FabSwingers.com forum: No sex at home

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If a man or woman is not getting sex from their partner, what things can they do to try and spice things up at home?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hand for the man and a wand for the woman springs to mind

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

role play might be a good one. it gets you out of the rut of daily life and pretending to be someone else, that someone else might want sex.

often it is the monotony of life that kills of sex i think, shit like not doing your share of the housework makes you unatractive, treating your partner like a slave doesn't appeal to all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes all the spice in the world isn't enough if they just aren't that way inclined

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What if the partner just can't be arsed and you try talking to them but nothing changes, is it fair to expect the person not getting sex to just put up with it?

Do you think having help with house work and stuff would help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the reason for it. I avoided sex for years and switched that side of me off because he was crap and selfish. So nothing would have helped us. X

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

From my experience (and chatting with mates) the sex tends to stop if there's something a bit off outside the bedroom ... of see if there was any small thing that's grating ...

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By *unforus1965Couple
over a year ago

MIDLANDS

"If a man or woman is not getting sex from their partner, what things can they do to try and spice things up at home? "

Talk.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"Do you think having help with house work and stuff would help. "

for me personally it did work. my ex was a lazy fucker, really nice guy and everything else about him was great, affectionate, open, loving, but i was sick of doing everything. it came to a head one night when i was still picking up after 2 kids while my babies were asleep and he was playing on the playstation...it was 2am and i said i wanted to sleep and not do this shit while he sat on his arse doing nothing.

he started helping a little bit then, still not enough so i just stopped doing everything. literally went on strike, don't see why i should be miserable so i did that. he helped out properly then.

yeah i begrudge sex with someone who is allowing me to miserable when there's no need for that.

anything else causing problems idk coz i have a high sex drive and so don't really ever want to stop having sex. i'm only not having sex now coz i'm not confident i will get the sex i want from strangers and i don't wanna fuck attached guys and most of my previous meets were/are exactly that. otherwise i'd be fucking every single day.

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?"

Spend more time talking to their OH as they do to you ! And get of fab. That's gonna ruin yr relationship quicker than whatever is causing the dry spell.

Or I may just be getting rid of the competition lol

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"If a man or woman is not getting sex from their partner, what things can they do to try and spice things up at home? "

Simply talk to each other openly and find out the reasons why

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I doubt very much that all these attached guys who claim to not be getting any sex at home are being truthful. I think most just want to have their cake and eat it.

They are perfectly happy in their relationship but just like the thrill of the chase and want to prove to themselves that they've still got it.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"I doubt very much that all these attached guys who claim to not be getting any sex at home are being truthful. I think most just want to have their cake and eat it.

They are perfectly happy in their relationship but just like the thrill of the chase and want to prove to themselves that they've still got it."

that last line would explain why they get so angry and offensive at being turned down or ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have to "try" then it's probably over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a case of the sex getting stale. You think the grass is greener, dirtier, more passionate on the other side. And sometimes it is. But sometimes not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk about it. Communication is the key. Is someone stressed or unwell? Is someone feeling neglected? Unloved? No sex drive due to kids, work, meds etc

Is sex not doing it for them? Havr they fetishes and kink needs not being met?

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By *ontanMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

When I was in a relationship sex was not usually an issue. But I did find that role play/talking did send it to a new level

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I doubt very much that all these attached guys who claim to not be getting any sex at home are being truthful. I think most just want to have their cake and eat it.

They are perfectly happy in their relationship but just like the thrill of the chase and want to prove to themselves that they've still got it."

I totally agree with this statement

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If a man or woman is not getting sex from their partner, what things can they do to try and spice things up at home? "

Spicing things up will only work if it's boredom causing either partners reluctance. So in my opinion the first thing to do is to discover why there's no sex and work from there.

If spicing up is the answer I think discussion and sharing fantasies is a great start.

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By *evilinsidemeMan
over a year ago

Trim

Picking the right time to have sex is always important,

Just after you or he has finished a 16 hour shift & look knackered. Nooooo.

NOT saying things like....

"Why don't we have sex as much anymore"

"Do you not fancy me as much"

Or any kind of forced sex talk doesn't help.

Things to try!

Caressing, touching, teasing, massage but without the, "I give you one you give me one"

Surprise weekends away.

Presents, flowers, Chocolate, beers, cooking their favourite meal.

Telling them how good they look/feel/smell/turn you on/make you happy.

