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Single men/ Club / Etiquette

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What is the ettiquette for joining in sex please in :-

a) specific clubs

b) Your opinion led by your standards

c) Vanilla clubs / workplace / pub / work / life

Ta .... Im just failing to understand right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if a guys paid his entrance fee, hes allowed entry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if a guys paid his entrance fee, hes allowed entry "

what if he comes round the back door

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Fucks sake you two :P

Now answer the question ....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I have paid my entry fee and i would abide by the rules, I would play if invited to.

However, in an open room... dark room or room with window, I would use them and if people didn't like it... they can move to a private room.

The facilities are for all..... the rules applies to all.

I am surprised some people don't walk over the water in the jacuzzi to get out.

I am too shy to pick up in a pub

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

QUOTE:

'I am surprised some people don't walk over the water in the jacuzzi to get out.'

Can't think for laughing ......

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


" QUOTE:

'I am surprised some people don't walk over the water in the jacuzzi to get out.'

Can't think for laughing ......

"
Granny where is that quote from? I cant find it, but then i havent got my specs on....ta

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


" QUOTE:

'I am surprised some people don't walk over the water in the jacuzzi to get out.'

Can't think for laughing ......

Granny where is that quote from? I cant find it, but then i havent got my specs on....ta "

View sedded it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is club etiquette ?

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

As far as I'm concerned the same etiquette applies whether it is in a swingers club, pub, workplace, nightclub, or any other place. Treat people with respect.

In any swingers club personally I believe everyone should follow the same rules of etiquette, single men, single women and couples.

.

If you are invited to play, you can say yes or no.

.

Anyone can ask to play, and their request will be either accepted or rejected. If accepted, have fun , if rejected walk away.

.

In my opinion, even in open rooms people should either ask to join in or wait for an invitation. However if playing in open rooms one must accept that people are free to watch and wank if they want to. If you don't want to be watched, find a private room without a _iewing window. Those people who will happily play with anyone who wants to join in will make people aware of this....but always, if in doubt, ask.

.

If the door is closed to a private room it should be taken that the occupants want to play privately. If the door is left open, people can watch, but should ask or wait for an invitation to play before joining in.

Everyone should treat all others with respect at all times. Just because someone says no to playing with you doesn't give you the right to disrespect them and equally, just because someone asks to play with you doesn't give you the right to be rude or abusive because you don't want to play with them.

Well that's how I see things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chezza has it spot on...

Always ask before joining, don't get stroppy if refused, and have fun. I'm happy watching, but if I get the nod to come over, i'll join in...

As for going out normally, chatting and being polite, a bit of flirting and try to be sober enough to read the signs used to be the way to go lol

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If its an open room then everyone should wait for permission before joining in. Just because its an open room that anyone can touch without asking

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Thanks Chezz .... Sounds about right to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think respectful i have been brought up and will stay the same

a no is a no NOT a maybe

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

oo no ..... I disagree with one little part.....

Lets say ...... in a public room , two people are having sex....

Why can't an onlooker ASK to join in...

Why does all the 'power' lie with the people already having sex?

Surely it's okay to assume they want other people involved if they are in a public room.

I'd say JUST joining in without asking isn't on ...... but if everyone just stands and looks ?? bit of an imbalance there.

Come to think of it if I was going to be narked that someone asked to join in then i'd be in a private room.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if a guys paid his entrance fee, hes allowed entry

what if he comes round the back door "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

these clubs sound like funny places lol not my thang tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Come to think of it if I was going to be narked that someone asked to join in then i'd be in a private room."

Exactly, if you don't ask, you don't get.

If you don't want to be asked find a door with a lock....or stay at home.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

Surely it's okay to assume they want other people involved if they are in a public room.

I'd say JUST joining in without asking isn't on ...... but if everyone just stands and looks ?? bit of an imbalance there.

"

just going to chop this up a little because I wouldn't assume...

for example... say the couple are exhibitionist but don't play with someone else... obviously they are going to choose a public room....

or maybe they get turned on by watching others play (very soft swingers)..

see..it isn't always cut and dried... and the assumption "well they are in an open room therefore they must want others" is a dangerous assumption to make...

there is also a distinction between watching from a reasonable distance, and those who creep closer and closer till they are basically all around you and more or less getting in the way.....

because they happen to be playing with a certain single guy, it does not give others the green light to just jump in, and that is a lot of the problem that happens...

