FabSwingers.com forum: Are you brave?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother.

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By *mnipotent_BehemothMan
over a year ago

near Merry Hill shopping centre

Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I'm too old to be self-conscious ....

But saying that I don't place a sexual connotation on every situation I encounter .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good god, yes! Several in my hot list if I could only only pluck up courage to message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always brave but if they don't message me back then I just put note to there name as a reminder to myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life."

I sometimes envy them

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By *atsun xxxMan
over a year ago

Nr LOUTH Lincolnshire

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother. "

Yeah always

I think they are going to say

Oi what you doing messaging me

So don't message xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No I'm too old to be self-conscious ....

But saying that I don't place a sexual connotation on every situation I encounter .....

Yeah im definitely getting more confident as I get older.

Its not always sexual either, id sometimes like to discuss something someone has said on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

I'm glad it's sometimes yes though as it's lead to some amazing things.

Using forum threads can be a good way to make that first contact and get a conversation started. You never know where it might lead

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Always brave but if they don't message me back then I just put note to there name as a reminder to myself

Now that is good thinking! Im gonna use that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, what's the worst they can do? Ignore you!

I honestly thought I knew my level when it came to chatting up women but having used a few online sights I'm not so sure now tbh!

I honestly think because of the ratio of women to men online that women hold all the aces on dating/hookup sites. There are some very good looking guys on here that appear to be getting no action so that must be a factor. They can't all be tossers who don't know how to talk to women surely?

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We never message first.

Problem solved

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By *mnipotent_BehemothMan
over a year ago

near Merry Hill shopping centre

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life.

I sometimes envy them

What's not to like about them they are usually charming people, but it's all about them, not in my personal moral compass to treat people like that, it's the little voices in our heads that stop us living a life of total hedonism but also keep us safe!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother.

Yeah always

I think they are going to say

Oi what you doing messaging me

So don't message xxx"

Maybe we should hold hands and help each other be brave?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

I'm glad it's sometimes yes though as it's lead to some amazing things.

Using forum threads can be a good way to make that first contact and get a conversation started. You never know where it might lead

Yeah Ive had a few people contact me that way and the conversation has continued past the initial reason for contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah... it's just a keyboard on a screen

Holds no fears for us

Message whoever you like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never if i see some one that catches my eye i like to say hello .

If i get a reply well if i do that's jolly if not the world has not ended .

Also i cant message lots of people because of their age limits . This is their choice so again the world has not ended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'll message anyone who catches my eye, I just try and tailor my message to who I'm messaging, if people can't handle rejection then Fab probably isn't the place for them.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes, at times. I can't be arsed typing my self deprecating thoughts but it does happen.

There's a few absolute beauts who I can't believe I talk to. But as another poster said up there, the forum is a good way of breaking the ice. Just use fpf or another inane thread as a way of gauging possible interest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nah, what's the worst they can do? Ignore you!

I honestly thought I knew my level when it came to chatting up women but having used a few online sights I'm not so sure now tbh!

Maybe I should message the super hot-get them while they're weak

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We never message first.

Problem solved

That's been my stance so far

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life.

I sometimes envy them

Yeah I like people too much

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nah... it's just a keyboard on a screen

Holds no fears for us

Message whoever you like

Im gonna make it my mission to just go ahead and message people today!

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

I was brave once, a lady winked me so I thought what the hell and sent a little message, thanks for the wink, some other stuff, she deleted it unread and then blocked me

Not so brave now

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

All the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes. Yes, there's times i think 'she'll never talk to me'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never if i see some one that catches my eye i like to say hello .

If i get a reply well if i do that's jolly if not the world has not ended .

Also i cant message lots of people because of their age limits . This is their choice so again the world has not ended

Ah im a mid range. There's not many i can't message so I can't even use that as an excuse to myself!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally I'll message anyone who catches my eye, I just try and tailor my message to who I'm messaging, if people can't handle rejection then Fab probably isn't the place for them."

Im not sure its about handling rejection its more of a what's the point.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Nah... it's just a keyboard on a screen

Holds no fears for us

Message whoever you like

Im gonna make it my mission to just go ahead and message people today! "

*awaits message*

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother. "

I'm not a nervous type. If I want to message someone I will do. I'm polite with good vocabulary and a cracking sense of humour. I've never had any issues. Go for it OP and message that person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At times I stand on the sidelines ...lurking

Then when I have my brave pants on I think wtf and send a message ...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I message someone if they catch my eye. Be brave OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never if i see some one that catches my eye i like to say hello .

