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Betrayed

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP   Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that?

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Cant say that I have.

But if it had happened like you describe to me.

All I could think to help me over it would be...."what a little person they must be to do that. Im better than that"

T

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

It's horrible and hurtful but you will recover - been there many times. Take support from us lot and never, ever ignore your gut instinct

Big hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God yes, I don't think you do get completely over it. It's a case of learning from it. I like to see the good in people so it just makes me put the barriers up higher. It just says more about them than you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have...not pleasant and everybody is different to how they react to something like that.

It happened years ago but has shaped my life greatly, both positively and negatively.

My attitude is you live and learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have...not pleasant and everybody is different to how they react to something like that.

It happened years ago but has shaped my life greatly, both positively and negatively.

My attitude is you live and learn."

Very true x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

Awww is a aweful feeling ..i dont know how one recovers tho it never kind of leaves you ..however the passage of time does make the blow somw what dull ...chin up big hug xx

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

I have and it's the worst feeling. I think the hardest part for me was the fact that I'd overridden what my instinct was telling me because of the trust I had in him. I'll never do that again, I'll always trust my gut. A lesson learned.

As for getting over it? Time mostly and realising if someone can choose to do that to you, they don't actually belong in your life at all.

Feel free to pm me if you need an ear

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Maybe trust yourself a bit more but don’t let the anger eat you up. You’re not the first person who’s been fooled, don’t be too hard on yourself

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I haven't thankfully. It sounds bloody awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

How do you get over that? "

Make sure that their moment of glory, is more important to them.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Yup.

I buried it deep for the last year and when they heard about my windfall they came begging. I then unleashed it all.

It surprisingly helped letting them have it both barrels and I’m now over it. But I could have done without it to be honest.

My advice would be to try and get over it ASAP rather than fester on it like me.

Surround yourself with good things and positive people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two people did this. The OH and the friend (who was with my best friend at the time).

I was so sour about it and I let it fester and it caused me issues in every relationship thereafter. It took time but I managed to learn from it all and time didn’t heal it but it made me love myself and trust in myself more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two people did this. The OH and the friend (who was with my best friend at the time).

I was so sour about it and I let it fester and it caused me issues in every relationship thereafter. It took time but I managed to learn from it all and time didn’t heal it but it made me love myself and trust in myself more. "

I can relate to that....it does take time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and it hurts.

No idea as still too raw for me.

Good luck.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

I'd just say time is what heals. Be kind to yourself and bottle nothing inside x

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

It happens, i have made the same mistakes ignoring it when i felt i couldnt trust someone, only now i feel i have learnt my lesson not to trust people too much. Over 20 years ago i stopped seeing a couple of members of my family mainly because she had been nasty to me, two faced acting nice in front of others. She contacted me and i started seeing them again and felt guilty because i hadnt been seeing them only as time went by i realised that she hadnt really changed, and he wasnt much better either. If they talk badly about others all the time even their own family then they will talk about you too.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

[Removed by poster at 02/10/17 08:48:09]

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I'm not sure it is possible to 'get over' every sort of betrayal. It's happened to me a few times - in different ways - and though time heals to the extent you never really deliberately think about it, those memories can sometimes be triggered spontaneously and the resultant feelings of having being used, treated with contempt and/or the utter unfairness/injustice involved can bring you down very low.

In those moments I try to put my faith in 'karma' as much as I can and hope that one day things will balance out in some way - they'll 'get theirs' though you also have to accept you might never know about that.

And trust your gut - if you're able to (sometimes circumstances make this very difficult) - we're basically animals and have instincts for a reason. The fact we also have speech, and reasoning, often means we can be persuaded otherwise and/or guilt tripped by people who only have *their* interests at heart.

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

I was told I was mad when I expressed my thoughts that my ex was cheating. A few months later I was proved right & it nearly killed me. I don't think you do get over it fully because it destroys a little part of you that can effect your future (in my case trust issues) but you put it behind you as best you can & move on.

For me Fab became a safe haven & I made lots of new contacts & friends. Then the ex & his new GF joined & I stopped posting from my single profile because she was digging with my previous meets to find out if my profile was me.

Luckily I met TH777 & he has restored my faith xx

B x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You live and learn and only time will help really .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully not, sounds awful poor you.

I think time in these instances, time is the healer ~ you're going to feel raw, hurt & probably bitter for a while x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "
with time and only if you feel you want to but although you can smooth it over... the cracks can still show through from time to time...

