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Roadside Memorials

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've never lost a loved one in a road traffic accident so I can't begin to think of the agony felt by those who have. Its certainly not up to me to tell others how to grieve.

We see floral tributes etc everyday and there was a really excellent docu about the whole psychology of those who set up these sort of memorials rather than using traditional graveyards. Most concluded it was the common link for those who wanted to mark a spot where they lost their loved one.

I always feel a little sad when the photographs fade and the ribbons on the flowers become pale and torn. It just emphasises the sadness for me.

As a keen gardener I have always believed that an excellent mark of remembrance would be to sow wild flowers into the grass verges instead.

These would bloom every year and as the stretches of road where these sad crashes happen are usually know accident blackspots it would remind us to take extra care.

You can get packets of mixed wild seeds and simply throw them from a car window into the already established growth and they would germinate as is their nature. Especially in long grass where they grow tall above everything else.

Those who like to place flowers would be safer in not having to negotiate these stretches of dangerous roads too.

Just a thought.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

That sounds lovely

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Different people deal with things differently, ive seen some lovely memorials ive also seen some naff ones.

Personally i think id like to just plant a rose but if its helping someone keep a memory alive i dont think it matters how it is done

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Different people deal with things differently, ive seen some lovely memorials ive also seen some naff ones.

Personally i think id like to just plant a rose but if its helping someone keep a memory alive i dont think it matters how it is done"

Absolutely as I said. I've already done the rose memorial for a friend and bought one for each of her girls called Sweet Caroline and it went down well.

I worry more about others being hurt accessing the spot. I have a feeling councils may soon start banning roadside memorials as its been discussed at our parish council meetings and this was something I thought would be a good, safe alternative expression of grief.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Different people deal with things differently, ive seen some lovely memorials ive also seen some naff ones.

Personally i think id like to just plant a rose but if its helping someone keep a memory alive i dont think it matters how it is done

Absolutely as I said. I've already done the rose memorial for a friend and bought one for each of her girls called Sweet Caroline and it went down well.

I worry more about others being hurt accessing the spot. I have a feeling councils may soon start banning roadside memorials as its been discussed at our parish council meetings and this was something I thought would be a good, safe alternative expression of grief."

Not sure if some places have actually banned them but i know some have been taken down after a certain length of time.

Maybe they could have them for up to six months and then move to another form of memorial

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My actual favourite form of memorials are benches. Nearly all the benches at rutland water have someones name on them and think its lovely

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Not sure if some places have actually banned them but i know some have been taken down after a certain length of time.

Maybe they could have them for up to six months and then move to another form of memorial"

Yeah thats a good idea too. After all its a recent phenomenon and I am sure if a different trend is set it will become popular, like most things. Not everyone likes graveyards.

I personally like memorial benches in parks etc. that serve the community as a whole. But they can be very expensive.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"

Not sure if some places have actually banned them but i know some have been taken down after a certain length of time.

Maybe they could have them for up to six months and then move to another form of memorial

Yeah thats a good idea too. After all its a recent phenomenon and I am sure if a different trend is set it will become popular, like most things. Not everyone likes graveyards.

I personally like memorial benches in parks etc. that serve the community as a whole. But they can be very expensive."

lol read what ive put on the post above you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was an article recently about a homeowner who lived at an accident blackspot and often came out to find bunches of flowers tied to the fence of his house. He said he sympathised with the families who had lost loved ones but he grew tired of removing bunches of dried, dead flowers from his property only for them to be replaced shortly after he did so.

He offered to erect a small plaque to commemorate those who died if people would stop leaving flowers on his property. He sounded very sincere about it and I thought it was a lovely gesture he made to erect a plaque.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to pass where my lovely was killed driving to my sons nursery school every day.

I have never felt the desire to put a flower there, it's too public a place for me to show my grief.

But a pack of wild flowers sprinkled on the verge there would be a touching gesture of remembrance. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have mixed feeling on them, luckily i have never lost anyone to a road traffic accident

Plus side - the look pretty, the physical presence of flowers/ plaque indicates there was an accident and could be another visual warning to drivers to slow down

Negative side - are a temporary distraction to drivers, the plastic packaging that surround the flowers can often float around in the breeze and in fact jut add to the litter problem or float into farmers land and choke animals,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over seas you see this little shrines next to the road . Greece and places you see alot .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sincere sympathies to those who have lost prematurely.

The placing of items at the actual place should be banned, they are a hazard, unsightly and tacky.

The permanent ones add to the problems of maintenance (grass cutting)

The grave or remembrance book is the place to remember them. At some point in the future the whole area (with different 'memorials') could be covered in scarfs, flowers, cards, toys et al, the council should remove then asap and consider charging perpetrators with a littering fine, this also applies to sheets tied to railings wishing someone a happy birthday...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son's best friend was hit and run over by 2 cars, for several years, there was a bucket tied to the lamp post full of flowers for the anniversary of his death and his birthday. Because it was the first time many of his friends had faced a "death", the council gave special permission for the bucket to stay for longer than they should. Now there is a park bench with his name on it, another name was added to it 4 yrs later for one of his friends who froze to death on his 21st birthday.

Having watched the kids suffer really isn't very nice at all

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

Up in Rivington near us is a forest of rememberence. Where people have planted trees then have a little plaque to dedicate to the persons memory. It's a very peacful place.

I like the benches too. Some have some really nice messages on.

One on the Pennine way says something like

Dad loved these hills and was often seen walking them. So if you got this far he knows you are tired. Take a seat for a few minutes, stretch your feet and gather your thoughts, because it's another 4 miles to civilisation

And there was a smiley face

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By *andy muncherMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

on some of the greek islands they have shrines be side the roadside were a love one has died with a candle and light it every night

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