If i get a reply well if i do that's jolly if not the world has not ended .

Also i cant message lots of people because of their age limits . This is their choice so again the world has not ended

Ah im a mid range. There's not many i can't message so I can't even use that as an excuse to myself! "

Be confident in the lovely and sexy lady you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I'll message anyone who catches my eye, I just try and tailor my message to who I'm messaging, if people can't handle rejection then Fab probably isn't the place for them.

Im not sure its about handling rejection its more of a what's the point."

Because you're anticipating the rejection before you've been rejected? Lol

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah... it's just a keyboard on a screen

Holds no fears for us

Message whoever you like

That's a good point - we're all only pixels on t'web until you make that contact. Then we start taking shape and life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely message men but if I really like someone's profile I won't hesitate to get in touch. He can only say no, it's not the end of the world

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life."

I've never seen myself as a psychopath but also have never worried about what people think of me. Some people like me, some don't...their problem not mine as I will always be friendly to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah... it's just a keyboard on a screen

Holds no fears for us

Message whoever you like

That's a good point - we're all only pixels on t'web until you make that contact. Then we start taking shape and life

We're all zeros and ones....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes, at times. I can't be arsed typing my self deprecating thoughts but it does happen.

There's been a few Ive approached that way. I was on fab a few years ago and my first meet was with a guy so hot he could be a model. Even once we arranged to meet I was convinced he wouldn't be into me but once we did I really knew he was. It kinda changed my view of hot people approaching me but im still not sure im brave enough to approach them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely message men but if I really like someone's profile I won't hesitate to get in touch. He can only say no, it's not the end of the world "

Definitely this

Sometimes I feel we get too caught up in worrying what other people think. As you say it's not the end of the world.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was brave once, a lady winked me so I thought what the hell and sent a little message, thanks for the wink, some other stuff, she deleted it unread and then blocked me

Not so brave now

Haha! I got the dreaded non reply to a face pic recently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

But you are stunning! Any guy would be chuffed if you messaged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life."

Going off topic a bit but there is a really interesting programme on this still on bbciplayer. 'What makes a psychopath'. Worth watching is that sort of stuff intetests you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think you have to hun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All the time "

Wanna join my hand holding club? We can be brave together!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes. Yes, there's times i think 'she'll never talk to me'. "

Do you brave it out and go for it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I'll message anyone who catches my eye, I just try and tailor my message to who I'm messaging, if people can't handle rejection then Fab probably isn't the place for them."

What he said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother.

I'm not a nervous type. If I want to message someone I will do. I'm polite with good vocabulary and a cracking sense of humour. I've never had any issues. Go for it OP and message that person

Maybe there's more than one

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life.

Going off topic a bit but there is a really interesting programme on this still on bbciplayer. 'What makes a psychopath'. Worth watching is that sort of stuff intetests you."

I'll be checking that out!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At times I stand on the sidelines ...lurking

Then when I have my brave pants on I think wtf and send a message ...

Can I borrow them?

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

My problem is that I find it hard to ask people if they want to play on here. I am a bit better in person

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry

"I was brave once, a lady winked me so I thought what the hell and sent a little message, thanks for the wink, some other stuff, she deleted it unread and then blocked me

Not so brave now

We get that most of the time a wink and a block x Storm x

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"I was brave once, a lady winked me so I thought what the hell and sent a little message, thanks for the wink, some other stuff, she deleted it unread and then blocked me

Not so brave now

Haha! I got the dreaded non reply to a face pic recently

That's harsh. Always a dodgy moment when face pics are exchanged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are times when I take the plunge.

Or I use my secret weapon

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

But you are stunning! Any guy would be chuffed if you messaged "

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never if i see some one that catches my eye i like to say hello .

If i get a reply well if i do that's jolly if not the world has not ended .

Also i cant message lots of people because of their age limits . This is their choice so again the world has not ended

Ah im a mid range. There's not many i can't message so I can't even use that as an excuse to myself!

Be confident in the lovely and sexy lady you are

thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life.

