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Moral Dilemma

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A young(ish) couple got in touch with me earlier and i was talking to the female. She said she loved my pics and would love to meet. I said i dont play with couples and the reply i got was my bf is at work tonight. I asked if he would be ok with us playing and she said he wouldn't know. Now while this might not bother many blokes on here that just seems like plain cheating which is not something i do or get involved in. What do you people think? And would you blokes who post on here go shag her regardless?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooh that's dangerous ground to walk on.......I think your wise to give it a miss, it is cheating. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how hot is she

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"how hot is she "
I'm not gonna lie mate, she's pretty hot. But i could never bring myself to do anything like that (i think) The guilt would just eat away at me, like it did with Macbeth. And we all know how that story ends lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems to me you didn’t have a dilemma,,,,, you’d already made the right decision.. Which to my mind wasn’t even a decision that needed consideration…

But hey ,,,,,Your gonna feel gutted about it later tonight though…. Ha-ha….. only kidding fella…. Seriously man, you made a good call

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if it isnt u it`ll be somebody else.

its ur call mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been approached as a couple by single men and women looking to play away ... We have a rule that we won't be the 'other person / people'...

Too much potential for complications...

We haven't been with a couple yet who permit the other to play alone... Cross that bridge and all that...

You made the right decision... good on you - some men wouldn't have thought twice...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if it isnt u it`ll be somebody else.its ur call mate "
Tbh think i would prefer it to be someone else. What goes around comes around, and i don't need the Karma train hitting me anytime soon lol. She say's she's asked her bf and he says it's ok. But i'm not sure weather to believe her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if it isnt u it`ll be somebody else.its ur call mate

Tbh think i would prefer it to be someone else. What goes around comes around, and i don't need the Karma train hitting me anytime soon lol. She say's she's asked her bf and he says it's ok. But i'm not sure weather to believe her?"

trust yr instincts....sounds dodgy to me..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ooh that's dangerous ground to walk on.......I think your wise to give it a miss, it is cheating. xx"

+1

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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago

Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree


" She say's she's asked her bf and he says it's ok. But i'm not sure weather to believe her?"

The only way to make sure is ask to speak to him on the telephone and confirm that he is happy with the situation. Of course, you could end up speaking to any Tom, Dick or Harry that she's convinced to pretend to be her boyfriend.

Personally I would steer clear.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"if it isnt u it`ll be somebody else.its ur call mate

Tbh think i would prefer it to be someone else. What goes around comes around, and i don't need the Karma train hitting me anytime soon lol. She say's she's asked her bf and he says it's ok. But i'm not sure weather to believe her?"

Ask if you can speak to him on the phone.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"if it isnt u it`ll be somebody else.its ur call mate

Tbh think i would prefer it to be someone else. What goes around comes around, and i don't need the Karma train hitting me anytime soon lol. She say's she's asked her bf and he says it's ok. But i'm not sure weather to believe her?"

You could ask to speak to him on the phone ... the problem being there's no way of ensuring it's actually him and not some male accomplice helping her to achieve what she wants. There are other attractive women - you're a good looking guy (the part I can see anyway lol). You'll have plenty of opportunities to meet single ladies who don't have baggage.

E x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id wanna speak to HER on the phone to make sure she aint a dude lol

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"id wanna speak to HER on the phone to make sure she aint a dude lol "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i`d take her word for it

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

I don't see the dilemma! You have already decided not to meet so that's done! Must say though, with the number of people on this site that either think cheating is OK, or that think it is none of their busness, I am surprised you haven't been told that it's up to you! Or even "go for it"...

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the feedback peeps, they have a few verifications on there profile which i have read so i think they are gen. I've asked for her num so we'll just see what happens. But will only meet as long as they are both comfortable with the situation, which i can't see happening lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people are on here for uncomplicated nsa sex, this has already caused you a complication in having to ponder this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have such double standards on this.. I find it amusing if someone contacts me and thinks I will cheat.. we have gone as far as to tell him yes okay..

Of course Master knew everything lol

But I decided I didnt want to meet him...

but I have also refused often to meet half of a couple when its obviously behind the others back.. yet all my regulars are married men... go figure on my logic there..

But...I figure if you have to ask you already know the answer.

cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for all the feedback peeps, they have a few verifications on there profile which i have read so i think they are gen. I've asked for her num so we'll just see what happens. But will only meet as long as they are both comfortable with the situation, which i can't see happening lol"

I think you know what the answer is. If you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. Simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pot noodle and a wank time for you...

