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"From friendships that no longer satisfy us? I have just told my so called "best friend" what I think. She doesn't want to spend any time with me! We see each other once every couple of months - only for a quick lunch and she doesn't understand me at all. I won't bore you all with the details - but I feel really sad I obviously think more of her than she does of me. I'm so tired of feeling ignored. She was my last old friend left in my area. Time to relocate I think " Yorkshire is nice... | |||
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"My closest friend I see twice a year, once in the summer and again just before Xmas, we have a meal and a fair few drinks and put the world to rights, we keep in touch via txt and Facebook throughout the year, you don’t have to see them face to face to remain friends." Im the same | |||
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"I've realised that locality and respect is rare. I get hurt because I expect people to care as much as I do. Sadly they don't. " Agree in all aspects of relationships x storm x | |||
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"From friendships that no longer satisfy us? I have just told my so called "best friend" what I think. She doesn't want to spend any time with me! We see each other once every couple of months - only for a quick lunch and she doesn't understand me at all. I won't bore you all with the details - but I feel really sad I obviously think more of her than she does of me. I'm so tired of feeling ignored. She was my last old friend left in my area. Time to relocate I think " Relationships take effort and input. As said by others it doesn't mean you have to see each other all the time, but you have to want to *be* with the person when you do meet. It's difficult when that level of want is unbalanced, whether in romantic or platonic relationships. But also no one owes you a friendship or an investment either, that's the tricky thing -- so pulling someone up on lack of effort (of course I've no idea how you told your friend so this many not apply) isn't necessarily the way to remedy things. Sometimes people just outgrow each other, for a period or forever. What is important is not putting your all on one person (again, not saying you're doing that either) but investing in a selection of friendships for different reasons and times in your life. You being happy and meeting people and having fun takes pressure off a faltering relationship and may actually remedy it and reignite it, or make the occasional times of seeing them better and more meaningful, or ease the slipping away of it if that's what happens. | |||
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"I have a habit of just cutting people out of my life who I don't think fit in my life. I'm not sure it's a healthy thing to do, but it makes me happy. I've been told by family that it makes me cold, emotionless in a way. But in my opinion it makes my life simpler and happier. I say do what makes you happy when it comes to the reltionships in your life. " The word congruence comes to mind, with that come trust and respect, well in my world.... | |||
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"From friendships that no longer satisfy us? I have just told my so called "best friend" what I think. She doesn't want to spend any time with me! We see each other once every couple of months - only for a quick lunch and she doesn't understand me at all. I won't bore you all with the details - but I feel really sad I obviously think more of her than she does of me. I'm so tired of feeling ignored. She was my last old friend left in my area. Time to relocate I think " I know exactly how you feel. | |||
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"I have a habit of just cutting people out of my life who I don't think fit in my life. I'm not sure it's a healthy thing to do, but it makes me happy. I've been told by family that it makes me cold, emotionless in a way. But in my opinion it makes my life simpler and happier. I say do what makes you happy when it comes to the reltionships in your life. " Im so like that.... you are the first person that i have come across that openly admits to this. Mr... x | |||
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"I think she doesn't feel the same way because she has a BF and a family. Where as I don't have any family left and I'm single - so I guess I've got more time on my hands. I just want to be friends with people that are on the same page. I'm tired of spending weekends alone " This is exactly how I feel, it’s shit | |||
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"I think she doesn't feel the same way because she has a BF and a family. Where as I don't have any family left and I'm single - so I guess I've got more time on my hands. I just want to be friends with people that are on the same page. I'm tired of spending weekends alone " Have you had a conversation with her about how your are feeling, how you see the friendship has gone? | |||
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"I have a habit of just cutting people out of my life who I don't think fit in my life. I'm not sure it's a healthy thing to do, but it makes me happy. I've been told by family that it makes me cold, emotionless in a way. But in my opinion it makes my life simpler and happier. I say do what makes you happy when it comes to the reltionships in your life. Im so like that.... you are the first person that i have come across that openly admits to this. Mr... x" This is also me. I cut any negativity out of my life as I don't want to feel dragged down. If I feel I'm having to make the effort & the conversation is constantly one sided then they have to go. I do this with relationships too sadly! | |||
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"I have a habit of just cutting people out of my life who I don't think fit in my life. I'm not sure it's a healthy thing to do, but it makes me happy. I've been told by family that it makes me cold, emotionless in a way. But in my opinion it makes my life simpler and happier. I say do what makes you happy when it comes to the reltionships in your life. Im so like that.... you are the first person that i have come across that openly admits to this. Mr... x This is also me. I cut any negativity out of my life as I don't want to feel dragged down. If I feel I'm having to make the effort & the conversation is constantly one sided then they have to go. I do this with relationships too sadly! " I do this too! Mim | |||
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"I've realised that loyalty and respect is rare. I get hurt because I expect people to care as much as I do. Sadly they don't. Agree in all aspects of relationships x storm x " Some are just colder people, only wrapped up in there own world. | |||
