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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. "not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her. "You could ask on her behalf... That's what friends are for | |||
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"May not be something she can do Early on- but she can speak to her colostomy nurse. Basically you can irrigate the stoma to empty it- similar to having a enema or colonic I suppose. Then you can get a cap to put on so she can still go ahead and wear that underwear on occasions. I used to know of a gentleman that did that every morning and would go about life as normal in the day without a bag, then would wear a night bag. It's definitely worth looking into" oh thank you. She doesn't want to wear these all the time but she is off to Whitby soon and would like to get something for that. It's worth knowing and she is a little shy to ask things that doesn't seem important to most people... but it is to her so I ask on her behalf. ( sometimes at the hospital she wanted to kill me I think as I always ask the questions everyone else wont but she thinks im great mostly lol )  | |||
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"Can someone good at sewing make alterations to the lingerie to accomodate the bag? Or like a lacy bag cover to hide it? " I've already had a go with some ruffled panties which she loves. Had to go a size bigger and then adjust slightly x she also has a band to cover it that we brought some fancy blaxk and red lace to accessorize it. But maybe someone that makes Basques could have some ideas or even make it so it's like an over waist one. So many ideas though thanks. | |||
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"Can't add to the information, but I just wanted to comment on how sensitive and thoughtful this post is. Renews your faith in humanity..." Well said. .... x | |||
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"Google Jasmine Stacey. And 'lingerie colostomy' x  "A lot of these seem to rely on the stoma being quite low down - and again, I can't see why a regular corset wouldn't do unless your stima was oddly low. Also, Comfizz stuff is really badly made. | |||
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"Google Jasmine Stacey. And 'lingerie colostomy' x
A lot of these seem to rely on the stoma being quite low down - and again, I can't see why a regular corset wouldn't do unless your stima was oddly low.
Also, Comfizz stuff is really badly made. "Sorry I have no medical background or any info at all really. Was just trying to help.  | |||
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"Google Jasmine Stacey. And 'lingerie colostomy' x
A lot of these seem to rely on the stoma being quite low down - and again, I can't see why a regular corset wouldn't do unless your stima was oddly low.
Also, Comfizz stuff is really badly made.
Sorry I have no medical background or any info at all really. Was just trying to help. "I have no medical background either, but I have had a stoma since I was 22.... | |||
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"*raised hand* I am part of the Colostomy party. I resonate what everyone else has said this thread is brilliant and givea me the feels. Very thoughtful OP! Mine had to be a little higher than it normally be due to issues during surgery which puts it right at the waist line. I specific type of trousers etc thay work by having a higher waist line but not appear like they do. Not specially made just a certain style. When it comes to tight fitting clothes, I had spoken to my nurse about it previously just for closer fitting tops or different styles of trousers and she gave me the advice if it's a one time event etc. You can either use a tampon (weird I know and also nuh uh for me thanks) or use loperamide to slow the system down for 24 hours. It has always worked for me but don't use it often. Means I feel comfortable with tighter clothes over the area. Sometimes I use a body wrap when it comes down to play or sex combined with loperamide. Not sure it's a solution for everyone as it's medication at the end of the day "Mine is quite high because low-waisted trousers were in at the time and I din't want to have to tuck the thing under the waistband of my trousers. I wer one of the support belt things from Comfizz all of the time (although I wear a lumbar support backwards for Rugby and squats/deadlift) cos I don't swant it flapping about. Problem with the belts is the stitching disintigrates in the wash. I have heard some say that tube skirts for adolescents are better modded for this purpose. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for "I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to. If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't. It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck. "I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing. "OP could avoid any confusuion by asking her friend - although in my case, unless you were family, asking would probably be met with a "fuck you very much" response. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
OP could avoid any confusuion by asking her friend - although in my case, unless you were family, asking would probably be met with a "fuck you very much" response. "Lovely. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing. "Not necessarily a male mindset I would definitely like the same. The way I see it is the more comfortable you are with it the more you are open about it and hence look for advice and feel comfortable discussing it. Although, again, that is just based on me and my experience | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
OP could avoid any confusuion by asking her friend - although in my case, unless you were family, asking would probably be met with a "fuck you very much" response.
