FabSwingers.com forum: Pretentious pub menus

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We went out for dinner recently to a pub recommended by a friend. It was really quite nice, old, atmospheric and with excellent ale.

I ordered a meal that included a side of boudin noir, delicious but i could have sworn it looked, smelled and tasted just like black pudding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate places that have odd prices. The won't put £7.50 they'll put 7 1/2. Really annoys me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate pretentious places.

Serve normal food, with normal names on normal plates.

Give me my burger and chips on a fucking plate, not on a slate with a mini chip fryer basket thing.

Dickheads.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Hand breaded fish goujons served between a toasted brioche bun

Basically a fish finger sarnie then?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The gentrification of the masses and prices . Wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hand breaded fish goujons served between a toasted brioche bun

Basically a fish finger sarnie then?"

If you're in a French restaurant i get it, but a country pub in Slapton not so much. Glad i didn't order the fish finger butty though, at least the black pudding was nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a pub menu next to their car park advertising Coq au Vin. It was a dogging spot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day if you don't want to go to a fancy gastropub then don't go there. Go to a weatherspoons.

Yes it is annoying to be charged an arm and a leg for a fancy version of pub food. I saw bangers and mash for a tenner the other day.

Having said that people could argue that they can have a frozen steak and kidney pie any day of the week at home and wouldn't want to pay for one, but would happily pay for a 'fancy' chicken and chorizo pie as it's eating out and they want to treat themselves. All up to the individual. There are pubs and restaurants which cater to all tastes. If a place doesn't offer good value then it won't be in business for very long...

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"We went out for dinner recently to a pub recommended by a friend. It was really quite nice, old, atmospheric and with excellent ale.

I ordered a meal that included a side of boudin noir, delicious but i could have sworn it looked, smelled and tasted just like black pudding.

On the same note, WHY have pubs doubled their prices in the 7 years since I moved to this country? I understand inflation, but a pie is still a pie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are lots of grotty pubs which one can go to and they offer, non-pretentious, beer, bangers and mash and brawl

There is something for everyone

- Mrs. J -

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I won't go anywhere that doesn't have distressed furniture, crushed potatoes, naive watercress and subdued artichokes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At the end of the day if you don't want to go to a fancy gastropub then don't go there. Go to a weatherspoons.

Yes it is annoying to be charged an arm and a leg for a fancy version of pub food. I saw bangers and mash for a tenner the other day.

The point is if i want black pudding i want to order black pudding, if i want steak and kidney pie i want to order steak and kidney pie, it doesn't taste any better for being in French. It's not about the price, these places have to make a living.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want chips, not fucking fries

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By *ak777Man
over a year ago

shaw

[Removed by poster at 01/09/17 15:32:34]

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By *ak777Man
over a year ago

shaw

"boudin noif is black pudding in Frence."
or france

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a pub menu next to their car park advertising Coq au Vin. It was a dogging spot

You sure that wasn’t cock in van?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But adding French titles, serving on a slate and in mini deep fryer thingies means they can charge more for it because they are selling "atmosphere"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear.. I adore gastro pubs, if I'm going out for a treat it can be as pretentious as it likes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with more than.

If I’m eating out, I want it to be a treat and to feel like it.

Same as dressing up, like to make the effort.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

People who sniff their wine and then rotate the glass while spouting bullshit.

Such as:

I'm getting a waft of hollyhocks and a burst of electricity up my nose

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Oh don't remind me. I live in Dalston. Ground zero of pretension.

Killed off all the old boozers and cafs. The bastards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't go anywhere that doesn't have distressed furniture, crushed potatoes, naive watercress and subdued artichokes. "

And mismatching funky tumblers, gerbera in a vase, food served in terracotta flowerpots and a collection of bizarre, arty magazines

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh dear.. I adore gastro pubs, if I'm going out for a treat it can be as pretentious as it likes "

Would you like pommes frites with that?

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Try living in nw London, chicken shops everywhere lost all decent places to eat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But adding French titles, serving on a slate and in mini deep fryer thingies means they can charge more for it because they are selling "atmosphere" "

This is unfortunately true, some establishments seem to be able to charge whatever they want and still be beating customers away. What's the menu written in, Klingon?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like poncy menus and pretentious pubs bars and eateries.

