FabSwingers.com forum: Is fab not a sex site then ?

By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Outside of the forum , fab still appears to be very much a sex driven site ( thank goodness ) , but the forums have increasingly frowned upon those of us who prefer to choose it as an opportunity to meet up for casual nsa sex .

This seems to have happened way more in the past year or so , and to be honest it's a shame really for those of us who are not into the whole social thing .

Just wondered why it's changed so much , or are we missing something ?

Are all the others on here that are just seeing it as a sex site too busy out there doing it , rather than coming into the forum ?

Or are they afraid they'll get shot down in flames for daring to say that they are on here to have casual nsa sexual encounters ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love sex. I also love socialising. What I don't love is wasting my time.

Outside the forums, its wasted energy trying to get someone's attention. I've tried it a few times. Complete nothing back, ignored/deleted.

So in the forums I am, talking to people I like too far away.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

To be honest even before I came on to fab I always thought being a swinger was people meeting up socializing and having sex, The forums just add a bit of fun and help people get to know your personality before all that starts, I do recon a lot more people like the socializing side with like minded friends as much as the sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Outside of the forum , fab still appears to be very much a sex driven site ( thank goodness ) , but the forums have increasingly frowned upon those of us who prefer to choose it as an opportunity to meet up for casual nsa sex"

Personally, I don't think that it's the 'i'm only on Fab for NSA hookups' view that's being frowned upon.

What's being frowned upon is that many of the people who join Fab SOLELY for NSA hookups seem to be incapable of approaching prospective meets in a respectful manner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love sex. I also love socialising. What I don't love is wasting my time.

Outside the forums, its wasted energy trying to get someone's attention. I've tried it a few times. Complete nothing back, ignored/deleted.

So in the forums I am, talking to people I like too far away. "

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

I swing with couples, have NSA fun with singles and use the forum to talk bollocks. It's all good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on here a couple of years now and I've only recently even looked at the forums. I'm glad I have, they seem quite fun but I'm definitely here for the sex

No strings, no dramas, no games, no complications, just sex. I've met some great people and even made friends. To have sex with

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

I always think it should be what works for the individual/s, to be honest. There is a diverse population on here and I see that as a good thing, we are all looking for different things from the site. I enjoy the forums from a social point of view and we generally only meet at parties here and clubs abroad. So, I think something for everyone and use it in a way that suits you.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I think the irritation comes from those who insist because casual sex happens on this site, you should be down to fuck when they want it or you shouldn't be on this site. That entitlement is happening more often from those who join and expect instashag and the backlash so maybe that's where your feelings stem from?

As far as casual sex goes, I do it. But I don't harp on about it. Nor do I think I'm a rare breed. And I use the forums as well.

Maybe some forum users are like me?

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By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Personally, I don't think that it's the 'i'm only on Fab for NSA hookups' view that's being frowned upon.

What's being frowned upon is that many of the people who join Fab SOLELY for NSA hookups seem to be incapable of approaching prospective meets in a respectful manner.

That's a good point

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

I've never been one for social meets, the only meets I have had from here are the sexy time meets, if anyone disapproved it wouldn't stop me doing what I want to do, I don't think anyone has ever thought to themselves "what would the forum say" because I'm sure most of the forum wouldn't really care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the irritation comes from those who insist because casual sex happens on this site, you should be down to fuck when they want it or you shouldn't be on this site. That entitlement is happening more often from those who join and expect instashag and the backlash so maybe that's where your feelings stem from?

As far as casual sex goes, I do it. But I don't harp on about it. Nor do I think I'm a rare breed. And I use the forums as well.

Maybe some forum users are like me? "

Definitely this

Some people think we're sat online waiting for the "come and fuck me" message and frankly the forums are far more interesting than the people that said those kind of messages.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"I love sex. I also love socialising. What I don't love is wasting my time.

Outside the forums, its wasted energy trying to get someone's attention. I've tried it a few times. Complete nothing back, ignored/deleted.

So in the forums I am, talking to people I like too far away. "

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By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think there are loads of different ways of using the site. Some people are looking for long term relationships, some just for nsa sex and everything in between. It's a shame if anyone tries to impose their version of swinging on other people.

