FabSwingers.com forum: Your Mum is Your Mum

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Nobody can replace her. Nobody should replace her. Nobody can do half the things she does or has done for you. Nobody can love you more than she does. Nobody can compare to her. She’s only one person, but she’s the person that matters the most. Do YOU LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR MUM. Even if she's in the sky watching over you..LOVE YOU MUM?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No! She was cold and cruel but she made my sisters and I the women we are today: not sure if that's a good thing though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my mum, lucky to still have her and my dad around. Not this week though... they are off to Spain for another holiday! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry i was raised by my dad, my mums a fud of her own choosing lol

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

Yeh my mum isn't exactly mother of the year either!! 2 daughters she has pushed away.. one 24 yrs and the other 5 yrs.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I love and miss my mum every day

It will be 10 years on November 5th since she passed away after a very short time with pancreatic cancer at the age of 68. She had spent 5 years looking after my stepfather before he passed away, she died some 16 months later.

I had a wonderful loving relationship with her and feel so sorry for people who missed out on love like my mother gave to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last time I saw my Mother I told her that if someone comes around to tell me she is dead I will tell them to put her body in a skip. She destroyed a lot of good peoples lives, and yet she gets to live when more deserving people are dying everyday.

Anyway If you do have a good Mother cherish her every day as life can be very brief

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No! She was cold and cruel but she made my sisters and I the women we are today: not sure if that's a good thing though.

"
snap ..... and she would hit me .... up untill 5 years ago then i stop her ... she never did think i would stand up to her i did and its stopped . She been drinking alot from when i was a little girl and just would get out of control . I dont have a normal mum she can go off into one at all times ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mum said a good few years ago... she wanted my sisters and my ashes lol....so they wouldnt belong to my family(dads side).......now if anyone can see the sense of that pls point it out lolol

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

I loved my mum and still can't believe she's gone. We lost her in April this year after years of illness it was still a shock to know I will never cuddle her nor be able to tell how much she means to me and the kids.

She was always there for us no matter how often we screwed up, with a shoulder to cry on or a kick up the arse - which ever was needed.

My heart goes out to those who never knew this sort of unconditional love

If I live my life and manage half of what my mum did I'll die a happy woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate post like this. I hate the niavity that expects parents should be put on a pedestal. My mom, well on a plus point she's not as bad as my dad. They have no idea where I live or what I am upto and it suits me fine.

Talk me way to long to cut them and their selfish bullying shite out of my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We lost my Mom 10yrs ago, just 18months after my Dad, and there hasn't been a day that's past since without me thinking about them.

I suppose we were lucky to have enjoyed totally unconditional love, so want to give the same to our boys.

We never had a lot of materialistic things as we were growing up, but we had everything we needed.

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

my mum didnt give a shit when i was growing up and still doesnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah i left home on my 16th birthday and ive never seen my mum since

Not all mums are good mums, i hated mine for reasons i not go into on here, and have no intentions of ever seeing her again, she could actually be dead for all i know, i have no idea

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

"We lost my Mom 10yrs ago, just 18months after my Dad, and there hasn't been a day that's past since without me thinking about them.

I suppose we were lucky to have enjoyed totally unconditional love, so want to give the same to our boys.

We never had a lot of materialistic things as we were growing up, but we had everything we needed."

Much the same as us really but everyone has their own circumstances and parents and kids their own personalities. We each have to make the most of life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum died about 11 years ago age 72. Sometimes she used to upset me, only if i knew then how much i would miss her when she wasnt here, i would have apreciated her a lot more than what i did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel so saddened for all those who didn't know a mothers love, the one person that you think would give it unconditionally to a child.

I feel even more blessed now to still have mine in my life. xxx

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I hate post like this. I hate the niavity that expects parents should be put on a pedestal. My mom, well on a plus point she's not as bad as my dad. They have no idea where I live or what I am upto and it suits me fine.

Talk me way to long to cut them and their selfish bullying shite out of my life."