I like them so it's just ideas.

Sharing the responsibilities (I once had an awesome sex session when we both were washing up!)

Oh and listen to them, find out what new things they might like to try by observations and sly questions!

All these work for both sexes I think

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If you have to "try" then it's probably over "

It's lack of trying that causes it to be over. Long term relationships need both partners to try.

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By *evilinsidemeMan
over a year ago

Trim

"If you have to "try" then it's probably over

It's lack of trying that causes it to be over. Long term relationships need both partners to try."

110% correct.

BOTH being the main word there.

Breaks my heart thinking of the times I didn't try or she didn't try enough.

Now......single and here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the married men. Even better if they bareback.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?"

Sometimes they do that and it makes no difference.

A friend of ours went 14 years of no sex and from what we saw and what his wife told us, anyone would want him as a husband as he was great around the house.

Sometimes women ( and no doubt some men ) just don't want sex and it wouldn't matter what their life was like with their husband/ wife or how much talking they had done it won't change anything.

I also think giving marriage guidance to a stranger on a website isn't something that is helpful unless you know exactly what is going on in their relationship , which no one probably would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexual desire (the horn) is a natural feeling. If someone has lost the horn it is most likely because of an outside influence that is not related to attraction or sexual appetite. The most common are stress, depression, tiredness and ill health. Rather than focusing on the sex, look at what is causing the loss off the horn and see what you can do to rectify that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What about the guys that have made threads about how their partners won't do certain things like anal, rimming or even doggy style or swallowing cum or even a blow job in the first place. Are there really women who won't do any of those things or is it bull shit that guys say to try and get their end away?

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"What about the guys that have made threads about how their partners won't do certain things like anal, rimming or even doggy style or swallowing cum or even a blow job in the first place. Are there really women who won't do any of those things or is it bull shit that guys say to try and get their end away? "

If it's on the vanilla side I call BS. Or at least they knew this early doors and are now bitching about the decision they made. If it's kinkier then imo you live with their decision. Many of these guys will sulk if their OH said they wanted to try bi mmf, gangbang, BBC etc.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes there are women who won't do those things just as there are men who won't do certain things. Nobody has to do every sexual thing available and nobody has to do stuff just because their partner wants them to.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

course there are people like that. and i'm very convinced of it coz of the amount of guys who expect selfish sex from us NSA women coz their partner won't give them selfish sex.

i've only ever met one guy who met me to give me oral coz his gf didn't enjoy receiving it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and also I don't do anal, trimming or swallowing cum. There are loads more things I enjoy doing though. Men and women who concentrate on what their partners can't or won't do have a very narrow view of the pleasures of sexual contact in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ban sex completely - go on date nights

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By *istnbroke69Man
over a year ago

Cheshire / Shropshire

Sometimes people grow apart, the fizz goes but friendship lasts forever.

Both parties probably to scared of change..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to them.

We rarely have sex in the week because both of us are shattered with work etc so weekend are our special times. We have a special word (don't laugh) its walnut whip so if any one of us as got the horn we know. It's daft I know but works for us.

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By *istnbroke69Man
over a year ago

Cheshire / Shropshire

Thats quite cute that x

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"Talk to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Join fabswingers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

course there are people like that. and i'm very convinced of it coz of the amount of guys who expect selfish sex from us NSA women coz their partner won't give them selfish sex.

i've only ever met one guy who met me to give me oral coz his gf didn't enjoy receiving it. "

Things like that almost make me feel bad for them, like if I met a guy who didn't enjoy having a tongue up his bum I wouldn't meet him again. It's something I really enjoy doing so I'd have to have a guy that enjoyed having it done.

That army guy I dated a few years back was very alpha male very manly, nothing's going in my arse kind of guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I doubt very much that all these attached guys who claim to not be getting any sex at home are being truthful. I think most just want to have their cake and eat it.

They are perfectly happy in their relationship but just like the thrill of the chase and want to prove to themselves that they've still got it."
Some just cant help themselves . And Some will say and do what ever to get there leg over .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

course there are people like that. and i'm very convinced of it coz of the amount of guys who expect selfish sex from us NSA women coz their partner won't give them selfish sex.

i've only ever met one guy who met me to give me oral coz his gf didn't enjoy receiving it.

That army guy I dated a few years back was very alpha male very manly, nothing's going in my arse kind of guy.