I say carry on doing what you do how you want until you want to do it differently.

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By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I think there are loads of different ways of using the site. Some people are looking for long term relationships, some just for nsa sex and everything in between. It's a shame if anyone tries to impose their version of swinging on other people.

I say carry on doing what you do how you want until you want to do it differently."

Totally agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

As a newbie can I just clarify what a "social meet" is? I was under the impression most people consider a swingers club as a social meet. That's not my bag but I'm a really social guy so I'd love to meet a local woman who would like a few drinks, maybe meal, cinema etc and then a bit of bedroom fun afterwards. Kind of like dating but with a fuck buddy approach. Then if both were busy the option of a quick bit of a fumble without the ties in other occasions.

Doesn't seem like that is too common on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience ."

Probably because those people who are interested in the full 'spectrum' of swinging - munches, club nights, festivals, etc etc - use the forums as a way of getting involved in the wider scene.

By contrast, those who see swinging solely as a means of access to 'sex on tap' DONT GIVE A FUCK about the forum...they just create a profile and start sending out endless 'hey...wanna fuck?' messages...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a forum/chat site.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience ."

I suppose it's the people who come on with a sense of entitlement that don't get it, they are the ones that think because you are online and they had paid this months subscription your knickers will fall off in an instant

in reality it doesn't work like that so in that respect they don't understand the nuances of swinging

but I think the forum try to point that out and some get it and others don't

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By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience .

Probably because those people who are interested in the full 'spectrum' of swinging - munches, club nights, festivals, etc etc - use the forums as a way of getting involved in the wider scene.

I really don't know why I find the forums such a draw , my wife rarely comes on them at all . I guess I'm one of those who sees swinging solely as means of access to ' sex on tap ' , but do give a fuck about the forums .

Oh and I've never sent a ' hey ... wanna fuck ? ' message either

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

Doesn't seem like that is too common on here."

A social meet to me is meeting for a drink to see how you get on as a 1-2-1 meet, an organised social is club/pub based and you will need to sign up for that with whoever organises them

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By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience .

in reality it doesn't work like that so in that respect they don't understand the nuances of swinging

but I think the forum try to point that out and some get it and others don't

That's a good answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience .

Probably because those people who are interested in the full 'spectrum' of swinging - munches, club nights, festivals, etc etc - use the forums as a way of getting involved in the wider scene.

Oh and I've never sent a ' hey ... wanna fuck ? ' message either

Congrats...you're an exception...well done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience .

in reality it doesn't work like that so in that respect they don't understand the nuances of swinging

but I think the forum try to point that out and some get it and others don't

That's a good answer

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

Doesn't seem like that is too common on here.

A social meet to me is meeting for a drink to see how you get on as a 1-2-1 meet, an organised social is club/pub based and you will need to sign up for that with whoever organises them

Cheers for the clarification.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging. "

You don't have to show veris for people to know.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Many times we have had the "you aren't proper swingers because (insert reason that doesn't fit accusers idea of swinging)" accusation levelled at us.

Excuse my language because I rarely swear in the forum. The number of fucks we give about that is below.

Zero.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging. "

That's just when a lamp post gets pissed on twice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging.

You don't have to show veris for people to know.

You don't?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging.

You don't have to show veris for people to know.

You don't?

You don't. People just know, you know?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging. "

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging.

You don't have to show veris for people to know.

You don't?

You don't. People just know, you know? "

Or some think they know

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience .

Probably because those people who are interested in the full 'spectrum' of swinging - munches, club nights, festivals, etc etc - use the forums as a way of getting involved in the wider scene.

I think the vast majority of people on fab, myself included, fall somewhere in between these two examples actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging.

You don't have to show veris for people to know.

You don't?

You don't. People just know, you know? "

We aren't all blessed with superpowers like yours though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get sex from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've said before that if people have a problem with me not wanting to frequent clubs or spas to meet for sex, they can swivel. I feel that would be more hook up sex than any I have gotten from here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a sex site. The definition of swingers says "a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". People join fab to meet others for sex. Socials and events are about making friends and contacts for sex. There's been an ever growing notion that swinging is somehow high brow and not about sex which is ridiculous. The same thing has crept into the fetish and BDSM scenes. If it's not about sex then you may as well delete your profile and just stay on facebook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging.