Ditto. Cold abusive mother, philandering and emotionally stunted father. I shall give thanks for my older sister instead who basically brought me and my younger sister up so we didn't hate everybody.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel so saddened for all those who didn't know a mothers love, the one person that you think would give it unconditionally to a child.

I feel even more blessed now to still have mine in my life. xxx"

I never saw my Mother love and the only solace I have is that she may not be on the planet much longer (I'd kill her myself if I could get away with it)

What it has done though is make me appreciate my own Daughter, and give her all the love and support my Mother didn't give me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel so saddened for all those who didn't know a mothers love, the one person that you think would give it unconditionally to a child.

I feel even more blessed now to still have mine in my life. xxx

I never saw my Mother love and the only solace I have is that she may not be on the planet much longer (I'd kill her myself if I could get away with it)

What it has done though is make me appreciate my own Daughter, and give her all the love and support my Mother didn't give me."

So in a strange way your mother has influenced the way you feel for your daughter?

Just keep filling her little heart with love and care. xx

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"What it has done though is make me appreciate my own Daughter, and give her all the love and support my Mother didn't give me."

Me and my sisters swore we would never lay a finger on our kids so I guess there was that benefit. And I adore my daughter unconditionally (luckily - she costs me a blimmin' fortune

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What it has done though is make me appreciate my own Daughter, and give her all the love and support my Mother didn't give me."

yeah i always feel like that too, i was determined my children would never have the life i had as a child

Tho i think i went a bit over board and they got a way with to much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel so saddened for all those who didn't know a mothers love, the one person that you think would give it unconditionally to a child.

I feel even more blessed now to still have mine in my life. xxx

I never saw my Mother love and the only solace I have is that she may not be on the planet much longer (I'd kill her myself if I could get away with it)

What it has done though is make me appreciate my own Daughter, and give her all the love and support my Mother didn't give me.

So in a strange way your mother has influenced the way you feel for your daughter?

Just keep filling her little heart with love and care. xx"

Yes I have learned from her mistakes but judging by the amount of kids with kids I saw today I'm in a bit of a minority.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Not a day goes past that I don't think and wish mines was here....

she would have adored her grand daughter's kids.

but look forward to the day we will be together again.

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

I love my mum. Sometimes she doesn't understand me but she and my dad have always been there in my darkest hours. And reading the above posts makes me appreciate them all the more.

Hope you have all found your own happiness

Scarlett x

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

My dear old mum is now 85 and Dad is 87. The things my mother sacrificed for us kids when we had absolutely no money... She loved us unconditionally and completely. She took jobs that no one else wanted just to keep food on the table and suffered greatly for that choice.

When I read some of the posts above, about how some would even like to rid the world on their own mum

It saddens me greatly. My mum has dementia now and sometimes doesn’t realise who we are. I pray every day that some miracle will happen and this nasty disease will recede… But on the bright side.. She doesn’t know what is happening to her, she is just in a world of her own, it is us who suffer the loss.

I just hope that those of you who have stated their hate, indifference or dislike for your mothers can forgive them one day so you let go of those feeling forever xxxx

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

My late mum was a pure diamond, left to bring me up alone when my dad was killed overseas in 1972 she did everything a loving mum could possibly do for me.

This was in the days before the government wiped your arse with child tax credits....what you earned you lived on, with that in mind it was a miracle she kept food on the table at times.

And all the time she was working three part time jobs every day to cloth and feed me, she was in a constant fight with the Ministry of Defence to find out the truth of how my dad was mortally wounded, this was back in the day when more was kept secret than was ever publicised by the governments of the day.

I miss her every day, and always will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dear old mum is now 85 and Dad is 87. The things my mother sacrificed for us kids when we had absolutely no money... She loved us unconditionally and completely. She took jobs that no one else wanted just to keep food on the table and suffered greatly for that choice.