I have been in that situation and it can be intimidating.. and then I fully understand why they then take themselves off to a private room or the couples only..... and then i have seen other guys bitch and moan about it....

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington


"oo no ..... I disagree with one little part.....

Lets say ...... in a public room , two people are having sex....

Why can't an onlooker ASK to join in...

Why does all the 'power' lie with the people already having sex?

Surely it's okay to assume they want other people involved if they are in a public room.

I'd say JUST joining in without asking isn't on ...... but if everyone just stands and looks ?? bit of an imbalance there.

Come to think of it if I was going to be narked that someone asked to join in then i'd be in a private room."

oiiii,,,re-read it...I did say it was ok to ask...lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"As far as I'm concerned the same etiquette applies whether it is in a swingers club, pub, workplace, nightclub, or any other place. Treat people with respect.

In any swingers club personally I believe everyone should follow the same rules of etiquette, single men, single women and couples.

.

If you are invited to play, you can say yes or no.

.

Anyone can ask to play, and their request will be either accepted or rejected. If accepted, have fun , if rejected walk away.

.

In my opinion, even in open rooms people should either ask to join in or wait for an invitation. However if playing in open rooms one must accept that people are free to watch and wank if they want to. If you don't want to be watched, find a private room without a _iewing window. Those people who will happily play with anyone who wants to join in will make people aware of this....but always, if in doubt, ask.

.

If the door is closed to a private room it should be taken that the occupants want to play privately. If the door is left open, people can watch, but should ask or wait for an invitation to play before joining in.

Everyone should treat all others with respect at all times. Just because someone says no to playing with you doesn't give you the right to disrespect them and equally, just because someone asks to play with you doesn't give you the right to be rude or abusive because you don't want to play with them.

Well that's how I see things "

me too x

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

K ......hold on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if i was in any doubt i would ask

better to be safe than sorry

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You only said it THREE times though ..

Im just not functioning this morning

Fuckin' Tesco.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

The last time I was playing in an open room, it was because there was no other room available.

That didn't mean anyone else was implicitly invited to join in.

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington


"You only said it THREE times though ..

Im just not functioning this morning

Fuckin' Tesco."

if you'd been at the beach party I would have said that you were still suffering from the after effects of the free punch.....it was mighty powerful stuff, lol

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"oo no ..... I disagree with one little part.....

Lets say ...... in a public room , two people are having sex....

Why can't an onlooker ASK to join in...

Why does all the 'power' lie with the people already having sex?

anyone can ask either the people having sex or the person watching. anyone can say no thanks.

Surely it's okay to assume they want other people involved if they are in a public room.

nooooo. that's like saying if your in a public room you don't mind if a bi lady joins in even if the couple playing aren't bi or that people in open rooms have no choice who they play with. Just cause your in an open room it doesn't make your body available foe anyone or everyone to play with. I don't meet men in the 50s plus but if your _iew applied it wouldn't make any difference as in an open room and anyone can join in.....or have I read your words wrong?

I'd say JUST joining in without asking isn't on ...... but if everyone just stands and looks ?? bit of an imbalance there.

Come to think of it if I was going to be narked that someone asked to join in then i'd be in a private room."

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

i stopped going to clubs on my own i can understand couples and singles ladies who see bad manners by some not very nice really Paul

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"i stopped going to clubs on my own i can understand couples and singles ladies who see bad manners by some not very nice really Paul"

Paul if you are in the bar chatting with couples and ladies then you will be doing it right,if your prowling then its not going to work. I think there are succesful men at clubs but only those that follow the rules and ask before joining in

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By *arkstaffsMan
over a year ago

Rugeley

Being polite and friendly has always been how I conduct myself in clubs. Even if I'm not invited to play, I just accept it with good manners.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"oo no ..... I disagree with one little part.....

Lets say ...... in a public room , two people are having sex....

Why can't an onlooker ASK to join in...

Why does all the 'power' lie with the people already having sex?

anyone can ask either the people having sex or the person watching. anyone can say no thanks.