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"I think she doesn't feel the same way because she has a BF and a family. Where as I don't have any family left and I'm single - so I guess I've got more time on my hands. I just want to be friends with people that are on the same page. I'm tired of spending weekends alone This is exactly how I feel, it’s shit " Yes I think it's difficult for people in relationships or who have kids to understand how much it matters that their friends without it need company. I like my own company- but I don't want to spend every weekend alone | |||
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"Like the seasons people come into our lives sometimes they stsy sometimed they go. Those that go may reappear we never know when or why. But whatever we shared with them always remains. Those that go allow time and space for new friends new hopes new dreams... Like the seasons all things must change... And change it's often good often what we need just at the time we need it. Follow your dreams OP and friends will follow you x" That sums it up perfectly | |||
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"I think she doesn't feel the same way because she has a BF and a family. Where as I don't have any family left and I'm single - so I guess I've got more time on my hands. I just want to be friends with people that are on the same page. I'm tired of spending weekends alone This is exactly how I feel, it’s shit Yes I think it's difficult for people in relationships or who have kids to understand how much it matters that their friends without it need company. I like my own company- but I don't want to spend every weekend alone " It is completely understandable why you are feeling shit about the situation however it is important not to look at it as though your friend has abandoned you or doesn`t care. I`m sure your friend understands that you are lonely but that doesn`t stop her having her own responsibility and obligations. If you need company then you must find someone, or something to do about it such as exploring a hobby, joining a club etc. Please don`t "blame" your friend for you being alone. We are responsible for our own happiness and i will be honest, if someone demanded time i didn`t have and tried to make me feel guilty for their loneliness i would take offense. I would also feel more of a "crutch" than a friend, esp if they placed their wants higher than my responsibilities. Obviously i dont know the specifics about your situation so only you know if your friend is being selfish or not. One thing i do know is that it is very easy to take things to heart when you are feeling down and end up in situations we regret. Falling out with your friend really is the opposite of what you need if you don`t want to be lonely. You need to find more friends, not cut out the ones you have already. Of course if they aren`t actually a good friend (i.e. someone you can trust, or count on in an emegency etc) then cutting them out may be the best option. Nobody needs toxic people in their life but remember, none of us are perfect and circumstances dictate. If your friend is genuniely busy then maybe you can find a way to help her spend time with you. Rather than just meeting up for coffee or a night out, change your routine so that you can go to the supermaket together or offer to help her with decorating etc etc. You get company and it might free up time for her to met up with you more often. | |||
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"I am there for all my friends when they need me. The same can not be said for all of them. Probably only 1 I could count on. That said I still call the others my friends. Just don't rely on them." I believe there should be more than one word for friends. There are the do or die friends who are there for each other for life. And the ones who come and go. 'Chums' doesn't sum it up enough though | |||
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" I think it's difficult for people in relationships or who have kids to understand how much it matters that their friends without it need company. I like my own company- but I don't want to spend every weekend alone " See, I find the flip side. Just because we have a family doesn't mean we want to be alone with them always. I know kids can be hard work, but showing an occasional interest is nice. And if you don't, the spending time in with us alone is always fun. I found having kids makes you lonely in a different way x Tricky x | |||
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"I am there for all my friends when they need me. The same can not be said for all of them. Probably only 1 I could count on. That said I still call the others my friends. Just don't rely on them. I believe there should be more than one word for friends. There are the do or die friends who are there for each other for life. And the ones who come and go. 'Chums' doesn't sum it up enough though " I call them `mates` but I think acquaintances is a maybe a better word. Friends should be for meaningful relationships. People you can trust and that care about each other. | |||
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"I am there for all my friends when they need me. The same can not be said for all of them. Probably only 1 I could count on. That said I still call the others my friends. Just don't rely on them. I believe there should be more than one word for friends. There are the do or die friends who are there for each other for life. And the ones who come and go. 'Chums' doesn't sum it up enough though I call them `mates` but I think acquaintances is a maybe a better word. Friends should be for meaningful relationships. People you can trust and that care about each other. " I am not sure whether calling them friends, mates or chums matters. But I agree theres a difference between the transient ones and the friends for life. Weirdly the one person I can count on I have only known for 4 years. Yrust her implicitly. My oldest friends no way would I trust to the same extent. Yet i carry one of them's biggest secret to the grave. | |||
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"From friendships that no longer satisfy us? I have just told my so called "best friend" what I think. She doesn't want to spend any time with me! We see each other once every couple of months - only for a quick lunch and she doesn't understand me at all. I won't bore you all with the details - but I feel really sad I obviously think more of her than she does of me. I'm so tired of feeling ignored. She was my last old friend left in my area. Time to relocate I think " Come to Margate. I'll happily be a friend | |||
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"Some people just end up being hideous. True story " Some people just want you for their own means or amusement. When there is nothing else to fill the time, you are the one constant who will answer the phone but ultimately you will end up being the one dropped like a hot coal when things are dreamy in their world. | |||
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