You have to really want to get over it though and honestly not sure you ever really 100% do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least now you know more than ever that you can trust your gut instinct.

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By *imonP23Man
over a year ago

Shepton Mallet

Yes, I know how that feels. I was scammed out of £900 by someone I regarded as a friend (a loan she never repaid: when I tried to find out why not, she went mental, denied that she owed me money, accused me of being a "stalker", and threatened to wreck my family by calling the police).

That hurt on so many levels: the betrayal, the false allegation, and the massive hole in my bank account! I'm fairly sure she was certifiably insane, possibly due to a cancer scare. If that was genuine, she might be dead by now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

Yes, I've been there. It's a horrible feeling when you start to trust someone and let them into your heart and then they shit all over you with endless lies and bollocks. I guess I knew all the long that it was all rubbish but foolishly I wanted to believe that he was "different" to the others as he assured me he was.

Time is the only thing that helps, along with a sense of relief that I am out of that damaging dynamic. As others have said, try not to fester, it doesn't help. A bit of therapeutic bitching is fine but talking about it non stop won't help. Walk away with your head held high and feel sorry for the fools that will be the next victim. Don't be drawn into playing their games.

Sending you hugs xxx

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

In so sorry you've had this happen. I'm currently having counselling due to the very same thing. Yes, there was more to it than the lies, the mental abuse has left it's mark that's for sure, but in a way I can handle that as it now gives me red flags to look out for so it doesn't happen again.

The gut instinct though, that's been the killer for me. When you know, and I mean KNOW you're right and that other person does everything in their power to convince you you're wrong/mistaken/crazy. They tell you it's time to go see the doctor because you're imagining things and they're worried your hormones maybe going crazy because you seem to overreact to everything.

You know you aren't. You can feel it.

I kicked him out (for about the 20th time of trying) and he just went. There was no fighting, no arguing. I got home from work and he was gone.

I had the happiest 15 months of my life, then it got destroyed.

The person he'd got with came to find me - not for anything other than to ask me questions about him (she was now seeing the evil/lying side)

She wasn't getting anything from me without answering my questions first. So.... first question - how long was it going on for before he left my house? 6 months. I was so relieved, it was the confirmation I needed that I COULD trust my gut after all.

The bit that I couldn't cope with....

Did he move straight in with you when he left? Yes, of course.

Why did he wait for me to kick him out, why didn't he just move in with you coz that's where he went anyway?

Because the plan was to make your life so miserable you either killed yourself or kicked him out, that way he could play the victim and nobody would suspect he'd been doing what he had. Everyone knows you're lovely and he didn't want to ruin his reputation down the pub.

So.. I now really struggle with trust. I still give it easily, but the first sign of anything that doesn't add up and I'm done. Even if it's a small oversight or mistake. I just can't handle it. Whoever it is, I cut them out of my life. It may be extreme and I'm aware of that, but it's self preservation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs to you as well, Peach!

And chocolate and wine xxxx

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"In so sorry you've had this happen. I'm currently having counselling due to the very same thing. Yes, there was more to it than the lies, the mental abuse has left it's mark that's for sure, but in a way I can handle that as it now gives me red flags to look out for so it doesn't happen again.

The gut instinct though, that's been the killer for me. When you know, and I mean KNOW you're right and that other person does everything in their power to convince you you're wrong/mistaken/crazy. They tell you it's time to go see the doctor because you're imagining things and they're worried your hormones maybe going crazy because you seem to overreact to everything.

You know you aren't. You can feel it.

I kicked him out (for about the 20th time of trying) and he just went. There was no fighting, no arguing. I got home from work and he was gone.

I had the happiest 15 months of my life, then it got destroyed.

The person he'd got with came to find me - not for anything other than to ask me questions about him (she was now seeing the evil/lying side)

She wasn't getting anything from me without answering my questions first. So.... first question - how long was it going on for before he left my house? 6 months. I was so relieved, it was the confirmation I needed that I COULD trust my gut after all.

The bit that I couldn't cope with....

Did he move straight in with you when he left? Yes, of course.

Why did he wait for me to kick him out, why didn't he just move in with you coz that's where he went anyway?

Because the plan was to make your life so miserable you either killed yourself or kicked him out, that way he could play the victim and nobody would suspect he'd been doing what he had. Everyone knows you're lovely and he didn't want to ruin his reputation down the pub.

