FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Profile euphemisms

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Stumbled across this on a website and made me laugh.

1. passionate — horny

2. handsome — my mama tells me this all the time so I must be

3. fit — I can walk from my car to my office without getting too winded

4. athletic — I played football (or some sport) in high school

5. chivalrous — I’ll open the door for you, at least until we’ve had sex a few times

6. Intelligent (sic) — not

7. funny — My fart jokes crack up my buddies

8. gentlemanly — I won’t attack you until the end of the date

9. separated — living in the same house with wife, sleeping in same bed, sometimes having sex, but not often enough so am listing myself on this swinging site

10. curvy — chubby

11. voluptuous — obese

12. Amazon — huge

13. want to have fun — want to have sex

14. adventurous — kinky

15. looking for the one — looking for the one for right now, until someone better comes along

16. want a sensational friendship — friends with benefits

17. romantic — horny

18. give flowers for no reason — you’ll be lucky if you ever see a daisy

Are they accurate? Can you think of any more "euphemisms" we might see on profiles.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

love to give oral - won't even go down there with my face at all, you probably won't even get any foreplay whatsoever.

easy going - will rant at you for not replying and call you names.

polite - i want sex and think being polite will get it me.

looking for fun - i'm boring as fuck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"love to give oral - won't even go down there with my face at all, you probably won't even get any foreplay whatsoever.

easy going - will rant at you for not replying and call you names.

polite - i want sex and think being polite will get it me.

looking for fun - i'm boring as fuck.

"

Like them!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"love to give oral - won't even go down there with my face at all, you probably won't even get any foreplay whatsoever.

easy going - will rant at you for not replying and call you names.

polite - i want sex and think being polite will get it me.

looking for fun - i'm boring as fuck.

Like them! "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"love to give oral - won't even go down there with my face at all, you probably won't even get any foreplay whatsoever.

easy going - will rant at you for not replying and call you names.

polite - i want sex and think being polite will get it me.

looking for fun - i'm boring as fuck.

"

Dashes to amend profile quickly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bubbly - bubble shaped

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will fill in later - lazy as fuck so don't expect an orgasm.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quality not quantity - might as well pretend I'm fussy cos i have zero luck on here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safe sex - if you believe that then you'll believe anything.

Safe sex - but i won't have any condoms.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"love to give oral - won't even go down there with my face at all, you probably won't even get any foreplay whatsoever.

easy going - will rant at you for not replying and call you names.

polite - i want sex and think being polite will get it me.

looking for fun - i'm boring as fuck.

Dashes to amend profile quickly "

haha.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genuine - tactless and ungracious

Fun guy - boring

Go with the flow - no clue what I want in bed

Massage - a few half hearted strokes with some baby oil that I offer in the hope it will tempt some naive sap into bed with me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fun loving- raging alcoholic!

easy going - thick as a plank

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Loves to please - clueless how to do it

Not shagging the whole site - little chance of that!

Never had any complaints - they run as quickly as possible, no chat

Professional - often misspelled, thinks it will impress for a shag

Happy to drive you after drinks - safer to hitchhike as sex expected during the journey and back at yours

A gentleman - a beast

Playful - on the sex offenders register

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Love to kiss for hours...I can't think of anything else.

Professional...I don't wear a hi-viz jacket to work.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I don't bite, unless you want me to - I'll need to put ma dentures in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or

love to give oral - I don't wash, hopefully this distracts you enough.

easy going - I want you to come up with all the ideas.

polite - I don't just delete a message. I say no to your face.

looking for fun - looking for sex.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wesomeSauce!Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Massage - a few half hearted strokes with some baby oil that I offer in the hope it will tempt some naive sap into bed with me"

LOL!

I never use baby oil

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" polite - I don't just delete a message. I say no to your face. "

Laughed at this one!

Some great ones folks, perhaps they should go into the FAB dictionary?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sophisticated = We know more than 2 positions

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Been here before, know how this works -

Been here and failed dismally before, know how you lot demand the unrealistic, not that I could deliver much pleasure anyway.

Or, had previous accounts blocked or the wife found out. Will still lie in an attempt to get any sex that I can.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Still living at home with parents, can't accom often -

Is 58, not 38, and lives with wife or elderly mother. Will accom if they won't wake up, if you'll nosh his meat by the back door.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *othrockercplCouple
over a year ago

Halloween Town

420 Friendly: my dealers on holiday so if you bring any there's a chance of a shag.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imonP23Man
over a year ago

Shepton Mallet

I find "Curvy" to be particularly annoying on profiles with no body pics. It could mean "chubby" or it could mean "perfect hourglass figure". If the only pics are fanny closeups, I'll assume "chubby".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Won't shag anything - no chance anyway, so there's some honesty within this and the similar 'everything'.

Your pleasure comes first - as long as it involves giving me what I want, nosh my cock and bareback near anonymously AND free, unlike commercial women.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"420 Friendly: my dealers on holiday so if you bring any there's a chance of a shag."

or won't turn up coz they passed out after a toke.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Run out of messages - too tight to buy a membership.

Party girl/looking to be spoilt - hooker

Treat me like a princess - hooker

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *othrockercplCouple
over a year ago

Halloween Town

Treat me right and I'll do anything: hooker

I'm a single (age) female looking to meet men, women and couples for sex: I'm probably a fake account. But I might be real because isn't this what a profile should say? I see lots like it so it must be the right way...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Easy on the eyes - after a few drinks and always in their mum's eyes.

Love banter - may be perceived as offensive by most

Average build - skipped exercise at school and not participated since.

Tall - taller than their mum

Try anything once - expects you to try any of their unpalatable interests for the duration of the meet

Assertive male - big headed twat

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top