FabSwingers.com forum: Zombies

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

A zombie virus is spreading like wildfire and is fast approaching your area...

... The object closest to you on your right is your only weapon

.. What is it and how do you plan to use it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My belt...I reckon I'll still survive.

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

A can of hairspray...eeek I'm fucked!!

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Luckily enough... A Samurai sword & a crossbow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ummm, my wand, I'd vibrate them to death

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I have a bogroll on ma table. I will wrap it around maself and pretend to be a mummy. That should scare the little shits off

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By *eather_Loves_SexWoman
over a year ago

Halfway Between London and Brighton

A suitcase pick it up and throw at them?

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By *andm_69Couple
over a year ago

Stevenage

300 litres of mayo = 30 buckets.

I will just throw mayo on the floor and watch them fall over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Luckily enough... A Samurai sword & a crossbow! "

Are you a ninja?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A zombie virus is spreading like wildfire and is fast approaching your area...

... The object closest to you on your right is your only weapon

.. What is it and how do you plan to use it ?

A cup of coffee. I'll make those fuckers sit down and chat to me. Bore them to death.

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"A can of hairspray...eeek I'm fucked!!

At least you'll look dam good

Or use it as a flame thrower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly, it's my cat. So I'd feed it to the zombie and run like fuck

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"Luckily enough... A Samurai sword & a crossbow!

Are you a ninja? "

Yes!

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Sadly, it's my cat. So I'd feed it to the zombie and run like fuck

A bit of pussy might chill them out a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A 'Des O'Connor Greatest Hits' CD...

I'll pop that into the sound system, turn up the volume...

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By *ack_at_the_farm....Man
over a year ago

woodhall spa

An A4 sheet of paper - i plan to hide behind it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cigs and lighter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Luckily enough... A Samurai sword & a crossbow!

Are you a ninja?

Yes! "

Bows venerably...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A can of hairspray...eeek I'm fucked!!

If you had a lighter you could turn it into a flame thrower

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"300 litres of mayo = 30 buckets.

I will just throw mayo on the floor and watch them fall over"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hard hat. Maybe I could beat their brains in with it?!

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By *HEEKY MISTAMan
over a year ago

Beds

Loo Roll hahaha!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

My teddy!

I'm screwed, aren't I? Unless I can trade my life with a cuddle from teddy? To be fair he's a GREAT teddy!

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By *rMrs-Luv-ItCouple
over a year ago

cwmbranish

A hot water bottle gone cold :-/ Great help that would be lol

If the zombies was Like the ones in shaun of the dead or walking dead

i would just walk away from it they was not very fast

(Jo)

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Luckily enough... A Samurai sword & a crossbow!

Are you a ninja?

Yes! "

Can we call funky's mate Mark, who is a Ninja

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dyson Hoover.

Attach it to my back and whack the motherfuckers!!!

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By *andm_69Couple
over a year ago

Stevenage

"300 litres of mayo = 30 buckets.

I will just throw mayo on the floor and watch them fall over

I work in factory where we make sandwich fillings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like a bit of a waste to through good scotch in its face!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dogs are sitting on me, but I wouldn't risk their lives. It would be a cup of tea.

I'm fucked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dogs are sitting on me, but I wouldn't risk their lives. It would be a cup of tea.

I'm fucked."

Unless I can offer them a cup while we negotiate my life.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

here and there

My nephew, I'll throw him to them distracting them and escape!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhh tit's... I'm shagged then... my object to my right is my turbo trainer, but it's in two parts one part would be good to drop onto a zombie but it would be a single use weapon due to its weight, the other part might not be so bad, it's like a big boomerang shape so might work prety well for twatting a few

actually I should be ok.... maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dogs are sitting on me, but I wouldn't risk their lives. It would be a cup of tea.

I'm fucked.

Unless I can offer them a cup while we negotiate my life. "

Depends how bad your brew tastes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My phone!! Use the flash light to blind them!!!!

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

It's a full length mirror; I'd place it in front of the zombie and, whilst they are just trying to eat themselves (I've heard zombies are too bright), I'd make my get escape.

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"My dogs are sitting on me, but I wouldn't risk their lives. It would be a cup of tea.

I'm fucked.

Unless I can offer them a cup while we negotiate my life. "

You're toast, zombies don't negotiate but maybe flash them your breasts instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the bath so shampoo...