Surely it's okay to assume they want other people involved if they are in a public room.

nooooo. that's like saying if your in a public room you don't mind if a bi lady joins in even if the couple playing aren't bi or that people in open rooms have no choice who they play with. Just cause your in an open room it doesn't make your body available foe anyone or everyone to play with. I don't meet men in the 50s plus but if your _iew applied it wouldn't make any difference as in an open room and anyone can join in.....or have I read your words wrong?

I'd say JUST joining in without asking isn't on ...... but if everyone just stands and looks ?? bit of an imbalance there.

Come to think of it if I was going to be narked that someone asked to join in then i'd be in a private room."

Yup. I was saying people should ask or be invited.

I don't get the you can watch but not ask argument that some quote

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

I never understand why people ever get narked as being asked .....'tis so easy to just say no thanks

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I love being watched in clubs behind the mirrors or whatever but can be nerving if it is suddenly crowded with lots of people trying to join in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oo no ..... I disagree with one little part.....

Lets say ...... in a public room , two people are having sex....

Why can't an onlooker ASK to join in...

Why does all the 'power' lie with the people already having sex?

anyone can ask either the people having sex or the person watching. anyone can say no thanks.

Surely it's okay to assume they want other people involved if they are in a public room.

nooooo. that's like saying if your in a public room you don't mind if a bi lady joins in even if the couple playing aren't bi or that people in open rooms have no choice who they play with. Just cause your in an open room it doesn't make your body available foe anyone or everyone to play with. I don't meet men in the 50s plus but if your _iew applied it wouldn't make any difference as in an open room and anyone can join in.....or have I read your words wrong?

I'd say JUST joining in without asking isn't on ...... but if everyone just stands and looks ?? bit of an imbalance there.

Come to think of it if I was going to be narked that someone asked to join in then i'd be in a private room.

Yup. I was saying people should ask or be invited.

I don't get the you can watch but not ask argument that some quote"

I tend to agree with this, if you are not in private and people are watching of course they are going to ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/08/11 13:31:37]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I never understand why people ever get narked as being asked .....'tis so easy to just say no thanks"

cause they may have elevated themselves to the realms of Brad and Angelina of swinging and everything is about them....

if you watch them, only admire and take no gratification from it.

if asked, bow and scrape your way to the end of the bed.

lol.... it is a OPEN room

now if they condomed up and said ... oi mate budge up I wanna have a go.. people may feel put out a tad.

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington


"I never understand why people ever get narked as being asked .....'tis so easy to just say no thanks

cause they may have elevated themselves to the realms of Brad and Angelina of swinging and everything is about them....

if you watch them, only admire and take no gratification from it.

if asked, bow and scrape your way to the end of the bed.

lol.... it is a OPEN room

now if they condomed up and said ... oi mate budge up I wanna have a go.. people may feel put out a tad."

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love being watched in clubs behind the mirrors or whatever but can be nerving if it is suddenly crowded with lots of people trying to join in"

can you tell me where you go..as I love this.. and it never happens at chams lol

Maybe Master sat there scares them off lol they just always ask Master first.

cali

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I never understand why people ever get narked as being asked .....'tis so easy to just say no thanks

cause they may have elevated themselves to the realms of Brad and Angelina of swinging and everything is about them....

if you watch them, only admire and take no gratification from it.

if asked, bow and scrape your way to the end of the bed.

lol.... it is a OPEN room

now if they condomed up and said ... oi mate budge up I wanna have a go.. people may feel put out a tad.

lol "

that happened to me in chams on sunday!!! guy was on the bed and getting the condom out of the packet before he even made eye contact with either of us!

now i am more than happy to be watched, have no problem with someone choosing a moment to make eye contact or ask, if others are playing on the same bed i take no offence at having my arm stroked, usually accompanied by a look... nudge nudge, wink wink all of this gives me and my playmates the chance to make a choice and to reply, perhaps with simply a nod or shake of the head, in a way which doesn't disturb the flow. but when i have to remove hands and mouths from my breasts and push cocks away from my face and pussy then i start to get annoyed and then i lose the buzz... and when the buzz is gone then the play won't last - no-one wins, no fun for me and my friends, no show for anyone else and definitely no chance for anyone else to join in

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

May a I propose a system of coloured flags.