When I read some of the posts above, about how some would even like to rid the world on their own mum

I just hope that those of you who have stated their hate, indifference or dislike for your mothers can forgive them one day so you let go of those feeling forever xxxx

totally understand _umour, but I'am afreai that its not as black and white as that...there is a time when some have to think about what they are doing or have done and change that...in my case she never has, as we all have an individual story to tell its just not that easy to forgive, but it is easy to forget am afraid... all mine is to me is a biological carrier of me and a vague hint of what a mother should be...thankfully i wont carry out the same behaviour and actions as she has

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Jane.. Like us, you are obviously a product of a loving home. Looking at other posts, we should be (are) thankful.

Raise... I do feel for anyone who feels that way, especially about their mum! But I wasn't there and you obviously have deep feelings that are not going away. Perhaps one day you will be able to truly let them go.

No matter what upbringing you had, judging by your posts you aint turned out too bad, so perhaps she did some good..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my mum I just don't like her xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jane.. Like us, you are obviously a product of a loving home. Looking at other posts, we should be (are) thankful.

No matter what upbringing you had, judging by your posts you aint turned out too bad, so perhaps she did some good.."

Thanx _umour, id more commend my dad who left the army (awol) to bring up his two mix race kids in a time when it wasnt at all common in glasgow...his input and the rest of the family i believe have done more...9mths carrying a child yes i say makes a bond, a few early years for a developing child is great...but when we become a little bit older, i dont think being self aware of a mothers lack of care/love is a good thing.plenty chances to change that, im still open to it...but wont simply because she 'is' my mother-she has to earn that back (not done a great job with her 5 grandchildren either).

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Whilst they walk this earth.. If you have issues with them, try whilst they are here...

I had a zero relationship with my dad, lived in the States when he died, I chose not to come home to see him before he left us... Sometimes I think 'I wish I had tried a little harder'.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

" And I adore my daughter unconditionally (luckily - she costs me a blimmin' fortune

yep a blimmin fortune,and then some.

i come from a big family,6 boys,1 girl.

my mum gave us everything,with never a thought for herself.

this thread has reminded me,how lucky we are.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Whilst they walk this earth.. If you have issues with them, try whilst they are here...

I had a zero relationship with my dad, lived in the States when he died, I chose not to come home to see him before he left us... Sometimes I think 'I wish I had tried a little harder'."

My mother has moved up to York and I see her every week or 2 and she is still emotionally manipulative and verbally abusive.

Yeah, I have forgiven. She is 69, she won't change now. But I'll never forget the beatings we were given for the tiniest little thing. Don't see why I should.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It sounds like I was lucky with my parents going by some of the posts on this thread as mine were brilliant parents, both of them.

Although I am sure people have reason not to like their parents much, it is sad reading some of these posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody can replace her. Nobody should replace her. Nobody can do half the things she does or has done for you. Nobody can love you more than she does. Nobody can compare to her. She’s only one person, but she’s the person that matters the most. Do YOU LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR MUM. Even if she's in the sky watching over you..LOVE YOU MUM?"

That's the way it should be but evidently it wasn't like that for everyone.

Glad both mine were and my Mum still is wonderful even tho she has dementure.

Feel sadness for all those who miss/ed out on that love.

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By *orkduoCouple
over a year ago

york

your mums ya best mate i love my mum to bits xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Matilda turns 1 next month and my own mother still hasn't seen her, why? i have no idea why she hasnt visited, I've not taken her round to visit cause my mum and her partner are heavy smokers, we had the Christening a few weeks back, she had an invitation and still she never turned up, I've not been round to visit since before the Christening, indeed mums can be the most supportive but why she has shown no interest in her new granddaughter escapes me completely.... not every mum is great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely if you tell your mum to not smoke in the house, but to go outside to smoke when you are there, it will be ok to visit her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely if you tell your mum to not smoke in the house, but to go outside to smoke when you are there, it will be ok to visit her."

not that simple, her house her rules, she wont do that, she once fed my sisters baby with a fag in her mouth and most of the smoke was being blown towards the baby, needless to say my sister didnt taker her round again till she was about 5 years old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parents had me late in life, mum was 40 and dad was 50. they always wanted a little girl and they did dote on me.