I'll just have to talk those fuckers down, bore their brains to death

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a full length mirror; I'd place it in front of the zombie and, whilst they are just trying to eat themselves (I've heard zombies are too bright), I'd make my get escape."

Thats actually a good idea lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A cushion. I'm gonna smoother the zombie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

post it notes ,,, I plan on applying post it notes to all zombies head saying they are my property and some body will undoubtedly steal them

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"A zombie virus is spreading like wildfire and is fast approaching your area...

... The object closest to you on your right is your only weapon

.. What is it and how do you plan to use it ?

If it is a virus then there are no weapons you can use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Sky remote. This isn't going to end well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mouse

um throw it as a distraction and sneak the other way i guess lol i think im dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My land-rover = fuck you the anti 4x4 & diesel brigade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All really answered this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hoisin duck spring roll. I think it could take the head off a zombie...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A poodle... He's a big bugger though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A large bottle of vodka... I think I can make that work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A V shaped pillow

I can have a nap before I become a zombie - it looks exhausting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hand turned wooden fruit bowl, might make a natty hard hat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

Or make them a tea cosy style hat to see if they chilled out a bit

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"All really answered this

Or you could just jog on and not comment,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

Or make them a tea cosy style hat to see if they chilled out a bit"

Thank god you didn't say willy warmers

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

Or make them a tea cosy style hat to see if they chilled out a bit

Thank god you didn't say willy warmers

I was going to but if it's a female zombie you'd be fucked with a willy warmer, unisex hat gives you half a chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

Or make them a tea cosy style hat to see if they chilled out a bit

Thank god you didn't say willy warmers

I was going to but if it's a female zombie you'd be fucked with a willy warmer, unisex hat gives you half a chance

I could always do a unicorn hat

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

Or make them a tea cosy style hat to see if they chilled out a bit

Thank god you didn't say willy warmers

I was going to but if it's a female zombie you'd be fucked with a willy warmer, unisex hat gives you half a chance

I could always do a unicorn hat

Good idea it would be impossible for them to be mr angry in a unicorn hat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

Or make them a tea cosy style hat to see if they chilled out a bit

Thank god you didn't say willy warmers

I was going to but if it's a female zombie you'd be fucked with a willy warmer, unisex hat gives you half a chance

I could always do a unicorn hat

That moment when you are running for your life and stop to double take a zombie with a unicorn hat and subsequently get zombiefide yourself

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Knitting needles and a lot of wool......

Hmmm I suppose I could always poke them

Or make them a tea cosy style hat to see if they chilled out a bit

Thank god you didn't say willy warmers

I was going to but if it's a female zombie you'd be fucked with a willy warmer, unisex hat gives you half a chance

I could always do a unicorn hat

That moment when you are running for your life and stop to double take a zombie with a unicorn hat and subsequently get zombiefide yourself

At least you'd go while laughing out loud

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

A bottle of Buttercup Syrup!! Well at least they won't make them awful gurgly noises if I make em drink it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

G & T

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"G & T

Gun and tank ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My GF’s hula hoop!

Fuck knows how it’s gonna safe me from impending doom!?

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have nothing to my right but I am certain I would nag the Zombies to death. Been told by my boss that I am exceptional at nagging!

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By *parkle......Woman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Bar of chocolate

Melt it all over my body so they can eat me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a can of beer and a half eaten bag of crisps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read them the Brexit plan white paper ?

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By *aelawMan
over a year ago

Paisley

My canes, not overly effective at removing the head though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An aerosol and a lighter

Instant flame thrower

All good

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Desktop pc!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cup! Im gonna drink so much I turn into a pee/water canon and hold them back that way

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By *isfun4usCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

My phone!

I've watched enough zombie films to know that I can survive a zombie apocalypse.

Rule 1: Cardio

Rule 8: Get a kick ass partner.

Rule 32: Enjoy the little things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A replica of the Mcloud sword frim Highlander

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My phone!

I've watched enough zombie films to know that I can survive a zombie apocalypse.

Rule 1: Cardio

Rule 8: Get a kick ass partner.

Rule 32: Enjoy the little things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bag of maltesers...they're not gonna help, unless it's a zombie Privateparts then I'm alright

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol, its my replica of long claw, John snows valerian sword from game of thrones, every one follow me

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Currently a pillow, but I'm up for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lamp?! Haha I'm doomed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bottle of Budweiser.

Drink it of course.

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"A lamp?! Haha I'm doomed.

Turn it off and keep very very still and you might be ok

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