FabSwingers.com forum: Dealing with stupid cliquey bitchy bullshit at work

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know it's not Thursday but...

At my old job I was really good friends with someone, for no reason she turned into a two faced cow, turned her little clique against me and I eventually left for a new job as it stressed me out so much and I hated working in such a poisonous atmosphere.

Now a couple of weeks after I started my new job she started there too. She's been all nicey and civil to me so far and I've been decent to her too as I tried to give her another chance. But today she bribed the other two girls our age that we work with with Macdonalds and sweets, so I get the feeling that she's going to start the clique crap again... but a trusted work colleague has told me that while she's been nice and innocent to my face, when I'm not at work she goes round telling people how much she hates me, so I'm considering just letting it play out so people can see what a nasty piece of work she is. The company doesn't stand for stuff like that anyway and I know people like me there as it is.

Rant over.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I know its all hearsay at the mo, but I would check out your company's bullying and harassment policies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know its all hearsay at the mo, but I would check out your company's bullying and harassment policies."

Good point, I will if it gets worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one can understand her motivations probably not even you and you know her...

But it's always simpler to just out a distance between you and those who hurt you. It's harder where you have to work with someone but then if people see the difference between how she and you interact with others ...the real people will soon work it out..

Hope things get better for you but remember it's her action s her problem and she can only hurt you if you allow her to.

Good luck OP...

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Oh nooooo, it's horrible when someone like that ends up working with you again. It happened to me once, I left a job because of this guy, started a new one. Looked out the window and my heart sank when I saw him walking in.

See how it pans out but if she starts making it difficult for you chat to your manager about it. They'll help particularly if they don't stand for that kind of shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No one can understand her motivations probably not even you and you know her...

Hope things get better for you but remember it's her action s her problem and she can only hurt you if you allow her to.

Good luck OP..."

You're right, I really don't understand her motivation as she's clung onto this hate for three or four years now, and until she started working with me again I hadn't seen her for two years, which seems a really stupid waste of time and energy to 'hate' someone.

I can't be bothered with the drama she wants and I think she's already showing her true colours.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh nooooo, it's horrible when someone like that ends up working with you again. It happened to me once, I left a job because of this guy, started a new one. Looked out the window and my heart sank when I saw him walking in.

See how it pans out but if she starts making it difficult for you chat to your manager about it. They'll help particularly if they don't stand for that kind of shit

Sucks doesn't it?! Thankfully I have lovely understanding managers too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is. "

Soooo very tempted to do that. Though if I confronted her like that I just know she wouldn't be able to give me a straight answer

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is. "

I'm surprised the people she is talking to haven't asked that yet. I know if someone started telling me they hated someone else I would back away slowly and decide not to have anything to do with that person.

To quote Michelle Obama, when they go low, we go high.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is.

Soooo very tempted to do that. Though if I confronted her like that I just know she wouldn't be able to give me a straight answer

She may not give a straight answer but she'll know you won't stand for her bull shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She sounds insecure and likely suffers from Histrionics which then everyone else will suffer with her behaviour.

As others have said keep a solid record of anything odd and observe company rules on bullying and harassment.

M & J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is.

To quote Michelle Obama, when they go low, we go high. "

If I had some mad bitch in work buying me sweets and McDonald's and going on about how much she hates some random woman I'd keep taking the sweets and McDonald's from her but I wouldn't fuss myself with what she was saying. I judge people by how they are with me personally anyway so it wouldn't bother me plus I'd see this woman being all nice to the other woman's face and then slagging her off and saying she hates her behind her back, it's the two faced woman I'd be sceptical of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell people at work you had to leave because someone was obsessed with you and you may need to involve the police as it's still happening. Just say how much you feel sorry for this person as they are obviously ill but enough is enough.

Don't name names but let people draw their own conclusions and suddenly your frenemy has no support.

I know you want people to see what she is but sometimes you need to give things a push.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is.

To quote Michelle Obama, when they go low, we go high. "

I think she's going to dig herself into a massive hole. The thing is, I'm a very genuine person and what you see is what you get with me and I haven't given anyone there a reason to dislike me. Actually, when she told someone she hates me, their response was why would anyone hate me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She sounds insecure and likely suffers from Histrionics which then everyone else will suffer with her behaviour.

As others have said keep a solid record of anything odd and observe company rules on bullying and harassment.

M & J "

She is really insecure and people have observed in the past that she's jealous of me, something I don't understand.

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By *heMightyPhwoarMan
over a year ago

Asgard

Do you know what she has said about you and is she an older woman?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is.

To quote Michelle Obama, when they go low, we go high.