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Thanks for all the feedback peeps, they have a few verifications on there profile which i have read so i think they are gen. I've asked for her num so we'll just see what happens. But will only meet as long as they are both comfortable with the situation, which i can't see happening lol

I think you know what the answer is. If you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. Simples."

Agree with PP...For me personally if there is an uncomfortable feeling ... a doubt.. it is best not to. But other people might feel different?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't do it, keep out of it, if he finds out, you will get a mouthful as well as her, you have no idea what he would do if he found out and you are helping her cheat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well it's irrelevant now as when i asked for her number she deleted my mail! Probably thought she couldn't pull the wool over my eyes or she had a conscience (which i doubt) Probs for the best because it all seemed very dodgy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it's irrelevant now as when i asked for her number she deleted my mail! Probably thought she couldn't pull the wool over my eyes or she had a conscience (which i doubt) Probs for the best because it all seemed very dodgy. "

If it happens again don't even go there mate it's never worth it xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If it happens again don't even go there mate it's never worth it xx "
Too true, she was trying to say that her bf was at work and he said it was ok. But when i asked for the num she just deleted the message. I would never want to get involved in cheating, wanted to hear what other people would do in my situation and was pretty impressed with peoples replies saying they wouldn't have anything to do with it. On a site like this i didn't think people would be that bothered, glad i was wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it happens again don't even go there mate it's never worth it xx

Too true, she was trying to say that her bf was at work and he said it was ok. But when i asked for the num she just deleted the message. I would never want to get involved in cheating, wanted to hear what other people would do in my situation and was pretty impressed with peoples replies saying they wouldn't have anything to do with it.

On a site like this i didn't think people would be that bothered, glad i was wrong "

Put it this way I trust my partner with my life but the only thing I ask of her is that she is faithful to the love side of our relationship if she let me down by seeing someone behind my back I would be gutted to say the least

Trust and honesty mean everything ta me xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Trust and honesty mean everything ta me xx"
I'm the same mate, it was never the repercussions that bothered me, it's the moral side of it. If i had a partner who i loved and she cheated on me i would be devastated, i would never want to be responsible for putting anyone through all that pain and misery. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is a rule i live by

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Had to put a block on single guys, i don't get any messages from women and LOADS from single guys?! I'll take the block off as i'm getting bored of not having many mails to open haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't see what the problem is. When I met, I met for fun. I wanted uncomplicated nsa.

Asking strangers their opinion and suffering angst over a meet doesn't seem like fun to me. With the amount of single people on site never saw the need for "OPP".

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey! "

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!"

We all have our own moral compass. When I played I had on my profile no married men. Invariably married people feel the need to justify why they seek solace elsewhere. Why spoil my fun with their problems?

I'm not a counselor, simple, single, uncomplicated suits me fine. What others choose to do...bully for them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am part of a couple on here, we have an open marriage, i meet guys on my own for fun..My husband has his own profile on here..

We have each others consent to have fun with other people, but it is funny how many people on here believe that this is wrong & that we are actually cheating on each other..My question is "how do you know if a single person is truly single" not everyone is so honest on here, chances are you might end up meeting an attached singleton at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's hot, you fancy her, she fancies you, her b/f says it's ok.

Wtf are you waiting for!! Get in there man!!

Even if she hasn't told him, her relationship is her business. He might have cheated on her and this is payback time, whatever. Never pass up a really hot shag!!

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!"

And of course this is the other side of the coin! Brain in knob and it's a shag, aint it?

What does it matter why she wanted to cheat? Surely that serves no one any good! Perhaps she should put as much into trying to sort her relationship out as she does into mailing randome males for sex?

If she can't be honest with her partner, how is she going to be honest with you! But what you are saying is that you don't care if she can live with it. OK until you are on the receiving end of the cheat!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I don't see the dilemma! You have already decided not to meet so that's done! Must say though, with the number of people on this site that either think cheating is OK, or that think it is none of their busness, I am surprised you haven't been told that it's up to you! Or even "go for it"...

"

Saying other peoples lives isn't anyone else's buisness but their own is totally different to saying cheating is ok.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP...it looks like you had nearly made your mind up what you were doing , but in these situations it is only you who can decide anyway.

We personally wouldn't get involved, as we never meet one half a couple anyway, even if they have permission and can prove it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" She say's she's asked her bf and he says it's ok. But i'm not sure weather to believe her?

The only way to make sure is ask to speak to him on the telephone and confirm that he is happy with the situation. Of course, you could end up speaking to any Tom, Dick or Harry that she's convinced to pretend to be her boyfriend.

Personally I would steer clear."

+1

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!