Before he went to sleep I told him that as soon as he's sleeping I'm gonna suck his dick and stick my tongue up his arse which I did and he woke and enjoyed it. After that he would go to sleep in the recovery position so I had full access to his arse hole. That was my solution but guys can't really do that to their partners can they. "
over the years I have done most things even milking men ... it would turn me on doing weird things at times as love the dom and sub play . Its just I love doing this with others as other half hated it all ... No bum play for him .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to talk to them about what you like and want.

Everything else just has follow after that..

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

course there are people like that. and i'm very convinced of it coz of the amount of guys who expect selfish sex from us NSA women coz their partner won't give them selfish sex.

i've only ever met one guy who met me to give me oral coz his gf didn't enjoy receiving it.

That army guy I dated a few years back was very alpha male very manly, nothing's going in my arse kind of guy.

at least you sorted that out and are thinking about that compatibility with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges? "
We would go too clubs and do our own thing and we loved it . A lot of couples do there own things and not together some like it better that way ... Some will think fab has helped keep them together too and think what the other person don't know will not hurt them.

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By *evilinsidemeMan
over a year ago

Trim

"ban sex completely - go on date nights "

Date night idea.....Good

Ban sex idea.......bad

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges? "

for me feeling safe will encourage me to experiment with guys. i did a lot with my loving ex that i never did with my flakey one. and that's coz i trusted him.

i really feel like shit men will get shit sex. it's a generalisation based off my own experiences with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think if your not having sex and gone off sex with other half ... You should go back to date nights .... Not even think about sex .... Get to like each other again and take time for each other And just maybe sex will come after a time .

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges? "

Talk !

For me I have my kinks, my red lines, and stuff that doesn't work (I think) for me.. but will try if asked ...

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Yes.

I ain't sticking my tongue up anyones arse. I know that's your thing, but not for me thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges?

for me feeling safe will encourage me to experiment with guys. i did a lot with my loving ex that i never did with my flakey one. and that's coz i trusted him.

i really feel like shit men will get shit sex. it's a generalisation based off my own experiences with them."

I hate my ex but I used to wonder if he had the same sex with his new gf when they first got together. We were together 9 years and he was equally as much of a sick pup as I was and a few years back (4 years into him being with his present gf) he asked if we could just have one filthy night for old times sake, I told him to go and whistle but he asked me how he could get his gf to do some of the things we did, he said how she would call him a pervert or told him not to be so disgusting if he suggested some of the things that we used to do.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges?

for me feeling safe will encourage me to experiment with guys. i did a lot with my loving ex that i never did with my flakey one. and that's coz i trusted him.

i really feel like shit men will get shit sex. it's a generalisation based off my own experiences with them.

he's picked someone not sexually compatible, not sure if he could ever got someone like that to experiment then.

but i do feel a lot of guys could be having better sex if they weren't shit and made their partner feel safe and trustworthy. and fun as well. you see fun bandied about like it's our default state, and maybe it is not -especially not with strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges?

for me feeling safe will encourage me to experiment with guys. i did a lot with my loving ex that i never did with my flakey one. and that's coz i trusted him.

i really feel like shit men will get shit sex. it's a generalisation based off my own experiences with them.

I'm in a similar situation. He said women usually open up after some time when they start to trust the man. But by then they're already quite deep in a relationship before they realise they are incompatible sexually.

He wants his girlfriend 'for the future' but he still wants to fuck me. (He won't ever cheat, he just thinks about fucking me.)

I think women daren't be open sexually in a relationship in case the man thinks she's a filthy whore.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges?

for me feeling safe will encourage me to experiment with guys. i did a lot with my loving ex that i never did with my flakey one. and that's coz i trusted him.

i really feel like shit men will get shit sex. it's a generalisation based off my own experiences with them.

He wants his girlfriend 'for the future' but he still wants to fuck me. (He won't ever cheat, he just thinks about fucking me.)

I think women daren't be open sexually in a relationship in case the man thinks she's a filthy whore.

that's a good point. 'men' don't want slags for relationships.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

that's a good point. 'men' don't want slags for relationships.

There! You see them on here looking for that extra piece but why not make the slag the wifey! I wouldn't say we were slags either, just sexual beings.

I suppose then though some men would go sneaking around looking for someone to nag them to load the dishwasher or tell them they have headaches and/or too tired.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Don't know whether to LOL or

at some advice here, if it was as straightforward as "just talk" then many would have already done it.