You don't have to show veris for people to know.

You don't?

You don't. People just know, you know?

Or some think they know

Exactly this. Unless....

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By *atinaBabeCouple
over a year ago

casa caliente

"I love sex. I also love socialising. What I don't love is wasting my time.

Outside the forums, its wasted energy trying to get someone's attention. I've tried it a few times. Complete nothing back, ignored/deleted.

So in the forums I am, talking to people I like too far away.

"
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, and don't get started about showing verifications about who you have had sex with in the forums, that's when the fireworks start.

The forums are a funny place when it comes to swinging.

You don't have to show veris for people to know.

You don't?

You don't. People just know, you know?

Or some think they know

Exactly this. Unless....

Only the knowing know

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's been an ever growing notion that swinging is somehow high brow and not about sex which is ridiculous. The same thing has crept into the fetish and BDSM scenes. If it's not about sex then you may as well delete your profile and just stay on facebook. "

You don't know much about the BDSM and fetish scenes then, do you?

A large sector of the BDSM and fetish/kink scenes is made up of people who are ASEXUAL, or who engage in practices which have NOTHING to do with sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forums have the smallest percentage of users and it makes sense that those that use a forum are more sociable and enjoy interacting more than the actual meeting part of Fab. I've been years without meeting people but I still stay for the forums.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We would say that the forums give us a small insight into other forumites personalities and sense of humour.

A GSOH is a must for us and we often PM a forumite who we may not have come across elsewhere on the site before.

As for the casual sex, well the right approach works and the usual FAF just never does it for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forums have the smallest percentage of users and it makes sense that those that use a forum are more sociable and enjoy interacting more than the actual meeting part of Fab. I've been years without meeting people but I still stay for the forums. "

That was the point that I was trying to make...albeit rather clumsily...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We like straight talking, we don't need wooing in mails so if someone wants a meet with us we are fine with them asking for sex even in the first mail.

The more I ( Mrs ) chat to people the less I want to play with them so weeks of mails before getting to the point of asking for a meet wouldn't work for us.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"We would say that the forums give us a small insight into other forumites personalities and sense of humour.

A GSOH is a must for us and we often PM a forumite who we may not have come across elsewhere on the site before.

As for the casual sex, well the right approach works and the usual FAF just never does it for us."

I prefer not to meet regular forum posters and stick to the rest if the fab community. Though there are some lovely people who regularly post, it's too much drama and that's not why I'm here.

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By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"We like straight talking, we don't need wooing in mails so if someone wants a meet with us we are fine with them asking for sex even in the first mail.

The more I ( Mrs ) chat to people the less I want to play with them so weeks of mails before getting to the point of asking for a meet wouldn't work for us."

This is exactly how we feel .

The more mails , the more chat , the less we want to meet them . More but often than not they are more in the dreamer camp too , and don't tend to meet either .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't know much about the BDSM and fetish scenes then, do you?

A large sector of the BDSM and fetish/kink scenes is made up of people who are ASEXUAL, or who engage in practices which have NOTHING to do with sex.

Been involved in the BDSM scene for 20 years so actually know a lot thanks

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We like straight talking, we don't need wooing in mails so if someone wants a meet with us we are fine with them asking for sex even in the first mail.

The more I ( Mrs ) chat to people the less I want to play with them so weeks of mails before getting to the point of asking for a meet wouldn't work for us.

This is exactly how we feel .

The more mails , the more chat , the less we want to meet them . More but often than not they are more in the dreamer camp too , and don't tend to meet either ."

When we started this playing lark thats what we found too, the more they wanted to chat the less chance they met. We don't often encounter them now as we cut the chat off pretty early.

For us this and other sites are where we wanted to find people to have sex with. I always thought thats what Swingers do too

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

[Removed by poster at 03/09/17 20:27:43]

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

actually... i am going to say something that the OP might see as being controversial....

