reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still coming to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Romford. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning".

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship crates of koppelberg to some of the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

There is an appeal to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:

Baseball caps

Full matching tracksuits

Nike Huarachi trainers

Tartan pyjamas

UGG Boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Microwave meals, Pot Noodles, Tins of baked beans, ice cream, Cans of Strong Bow or Special Brew and of course pies.

22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms.

£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

£15 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9."

Il admit to lol at this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Mate, fucking genius thread, I thought it was real at first, nearly spat my lambrini out lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lue Narwhal OP   Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort? "

No, but the engineers have been sent in...

British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?

No, but the engineers have been sent in...

British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. . "

Thank goodness...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give now and save...

Romford???

Text 12345... And give £250000000000000

Romford needs your help

(Don't forget syrupy voice over)

Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're not having my pot noodles! I'll send tartan pyjamas. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?

No, but the engineers have been sent in...

British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. . "

I hope they don't have alloy wheels on their vehicles..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lue Narwhal OP   Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"Give now and save...

Romford???

Text 12345... And give £250000000000000

Romford needs your help

(Don't forget syrupy voice over)

Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals "

And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..

Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...

So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG are takin the piss son...thats proper muggy you melt!

This is gonna get real awks naaaw....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Give now and save...

Romford???

Text 12345... And give £250000000000000

Romford needs your help

(Don't forget syrupy voice over)

Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals

And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..

Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...

So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690..."

Does cuddly Gaz come with a brand new ankle tag?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lue Narwhal OP   Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"OMG are takin the piss son...thats proper muggy you melt!

This is gonna get real awks naaaw....

"

Moi... Extracting the urine..

As if...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Give now and save...

Romford???

Text 12345... And give £250000000000000

Romford needs your help

(Don't forget syrupy voice over)

Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals

And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..

Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...

So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690...

Does cuddly Gaz come with a brand new ankle tag?"

That would be his gf Shaz with an ankle tag engraved HW...

Not that they were married

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Give now and save...

Romford???

Text 12345... And give £250000000000000

Romford needs your help

(Don't forget syrupy voice over)

Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals

And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..

Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...

So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690...

Does cuddly Gaz come with a brand new ankle tag?

That would be his gf Shaz with an ankle tag engraved HW...

Not that they were married "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I still laughed. It's like Christmas this joke ....... comes every year but we still love it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lue Narwhal OP   Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"I still laughed. It's like Christmas this joke ....... comes every year but we still love it. "

It comes once a year?

Fuck me, it's like me as well as Christmas...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I still laughed. It's like Christmas this joke ....... comes every year but we still love it.

It comes once a year?

Fuck me, it's like me as well as Christmas... "

Oh stop it with the sympathy seekin...... tsk ...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lue Narwhal OP   Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"I still laughed. It's like Christmas this joke ....... comes every year but we still love it.

It comes once a year?

Fuck me, it's like me as well as Christmas...

Oh stop it with the sympathy seekin...... tsk ... "

A man's gotta try..

Now where the feck is that violinist when you need him...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So funny

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work in Romford.

It is rough. Very rough.

More than half the men who fucked me had been to jail for something or other.

But that's why the men are so manly and fuck so hard.

No jokes.

Ladies if you fancy a real hard Rogering from a proper GEEZER then meet a Romford man. Guaranteed sore pussy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?

No, but the engineers have been sent in...

British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. . "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ussymufferMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Can send a consignment of buckfast from Lanarkshire if you need a tonic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lue Narwhal OP   Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"I used to work in Romford.

It is rough. Very rough.

More than half the men who fucked me had been to jail for something or other.

But that's why the men are so manly and fuck so hard.

No jokes.

Ladies if you fancy a real hard Rogering from a proper GEEZER then meet a Romford man. Guaranteed sore pussy.

"

Now that's a glowing reference if ever I've seen one....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

This works better than coffee for me this morning.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the best threads so far

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top