There are some on here who want the notches on the bedpost, fair enough but that's not everyone.

There are some who want more interesting or different sex that they can't get from their partner, that's not everyone either.

There are plenty who don't put enough effort into their relationship, but again do don't assume that's everyone.

If there was a simple way to improve it, I would have done it by now and I've tried all the advice above. I'm told that all of that is fine yet the intimacy still doesn't come. I don't know what the answer is, probably being on here isn't it.

But offering advice like it's obvious and will definitely work is somewhere between arrogant and naive.

Still, no matter how much I hate my situation and myself, reading some of the stuff in this thread makes it much worse.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

that's a good point. 'men' don't want slags for relationships.

There! You see them on here looking for that extra piece but why not make the slag the wifey! I wouldn't say we were slags either, just sexual beings.

I suppose then though some men would go sneaking around looking for someone to nag them to load the dishwasher or tell them they have headaches and/or too tired. "

hahaha, oh god that last line.

yeah my terminology wasn't great and i know i'm too blunt but that basically is the gist of it for many guys.

they want good sex with someone they can use, they dehumanise us. it's why a lot of them approach us like we're crap initially. right from the off there's no respect.

they want a partner who is human, who makes them feel like they are are worthy to be alive after fucking somebody they thought of as a sex doll.

they need to get on top of their shit really and start looking at us as people too. but we're no, for many men, and so ...idk i feel really upset now thinking about this and lost my train of thought but i really struggle with being a sexual being coz i know most men think we are shit because of it. and i hate men for that, really fucking do. it's why i hate them approaching me sexually, i don't think they're worthy of my body coz i know exactly what they're thinking about it...tha it's their for short term use and to fix their needs and i just can't stand NSA sex any more.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Yes

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"So what's the solution for people that want their partners to be a tiny bit filthier? Do they just have to put up with it or look for someone that will satisfy their urges?

for me feeling safe will encourage me to experiment with guys. i did a lot with my loving ex that i never did with my flakey one. and that's coz i trusted him.

i really feel like shit men will get shit sex. it's a generalisation based off my own experiences with them.

He wants his girlfriend 'for the future' but he still wants to fuck me. (He won't ever cheat, he just thinks about fucking me.)

I think women daren't be open sexually in a relationship in case the man thinks she's a filthy whore.

that's a good point. 'men' don't want slags for relationships.

There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't give anyone advice on how to help their partner become interested in sex. Without input from the partner as to why they have gone off sex, it would be pointless.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"I wouldn't give anyone advice on how to help their partner become interested in sex. Without input from the partner as to why they have gone off sex, it would be pointless.

This is spot on I think - it's not an issue that just one side can change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wank and for the woman, the wand

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I've tried plenty of things to bring the spice back with my other half.

Date nights ~ they fizzled out.

Massage ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Odd evening out at the pub without the kids ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Sex toys ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Going to a club ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Bringing a lady into the equation ~ I get accused of being a perv.

See the pattern here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't know whether to LOL or

at some advice here, if it was as straightforward as "just talk" then many would have already done it.

There are some on here who want the notches on the bedpost, fair enough but that's not everyone.

There are some who want more interesting or different sex that they can't get from their partner, that's not everyone either.

There are plenty who don't put enough effort into their relationship, but again do don't assume that's everyone.

But offering advice like it's obvious and will definitely work is somewhere between arrogant and naive.

Still, no matter how much I hate my situation and myself, reading some of the stuff in this thread makes it much worse."

What's your story (in a nut shell) and I'm not going to judge. I feel like making a second profile saying will do everything your wife won't! I feel like there's 100's of guys that would put a good shift in cos they're grateful for sex, this could be an untapped resource for me!

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"I've tried plenty of things to bring the spice back with my other half.

Date nights ~ they fizzled out.

Massage ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Odd evening out at the pub without the kids ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Sex toys ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Going to a club ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Bringing a lady into the equation ~ I get accused of being a perv.

See the pattern here?

Sucks. Do you know what yr OH would need to change to feel like having sex more often ?

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys."

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about the guys who want a relationship with a 'nice' girl but are willing to use slutty women for the nasty stuff and so they cheat.

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

Move on, my ex was a frigid freak and did bugger all. Wish id got rid sooner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex became aggressive and controlling, so sex became infrequent. Who wants sex with someone who's mean. And it became repetitive, vanilla sex. He wouldn't entertain anything beyond us two. I'm single now.