So.. I now really struggle with trust. I still give it easily, but the first sign of anything that doesn't add up and I'm done. Even if it's a small oversight or mistake. I just can't handle it. Whoever it is, I cut them out of my life. It may be extreme and I'm aware of that, but it's self preservation. "

What a prize dick... and I'm being polite there! I will never understand how someone could get off on that. Grrr...

Glad you are in a happier place now, despite those trust issues being there - I can't blame you for those!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"In so sorry you've had this happen. I'm currently having counselling due to the very same thing. Yes, there was more to it than the lies, the mental abuse has left it's mark that's for sure, but in a way I can handle that as it now gives me red flags to look out for so it doesn't happen again.

The gut instinct though, that's been the killer for me. When you know, and I mean KNOW you're right and that other person does everything in their power to convince you you're wrong/mistaken/crazy. They tell you it's time to go see the doctor because you're imagining things and they're worried your hormones maybe going crazy because you seem to overreact to everything.

You know you aren't. You can feel it.

I kicked him out (for about the 20th time of trying) and he just went. There was no fighting, no arguing. I got home from work and he was gone.

I had the happiest 15 months of my life, then it got destroyed.

The person he'd got with came to find me - not for anything other than to ask me questions about him (she was now seeing the evil/lying side)

She wasn't getting anything from me without answering my questions first. So.... first question - how long was it going on for before he left my house? 6 months. I was so relieved, it was the confirmation I needed that I COULD trust my gut after all.

The bit that I couldn't cope with....

Did he move straight in with you when he left? Yes, of course.

Why did he wait for me to kick him out, why didn't he just move in with you coz that's where he went anyway?

Because the plan was to make your life so miserable you either killed yourself or kicked him out, that way he could play the victim and nobody would suspect he'd been doing what he had. Everyone knows you're lovely and he didn't want to ruin his reputation down the pub.

So.. I now really struggle with trust. I still give it easily, but the first sign of anything that doesn't add up and I'm done. Even if it's a small oversight or mistake. I just can't handle it. Whoever it is, I cut them out of my life. It may be extreme and I'm aware of that, but it's self preservation.

What a prize dick... and I'm being polite there! I will never understand how someone could get off on that. Grrr...

Glad you are in a happier place now, despite those trust issues being there - I can't blame you for those!"

Thank you, it's not even that it happened that has got me, it's the bit that he knowingly and purposely planned to make my life so awful I killed myself.... to save his reputation in a pub. That's evil beyond anything I can comprehend.

The gut instinct.... please please, I urge anyone who gets it - it doesn't come from nowhere, TRUST YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN YOU.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

yes I was only 17 at the time learnt a lot of lifes lessons at a young age...how do you get over it u have to for yourself or it will slowly eat u up inside

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"In so sorry you've had this happen. I'm currently having counselling due to the very same thing. Yes, there was more to it than the lies, the mental abuse has left it's mark that's for sure, but in a way I can handle that as it now gives me red flags to look out for so it doesn't happen again.

The gut instinct though, that's been the killer for me. When you know, and I mean KNOW you're right and that other person does everything in their power to convince you you're wrong/mistaken/crazy. They tell you it's time to go see the doctor because you're imagining things and they're worried your hormones maybe going crazy because you seem to overreact to everything.

You know you aren't. You can feel it.

I kicked him out (for about the 20th time of trying) and he just went. There was no fighting, no arguing. I got home from work and he was gone.

I had the happiest 15 months of my life, then it got destroyed.

The person he'd got with came to find me - not for anything other than to ask me questions about him (she was now seeing the evil/lying side)

She wasn't getting anything from me without answering my questions first. So.... first question - how long was it going on for before he left my house? 6 months. I was so relieved, it was the confirmation I needed that I COULD trust my gut after all.

The bit that I couldn't cope with....

Did he move straight in with you when he left? Yes, of course.

Why did he wait for me to kick him out, why didn't he just move in with you coz that's where he went anyway?

Because the plan was to make your life so miserable you either killed yourself or kicked him out, that way he could play the victim and nobody would suspect he'd been doing what he had. Everyone knows you're lovely and he didn't want to ruin his reputation down the pub.

So.. I now really struggle with trust. I still give it easily, but the first sign of anything that doesn't add up and I'm done. Even if it's a small oversight or mistake. I just can't handle it. Whoever it is, I cut them out of my life. It may be extreme and I'm aware of that, but it's self preservation.

What a prize dick... and I'm being polite there! I will never understand how someone could get off on that. Grrr...