And of course this is the other side of the coin! Brain in knob and it's a shag, aint it?

What does it matter why she wanted to cheat? Surely that serves no one any good! Perhaps she should put as much into trying to sort her relationship out as she does into mailing randome males for sex?

If she can't be honest with her partner, how is she going to be honest with you! But what you are saying is that you don't care if she can live with it. OK until you are on the receiving end of the cheat! "

I think if you read my post that you will find that I was not defending her actions. Nor was I saying that it is right to go behind ones partners back. But simply that the "cheating is weong on any level" attitude is based on assumptions that one doesn't have enough information to make and is unhealthily judgemental. It is rarely as simple as right or wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads of couples play alone and grant permission i dont see a prob with it if you get the ok from him

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Get the boyfriend to fax you a signed release form.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/09/11 09:49:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!

And of course this is the other side of the coin! Brain in knob and it's a shag, aint it?

What does it matter why she wanted to cheat? Surely that serves no one any good! Perhaps she should put as much into trying to sort her relationship out as she does into mailing randome males for sex?

If she can't be honest with her partner, how is she going to be honest with you! But what you are saying is that you don't care if she can live with it. OK until you are on the receiving end of the cheat!

I think if you read my post that you will find that I was not defending her actions. Nor was I saying that it is right to go behind ones partners back. But simply that the "cheating is weong on any level" attitude is based on assumptions that one doesn't have enough information to make and is unhealthily judgemental. It is rarely as simple as right or wrong."

I would disagree with that, we can all find excuses as to why we may cheat and give a very good argument for those reasons, but it is fundamentally wrong.

If you have a partners permission to play then that is not cheating.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!

And of course this is the other side of the coin! Brain in knob and it's a shag, aint it?

What does it matter why she wanted to cheat? Surely that serves no one any good! Perhaps she should put as much into trying to sort her relationship out as she does into mailing randome males for sex?

If she can't be honest with her partner, how is she going to be honest with you! But what you are saying is that you don't care if she can live with it. OK until you are on the receiving end of the cheat!

I think if you read my post that you will find that I was not defending her actions. Nor was I saying that it is right to go behind ones partners back. But simply that the "cheating is weong on any level" attitude is based on assumptions that one doesn't have enough information to make and is unhealthily judgemental. It is rarely as simple as right or wrong.

I would disagree with that, we can all find excuses as to why we may cheat and give a very good argument for those reasons, but it is fundamentally wrong.

If you have a partners permission to play then that is not cheating."

I am not saying its right what I am saying is that its not as simple as right or wrong , fundamentally or otherwise. Seeing things as black or white seldom gives a true picture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!

And of course this is the other side of the coin! Brain in knob and it's a shag, aint it?

What does it matter why she wanted to cheat? Surely that serves no one any good! Perhaps she should put as much into trying to sort her relationship out as she does into mailing randome males for sex?

If she can't be honest with her partner, how is she going to be honest with you! But what you are saying is that you don't care if she can live with it. OK until you are on the receiving end of the cheat!

I think if you read my post that you will find that I was not defending her actions. Nor was I saying that it is right to go behind ones partners back. But simply that the "cheating is weong on any level" attitude is based on assumptions that one doesn't have enough information to make and is unhealthily judgemental. It is rarely as simple as right or wrong.

I would disagree with that, we can all find excuses as to why we may cheat and give a very good argument for those reasons, but it is fundamentally wrong.

If you have a partners permission to play then that is not cheating.

I am not saying its right what I am saying is that its not as simple as right or wrong , fundamentally or otherwise. Seeing things as black or white seldom gives a true picture."

Guess we will just have to agree to disagree!

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"

Of course cheating is wrong on any level, especially when it is being done to you. So I admire your stance and just wish others on here would make that stand for decency. Well done matey!

This is a stance that is commonly aired on here and is one that I can't agree with. It is rarely as simple as "cheating" there are often many circumstances none of us can be aware of that would cause someone to step outside of a relationship. I'm not saying that is the case here and indeed I applaud the OPs decision I just think that the Judgemental attitude of many folk on here is not a healthy one.

Blue touchpaper lit stands back ready for onslaught!

And of course this is the other side of the coin! Brain in knob and it's a shag, aint it?

What does it matter why she wanted to cheat? Surely that serves no one any good! Perhaps she should put as much into trying to sort her relationship out as she does into mailing randome males for sex?

If she can't be honest with her partner, how is she going to be honest with you! But what you are saying is that you don't care if she can live with it. OK until you are on the receiving end of the cheat!