But generally, most relationships go thru dry spells. Couple's I've known who've lasted say a relationship is like a job. You get out what you put in.

The no touching game can be a real turn on. It's like breaking the rules.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"I've tried plenty of things to bring the spice back with my other half.

Date nights ~ they fizzled out.

Massage ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Odd evening out at the pub without the kids ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Sex toys ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Going to a club ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Bringing a lady into the equation ~ I get accused of being a perv.

See the pattern here?

Sucks. Do you know what yr OH would need to change to feel like having sex more often ?"

Yes, his attitude!!!

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys.

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about the guys who want a relationship with a 'nice' girl but are willing to use slutty women for the nasty stuff and so they cheat."

So, some men are twats then ? Steer clear imo. But some men aren't... so don't get disheartened... just choosy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a 98 year, and a 364 day old man, OP I will message you tamara.

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"I've tried plenty of things to bring the spice back with my other half.

Date nights ~ they fizzled out.

Massage ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Odd evening out at the pub without the kids ~ Always the expectation of sex afterwards.

Sex toys ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Going to a club ~ I get accused of being a perv.

Bringing a lady into the equation ~ I get accused of being a perv.

See the pattern here?

Sucks. Do you know what yr OH would need to change to feel like having sex more often ?

Yes, his attitude!!!"

Lol if that was meant to be in jest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't know whether to LOL or

at some advice here, if it was as straightforward as "just talk" then many would have already done it.

There are some on here who want the notches on the bedpost, fair enough but that's not everyone.

There are some who want more interesting or different sex that they can't get from their partner, that's not everyone either.

There are plenty who don't put enough effort into their relationship, but again do don't assume that's everyone.

But offering advice like it's obvious and will definitely work is somewhere between arrogant and naive.

Still, no matter how much I hate my situation and myself, reading some of the stuff in this thread makes it much worse.

I had a 2 year sexual relationship with a married man for that reason. We started off just chatting online and he eventually asked to meet me. I did what his wife didn't want to do. I needed it as much as he did.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys.

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about the guys who want a relationship with a 'nice' girl but are willing to use slutty women for the nasty stuff and so they cheat.

So, some men are twats then ? Steer clear imo. But some men aren't... so don't get disheartened... just choosy. "

yes, twats is a good word for them.

i steer clear of all men mostly, i'm really cynical since using this site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys.

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about the guys who want a relationship with a 'nice' girl but are willing to use slutty women for the nasty stuff and so they cheat."

Why do they do that? Why not just marry nasty in the first place? Do they think they'll cheat or be too much maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a man or woman is not getting sex from their partner, what things can they do to try and spice things up at home? "

Wank in the shower.

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys.

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about the guys who want a relationship with a 'nice' girl but are willing to use slutty women for the nasty stuff and so they cheat.

Why do they do that? Why not just marry nasty in the first place? Do they think they'll cheat or be too much maybe? "

Dare I say because there are other reasons they don't wanna date the person? A half decent person either dates someone who ticks all their boxes, accepts a compromise or stays single.

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By *annylickerMan
over a year ago

Chester-le-Street

What if the woman has had medical problems, and is still having issues.

Especially if their sex-drive was lower than partners, then got lower after that.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys.

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about the guys who want a relationship with a 'nice' girl but are willing to use slutty women for the nasty stuff and so they cheat.

Why do they do that? Why not just marry nasty in the first place? Do they think they'll cheat or be too much maybe? "

could be all sorts of things. me and heels have talked about this before so she'd have some good answers too.

what you've just said are valid reasons yep. their own sexual insecurity.

also they just think they should marry a nice girl, and coz patriarchy has existed for a long time this is ingrained into most cultures somewhat. then they realise it's not sexually fulfilling, so to partly not hurt their partner and partly to not get involved with a slag they dehumanise her, she is only sex worthy.

some people just like having a naive partner and enjoy cheating behind her back and so have an idea someone more sexually knowledgeable would figure them out so they avoid for that reason.

i'm sure there's more reasons i can't think of right now.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"There are plenty of couples on here with *slag* females (if that's what we're calling them).

This feels like the gal equivalent of girls don't like nice guys.

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about the guys who want a relationship with a 'nice' girl but are willing to use slutty women for the nasty stuff and so they cheat.

Why do they do that? Why not just marry nasty in the first place? Do they think they'll cheat or be too much maybe?

