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Diary Of A Viagra Housewife

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By *exybaby OP   Man
over a year ago

Canterbury....ish

Day 1.....Just celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary with not too much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day2.....Today he tells me that he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent and he says he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something that i don't know! I mean, he actually thinks that i haven't noticed.

Day 3.....This marriage is in trouble. A woman, after all, has needs. Yesterday, i saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.

Day 4.....A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will 'fix his problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra then 'things' would be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5.....What absolute bliss!

Day 6.....Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.

Day 7.....This Viagra thing has gone right to his head (no pun intended). Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if i'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him but have to admit it's very nice - I don't think i've ever been so happy!

Day 8.....I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was seeing his 'new friend' as a whacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.

Day 9.....No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10.....Okay, i admit it. I'm hiding, i mean a girl can only take so much. To make matters worse he's now washing the Viagra down with neat whiskey! What am i going to do? I feel tacky all over.

Day 11.....I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill! I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig!

Day 12.....I wish he was gay. I'ne stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he STILL keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous!!

Day 13.....Every time i shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tried that 'Oops, sorry' thing again i swear i'll kill the bastard!

Day 14.....I've done everything to turn him off but nothing is working! I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him morny hory. Help me!!!

Day 15.....I think i'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything that i sit on . Even the cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night i told him to go and f**k himself and he did!!

Day 16.....The bastard has started to complain about headaches I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17.....Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference....Christ!!!! here he comes again!

Day 18.....He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the telly all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him......

.....What absolute bliss!!!

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

haha love it

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden


"haha love it"

Ha ha ha.. LIVE it!!

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

PMSL!

Loveed it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm keeping this on file in case anyone asks me to relinquish control of the tv remote in future....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Viagra song......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GysVngf7GrE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh fabulous

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By *Y MAN n MECouple
over a year ago

FIFE

Just brill.... only a woman would understand the humour but it certainly put a smile on my face! any more gems like this around???? xx H

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

See viagra aint all that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Brilliant!

Mercedes x

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By *ornycplnorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

rofpmsl

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutly Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which just goes to prove that there is no earthly way a man can ever please a woman 100% of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She should have just got him wanking over porn or pics on fab , lol sure it would help ..

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