Gormet pubs

Micro breweries

Funky tea rooms and coffee shops

No actually I love them, big square plates, ribs in buckets, chips in metal baskets, water in milk bottles or laboratory wear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do appreciate that the Wetherspoon's in inner London have better chips than outer London ones. The one by The Tower of London has a fake library décor style too. Very poshe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im glad places are differnt - gives us a thread to chat about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't go anywhere that doesn't have distressed furniture, crushed potatoes, naive watercress and subdued artichokes.

And mismatching funky tumblers, gerbera in a vase, food served in terracotta flowerpots and a collection of bizarre, arty magazines"

Just like home! Pretentious? Moi?

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Papers reported a pub in London charging £13.50 a pint.

Fck knows how much a cheese roll is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate pretentious places.

Serve normal food, with normal names on normal plates.

Give me my burger and chips on a fucking plate, not on a slate with a mini chip fryer basket thing.

Dickheads."

Haha! I don't want 12 chips stacked up like Jenga. I want a big bowl of chips, ta!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

As long as it tastes good and the service is good who cares? Food is food.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as it tastes good and the service is good who cares? Food is food."

Yep I'm in this camp. I look at the menu before sitting down. If I don't like what's on offer I'll go somewhere else. Every pub these days serves food so there's so much choice out there. I thoroughly enjoyed my burger served on a slate with chips in a mini fryer the other day. And if that puts off the wetherspoons clientele, win win

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By *essandpatCouple
over a year ago

chester

A pub we used to go to, good food good prices for what you was getting, they had a change of hand and had a look at the menu, is all up market can't even understand half of what's on the menu and the price OMG we've not bin since x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen a few places serving a full English on a shovel or in a frying pan.

What's wrong with a plate...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pépite de poulet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing better than chips in a mini fryer basket or small metal tub, is sweet potatoes chips in said metal wear.

Or real chips done with dripping in paper.

I want posh chips or flat cap wearing down t pit chips, not the chain pub or McDonald's variety.

I like gin in big fucking fish bowl glasses, I like larger in glasses with stems I like bottles of IPA you never heard of, if I go in a real ale pub I want folk music and interesting pork pie and cheese combinations.

I want crystal glasses with expensive wine, I want £10 bottles of water.

If I go out I like really good service, I like the place to look like people made an effort.

I want to walk into airy hotel lobbies with art I'm never gonna understand sprinkled around the place.

I don't want to line up at the bar behind people who don't understand deodorant is used as well as a shower not instead of.

I'm not even vaguely sorry about being middle class.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I WANT THE BEANS WITH MY FULL ENGLISH IN A LITTLE SAUCE PAN!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only thing better than chips in a mini fryer basket or small metal tub, is sweet potatoes chips in said metal wear.

Or real chips done with dripping in paper.

I want posh chips or flat cap wearing down t pit chips, not the chain pub or McDonald's variety.

I want crystal glasses with expensive wine, I want £10 bottles of water.

If I go out I like really good service, I like the place to look like people made an effort.

I want to walk into airy hotel lobbies with art I'm never gonna understand sprinkled around the place.

I don't want to line up at the bar behind people who don't understand deodorant is used as well as a shower not instead of.

I'm not even vaguely sorry about being middle class.

Southerners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only thing better than chips in a mini fryer basket or small metal tub, is sweet potatoes chips in said metal wear.

Or real chips done with dripping in paper.

I want posh chips or flat cap wearing down t pit chips, not the chain pub or McDonald's variety.

I want crystal glasses with expensive wine, I want £10 bottles of water.

If I go out I like really good service, I like the place to look like people made an effort.

I want to walk into airy hotel lobbies with art I'm never gonna understand sprinkled around the place.

I don't want to line up at the bar behind people who don't understand deodorant is used as well as a shower not instead of.

I'm not even vaguely sorry about being middle class.

This man gets it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only thing better than chips in a mini fryer basket or small metal tub, is sweet potatoes chips in said metal wear.

Or real chips done with dripping in paper.