Dare I say because there are other reasons they don't wanna date the person? A half decent person either dates someone who ticks all their boxes, accepts a compromise or stays single. "

we're talking about twats though and not decent people.

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

100%. And who wants to date a twat ?

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"100%. And who wants to date a twat ?"

oh yeah. really good point that.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Haha there is a rumour that some join fab and on their own would you believe !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha there is a rumour that some join fab and on their own would you believe !!!

"
I believe ... And I am sure it has helped some stay together too.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Haha there is a rumour that some join fab and on their own would you believe !!!

I believe ... And I am sure it has helped some stay together too."

I happen to know that is a fact too !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha there is a rumour that some join fab and on their own would you believe !!!

I believe ... And I am sure it has helped some stay together too.

I happen to know that is a fact too !

"
I think people do what is wright for them .. Who are we to say how they live there life as we don't know the ins and outs.... Only thing I ask is let me know so I have the choice ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?"

I put the hoover around, I made the dinner, I washed the clothes, I did pretty much everything while she sat on her arse with her hand out, playing FarmVille and generally having a good time. After twenty years of it, I left. Best thing I did for myself. No matter what one person does, it's never enough for the other person and your just fooling yourself that something will change. Unless the person changes and wants to make that change, you cannot do it for them.

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By *eppoMan
over a year ago

London Colney

Yes I've got an old friend who's suffering exactly this..

She's the breadwinner ..

Runs the whole shabang of the family ...

He's not interested in any intimacy / sex with her ...

Obviously this is VERY frustrating for her ...

She's only late 30's so life can't continue like this ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes I've got an old friend who's suffering exactly this..

She's the breadwinner ..

Runs the whole shabang of the family ...

He's not interested in any intimacy / sex with her ...

Obviously this is VERY frustrating for her ...

She's only late 30's so life can't continue like this ...

In this case he may be feeling a bit emasculated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?"

And you believe them!!!???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?

And you believe them!!!???

So it's not true then and every attached person (playing without consent) is on here because their sex life is fully fulfilled at home?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?

And you believe them!!!???

So it's not true then and every attached person (playing without consent) is on here because their sex life is fully fulfilled at home? "

I have to admit not necessarily ?? however doesn't the word attached mean just that?? If I were then I'd have no need to be on here, if things weren't working between the sheets then I'd talk through things with my better half.....I wouldn't go behind their back to solve my carnal desires, I've got a right hand that'll help to an extent lol, but hey, that's just me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?

And you believe them!!!???

So it's not true then and every attached person (playing without consent) is on here because their sex life is fully fulfilled at home?

That's what I'm trying to help solve. Sometimes a wank just isn't enough, talking doesn't seem to be doing anything either, there must be some solution to help couples start having regular sex again.

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?

And you believe them!!!???

So it's not true then and every attached person (playing without consent) is on here because their sex life is fully fulfilled at home?

That's what I'm trying to help solve. Sometimes a wank just isn't enough, talking doesn't seem to be doing anything either, there must be some solution to help couples start having regular sex again. "

If there was a magic pill, my guess is the straying guy isn't gonna swallow it when it's given by a hot fab gal ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But we (women) have loads of messages off married and attached guys, what advice can we give so they don't want to stray. The common reason seems to be that the partner simply doesn't want sex.

I tell guys that they should put the hoover round and do dishes and compliment their partner and maybe have a date night every week.

What else can they do?

And you believe them!!!???

So it's not true then and every attached person (playing without consent) is on here because their sex life is fully fulfilled at home?

Lol, you're right, sometimes a wank isn't enough! Sometimes it's not all about lack of desire though, sometimes stress, family, work all play a factor, but as you say without talking there's no other option than counselling! Someone impartial and not necessarily on a swinging site lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would actually like to give counselling sessions to these straying husbands.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I would actually like to give counselling sessions to these straying husbands."

And would your well-qualified advice apply equally to these straying wives?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would actually like to give counselling sessions to these straying husbands.

And would your well-qualified advice apply equally to these straying wives?"

It's a tough one with the wives cos I can't imagine a guy not wanting sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would actually like to give counselling sessions to these straying husbands."

Yeah I'm sure there wives would embrace it

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Stop walking down the same path, 'cos it's odd how you always end up at the same place, only thing that changes are the ruts get deeper.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I would actually like to give counselling sessions to these straying husbands.

