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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For those that can be bothered, there's an effort to sell oneself in here.

After all its a buyers market, where they can window shoo and select only the finest of profiles, adourned with glamours pictures and dialect promising experiences straight from Pandora' s box (the legend not Pandora from the flat above the chippy).

So for those of us who can't be arsed,the profile riders, the jaded, the ling timers, what warning signals should be displayed at the bottom of your profile?

Mine:

Really rather a quiet day on the beach or hills not having to say much as opposed to an evening galavanting. Probably a crap shag unless he can really be bothered and unless you really tick my boxes there's a good chance I'll doze off. You've been warned.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Don't ever get him wet. Keep him away from bright light. And the most important thing, the one thing you must never forget: no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs . . . never, never feed him after midnight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Warning. Keep above temperatures of 22 degrees Celsius.

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

Can be a right moody cow and very unsociable when pissed off. Do not mix with alcohol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can be a right moody cow and very unsociable when pissed off. Do not mix with alcohol. "

Hello where is the superman nickers lol

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside


"Can be a right moody cow and very unsociable when pissed off. Do not mix with alcohol.

Hello where is the superman nickers lol "

You are out of luck, none to be found

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can be a right moody cow and very unsociable when pissed off. Do not mix with alcohol.

Hello where is the superman nickers lol

You are out of luck, none to be found "

So...Batman won then? (One for the geeks).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally to be found in massive pants and large jumpers, with un brushed hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice and sweet and kind and gentle

But cross her, and she will chop your bollocks off with a blunt table knife, and nail them to your front door

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

A nice lady who loves to please her man but can be a bit of a diva when she doesn't get what she wants!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice and sweet and kind and gentle

But cross her, and she will chop your bollocks off with a blunt table knife, and nail them to your front door"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't criticise his music or your out the door ,don't turn up listening to something manufactured.....but whatever your choice do not add wine ,he becomes a complete arse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nice and sweet and kind and gentle

But cross her, and she will chop your bollocks off with a blunt table knife, and nail them to your front door"

Actually I like that...least no-one will bother me by using the door knocker

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

Not wired up right!

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

Just a cunt.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Contents may differ from those pictured. Serving suggestion. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Fragile, handle with care.

Well, as legal disclaimers go it's better than that Sydney University bollocks...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Warning:This bitch bites

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill


"Nice and sweet and kind and gentle

But cross her, and she will chop your bollocks off with a blunt table knife, and nail them to your front door"

So your going to gently cut off their bollucks smile sweetly and kindly hammer them up as a door knocker so that the postman has something nice to bang when turning up with the mail...

Ohhh errr mumble shuffle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice and sweet and kind and gentle

But cross her, and she will chop your bollocks off with a blunt table knife, and nail them to your front door

So your going to gently cut off their bollucks smile sweetly and kindly hammer them up as a door knocker so that the postman has something nice to bang when turning up with the mail...

Ohhh errr mumble shuffle "

Get in your cave quick

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill


"Nice and sweet and kind and gentle

But cross her, and she will chop your bollocks off with a blunt table knife, and nail them to your front door

So your going to gently cut off their bollucks smile sweetly and kindly hammer them up as a door knocker so that the postman has something nice to bang when turning up with the mail...

Ohhh errr mumble shuffle

Get in your cave quick "

Think this evolution might be s tad dangerous...

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Quite often an emotional roller coaster but one you'll maybe want to ride on more than once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You might fall in love me.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Doesn't really like people very much"

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside


"Can be a right moody cow and very unsociable when pissed off. Do not mix with alcohol.

Hello where is the superman nickers lol

You are out of luck, none to be found

So...Batman won then? (One for the geeks). "

Always

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moods up and down like a whores hand !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice and sweet and kind and gentle

But cross her, and she will chop your bollocks off with a blunt table knife, and nail them to your front door"

Is that you wifey?..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my current profile covers it nicely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not contact unless you’re a dog ! Plays well with dogs ! Love dogs

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By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

[Removed by poster at 23/09/17 20:39:15]

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

Warning - May contain nuts ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Contains no fruit

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By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool


"Don't ever get him wet. Keep him away from bright light. And the most important thing, the one thing you must never forget: no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs . . . never, never feed him after midnight."

so your a gremlin then lol

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

High maintenance no nonsense biatch....

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