FabSwingers.com forum: why so upset?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do people get so upset about others opinions on attractiveness? And why does it almost always lead to name calling and bodyshaming? I am a fat bird but understand some guys would find a slimmer girl more attractive, (I find slim women attractive too!)or someone with virgin skin and brown hair, it doesn't hurt me that they would feel that way. I wouldn't call someone a name because of their opinion or choices, they do not affect me, nor slag off the people they like either, what is the point? Admittedly some people are not very good at getting their point across without being insulting but it doesn't mean everyone has to get into a slanging match about why bbw's are real women and better than matchsticks, or slimmer women are better than fat women, buff guys are better than dad bods or chunky monkeys are better than scrawny fellas. Why worry? Words are just that, if they are from someone that means nothing to you then why do their words or choices and opinions? I might be a little upset if someone that liked old, fat women with tattoos n blue hair thought I was grim but apart from that.... We all have preferences, just don't sweat it if you aren't it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hallelujah

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I suspect that some posts hold a mirror up to people's insecurities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get up with anyone who accepts I'm always right .... that if I condescend to meet them they should feel privileged ....and they should never have the audacity to think I will remember their name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we're so easily influenced and persuaded by others opinions, why have our own?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with you Op words on a screen by random people mean nothing

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

[Removed by poster at 12/10/17 17:30:40]

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"[Removed by poster at 12/10/17 17:30:40]"

Spelling mistake.

We all find diff people attractive but it hurts some egos and this is why they get the hump.

Me if I get rejected I reply with thank you for the reply. We are all diff in what we are looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always the same old blahhh on here - BBWs this and skinny birds that and I'm not gay if I fancy TVs, should I have a beard or a hairy fanny ...

Yawn!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely agree OP, preferences are just that. Everyone has a right to choose for themselves. Sometimes I'll message a profile that seems perfectly matched to me, and get a "no thanks" or it will simply be deleted. I can't get upset, as that would not change the outcome, so I quickly get over it and move on. There's never a need to bodyshame or be insulting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody well said Op!

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

I really wish I didn't get upset as i know it's pathetic but the occasional abusive messages do get me down.

I don't think I'm going to change as it's just me. I will just have to try to down a can of 'man up' next time it happens

T xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I really wish I didn't get upset as i know it's pathetic but the occasional abusive messages do get me down.

I don't think I'm going to change as it's just me. I will just have to try to down a can of 'man up' next time it happens

T xx "

do the good messages boost you up and are they more prolific than the abusive ones?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I didn't get upset as i know it's pathetic but the occasional abusive messages do get me down.

I don't think I'm going to change as it's just me. I will just have to try to down a can of 'man up' next time it happens

T xx "

I take quite a long time to recover from a personal dig aimed at me. I did start to realise, I'm 50 percent temperamental, and 50 percent holding my tongue. Something I'd wished they'd have done to start with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I really wish I didn't get upset as i know it's pathetic but the occasional abusive messages do get me down.

I don't think I'm going to change as it's just me. I will just have to try to down a can of 'man up' next time it happens

T xx "

I can understand getting upset over abuse! Like I said, some are just crap at getting their point across and think abuse is the only way I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I didn't get upset as i know it's pathetic but the occasional abusive messages do get me down.

I don't think I'm going to change as it's just me. I will just have to try to down a can of 'man up' next time it happens

T xx

Hallelujah

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

"I really wish I didn't get upset as i know it's pathetic but the occasional abusive messages do get me down.

I don't think I'm going to change as it's just me. I will just have to try to down a can of 'man up' next time it happens

T xx

do the good messages boost you up and are they more prolific than the abusive ones?"

Oh hell yeah the nasty ones are really rare and we get lots of lovely ones. I should just take positive stuff from those i guess.

New year's fab resolution for me

T x

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

There are billions of people in this world and everyone an individual so why does anyone have to be the best bod, the best hair, eyes, arse etc etc, who cares if you are the tallest, smallest, fattest or thinnest, just get on with enjoying your life

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

"I really wish I didn't get upset as i know it's pathetic but the occasional abusive messages do get me down.

I don't think I'm going to change as it's just me. I will just have to try to down a can of 'man up' next time it happens

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Imagine that you have a pass to take any car you want at any time from any garage. You've got a porsche, and it breaks down. Are you going to fix it? No, you're going to get out and get a new one because you can.

This is what it's like for attractive women. They constantly receive attention, compliments and validation from men. There will always be a pool of men ready to meet them at a moments notice and so they can choose who they meet. Abundance mentality is in-born for them so having high standards only makes sense. You can't really get upset at a high value woman who deems you unattractive. It's life and there are a shit ton of women in the world, stop crying, go to the gym and liftbrah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Hilarious! Have you never read the forum? Plenty of women react badly too. I wouldn't say it was gender specific.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Hilarious! Have you never read the forum? Plenty of women react badly too. I wouldn't say it was gender specific. "

I said mostly. I'm sure some women get hurt but they're usually more civil about it.

Men can be such little bitches.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Hilarious! Have you never read the forum? Plenty of women react badly too. I wouldn't say it was gender specific.

I said mostly. I'm sure some women get hurt but they're usually more civil about it.