Glad you are in a happier place now, despite those trust issues being there - I can't blame you for those!

Thank you, it's not even that it happened that has got me, it's the bit that he knowingly and purposely planned to make my life so awful I killed myself.... to save his reputation in a pub. That's evil beyond anything I can comprehend.

The gut instinct.... please please, I urge anyone who gets it - it doesn't come from nowhere, TRUST YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN YOU. "

That's the bit was was truly vile! Hope you have better people in your life now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Thank you, it's not even that it happened that has got me, it's the bit that he knowingly and purposely planned to make my life so awful I killed myself.... to save his reputation in a pub. That's evil beyond anything I can comprehend.

The gut instinct.... please please, I urge anyone who gets it - it doesn't come from nowhere, TRUST YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN YOU. "

Wow - what a prize asshole he was! Thankfully you are out of it now xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

A new patio.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think of all the things you love doing and take time for you and spoil yourself ... I think at times we think so much about others it get to us the crap and it takes over our life and we need to think more about our self so it don't get us down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In so sorry you've had this happen. I'm currently having counselling due to the very same thing. Yes, there was more to it than the lies, the mental abuse has left it's mark that's for sure, but in a way I can handle that as it now gives me red flags to look out for so it doesn't happen again.

The gut instinct though, that's been the killer for me. When you know, and I mean KNOW you're right and that other person does everything in their power to convince you you're wrong/mistaken/crazy. They tell you it's time to go see the doctor because you're imagining things and they're worried your hormones maybe going crazy because you seem to overreact to everything.

You know you aren't. You can feel it.

I kicked him out (for about the 20th time of trying) and he just went. There was no fighting, no arguing. I got home from work and he was gone.

I had the happiest 15 months of my life, then it got destroyed.

The person he'd got with came to find me - not for anything other than to ask me questions about him (she was now seeing the evil/lying side)

She wasn't getting anything from me without answering my questions first. So.... first question - how long was it going on for before he left my house? 6 months. I was so relieved, it was the confirmation I needed that I COULD trust my gut after all.

The bit that I couldn't cope with....

Did he move straight in with you when he left? Yes, of course.

Why did he wait for me to kick him out, why didn't he just move in with you coz that's where he went anyway?

Because the plan was to make your life so miserable you either killed yourself or kicked him out, that way he could play the victim and nobody would suspect he'd been doing what he had. Everyone knows you're lovely and he didn't want to ruin his reputation down the pub.

So.. I now really struggle with trust. I still give it easily, but the first sign of anything that doesn't add up and I'm done. Even if it's a small oversight or mistake. I just can't handle it. Whoever it is, I cut them out of my life. It may be extreme and I'm aware of that, but it's self preservation.

What a prize dick... and I'm being polite there! I will never understand how someone could get off on that. Grrr...

Glad you are in a happier place now, despite those trust issues being there - I can't blame you for those!

Thank you, it's not even that it happened that has got me, it's the bit that he knowingly and purposely planned to make my life so awful I killed myself.... to save his reputation in a pub. That's evil beyond anything I can comprehend.

The gut instinct.... please please, I urge anyone who gets it - it doesn't come from nowhere, TRUST YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN YOU. "

That'll be week 4

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

Being honest. its gonna be raw and hurt for a few days and you will get over it and you will bounce back but trusting people (its bloody hard) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe trust yourself a bit more but don’t let the anger eat you up. You’re not the first person who’s been fooled, don’t be too hard on yourself "

This. It's their fault not yours OP.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Have you ever been so betrayed by someone and then have them rub that betrayal in your face?

Someone who made you question your gut instinct but has now proven it was right?

How do you get over that? "

Betrayal always hurts, it is a real injury to the psyche. But if they were spiteful and vindictive to the extent that they wanted to add insult to injury by rubbing it in?? Well then you console yourself that you had a lucky escape from wasting more time on someone with a truly nasty character!!

Time heals - chin up, tits out - go find some hot tottie to console yourself with!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP   Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Thanks everyone for your support and for those who shared their own stories x

It's hard not to say too much and look like a bitter woman! I have always fallen on the relative anonymousness of the forums to air out problems and as a sounding board for problems etc.

You never fail me x

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"Thanks everyone for your support and for those who shared their own stories x

It's hard not to say too much and look like a bitter woman! I have always fallen on the relative anonymousness of the forums to air out problems and as a sounding board for problems etc.

You never fail me x "

As long as it helps, it is useful. As I said be kind to yourself x

(friendly hug)

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