Lovely. "I believe that how I go to the toilet is my own business and not a matter for public discussion, unless I specifically raise it (as I have done on this thread, for example). | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
Not necessarily a male mindset I would definitely like the same. The way I see it is the more comfortable you are with it the more you are open about it and hence look for advice and feel comfortable discussing it. Although, again, that is just based on me and my experience"I'm very comfortable with my bag, I've had it for 15 odd years, and thats kind of my point. I have got used to it, to the point that I can hardly remember not having it. Which is why I find it odd that other people might feel like they have some input. I'd view it in a smilar way to anyone thinking hey can comment about anything else to do with my body. If I ws overweight, should I welcome unsolicited advice from others on how to lose that weight? I think not. Our bodies are our own business unless we specifically ask for an opinion. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
Not necessarily a male mindset I would definitely like the same. The way I see it is the more comfortable you are with it the more you are open about it and hence look for advice and feel comfortable discussing it. Although, again, that is just based on me and my experience
I'm very comfortable with my bag, I've had it for 15 odd years, and thats kind of my point. I have got used to it, to the point that I can hardly remember not having it. Which is why I find it odd that other people might feel like they have some input. I'd view it in a smilar way to anyone thinking hey can comment about anything else to do with my body. If I ws overweight, should I welcome unsolicited advice from others on how to lose that weight? I think not. Our bodies are our own business unless we specifically ask for an opinion. "We're not talking about unsolicited advice though, are we? It's a different thing. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
Not necessarily a male mindset I would definitely like the same. The way I see it is the more comfortable you are with it the more you are open about it and hence look for advice and feel comfortable discussing it. Although, again, that is just based on me and my experience
I'm very comfortable with my bag, I've had it for 15 odd years, and thats kind of my point. I have got used to it, to the point that I can hardly remember not having it. Which is why I find it odd that other people might feel like they have some input. I'd view it in a smilar way to anyone thinking hey can comment about anything else to do with my body. If I ws overweight, should I welcome unsolicited advice from others on how to lose that weight? I think not. Our bodies are our own business unless we specifically ask for an opinion.
We're not talking about unsolicited advice though, are we? It's a different thing."We have no idea - the OP doesn't say if their fiend asked for any advice, which is my point. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
Not necessarily a male mindset I would definitely like the same. The way I see it is the more comfortable you are with it the more you are open about it and hence look for advice and feel comfortable discussing it. Although, again, that is just based on me and my experience
I'm very comfortable with my bag, I've had it for 15 odd years, and thats kind of my point. I have got used to it, to the point that I can hardly remember not having it. Which is why I find it odd that other people might feel like they have some input. I'd view it in a smilar way to anyone thinking hey can comment about anything else to do with my body. If I ws overweight, should I welcome unsolicited advice from others on how to lose that weight? I think not. Our bodies are our own business unless we specifically ask for an opinion.
We're not talking about unsolicited advice though, are we? It's a different thing.
We have no idea - the OP doesn't say if their fiend asked for any advice, which is my point. "It kinda does imply that though. There's obviously been some communication whether that was asking for advice or not. My point being that if I'd opened some sort of communication (not necessarily asking for advice) about an issue and my friends tried to help, I'd actually find it pretty lovely. Different strokes for different folks, innit. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
Not necessarily a male mindset I would definitely like the same. The way I see it is the more comfortable you are with it the more you are open about it and hence look for advice and feel comfortable discussing it. Although, again, that is just based on me and my experience
I'm very comfortable with my bag, I've had it for 15 odd years, and thats kind of my point. I have got used to it, to the point that I can hardly remember not having it. Which is why I find it odd that other people might feel like they have some input. I'd view it in a smilar way to anyone thinking hey can comment about anything else to do with my body. If I ws overweight, should I welcome unsolicited advice from others on how to lose that weight? I think not. Our bodies are our own business unless we specifically ask for an opinion.
We're not talking about unsolicited advice though, are we? It's a different thing.
We have no idea - the OP doesn't say if their fiend asked for any advice, which is my point.
It kinda does imply that though. There's obviously been some communication whether that was asking for advice or not.
My point being that if I'd opened some sort of communication (not necessarily asking for advice) about an issue and my friends tried to help, I'd actually find it pretty lovely.