When I hit my teens I was so embarrassed that they were older than other kids' parents. But I can honestly say that both of them were wonderful loving parents, my mum my best friend. Even though the downside of having me late in life meant they would leave me whilst I was still young, but I am grateful that while we were a family unit, I was loved, cherished and cared for every day of my life. I feel very sorry for those who don't have this type of relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the 3rd part of a 5th generation thats still going. I love my mum dearly even though i think sometimes why the hell does she do that?!

I dread the day when she wont be on the other end of the phone to moan too and tell her i love her.

I see the hurt in her eyes when she comes back from seeing her mum and wait for the bit where she says she dosnt know me anymore....

On the other hand i might just murder her poodle in a minute if it dosnt stop whineing cos its missing her ( shes just taken a load of stuff down the tip for me lol)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Question : to the mother loathers....

What life did your mothers have ? As children? As adults?

How far back do you want to extend the blame ?

Very interesting topic.

I'm not denying people their feelings or questioning their truths.

There is one hell of a lot more to any individual than parenting skills, which are learned rather than innate in any case.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm the 3rd part of a 5th generation thats still going. I love my mum dearly even though i think sometimes why the hell does she do that?!

I dread the day when she wont be on the other end of the phone to moan too and tell her i love her.

I see the hurt in her eyes when she comes back from seeing her mum and wait for the bit where she says she dosnt know me anymore....

On the other hand i might just murder her poodle in a minute if it dosnt stop whineing cos its missing her ( shes just taken a load of stuff down the tip for me lol)"

What a normal level headed post xx love it ..

Don't murder the poodle. Furjazzle it for her while she's out.

She'll thank you for it xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're lucky enough to have a loving mother it's nigh on impossible to understand those of us that didn't. I've mentioned in previous threads I didn't speak to my mother for nine years as she said it served me right my son had died as I was a sinner.

After nine years I went to see her. The first words out of her mouth was "still fat I see!" When I left I knew I'd never see her alive again.

My mother hated us: I have four sisters, we don't agree on much but our mother's dislike is one we all agree on. Every conversation started "if it wasn't for you kids...".

Being a mother myself I can't imagine not being there for my kids...blimey I know I over compensate at times which is not good either.

Lack of love from my mother made me wary of others when younger. It does affect you. My mother had a miserable life because she lived it for others. She showed me that's no way to live so I've always been hedonistic.

My sisters and I tried, but there's only so much you can do. I've never felt envious of material things but I wish I'd had a mother I'd gone shopping with, sat having a girly chat with like I do with my girls but it wasn't to be.

She was a sad, lonely, cruel bitter woman felt sorry for her really.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Question : to the mother loathers....

What life did your mothers have ? As children? As adults?

How far back do you want to extend the blame ?

Very interesting topic.

I'm not denying people their feelings or questioning their truths.

There is one hell of a lot more to any individual than parenting skills, which are learned rather than innate in any case.

My mother has told me she was smacked, but I don't know to what extent. However, for those of you who think abuse is a cycle, I have never laid a finger on my daughter. If the armchair psychologists think it is a foregone conclusion that people who were abused have to abuse others, then how does that explain me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well this topic opened up a can of worms...!!!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"well this topic opened up a can of worms...!!!!"

Yep ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

At least all posts are by level headed people.

It only goes tits up when you get someone in who can't allow others a point of _iew and takes things personally.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

I can be a bit shit at the family tree thing so help me out

Your daughters crak smoking heroine using asshole of a mother ....... is your ex partner ? Yes

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

That is very sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

I can be a bit shit at the family tree thing so help me out

Your daughters crak smoking heroine using asshole of a mother ....... is your ex partner ? Yes "

uhhh... yes !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

That is very sad.

very sad

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

I can be a bit shit at the family tree thing so help me out

Your daughters crak smoking heroine using asshole of a mother ....... is your ex partner ? Yes

uhhh... yes !"

So no chance of reconciling?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

I can be a bit shit at the family tree thing so help me out

Your daughters crak smoking heroine using asshole of a mother ....... is your ex partner ? Yes

uhhh... yes !