Green flag: Join in

Red Flag: Go away you gimp

Brown Flag: In my bottom please

etc.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden


"I never understand why people ever get narked as being asked .....'tis so easy to just say no thanks

cause they may have elevated themselves to the realms of Brad and Angelina of swinging and everything is about them....

if you watch them, only admire and take no gratification from it.

if asked, bow and scrape your way to the end of the bed.

lol.... it is a OPEN room

now if they condomed up and said ... oi mate budge up I wanna have a go.. people may feel put out a tad."

Chezza & View

Not quite that cut and dried. Mrs R and I were at a club (a while ago I must add) and we were constantly bothered by a guy who would not take no for an answer even though we were not playing at the time.

Eventually we walked off and thought we had got rid of him! We went into a room through the dungeon area round the back of the couples only room and thought we were far enough away not to be bothered by him.

WRONG!

We were playing with each other and next thing we knew he was playing with Mrs R! He said he asked and as we didn't say no, he thought it was OK... We didn't hear him ask, but we were carried away just a little.

As an aside, when we spoke to the guy running the club, we were told it would be sorted. Next month, same thing! He is a mate of the guy who ran it!

So here is the thing. You are trying to have a sexy time and concentrate on pleasing your partner and a few guys ask to join in! Doesn't that kinda ruin the moment if you have to answer each one? It is nothing to do with thinking they are better than anyone else and I must say, I am surprised that you, _iew of all people can come out with such a "single guy statement"!

BUT... Chezza is correct with the etiquette in our book!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Obviously like life, Rumour there will be the exceptions...

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington


"I never understand why people ever get narked as being asked .....'tis so easy to just say no thanks

cause they may have elevated themselves to the realms of Brad and Angelina of swinging and everything is about them....

if you watch them, only admire and take no gratification from it.

if asked, bow and scrape your way to the end of the bed.

lol.... it is a OPEN room

now if they condomed up and said ... oi mate budge up I wanna have a go.. people may feel put out a tad.

Chezza & View

Not quite that cut and dried. Mrs R and I were at a club (a while ago I must add) and we were constantly bothered by a guy who would not take no for an answer even though we were not playing at the time.

Eventually we walked off and thought we had got rid of him! We went into a room through the dungeon area round the back of the couples only room and thought we were far enough away not to be bothered by him.

WRONG!

We were playing with each other and next thing we knew he was playing with Mrs R! He said he asked and as we didn't say no, he thought it was OK... We didn't hear him ask, but we were carried away just a little.

As an aside, when we spoke to the guy running the club, we were told it would be sorted. Next month, same thing! He is a mate of the guy who ran it!

So here is the thing. You are trying to have a sexy time and concentrate on pleasing your partner and a few guys ask to join in! Doesn't that kinda ruin the moment if you have to answer each one? It is nothing to do with thinking they are better than anyone else and I must say, I am surprised that you, _iew of all people can come out with such a "single guy statement"!

BUT... Chezza is correct with the etiquette in our book! "

As View rightly says, there will always be exceptions - and yes, I have had my share of people refusing to take no for an answer and believe me I have then left them in no doubt about my feelings.

However in the first instance, particularly in a swinging club (but to my mind no matter where) it is simple enough to just say "no thanks" without the need for rudeness.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

and I must say, I am surprised that you, _iew of all people can come out with such a "single guy statement"!

"

well I am a single guy but also someone who invested in a swingers club, so I have seen it from all angles... the club management side, the punters side, a single guys side. We were a club that only allowed couples & females... and we saw all sorts and ejected all sorts.

We relaxed the rule and allowed a single guy every night and in the months that I continued to be involved, thankfully had no problems at all.

I fully appreciate bigger and busier clubs will be different.

Very sorry to hear of your experience.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden


"I never understand why people ever get narked as being asked .....'tis so easy to just say no thanks

cause they may have elevated themselves to the realms of Brad and Angelina of swinging and everything is about them....

if you watch them, only admire and take no gratification from it.

if asked, bow and scrape your way to the end of the bed.

lol.... it is a OPEN room

now if they condomed up and said ... oi mate budge up I wanna have a go.. people may feel put out a tad.

Chezza & View

Not quite that cut and dried. Mrs R and I were at a club (a while ago I must add) and we were constantly bothered by a guy who would not take no for an answer even though we were not playing at the time.

Eventually we walked off and thought we had got rid of him! We went into a room through the dungeon area round the back of the couples only room and thought we were far enough away not to be bothered by him.

WRONG!