Men can be such little bitches. "

Even funnier!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I never bite in real life if someone has an opinion of me that isn't favourable. I'm sure as hell not going to bite here in the virtual world.

I see people get upset over discussions that if they over heard it down the pub would say fuck all about it and in fact probably see the humour that is often intended but mostly missed here.

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By *uicy72Woman
over a year ago

North Colchester

Well said OP XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I think we forget behind every profile is a person with a past,with their own lives,their fears and insecurities.

We all have them.

They often seem to get magnified here due to the nature of the site the fact that we all judge others on such limited information as we may know about them and through the prism of our own history and insecurities.

There is no right no wrong no good no bad. People are not so one dimensional yet because this is a swingers site even so much of the forums are painted in black or white.. best cock best tits etc.

This site it's like the real world everything is always shades of grey...sorry not intended as joke.. we all have those who we connect with, maybe even the instant attractions, and those who we may not, or may not notice. Sometimes we may even miss those who could be a slow burn because the rush to judge at a superficial level when with some it takes more time more trust more interaction

We are the people we are emotional it's part of out DNA sometimes unsure sometimes angry sometimes dismissive. It's called being human.

Perhaps here of all places we need to remember both our own and other people's humanity a little more kindly....

And trust others will treat us in the same way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People say nasty things too others too make themselves feel better as have real hangs-up themselves in life. .. When you call someone “fat” “chubby” or “ugly”, you are not really saying something about that person. You are revealing something about yourself. You are saying this person intimates me so I am going to insult them or I’m going to insult this person to make myself feel better briefly. Its nasty. Op be true too yourself and live life for you and don't ever let them nasty people get you down with there words. xx As they win if you do ... xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes I think we forget behind every profile is a person with a past,with their own lives,their fears and insecurities.

We all have them.

There is no right no wrong no good no bad. People are not so one dimensional yet because this is a swingers site even so much of the forums are painted in black or white.. best cock best tits etc.

We are the people we are emotional it's part of out DNA sometimes unsure sometimes angry sometimes dismissive. It's called being human.

Perhaps here of all places we need to remember both our own and other people's humanity a little more kindly....

And trust others will treat us in the same way...

This...nice thought out post mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with you Op words on a screen by random people mean nothing"

Yup, I got a bit of a nasty message yesterday cause of one of my threads, people do struggle with self control and just have to have their say, and don’t care how abusive they are as long as they get to say it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Hilarious! Have you never read the forum? Plenty of women react badly too. I wouldn't say it was gender specific. "

Yep, just read the latest BBW thread!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Hilarious! Have you never read the forum? Plenty of women react badly too. I wouldn't say it was gender specific.

Yep, just read the latest BBW thread!"

That is what made me start this thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Hilarious! Have you never read the forum? Plenty of women react badly too. I wouldn't say it was gender specific.

Yep, just read the latest BBW thread!

That is what made me start this thread!

I don't mind anyone who says they're not into bigger women. Just don't start harping on about my health or being a twat about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"People say nasty things too others too make themselves feel better as have real hangs-up themselves in life. .. When you call someone “fat” “chubby” or “ugly”, you are not really saying something about that person. You are revealing something about yourself. You are saying this person intimates me so I am going to insult them or I’m going to insult this person to make myself feel better briefly. Its nasty. Op be true too yourself and live life for you and don't ever let them nasty people get you down with there words. xx As they win if you do ... xx"

Oh trust me...I pay no heed to people with shitty attitudes about other peoples appearance, especially mine...I wouldn't look like this if I did!

I am fat...babies are chubby..these are discriptive terms...ugly is just a horrible word used by horrible people when used as a term about looks as it is rarely looks that makes someone ugly...and just because someone finds me unattractive doesn't mean I am ugly...alot of men on here don't get that...have often seen on the forums, guys saying they must be ugly because nobody wants to meet them...nope...it doesn't mean that at all...it just means the people you have messaged may not be attracted to you...but there will always be someone that will be. The ugly ones are usually the ones that get abusive towards people too, I think

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's mostly men that get upset about it.

Hilarious! Have you never read the forum? Plenty of women react badly too. I wouldn't say it was gender specific.

Yep, just read the latest BBW thread!

That is what made me start this thread!

I don't mind anyone who says they're not into bigger women. Just don't start harping on about my health or being a twat about it

Yes! Honesty does not require faux justification!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are just knobs Ariel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"......,It's life and there are a shit ton of women in the world, stop crying, go to the gym and liftbrah. "

That last line tho’ .... cold!

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Some people are just plain nasty and attitudes stink worse than the piece of camembert in my fridge.. and believe me, that stinks like shit! Dunno how anyone can eat nasty soft French cheeses...

Sorry.. rambling again..

Ignore snide or rude comments and ignore the idiots and pay no heed to it..

They are the ones with the insecurities and invariably are jealous of those whose confidence is apparent...

Remember, you are far better than they are..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hypocrisy is rife

You got to love this place

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple
over a year ago

st helens

"I never bite in real life if someone has an opinion of me that isn't favourable. I'm sure as hell not going to bite here in the virtual world.

I see people get upset over discussions that if they over heard it down the pub would say fuck all about it and in fact probably see the humour that is often intended but mostly missed here."

British humour is lost in text and easily mistaken for venom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They don't know you.

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