I used to have a "friend" at school. For the purposes of this narrative we'll call him John, because that was his name. Anyway, John was a bit of a bible thumper. Actually quite a lot of a bible thumper to be fair. His dad was a vicar, and an absolutely top bloke. John was an annoying holier-than-thou smug little nob that would go on and on about how we were all going to go to hell unless we joined his right-on youth church self-congratulatory circle wank group thing. How he didn't get shown the blue goldfish in the school bogs on a daily basis, I have no idea. But I digress. John married young, the whole celibacy before marriage thing was another one of his frequent bible-bore topics, so he was far more smug and aloof about his equally snotty judgemental godbothering wife than a reasonable person might be. Anyway, the pair of them were as annoying as balls. Nonetheless, I had them both on my Facebook because I was young and insecure and worried that I didn't have enough friends, and what they might think if I un-friended the twats. So this one morning, I logged onto Facebook as usual during my morning dump, and John's smug face on my news feed was accompanied by a big veiny glistening cock, and the above MILEY CYRUS VIDEO etc message, and an accompanying message in my inbox with the same spurious link. You know those dodgy clickbait virus things that were all the rage way back when (and I'm talking Hannah Montana, not Wrecking Ball) that if you're dumb enough to click on, it plasters itself all over your Facebook and messages every person on your friend list? Yeah, one of them. "Naughty naughty boy" thinks me. "You're gonna be right in the shit when wifey spots that."
Later that evening or the following day a very righteous indignant status appears on his page. "I'm really sorry to anybody offended by what happened yesterday, obviously I was hacked. I'm furious about it and will be taking appropriate action when I find out who it was."
Nah, I'm not having that, I decides. So underneath all the "oh my god that's awful" replies I added my own thoughts: "probably your own fault for clicking on a link that said 'MILEY CYRUS NAKED COCK SUCKING HOME VIDEO' to be honest mate."
Funnily enough he and his wife both un-friended me shortly after that...
Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this story. Other than the moral that one should avoid clicking on anything that says MILEY CYRUS NAKED COCK SUCKING HOME MOVIE.
Yes, I'm looking at you. |
You gonna friend him on Fab then???
He's probably here already... 
?