Going off topic a bit but there is a really interesting programme on this still on bbciplayer. 'What makes a psychopath'. Worth watching is that sort of stuff intetests you.

I'll be checking that out! "

It's a horizion programme. Good stuff!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At times I stand on the sidelines ...lurking

Then when I have my brave pants on I think wtf and send a message ...

Can I borrow them? "

Certainly..xx

Which ones would you like ... the sexy French red ones that say ...yes yes yes I'm messaging you because you look delish and I WANT YOU .... or the conservative lacy black ones that say ...hell I like you and I thought I'd just say hi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes. Yes, there's times i think 'she'll never talk to me'.

Do you brave it out and go for it? "

There are a few I've still not had the guts to try to talk to personally. There, I said it, I'm a coward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for it OP! If you see someone you would like to message on here don't hold back.

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
over a year ago

newport

Nothing ventured nothing gained

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm usually not bothered about messaging first on here, and quite often do!

Very different in the real world though and have recently been bitten on the arse in a big way because of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm usually not bothered about messaging first on here, and quite often do!

Very different in the real world though and have recently been bitten on the arse in a big way because of it

Looking carefully....can't see the bite mark

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally I'll message anyone who catches my eye, I just try and tailor my message to who I'm messaging, if people can't handle rejection then Fab probably isn't the place for them.

Im not sure its about handling rejection its more of a what's the point.

Because you're anticipating the rejection before you've been rejected? Lol"
probably!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm usually not bothered about messaging first on here, and quite often do!

Very different in the real world though and have recently been bitten on the arse in a big way because of it

Looking carefully....can't see the bite mark

Zoom in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

To be fair it has worked out well for me in chat. If I can see theyre looking at my cam a bit longer than a glance ill be brave and pm them

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

My lack of messaging is usually down to ennui more than cowardice. If they live miles away, I'm not likely to ever meet them so why bother?

If I'm travelling I'll have a go but after being stood up the last two times I did that, that's also not likely to ever happen again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it not human to err?

The only people out there who don't care or worry about risk are the ones who are clinically psychopathic, and then you sit back and wonder why the do so well in life.

Going off topic a bit but there is a really interesting programme on this still on bbciplayer. 'What makes a psychopath'. Worth watching is that sort of stuff intetests you."

I watched this. Its worrying how many traits you can see in yourself and others!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't think you have to hun

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a theme of 'why bother'? Running through this thread don't you think?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm usually not bothered about messaging first on here, and quite often do!

Very different in the real world though and have recently been bitten on the arse in a big way because of it

Looking carefully....can't see the bite mark

Zoom in

If I zoom any closer you'll feel me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk utter garbage in the forums and no one speaks and messaging has limited success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My lack of messaging is usually down to ennui more than cowardice. If they live miles away, I'm not likely to ever meet them so why bother?

If I'm travelling I'll have a go but after being stood up the last two times I did that, that's also not likely to ever happen again."

I sympathise with this, I have sometimes found a disrespectful attitude from men if I have messaged them first, as if I must be desperate and therefore they don't need to make any effort

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My problem is that I find it hard to ask people if they want to play on here. I am a bit better in person

Ha yes! Ive been stuck in the friendzone a few times because im not sure how to move forward!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At times I stand on the sidelines ...lurking

Then when I have my brave pants on I think wtf and send a message ...

Can I borrow them?

Certainly..xx

Red please. If im going brave im going all in

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother. "

So by avoiding the possibility of having to deal with rejection , you only interact with those who message you ?

I don't doubt that this stance stops you getting interest , but here's the thing . The interest is from randoms that you haven't chosen . You may find some attractive , but if you see a profile that really appeals to you , is the random message on par with the profile you want to message ?

The way we see it is like this . You look around a shop , knowing what you want , find the item and take it to the till . Are you going to be happy if the cashier tells you you can't have that one , and offers you a different product ? Probably not , and denying yourself the opportunity to choose what you want on here is exactly the same isn't it ?

I get that every profile that appeals to you may not feel the same way , but in truth that doesn't matter . Using the same analogy , the item you went into the shop for may not be available in your size , may be the wrong colour , or simply may be out of stock . So you choose something different , but it's still your choice . The product isn't just jumping into your basket .