I think if you read my post that you will find that I was not defending her actions. Nor was I saying that it is right to go behind ones partners back. But simply that the "cheating is weong on any level" attitude is based on assumptions that one doesn't have enough information to make and is unhealthily judgemental. It is rarely as simple as right or wrong.

I would disagree with that, we can all find excuses as to why we may cheat and give a very good argument for those reasons, but it is fundamentally wrong.

If you have a partners permission to play then that is not cheating.

I am not saying its right what I am saying is that its not as simple as right or wrong , fundamentally or otherwise. Seeing things as black or white seldom gives a true picture.

Guess we will just have to agree to disagree!"

Looks that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A young(ish) couple got in touch with me earlier and i was talking to the female. She said she loved my pics and would love to meet. I said i dont play with couples and the reply i got was my bf is at work tonight. I asked if he would be ok with us playing and she said he wouldn't know. Now while this might not bother many blokes on here that just seems like plain cheating which is not something i do or get involved in. What do you people think? And would you blokes who post on here go shag her regardless?"

Get her to square it with him and then come to you its up to her then if she does, says she does or gives it a miss. I wouldn't knowingly play without his knowledge as its not fair on him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe im old n cynical but what if it was a set up?

what if the guy did know about it and they were playing with you,,,not the 1st time this has happened?

im married and we also play alone,,,cant tell you the amount of guys that ask if my hubby knows and when i say yes they say,,oh? as if its a shock?

congrats to you for sayn no and sticking to your guns alot of guys wouldnt,

auds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think the simple 'litmus' test is if you were her other half and became aware of her antics 'after the event' how would you feel ?

i am guessing pretty shit ?

the fact that they have sat down as a couple and discussed the sexual part of their relationship (to the degree where they have joined this site as a couple) is a positive thing and demonstrates a level of trust and openness in the relationship that most couples can only ever dream of.

the fact she then wants to go further than that is imho a slap in the face to any trust and openness that does exist.

if she was on here as a single girl and you met her being unaware of her true status then that's one thing.

the fact she is on here as part of a couple but has a secondary agenda completely changes the dynamics of any potential meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A young(ish) couple got in touch with me earlier and i was talking to the female. She said she loved my pics and would love to meet. I said i dont play with couples and the reply i got was my bf is at work tonight. I asked if he would be ok with us playing and she said he wouldn't know. Now while this might not bother many blokes on here that just seems like plain cheating which is not something i do or get involved in. What do you people think? And would you blokes who post on here go shag her regardless?"

Respect to the OP for having high moral standards, I too would leave well alone - sounds like cheating to me pure and simple!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A young(ish) couple got in touch with me earlier and i was talking to the female. She said she loved my pics and would love to meet. I said i dont play with couples and the reply i got was my bf is at work tonight. I asked if he would be ok with us playing and she said he wouldn't know. Now while this might not bother many blokes on here that just seems like plain cheating which is not something i do or get involved in. What do you people think? And would you blokes who post on here go shag her regardless?

Respect to the OP for having high moral standards, I too would leave well alone - sounds like cheating to me pure and simple!

"

I would suggest the same. Thee are lots of other people here to have fun with who are being honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it's irrelevant now as when i asked for her number she deleted my mail! Probably thought she couldn't pull the wool over my eyes or she had a conscience (which i doubt) Probs for the best because it all seemed very dodgy. "

Maybe she reads the Forums mate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey I'm amazed at some of the answers on this thread

Trust is paramount to me personally xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally would never play with anyone who i know is cheating

Saying that im sure in club i have without knowing they are married

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

That's the thing isn't it....it's one thing knowing the background of a person you meet, then you can make an informed decision, but if you are in a club or at a party and a hunk takes your fancy....there often isn't time for too much in depth small talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am with Cali on the double standards. I won't meet other people's partners from the site, even if they have permission to play alone, yet I have no problem meeting married men. Not sure of my logic but that's my rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am with Cali on the double standards. I won't meet other people's partners from the site, even if they have permission to play alone, yet I have no problem meeting married men. Not sure of my logic but that's my rules."

i think that comes down to not getting any come back from them

If a guys meeting behind his wifes back the chancers are your never going to meet his mrs as she dont know about you

Where as if its the male half of a couple if things go wrong within the meet, ie she decides after shes not as compfy with him meeting you as she thought you would be etc you could get sragged into the middle of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are very probably right x

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

He might come home unexpectedly and give you a good hiding.. or her !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally would never play with anyone who i know is cheating

Saying that im sure in club i have without knowing they are married "

Or subconsciously chose to ignore it.

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