Different strokes for different folks, innit. "So; if I was overweight, and I'd mentioned it to you in passing, you'd feel fine about going away, researching and suggesting me diets to go on? | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
Not necessarily a male mindset I would definitely like the same. The way I see it is the more comfortable you are with it the more you are open about it and hence look for advice and feel comfortable discussing it. Although, again, that is just based on me and my experience
I'm very comfortable with my bag, I've had it for 15 odd years, and thats kind of my point. I have got used to it, to the point that I can hardly remember not having it. Which is why I find it odd that other people might feel like they have some input. I'd view it in a smilar way to anyone thinking hey can comment about anything else to do with my body. If I ws overweight, should I welcome unsolicited advice from others on how to lose that weight? I think not. Our bodies are our own business unless we specifically ask for an opinion.
We're not talking about unsolicited advice though, are we? It's a different thing.
We have no idea - the OP doesn't say if their fiend asked for any advice, which is my point.
It kinda does imply that though. There's obviously been some communication whether that was asking for advice or not.
My point being that if I'd opened some sort of communication (not necessarily asking for advice) about an issue and my friends tried to help, I'd actually find it pretty lovely.
Different strokes for different folks, innit.
So; if I was overweight, and I'd mentioned it to you in passing, you'd feel fine about going away, researching and suggesting me diets to go on?"Completely. Although I ask my girlfriends to pluck out ingrown pubic hairs so I obviously have no concept of boundaries. | |||
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"Anyhoo, everyone's different let's get back to the awesomeness of the OP's post :D *throws grenade of misdirection*" Seconded. All who have offered advice mean well. Its an emotive subject. Lets not fall out. | |||
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"Anyhoo, everyone's different let's get back to the awesomeness of the OP's post :D *throws grenade of misdirection* Seconded. All who have offered advice mean well. Its an emotive subject. Lets not fall out." Yeah, people who "mean well" who offer me advice unsolicited on how I might manage my defecation can essentially go fuck themselves. | |||
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"Anyhoo, everyone's different let's get back to the awesomeness of the OP's post :D *throws grenade of misdirection* Seconded. All who have offered advice mean well. Its an emotive subject. Lets not fall out. Yeah, people who "mean well" who offer me advice unsolicited on how I might manage my defecation can essentially go fuck themselves. " It's a good job that no one here has actually offered unsolicited advice to you about managing your defecation, isn't it. In fact, my original point was about *friends* researching and looking into certain aspects of my condition. As someone has suggested the OP do. | |||
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"Has your friend contacted the Colostomy Association? They have a website by that name and offer support and advice to people in her situation .. not sure she feels confident enough to ask about nice underwear but will ask her.
You could ask on her behalf...
That's what friends are for
I wouldn't do that unless she asked you to.
If I found out someone had been doing something for me out of pity, I'd find it mildly vomit-inducing. Equally, I wouldn't appreciate anyone elses input on my pants unless I specifically asked them, and believe me, I wouldn't.
It's nice that you care for your friend, but please be aware that her stoma is her burden to bear and unless you are specifically asked to help, it's patronising as fuck.
I think that's probably more of a male mindset. If my friends tried to help me with my condition, I'd actually find it really endearing.
OP could avoid any confusuion by asking her friend - although in my case, unless you were family, asking would probably be met with a "fuck you very much" response. "she has already asked me if I can help hence the already altered clothing. | |||
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"there is a couple on here (name i cant recall) - but the lady has one and is quite open about it - i will see if i can find her - sure she will have ideas - but yes nothing too tight fitting and more importantly just to tell whoever youre meeting - most wont mind x" its a vanilla friend and sex isnt the issue.. Just that she is into vintage underwear And misses nice underwear x | |||
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"there is a couple on here (name i cant recall) - but the lady has one and is quite open about it - i will see if i can find her - sure she will have ideas - but yes nothing too tight fitting and more importantly just to tell whoever youre meeting - most wont mind x its a vanilla friend and sex isnt the issue.. Just that she is into vintage underwear And misses nice underwear x" Such a frustrating situation. Wish I had more suggestions too *kicks the dirt* | |||
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