I've laboured this point a bit , but in essence , if you message first , it's more likely to be what you really want rather than you choosing from only those who have messaged you . Don't worry about rejection or lack of replies . I think you'll be surprised if you try this , we certainly have been

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm usually not bothered about messaging first on here, and quite often do!

Very different in the real world though and have recently been bitten on the arse in a big way because of it

Looking carefully....can't see the bite mark

Zoom in

If I zoom any closer you'll feel me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are:

1. Reasonably stunning(which you are)

2. Can accomodate

3. And not a pompous prick

...a message can almost always get you a reply; if you are a woman that is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My lack of messaging is usually down to ennui more than cowardice. If they live miles away, I'm not likely to ever meet them so why bother?

If I'm travelling I'll have a go but after being stood up the last two times I did that, that's also not likely to ever happen again."

If I message them, I feel I'm more interested in them than they are if me, like I'm trying to twist there arm into talking with me.

I sit and hope that someone I already like massages me. Then I'm braver when talking, other wise it's more. Hello...how are you? To gauge they're reaction. It's horrible communicating by text. I can't wait to meet people and feel more natural.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

All the time lol, but you only live once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only get nervous if I really really fancy them. Otherwise I'm pretty brave and message first, if I like the sound of them and want to get to know them more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'm not brave, I'm a Wuss!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"My lack of messaging is usually down to ennui more than cowardice. If they live miles away, I'm not likely to ever meet them so why bother?

If I'm travelling I'll have a go but after being stood up the last two times I did that, that's also not likely to ever happen again.

If I message them, I feel I'm more interested in them than they are if me, like I'm trying to twist there arm into talking with me.

I messaged you but was not successful. However I go by the same rule as Gloswingers above - if I don't do it, I can't then moan that I'm not getting meets. If you sit and wait for people to message you then you'll get people like me, not the people you actually want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time...

To the point where sending thst first txt can take forever...

And where I might even get as far as writing it and then instead of sending it I look at it the person it was going to...

Then look at me wonder what I was thinking and hit delete...

I'd rather face down dinosaurs than admit I like someone....

If I ever do it either ends badly or starts badly...

Creeps back into man cave and finds dark corner to curl up in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I have very often thought there is no way i can message that hottie who can clearly have his/her pick of fabs...coz why on earth would they reply to this middle aged twit.. but as has been said already, forum threads can be great icebreakers and I have made some lovely friends from them.... and they are still putting up with my inane waffling... even the ones I have met!!

Be brave OP and message away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel the same as you OP

And when hotties message I think they'd be dissapointed

I had a mega girl crush on an absolute stunner on here and due to a 'I fancy you thread' after a year of fancying her like mad, i let her know and a few weeks later we met

turns out she had felt exactly the same lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We never message first.

Problem solved

This for us too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do try to push myself out of my comfort zone and message people I fancy, but then I end up rambling and use dry wit and then it all goes down hill and hope to high heavens they will neither read nor reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At times I stand on the sidelines ...lurking

Then when I have my brave pants on I think wtf and send a message ...

Can I borrow them?

Certainly..xx

Red please. If im going brave im going all in

Correct answer ... if your going to do something then hell do it so he sits up and takes notice young lady mwah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not one to sit back and wait. If I see someone I like and I'm in meeting mode I'll message. I don't see that there's anything to lose by that. It's not the end of the world if you get nothing back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading through this, it's so apparent many hotties are not aware they are hot, think others just like them are hot and don't message them.

The absolute gobsmacking hotties though...you probably have a david beckham voice or a 1 inch cock. Or no friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spend so much time replying to mail from people I would have no interest in meeting that I've become used to not being the first to reach out and say hi.

I seen a profile recently that I was interested in getting to know a little better. I got into a bit of a state trying to put a message together. I think I need to assert myself and delegate my time a little better to get back to the reason why I'm here and not worry about trying to please everyone else.

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By *lg1000Couple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

All the time! Which is why I hardly ever message first! X

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother. "

I was once told by someone that if you ask nicely and are polite, what's the worst thing that can happen ?

They can "say no" but nobody dies or gets hurt you might be a little bit embarrassed but you might just get to play with a hottie so it's worth trying.