We were playing with each other and next thing we knew he was playing with Mrs R! He said he asked and as we didn't say no, he thought it was OK... We didn't hear him ask, but we were carried away just a little.

As an aside, when we spoke to the guy running the club, we were told it would be sorted. Next month, same thing! He is a mate of the guy who ran it!

So here is the thing. You are trying to have a sexy time and concentrate on pleasing your partner and a few guys ask to join in! Doesn't that kinda ruin the moment if you have to answer each one? It is nothing to do with thinking they are better than anyone else and I must say, I am surprised that you, _iew of all people can come out with such a "single guy statement"!

BUT... Chezza is correct with the etiquette in our book!

As View rightly says, there will always be exceptions - and yes, I have had my share of people refusing to take no for an answer and believe me I have then left them in no doubt about my feelings.

However in the first instance, particularly in a swinging club (but to my mind no matter where) it is simple enough to just say "no thanks" without the need for rudeness."

Agreed xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Chezza's statements too in that people should always ask. In a public room, it is not safe to assume that the couple want others to join in, they may be exhibitionists - we are. We go and play in public rooms all the time and only play with each other. The fact that others can see us is the pull, as being in a private room would be similar as being in our bedroom.

I completely accept that guys will ask to join in. Strangely guys tend to ask my OH if they can join in and not me. Other guys may stroke my arm or my hand, if I brush them off then they dont touch me anymore. If I leave it and they get bolder and move to my breast then that is ok, ive allowed it. They mustnt assume though that sex is on the cards. I dont have sex with loads of single guys, though I may allow oral sex. Never ever assume, always ask. If they didnt ask I would stop them if I didnt want it.

I think if the boundaries are clear, there is no uncertainty.

I was in the changing room at Chams at the party. I had changed into my corselette and pulled up my stockings and asked my friend to fasten them at the back for me. A woman came up and asked if I would allow her husband to help me dress, and I said yes, he could do up my stockings at the front. Now I didnt have any knickers on, and the corselette covered only half of my pussy. So when he got on his knees, his face was literally 6 inches away from my pussy and he had a full close up _iew. He just did the stockings up, because that was the agreement, he didnt attempt to touch me. And thats what guys should adhere to.

You have to give clear signals and guys need to pick up on clear signals and if in doubt never proceed until everyone is completely sure what is being offered.

I get so angry when I hear of guys who start putting condoms on when they stand near a couple who are having sex. Makes me so angry, the cheeky fucking bastards - how dare they assume that they are next.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

but remember everyone is different and has different rules... but the clubs rules are final.

some on the other threads didn't want to be watched (thro a window designed for watching), didn't want to be touched in the dark room ( ffs, it is dark how are you supposed to feel you way about unless you put your hands out ) didn't want to be asked, wanted to be asked in a different way...

no like the club rules, leave.

the large majority of people will adhere and respect. the minority from males, females and couples won't and should be told and/or reported an /or ejected and banned

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"

I get so angry when I hear of guys who start putting condoms on when they stand near a couple who are having sex. Makes me so angry, the cheeky fucking bastards - how dare they assume that they are next.

"

At the red, white and blue party we were playing in the corner of the round room and I deliberately had my bum out to the room (I was stood up, hubby led down) - I trusted hubby as to what was going on behind me and a couple of guys had a bit of a play with their hands after checking with him. We got up and left, though, when he looked to the side and saw a queue forming, complete with at least one already condomed up with no request made...

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Oh - and I'd have attempted answering Granny's question if I actually had understood it all!!

(My _iew on asking is if it's a big room and open play - ask or wait to be invited if just 2 are playing. Sometimes I'll get touched if more there's more than 2 of us, esp if they already know me. Depends where they touch/ my mood/ what the other person(s) think... it's a bloomin' minefield for single guys out there! A no means no at all times.) (Oh, and if I was massively fussed about being watched I'd get a private room. Mind you, I'm not too keen if someone feels the need to watch from a very short distance - an extra face too close to my arse or a wanking cock close to my face is not my 'thing'.)

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i am semi laughing because most of the examples given so far i have seen people do it... it's like i am clicking of a list and saying "yep.. seen that!... and that... and that"

the sad thing is that the worst offenders wont be the ones reading the forums and will keep on offending unless people speak up.. and that means couples fems and the good single guys....

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I find a smack on the hand and a firm NO works wonders.

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