I think it is the people who are here solely for nsa sex that are way more intolerant of those who want the sex and social side, than it is the other way round......

i think they have ha harder time seeing the prospective of the other side, which is why you get the comments of "why are you? why are you wasting my time by talking!" ect........

I also see the forums and an extension of the way i do my swinging in clubs... which is very much "see what people are actually like as human beings and try before i buy"

"where are the real swingers?" is a particularly back handed favourite of mine.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"been involved in the BDSM scene for 20 years so actually know a lot thanks"

Twenty years experience and yet you're still so ignorant as to claim that "if it's not about sex then you may as well delete your profile and just stay on facebook."

BDSM and kink are not intrinsically about sex, nor are all BDSM and kink activities sexual in nature, so your claim is false.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I've been on here 5 years now and this topic has been discussed all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"been involved in the BDSM scene for 20 years so actually know a lot thanks

Twenty years experience and yet you're still so ignorant as to claim that "if it's not about sex then you may as well delete your profile and just stay on facebook."

BDSM and kink are not intrinsically about sex, nor are all BDSM and kink activities sexual in nature, so your claim is false.

Don't preach to me mate. You're not all that so keep out of my face and come back when you've got some experience.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

OK maybe take it private please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This seems to have happened way more in the past year or so , and to be honest it's a shame really for those of us who are not into the whole social thing .

Just wondered why it's changed so much , or are we missing something ?

Are all the others on here that are just seeing it as a sex site too busy out there doing it , rather than coming into the forum ?

Or are they afraid they'll get shot down in flames for daring to say that they are on here to have casual nsa sexual encounters ?"

lately i think it a time wasting site due to been shut down to many times

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"actually... i am going to say something that the OP might see as being controversial....

I think it is the people who are here solely for nsa sex that are way more intolerant of those who want the sex and social side, than it is the other way round......

i think they have ha harder time seeing the prospective of the other side, which is why you get the comments of "why are you? why are you wasting my time by talking!" ect........

I also see the forums and an extension of the way i do my swinging in clubs... which is very much "see what people are actually like as human beings and try before i buy"

"where are the real swingers?" is a particularly back handed favourite of mine......."

I agree so much with this.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I love sex. I also love socialising. What I don't love is wasting my time.

Outside the forums, its wasted energy trying to get someone's attention. I've tried it a few times. Complete nothing back, ignored/deleted.

So in the forums I am, talking to people I like too far away.

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't preach to me mate. You're not all that so keep out of my face and come back when you've got some experience."

Wasn't 'preaching' to you...I was pointing out the stupidity of your claim that BDSM and kink are ONLY for people who are looking to make it 'about sex'...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forum is such a small part of the site why would it make any difference to anyone if people on the forum disapproved of how they use the site?

I think what I'm trying to say is that the almost universal voice of the forum is that fab isn't a sex site , and those who think it is need to learn what swinging is really about .

That's not really a true representative statement outside the forums in our experience ."

Whole heartily agree, when I've voiced similar all I got was backlash of "there's more to swinging than sex!" and comments from people saying they don't meet people just post on the Forum.

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By *loswingers OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"actually... i am going to say something that the OP might see as being controversial....

I think it is the people who are here solely for nsa sex that are way more intolerant of those who want the sex and social side, than it is the other way round......

i think they have ha harder time seeing the prospective of the other side, which is why you get the comments of "why are you? why are you wasting my time by talking!" ect........

I also see the forums and an extension of the way i do my swinging in clubs... which is very much "see what people are actually like as human beings and try before i buy"

"where are the real swingers?" is a particularly back handed favourite of mine......."

I have no issue at all with those who prefer to get to know people first . I may think to myself that it's not how we swing , but that's ok .

We stopped going to clubs when they became more socially orientated , and didn't , and haven't made a song and dance about it . We just found alternative ways to have our kind of swinging experience .

I really can't see how the solely NSA brigade on the forums ( there aren't many of us ) , are more intolerant . All I'm saying is that every two minutes there's someone harking in about how the instashag mentality isn't swinging !

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Swinging is about promiscuity, it is very much about enjoying good sexual experiences.