I sometimes smile and see if I get a return smile or a face like thunder, then I'll say hi or walk away

It's the creepy guys who approach women even if it's obvious from body language it's a no go

So on here it's easy and us guys would die to be approached first more so please give it a try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like there to be a level playing field on here, so I'll happily message first. The worst that can happen is you don't get a reply...

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By *lg1000Couple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"I feel the same as you OP

And when hotties message I think they'd be dissapointed

I had a mega girl crush on an absolute stunner on here and due to a 'I fancy you thread' after a year of fancying her like mad, i let her know and a few weeks later we met

turns out she had felt exactly the same lol xx"

**This**

Even when very good looking men message us I always feel that they'd be disappointed with me if they met me in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My lack of messaging is usually down to ennui more than cowardice. If they live miles away, I'm not likely to ever meet them so why bother?

If I'm travelling I'll have a go but after being stood up the last two times I did that, that's also not likely to ever happen again.

If I message them, I feel I'm more interested in them than they are if me, like I'm trying to twist there arm into talking with me.

Good advice. Why would I mind getting mail off anyone who wants to talk to me? My box is always open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes yes

But then I think fu#$ it and message them anyway

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

Once initial messages are exchanged I am a bit braver

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother.

So by avoiding the possibility of having to deal with rejection , you only interact with those who message you ?

I like this analogy

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

Looking at someone's pictures, Profile text or verifications are enough for me not to send a message, I'm a realistic and go of past/life experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fortune favours the brave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use to think that all the time but now I run my profile as I do, I wouldn't get meets if I didn't make the first contact. I rarely message people these days but I'd have no issues messaging anyone as I don't expect anything when messaging. I just send the message, delete it immediately from my sent message box and forget it. They'll either reply or they won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

We were once very brave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

We were once very brave

Oh yeah I remember! Nearly got swept away when I tried to bottle my own water at source... flippin heck that was a close encounter and very brave.

Enjoying highland spring water a lot more now. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

Once initial messages are exchanged I am a bit braver

I understand, but I look for the fearless... the ones who send message, wink and friend request. That triple combo is not too much to ask for really.

Nice try though Babs and I suppose it was a wee bit brave to quote me

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By *wesomeSauce!Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Not to be derogatory in any way, but it's quite funny that some of the women on this thread are a bit nervous to message first, but are the gender most likely to get a response!

Another thread that stated that single guys are the "bottom of the pile" made me laugh (also applies to non-single guys I think). It is true though - we have to be brave enough to message when there is a ninety percent chance of no reply!

Not a moan though! It's just an obversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I get a message asking for a meet, I always check out their past meets profile, to see if they meet fatties

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep all the time, very rarely message anyone first.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Oh I have very often thought there is no way i can message that hottie who can clearly have his/her pick of fabs...coz why on earth would they reply to this middle aged twit.. but as has been said already, forum threads can be great icebreakers and I have made some lovely friends from them.... and they are still putting up with my inane waffling... even the ones I have met!!

Be brave OP and message away!

Oh hello

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

Once initial messages are exchanged I am a bit braver

I understand, but I look for the fearless... the ones who send message, wink and friend request. That triple combo is not too much to ask for really.

Nice try though Babs and I suppose it was a wee bit brave to quote me

What if you are fearless and they don't reply

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By *sThunderThighsWoman
over a year ago

Toy Land

No I'm not brave .. I sit and wait for them to come to me .. but to be fair it works for me that way, im not sure I'm missing out on much! so happy days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forums are a ice breaker in a sense if you've crossed paths on there.

In a search I can think twice and stop myself messaging if I think they could be way out of my league.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

Once initial messages are exchanged I am a bit braver

I understand, but I look for the fearless... the ones who send message, wink and friend request. That triple combo is not too much to ask for really.

Nice try though Babs and I suppose it was a wee bit brave to quote me

What if you are fearless and they don't reply

That's Fab for you!

Our general rule is if we message and get no reply, we never message again. No reply = no interest.

Although we broke this rule just the once as it was a second message that we received no reply to. It must have been a hunch, as the lady in question had missed our message, and it turned out to be one of our best ever meets.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I get a message asking for a meet, I always check out their past meets profile, to see if they meet fatties

I may be guilty of this too

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

Once initial messages are exchanged I am a bit braver

I understand, but I look for the fearless... the ones who send message, wink and friend request. That triple combo is not too much to ask for really.