And would your well-qualified advice apply equally to these straying wives?

It's a tough one with the wives cos I can't imagine a guy not wanting sex. "

Some research is required then I feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would actually like to give counselling sessions to these straying husbands.

And would your well-qualified advice apply equally to these straying wives?

It's a tough one with the wives cos I can't imagine a guy not wanting sex.

Some research is required then I feel

I did not want or have sex with my wife for 5 years prior to leaving. It all depends on the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some here will only meet married men .

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Apparently have an affair.. I appear to have made their marriage stronger!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Apparently have an affair.. I appear to have made their marriage stronger!"

No just have an affair, kind of dictates the next move...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I doubt very much that all these attached guys who claim to not be getting any sex at home are being truthful. I think most just want to have their cake and eat it.

They are perfectly happy in their relationship but just like the thrill of the chase and want to prove to themselves that they've still got it."

Or perhaps we're (I mean .. they're) looking to indulge a kink or connection that doesn't exist at home, despite everything else being perfect. That could be having your cake and eating it but I think it's a little deeper xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I doubt very much that all these attached guys who claim to not be getting any sex at home are being truthful. I think most just want to have their cake and eat it.

They are perfectly happy in their relationship but just like the thrill of the chase and want to prove to themselves that they've still got it.

But how can they indulge their kinks at home, is it possible I could make men that want to stray not want to stray.

Are there any success stories from men that have managed to turn their sex lives at home around and have fulfilling sex again and not want to cheat?

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

I don't think there's anything you can do. I think if a guys got in a position where he's looking on fab then it's a lot deeper than just having an itch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" anyone would want him as a husband as he was great around the house.

Sometimes women just don't want sex and it wouldn't matter what their life was like with their husband/ wife or how much talking they had done it won't change anything.

This is pretty much my situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love a swinging relationship where neither of us is jealous and we are enjoying new sexual experiences together.

But I know I don't work like that.

I can be the guest star with a couple but I would hate it if my man was fucking another woman.

I'm not going to over analyse it that's just how I feel.

I think the sex gets stale in every relationship.

And one way to spice it up is to bring other people in.

Not everyone can do that.

The longer I stay single the more I think I'd rather be in a sexless relationship than be on my own!

That's why I don't judge the cheaters on here.

I get it.

I'm just glad it's not me that's being lied to!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm just glad it's not me that's being lied to!

Do you know something, it's the lying that would hurt me the most.

If I found myself a boyfriend I would tell him that if he had the opportunity for sex, lads night out, holiday etc, then he could fuck someone as long as he used protection and told me about it afterwards.

It's the messaging and the emotion that would hurt me more. Just a fuck I could handle, but couldn't stand the thought of him thinking he had some secret from me.

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

I'm just glad it's not me that's being lied to!

Do you know something, it's the lying that would hurt me the most.

It's the messaging and the emotion that would hurt me more. Just a fuck I could handle, but couldn't stand the thought of him thinking he had some secret from me. "

I agree. Emotional cheating is harder to forgive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just glad it's not me that's being lied to!

Do you know something, it's the lying that would hurt me the most.

It's the messaging and the emotion that would hurt me more. Just a fuck I could handle, but couldn't stand the thought of him thinking he had some secret from me. "

Yes it's the intimacy with someone else.

I have been in a relationship where I cheated and it was because I am highly sexed and he just wasn't giving me what I needed.

Not making excuses - that's just as it was.

I would like to have told him that it was just a fuck but it wasn't the sexual acts with the other person made it an intimate rlationship.

We ended up together for 4 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently have an affair.. I appear to have made their marriage stronger!"

Sometimes your perceptions of what's happening are wrong.

Maybe having an affair caused fear. You're not just the other woman...youre as important as anyone else in the equation. We all get hurt, but you have to work at recovering. It takes a very long time sometimes.

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

" anyone would want him as a husband as he was great around the house.

Sometimes women just don't want sex and it wouldn't matter what their life was like with their husband/ wife or how much talking they had done it won't change anything.

This is pretty much my situation."
And would you miss one another if you broke/split up and see how long that lasted you could make your mind up from there and if you could,nt talk after that or meet in the middle then you,d have to decide on what the future held for you both why be unhappy when you don,t have to be.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

"Apparently have an affair.. I appear to have made their marriage stronger!

Sometimes your perceptions of what's happening are wrong.

Refreshing to read that on here, most would have me burned like a witch!

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