There is also a social side that a lot of people enjoy. Other people prefer to just play.

We can all do as we wish, how we use the site is totally up to each individual profile.

Neither way is wrong or right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging is about promiscuity, it is very much about enjoying good sexual experiences.

There is also a social side that a lot of people enjoy. Other people prefer to just play.

We can all do as we wish, how we use the site is totally up to each individual profile.

Neither way is wrong or right

How is that fence? Comfortable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I,m here for nsa sex and I meet random men sometimes for the buzz. I enjoy the forum but if I didn't want casual sex anymore I would leave Fab.I,m also on another site so meet men from that site too XXX

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"It is a sex site. The definition of swingers says "a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". People join fab to meet others for sex. Socials and events are about making friends and contacts for sex. There's been an ever growing notion that swinging is somehow high brow and not about sex which is ridiculous. The same thing has crept into the fetish and BDSM scenes. If it's not about sex then you may as well delete your profile and just stay on facebook. "

thanks for the example.....

isn't this a case of the intolerance that some have, although down the other end of the spectrum....

because apperently if i am not here looking for sex 25/8... i should not be here

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Swinging is about promiscuity, it is very much about enjoying good sexual experiences.

There is also a social side that a lot of people enjoy. Other people prefer to just play.

We can all do as we wish, how we use the site is totally up to each individual profile.

Neither way is wrong or right

How is that fence? Comfortable?

If you were allowed out to play I'd spank you hard for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging is about promiscuity, it is very much about enjoying good sexual experiences.

There is also a social side that a lot of people enjoy. Other people prefer to just play.

We can all do as we wish, how we use the site is totally up to each individual profile.

Neither way is wrong or right

How is that fence? Comfortable?

If you were allowed out to play I'd spank you hard for that

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Swinging is about promiscuity, it is very much about enjoying good sexual experiences.

There is also a social side that a lot of people enjoy. Other people prefer to just play.

We can all do as we wish, how we use the site is totally up to each individual profile.

Neither way is wrong or right

How is that fence? Comfortable?

If you were allowed out to play I'd spank you hard for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i still do all the sex stuff just in the forum chat about just about everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thanks for the example.....

isn't this a case of the intolerance that some have, although down the other end of the spectrum....

because apperently if i am not here looking for sex 25/8... i should not be here"

You've every right to be here and play it the way you want. If a sex site isn't about sex then we're all in the wrong place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This seems to have happened way more in the past year or so , and to be honest it's a shame really for those of us who are not into the whole social thing .

Just wondered why it's changed so much , or are we missing something ?

Are all the others on here that are just seeing it as a sex site too busy out there doing it , rather than coming into the forum ?

Or are they afraid they'll get shot down in flames for daring to say that they are on here to have casual nsa sexual encounters ?"

Is that not what the chat rooms are for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I just wanted to chat about crap I would stick to Facebook. I'm here for sex,and I like to get to know the person I'm going to be having sex with. Ergo, we chat a lot before meeting. To get rid of the wankers and fantasists early I refuse to send naked pics or talk about fantasy sex scenarios.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Fab IS a sex site yes, but I find myself mostly in the forums ever since I had the audacity to turn 46, and subsequently fall outside the upper limit of possibly 80% of the searches in here (45).

As for the 'social' aspect of using the forums, none of my meets were ever the result of using the forums.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Some couples get quite offended when us singles suggest its an NSA sex site..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've removed posts, if you quoted them your post will be gone too.

Posting private messages is against site rules as is airing private grievances.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Everybody uses the site differently and has different expectations from the site. When we joined we wanted to meet others for sex, simple really but over time our needs changed every so slightly. Yes from time to time we want NSA sex but also we are happy to socialise and we have found that the socialising leads to sex.

Each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fan is both a sex site and a swingers site. It has evolved. Just use it for your fun and leave others to use it their way.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I could be wrong but for couples the social side may be less of an interest because they've got each other to go home with.

For singles the social side can just add to the overall enjoyment of being with sexy people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wouldn't go to the pub looking for another guy to join us in the bedroom for her greedy pleasure,unless we had agreed to meet a guy there from fab ,and what's the likelihood of finding another couple in the local up for a bit of swapping lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could be wrong but for couples the social side may be less of an interest because they've got each other to go home with.