Nice try though Babs and I suppose it was a wee bit brave to quote me

I don't do fearless. I have moments of spontaneity and that's about my limit

It was brave to quote ... I am wearing my big girl pants after all

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By *wesomeSauce!Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"The forums are a ice breaker in a sense if you've crossed paths on there.

In a search I can think twice and stop myself messaging if I think they could be way out of my league. "

There could be some truth to using the forums.

In the past I honestly haven't considered "leagues" - for these kind of sites it is pretty much impossible - I have read that a woman's requirements that a man must meet go way up and a that a man's requirements that a woman must meet go way down. It seems to be true.

I do much better in real life until I mention that I'm not single - which is why I am here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking at someone's pictures, Profile text or verifications are enough for me not to send a message, I'm a realistic and go of past/life experience "

I do same. Check the verifications and go by that i think not a chance b interested in me. A person can only take so many knock backs in life and on fab.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother. "

I no how you fill op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I get a message asking for a meet, I always check out their past meets profile, to see if they meet fatties

I may be guilty of this too

Definitely, need to see if I'm the exception or the rule

Or an accidental message

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By *eeky goodnessMan
over a year ago

Worcester

Not to so much now but there are times when I don't but people are right what's the worst they can do not read the message, delete it and at least you know where you stand with that person

keep smiling you are a lovely girl and my inbox is always open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use to think that all the time but now I run my profile as I do, I wouldn't get meets if I didn't make the first contact. I rarely message people these days but I'd have no issues messaging anyone as I don't expect anything when messaging. I just send the message, delete it immediately from my sent message box and forget it. They'll either reply or they won't."

I can vouch for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message. They reply. All good!

Only sent out probably 10-15 messages in the 5 yrs I've been on fab. In all honesty I didn't sent out any in the first 3 yrs maybe. Too shy! But now, if I think they're hot and not a hot shot, then I'll message

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By *rGreeneMan
over a year ago

bristol

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I've felt that way about contacting you for some time. You quite often come up on my local search

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By *eldomVanillaMan
over a year ago

London

Always - if I am feeling brave I chance my arm lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm brave to contact first if it's to carry on a conversation from something that we've been talking about in a thread. But don't think I'd dare to just send a message to someone I'd not had any contact with. So many beautiful ladies on here men have so much choice. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you ever look at someone on here and get nervous to make contact?

There are people I think Hhmmmm....Theyre hot but they wouldn't be into me! And I chicken out of messaging.

I tell myself its just online, if they don't reply its not like im gonna bump into them in Tesco. But then if its someone from the forums I feel awkward so I don't bother. "

Oh yes you are so right so many times I'm feeling the same way as you. Great post xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't ask, you don't get - although I tend towards the do ask and don't get more often than not lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

Once initial messages are exchanged I am a bit braver

I understand, but I look for the fearless... the ones who send message, wink and friend request. That triple combo is not too much to ask for really.

Nice try though Babs and I suppose it was a wee bit brave to quote me

What if you are fearless and they don't reply

That's Fab for you!

Our general rule is if we message and get no reply, we never message again. No reply = no interest.

What they said I think

Sometimes I get 100s of messages or 100s of winks or 100s of friend requests all from different people. It is easy to miss things. And you know how messages drop off after a certain limit... grrr

That is why the triple combo is soo important. Fair enough I don't state that in my profile, but if people can't read my mind then we are not synchronised.

I know I know...

I am a loner for a reason.

In my defence:

I love to dream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was brave once and it worked out very well but I don't find it easy so I'm not sure I'll be doing it again

Oooooh interesting...

Once initial messages are exchanged I am a bit braver

I understand, but I look for the fearless... the ones who send message, wink and friend request. That triple combo is not too much to ask for really.

Nice try though Babs and I suppose it was a wee bit brave to quote me

I don't do fearless. I have moments of spontaneity and that's about my limit

It was brave to quote ... I am wearing my big girl pants after all

What the... you're wearing pants on a Sunday. On a Sunday...

I knew the North and South had differences, but this is getting ridiculous now. Government trying to divide us yet again ffs.

Why can't we just have that oneness feeling throughout the the whole country and be naked on a Sunday

Trying to synchronise is not as easy as it looks. We just need to be brave all at the same time and dip our toes in the deep end

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