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Help the wife's disappeared

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By * Willis OP   Man
over a year ago

London

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:

What is her height?

Husband:

Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:

Weight?

Husband:

Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:

Color of eyes?

Husband:

Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant:

Color of hair?

Husband:

Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sergeant:

What was she wearing?

Husband:

Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant:

What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:

She went in my Jeep.

Sergeant:

What kind of Jeep was it?

Husband:

It's a 2010 Rubicon with Sprintex Supercharger with Intercooler, DiabloSport T-1000 Trinity Programmer, Teraflex Falcon 3.3 Shocks ,1350 RE Reel Drive Shafts, Method 105 Bead Locks, Toyo 37" X 13.5" Tires, Custom Olympic Off Road Front Bumper, Olympic Off Road Smuggler Rear Bumper with tire carrier, Seward Radius 4s LED Light, Seward 12" LED Light bar, 50" LED Light bar with, sPod LED switch pod with Boost gage,, Rigid LED Lights, 15# Power Tank, Rock Hard Cage, Rock Hard Under Armor, Posion Spyder Sliders, Posion Spyder Crusher Fenders, Posion Spyder Evap Armor, Posion Spyder Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, Bushwacker rear armor, 5.13 Gears, Magnum 44 Front Axle, Off Road Evolution "C" Gussets, Cobra 75 CB Radio, Warn 10K on Front and 8K Winch on Rear, Bartact Seat Covers, Delta Quad Bar Xenon Headlamps,Tantrum LED Offroad Rock Lights, Teraflex HD Tie Rod, Teraflex Falcon Steering Stabilizer, Teraflex Alpine Long Control Arms Front & Rear, Teraflex 4" springs, Teraflex JK Performance Slotted Big Rotor Kit, TeraFlex Monster HD Forged Front Adjustable Trackbar, Teraflex Front & Rear Brake Line Kit, Teraflex Bump Stops Front & Rear, Surprise Straps, Hothead Headliner, Teraflex D-44 Diff Covers, Wild Boar Grille, Rigid Ridge Hood, Drake Hood Latch's & a Tuffy Security Drawer

At this point the husband started choking up. . .

Sergeant:

Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Jeep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

Man: Doctor I think my wife is dead

Doctor: what makes you think that?

Man: well the sex is the same but the washing up is pilling up

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

My dad walked into my bedroom and caught me wanking once.

He said to me 'son if you keep doing that you'll go blind'

I said 'dad I'm over here'

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"My dad walked into my bedroom and caught me wanking once.

He said to me 'son if you keep doing that you'll go blind'

I said 'dad I'm over here'

"

hahaha.

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By *igger101ukMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Wife. Dear diary. I am so upset. He seems so distant. He spent the evening just staring into space and did not even notice my new hairdo. We went to bed and still he said nothing. I think there is someone else. Oh my goodness what ever am I going to do?

Hubby. Dear diary. I wonder what that funny noise is coming from the car?

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By *ornCouple
over a year ago

Sedgemoor

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqQgDwA0BNU

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My dad walked into my bedroom and caught me wanking once.

He said to me 'son if you keep doing that you'll go blind'

I said 'dad I'm over here'

"

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

Paddy is the pub one night, he spots a beautiful women across the bar, after few drinks for courage he decides to go and try his luck with this lady,

'May I buy you a drink pls miss, I've been watching you from afar and think you're beautiful' Paddys says to her

She replies " wow that really is very kind of you but unfortunately you're not my type"

Not to be put off Paddy try's to reason with her 'look you hardly know me, I promise I could be the man of your dreams'

" I'm sorry I don't think you quite understand what I saying to you, I'm actually a lesbian'

"Oh" says paddy "what part of lesbia are you from?"

The lady laughs "look let me explain, you see that gorgeous bar maid, well I'd like to go upto her and kiss her forcefully on her lips, then I'd like to rip her top open and suck hard on her nipples, i want to pull her mini skirt up and suck hard on her clit until she cums right on my tongue"

"Oh be Jesus Mary mother of god" replies paddy, " I think I maybe a lesbian too"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ticky_vikkiWoman
over a year ago

Herts


"Man: Doctor I think my wife is dead

Doctor: what makes you think that?

Man: well the sex is the same but the washing up is pilling up

Sorry

"

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By *ilverhaloMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Just had my best mate on the phone in tears..seems his girlfriend just left and took all of his Bob Marley CDs and his sattelite dish...

Poor bugger I feel for him

No Woman No Sky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LMAO here OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young man from Nantucket.

Whose dick was so big he could suck it.

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin

If my ear was a c..t i would fuck it.

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By * SCARED x STIFF xCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

There's a bloke on here called buster who keeps sending me excessive amounts of videos of 1970's glam rockers sweet, it's really starting to do my head in

Does anyone know a way

There's got to be a way

To block Buster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a bloke on here called buster who keeps sending me excessive amounts of videos of 1970's glam rockers sweet, it's really starting to do my head in

Does anyone know a way

There's got to be a way

To block Buster"

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