For singles the social side can just add to the overall enjoyment of being with sexy people

Yep it's completely different to be on here as a single. Couples have each other for socialising and intimacy and all the other bollocks. I look for more than just sex because I'm not enhancing or spicing up my sex life. My meets are my only sex life and interaction with male company.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We don't mind a small amount of social on here, really only to organise a meet and perhaps then to stay in touch for next time we all fancy a shag!

We don't want to build a social group from fab, we have our friends outside and enjoy there company. This bit of our life is for a very different form of intercourse...

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We have had far more NSA sex, than sex with swinging friends. We've had sexual encounters with people where there was virtually no chat at all.

That's probably because we tend to do clubs and see who we find.

To me this is primarily a sex site. How you use it and how you swing, is up to the individuals / couples involved.

Nita

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"actually... i am going to say something that the OP might see as being controversial....

I think it is the people who are here solely for nsa sex that are way more intolerant of those who want the sex and social side, than it is the other way round......

i think they have ha harder time seeing the prospective of the other side, which is why you get the comments of "why are you? why are you wasting my time by talking!" ect........

I also see the forums and an extension of the way i do my swinging in clubs... which is very much "see what people are actually like as human beings and try before i buy"

"where are the real swingers?" is a particularly back handed favourite of mine......."

Spot on fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see being social as a string. No strings doesn't mean no socialising, it means they can't be my puppet master. I want nsa sex not hook up sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see the forum as something completely different to the rest of the site. I only use the forum as a time filler as I find my views don't match those of many forum users. I wouldn't consider using it to look for sex. I haven't yet found anyone that uses the forum regularly shares my views and matches my preferences and fits with my requirements.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I see the forum as something completely different to the rest of the site. I only use the forum as a time filler as I find my views don't match those of many forum users. I wouldn't consider using it to look for sex. I haven't yet found anyone that uses the forum regularly shares my views and matches my preferences and fits with my requirements. "

...loving the boots

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I've said before that if people have a problem with me not wanting to frequent clubs or spas to meet for sex, they can swivel. I feel that would be more hook up sex than any I have gotten from here. "

Halleluya!

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"actually... i am going to say something that the OP might see as being controversial....

I think it is the people who are here solely for nsa sex that are way more intolerant of those who want the sex and social side, than it is the other way round......

i think they have ha harder time seeing the prospective of the other side, which is why you get the comments of "why are you? why are you wasting my time by talking!" ect........

I also see the forums and an extension of the way i do my swinging in clubs... which is very much "see what people are actually like as human beings and try before i buy"

"where are the real swingers?" is a particularly back handed favourite of mine......."

I think its even stevens. I see as many people who are into the social side question the true nsa types as the other way round. Your point is bang on though. Both sides should stop judging the other. Plenty of other things to judge about

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

i think the more couples post the more the objections happen coz it's a swingers site. but even couples have their fuck and go people amongst them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex isn't just physical, it's multi dimensional. If a person wants to see it as purely physical then so be it but it isn't limited by the impositions a person puts on it... It's mental, sensorial, restrictive, expensive, cultural, creative, traditional, visual and these facets are reflected in all the different types of sex play available to us all...

So anyone wanting everyone else to play the way they do is going to find there's a lot of choice available to all, and if they've had the freedom to choose a "sex niche" then anyone else can exert their freedom to choose one too.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Sex isn't just physical, it's multi dimensional. If a person wants to see it as purely physical then so be it but it isn't limited by the impositions a person puts on it... It's mental, sensorial, restrictive, expensive, cultural, creative, traditional, visual and these facets are reflected in all the different types of sex play available to us all...

Beautifully put.

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman
over a year ago

essex just looking around

[Removed by poster at 04/09/17 09:41:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely agree, and very well put.

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman
over a year ago

essex just looking around

Personnelly I find those that use these sites for hook ups and sex use all other apps to like pof and tinder as well making it just a game of chance really.

Those that attend clubs, use chatrooms or post in forums seem more to embrace the social aspect as well..