I want posh chips or flat cap wearing down t pit chips, not the chain pub or McDonald's variety.

I want crystal glasses with expensive wine, I want £10 bottles of water.

If I go out I like really good service, I like the place to look like people made an effort.

I want to walk into airy hotel lobbies with art I'm never gonna understand sprinkled around the place.

I don't want to line up at the bar behind people who don't understand deodorant is used as well as a shower not instead of.

I'm not even vaguely sorry about being middle class.

Southerners

Colonial, I'm Rhodesian

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"I hate pretentious places.

Serve normal food, with normal names on normal plates.

Give me my burger and chips on a fucking plate, not on a slate with a mini chip fryer basket thing.

Dickheads."

Beat me to it

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Chips are meant to come looking like they could give you a heart attack just looking in the bowl...by bowl im talking mixing bowl size!

There are times i look at a menu at it looks like the head chef has said "if we can write it in french we can charge double"

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

"I hate pretentious places.

Serve normal food, with normal names on normal plates.

Give me my burger and chips on a fucking plate, not on a slate with a mini chip fryer basket thing.

Dickheads."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want chips, not fucking fries

Chips made in a proper frying pan,not baked in the oven!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I loathe anything that's covered in a so called 'reduction' which actually looks like snot and phlegm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often Google the places that are shown on the mineral water bottles more often than not they are in the middle of an industrial estate. Spring water my arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steak with blue cheese!

Steak knives that look like you could chop your way out of a rain forest with one!

Chips wrapped in grease proof paper in a basket!

The whole lot on a board or stone thingy!

Little bits of garnish that you don't know if it's the done thing to eat or not!

Big chunky rustic salt and pepper pots!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Antique junk that's been spray painted hung on the walls!

Fashion and life style magazines in the bar area!

Bourbon that's marketed as if it's single malt scotch!

All the serving staff looking like you should be glad they aren't ignoring you!

AMAZING!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seen a few places serving a full English on a shovel or in a frying pan.

What's wrong with a plate..."

Breakfast on a shovel.

I like the sound of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh don't remind me. I live in Dalston. Ground zero of pretension.

Killed off all the old boozers and cafs. The bastards. "

To be fair, customers spending money is what keeps boosters open, if the customers go elsewhere it's their choices that closes places.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"Oh don't remind me. I live in Dalston. Ground zero of pretension.

Killed off all the old boozers and cafs. The bastards.

To be fair, customers spending money is what keeps boosters open, if the customers go elsewhere it's their choices that closes places."

No shit Sherlock?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only thing better than chips in a mini fryer basket or small metal tub, is sweet potatoes chips in said metal wear.

Or real chips done with dripping in paper.

I want posh chips or flat cap wearing down t pit chips, not the chain pub or McDonald's variety.

I want crystal glasses with expensive wine, I want £10 bottles of water.

If I go out I like really good service, I like the place to look like people made an effort.

I want to walk into airy hotel lobbies with art I'm never gonna understand sprinkled around the place.

I don't want to line up at the bar behind people who don't understand deodorant is used as well as a shower not instead of.

I'm not even vaguely sorry about being middle class.

- Mrs. J -

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Down 'ere wooden plates are in fashion. Covered in std's before you start.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Are people still gold leafing food?

I seen that guy on bake off do it to a pear this week but it's bullshit in my world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I know where all the church slate is going to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Now I know where all the church slate is going to

They've run out of lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Down 'ere wooden plates are in fashion. Covered in std's before you start."

What!

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

I ordered a meal once based on the ingredients, it was the description I objected too ... 'In a moat of gravy with cascading peas!' I saw no evidence of any peas cascading! At the price I paid the cascading peas should have been flying off the plate and exploding in a starburst fashion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A place near me serves "corn fed" chicken breast.

I really do not need to know what it was fed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, and while we're on the subject, stop calling it Fabswingers. There's very little Liberace-level fabulousness and there's no swings, there's just dirty fuckers who shag around.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah, and while we're on the subject, stop calling it Fabswingers. There's very little Liberace-level fabulousness and there's no swings, there's just dirty fuckers who shag around."

Shagnasties then?

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