So no chance of reconciling?

reconciliation is not an option with my kids mum !

she's an asshole who cares only for her self !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

I can be a bit shit at the family tree thing so help me out

Your daughters crak smoking heroine using asshole of a mother ....... is your ex partner ? Yes

uhhh... yes !

So no chance of reconciling?

reconciliation is not an option with my kids mum !

she's an asshole who cares only for her self !"

Totally understand yer feelings to someone in addiction....

She is ill tho.. mabye the future will bring blessings for you all..

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

as they say you choose your friends ,you dont choose family .

i dont loath my mother that would require feelings and effort. i have total indifference to her .she just happened to give birth to me thats all. im afraid any idiots can have children. takes sooooo much more to raise,guide ,protect,love,support and teach a child . all of that hard work was done by my dad .

as for her upbringing, not easy but no diferent to her bothers and sisters ,and they are loving parents .people are too quick to blame their childhood for the mistakes they choose to make .you can either keep on a path you know is doomed or you use as incentive to better yourself DISPITE of it! my own childhood wasnt fantastic either but im a damn good mother ! yes i have and will make mistakes but my daughter will never be in any doubt that shes loved unconditionally and will have me there for her till i take my last breath .

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"well this topic opened up a can of worms...!!!!

Yep ......

Certainly has, but I see that as a good thing. Nothing more difficult that talking about subjects like this for some.

Perhaps and I hope that posting has at least a small theraputic effect for some xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

I can be a bit shit at the family tree thing so help me out

Your daughters crak smoking heroine using asshole of a mother ....... is your ex partner ? Yes

uhhh... yes !

So no chance of reconciling?

reconciliation is not an option with my kids mum !

she's an asshole who cares only for her self !

Totally understand yer feelings to someone in addiction....

She is ill tho.. mabye the future will bring blessings for you all.."

nothing would make me happier than that !

my baby lovesher mum, and i do care very much for her, but for now she is on her own path

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum died at the young age of 52, miss her everyday and cry often !

My daughters mum is a crack smoking, heroine using asshole !

you get good and bad mums

I can be a bit shit at the family tree thing so help me out

Your daughters crak smoking heroine using asshole of a mother ....... is your ex partner ? Yes

uhhh... yes !

So no chance of reconciling?

reconciliation is not an option with my kids mum !

she's an asshole who cares only for her self !

Totally understand yer feelings to someone in addiction....

She is ill tho.. mabye the future will bring blessings for you all..

nothing would make me happier than that !

my baby lovesher mum, and i do care very much for her, but for now she is on her own path

Its an enormously difficult thing to have to cope with..I do understand..

So many conflicting emotions and thoughts..sanity can be hard to find in the midst of all that..

I truly hope and pray, that your family comes together, if not, that you find your peace..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum is the ultimate matriarch and if one of her cubs is hurting she comes out fighting like a lioness with a thorn in her foot. She's quietly unassuming but has the ear of every member of our family. She's knows when she's being hoodwinked but she gives all of herself anyway. Nobody will ever come close to my mum as the woman I admire most on this planet.

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By *nnesteveCouple
over a year ago

wigan

i lost my mum in may last yr very sudden, she was only 59. and still cant get over it. she was my mum and best friend rolled into one, no one loves u like ur mum, and im the same with my kids, she made me the mum i am today and i hope i made her very proud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as they say you choose your friends ,you dont choose family .

Absolutely right, I love my kids unconditionally and they know that, my mother on the other hand is all about conditional love and what's in it for her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as they say you choose your friends ,you dont choose family .

Excellent point. My uncle, my mother's brother died aged 93 in April. He died surrounded by eight kids, 22 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren. The church was packed. My sister and I went. You could feel the love. When I think of my Uncle Peter I smile. He was a lovely, happy man, raised by the same parents as my mother.

You can't always blame upbringing. Not every child raised by a single mum on a housing estate is a no hoper etc, luck of the draw I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hated living with my mum & dad when I was little;

the alcohol, the drugs, the gambling...

They never let me do any of them.

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