Does it matter how anyone uses the site if it works for them ??

Probably not xx

P.S. seems the longer you are on these sites the more social driven you become.. x

probably all shagged out lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get just as excited about meeting someone new for the first time as I do sticking my dick in them. So not all about the sex for me.

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman
over a year ago

essex just looking around

Completely agree, and very well put. "

totally agree here too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd think the people that just want a shag are out fucking. They won't be at all interested in the forums.

People wanting more social interaction are more likely to be forum readers/ posters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember about a year ago, a guy put a status up within minutes of looking at our profile. Our profile does change from time to time, but we always made clear our friendship style approach to swinging and hotwifing with meets being comparable to dates. His status after looking at our profile expressed his exasperation at people who look for the social aspect because this was 'supposed to be a 'fuck site' quote unquote. No doubt he thought people like us are wrong to be hijacking a 'fuck site'. But I don't have problem with people who use this site to find NSA hookups, as long as they are respectful of the fact that we like to use this site for swinging and hotwifing. It's not as though we are not using the site appropriately, and I suspect we get a hell of a lot more sex that the chancing guys who protest 'but it's supposed to be a sex site!'

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh what a surprise...

The guy who claimed that:

Is now UNLOS...

Evidently, his supposed '20 years experience in BDSM' didn't lead to women throwing themselves at his feet...

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I always think it should be what works for the individual/s, to be honest. There is a diverse population on here and I see that as a good thing, we are all looking for different things from the site. I enjoy the forums from a social point of view and we generally only meet at parties here and clubs abroad. So, I think something for everyone and use it in a way that suits you.

This

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I'm not so sure things have changed. Maybe we are seeing different threads though...

I've always thought a lot on the forums are more sociable, but then like you, we tend not to do socials, more straight into play meets.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I joined for the sex,

I stayed for group socials,

I'm here for the forums.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I think there is a huge difference between how couples and singles use the site. Couples have each other and don't necessarily see the social side as important.

I also believe there is a vast difference between male and female singles.

Yes whilst I am here for sex, I also expect respect and friendship, and whilst the men treat me or look at me as if I am a free prostitute just because I am on the site the longer I go without the sex side of things.

So far I haven't had sex since March....so I think that says a lot about others expectations are, the longer I am here the less sex I am actually having, so in 9 years, yes the site has changed dramatically unfortunately

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

"I remember about a year ago, a guy put a status up within minutes of looking at our profile. Our profile does change from time to time, but we always made clear our friendship style approach to swinging and hotwifing with meets being comparable to dates. His status after looking at our profile expressed his exasperation at people who look for the social aspect because this was 'supposed to be a 'fuck site' quote unquote. No doubt he thought people like us are wrong to be hijacking a 'fuck site'. But I don't have problem with people who use this site to find NSA hookups, as long as they are respectful of the fact that we like to use this site for swinging and hotwifing. It's not as though we are not using the site appropriately, and I suspect we get a hell of a lot more sex that the chancing guys who protest 'but it's supposed to be a sex site!'

Mrs"

As a single guy one to one meets are comparable to dates most of the time because of the social aspect and its part of a single guy's social life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh what a surprise...

The guy who claimed that:

Is now UNLOS...

Evidently, his supposed '20 years experience in BDSM' didn't lead to women throwing themselves at his feet..."

I wouldn't describe it as ridiculous. I would say I find it boring though. It puts me completely off the fet scene.

It reminds me of art critics who talk shit about paintings and sports commentators who make the action dull.

E goes to Fet events though and from the discussions she has there 'high brow' isn't how they see swinging. Sex snobbery is apparently a thing

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Isn't this reflective of a very British way of swinging and sex? Presenting a near holier than thou front, whilst lapping up every last bit of raucus fun we need.

The forum can be a perceived hard place for newcomers but I think that's a bit similar to swinging for many people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I don't think that it's the 'i'm only on Fab for NSA hookups' view that's being frowned upon.

What's being frowned upon is that many of the people who join Fab SOLELY for NSA hookups seem to be incapable of approaching prospective meets in a respectful manner.

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