Exactly! Similarly I'm never friends with someone who bitches to me about their friends as you never know what they're saying to others about you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you know what she has said about you and is she an older woman? "

All I know is that she's told people she hates me. No, she's a couple of years younger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My guess is as she harassed you out of the last place so thinks she can do it again .. bullys are usually cowards... give her a slap when no one else is around and tell her to back off... I hate bullys x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My guess is as she harassed you out of the last place so thinks she can do it again .. bullys are usually cowards... give her a slap when no one else is around and tell her to back off... I hate bullys x "

I'm not a violent person

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

What class did you say you were in?

You could tell the teacher but you don't want to be labled the school tout.

Get her round the back of the bike shed and pull her hair.

Get a big bag of sweeties and share them with everyone but don't give her any.

Just make faces at her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What class did you say you were in?

You could tell the teacher but you don't want to be labled the school tout.

Get her round the back of the bike shed and pull her hair.

Get a big bag of sweeties and share them with everyone but don't give her any.

Just make faces at her

Maybe she hates me because I cheated at Pass The Parcel?! I think I've got it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yvaine, carry on being you. Let her carry on being her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a violent person

You can't hit anyone in the real world anyway because there'd be all kinds of consequences including criminal charges. There is nothing she can physically do to harm you or you to her so just go up to her when she's alone like in the toilets and ask her what her problem is. Ask her what you can do to solve it and ask her if she really really dislikes you would she be willing to give you assurances that if you were to have a physical fight then she wouldn't go to the police. Tell her that you come to work to earn money and when you leave the premises you don't want to be thinking about office bollocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a violent person

"
then forget the slap and just ask her to back off or you will report her.... Gd luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just love drama.

Ignore it. It consumes your energy getting involved. She obviously has a rather lacking life, hence her entanglement in such pointless exercises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When she was telling people she was getting McDonald's I'd have to shout over my order and laugh at her or when she's giving out sweets I'd have to walk over and be like what have we got by here then, gimmie, then be like where are the foam bananas, where's the shrimps where's the kola kubes, O love that's the worst sweet selection ever, come back when you've got some tidy fucking sweets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people act like kids at work, I go there for money not friends.. just ignore the ratchet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been on the receiving end of this, the best thing you can do is ride it out. I learnt that while she is trying to make you look bad, all that is achieved is her making herself look nasty.

Anyone with intelligence will form their own opinions. And if they don't then you don't want that person around you anyway.

Just be uber nice, smile and rise above it. And if it teaches you anything then let it teach you to never judge others on someone else's opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is. "

I'd do this, or even when she's standing with her group of lackies. I'd also ask them if they have a problem with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds to me like she's jealous of you. Keep on being you, and let her play her nasty game. Others will see through her. Hold your head high as you're better than that. I hope it's a situation that can be resolved soon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It sounds to me like she's jealous of you. Keep on being you, and let her play her nasty game. Others will see through her. Hold your head high as you're better than that. I hope it's a situation that can be resolved soon. "

I think she is jealous, though I have no idea what of.

I think what hurts the most is how she's hated me for so long, yet I'm the type of person who isn't bitter enough to hate anyone, regardless of who they are or what they've done. I don't think I've ever done something so dreadful to be hated for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think she is jealous, though I have no idea what of.

It's her issue, not yours. Try not to let it bring you down. X x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Hearsay, gossip and tittle tattle. There's two ways to deal with it one is by asking the person what their problem is, with witnesses in a calm controlled environment or by speaking to HR and asking them to mediate. Be the adult in this situation.

Don't get involved in all this bribing them with sweets and McDonalds stuff your colleagues hopefully aren't primary school kids who will fall for that.

Good luck.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I tried to private mail you but your settings won't allow me to.

The so called 'trusted colleague' needs disciplining for being inciting trouble.

The 'girls of your age' ...... are pushing thirty like you. There are men here who would KILL to be able to bribe them with McDonalds and sweets

Jesus .....

Where do you work ?

You will have a great problem proving she has said anything about you at all.

Try bribing 'the girls your age' with a KFC and Chocolate if they will say she has been saying things.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Hearsay, gossip and tittle tattle. There's two ways to deal with it one is by asking the person what their problem is, with witnesses in a calm controlled environment or by speaking to HR and asking them to mediate. Be the adult in this situation.

Don't get involved in all this bribing them with sweets and McDonalds stuff your colleagues hopefully aren't primary school kids who will fall for that.

Good luck."

How DARE you insult primary aged children.....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't get involved in all this bribing them with sweets and McDonalds stuff your colleagues hopefully aren't primary school kids who will fall for that.

Good luck.

How DARE you insult primary aged children.....

Sorry

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By *omersetfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"So she tells people she hates you, who gives a shit!? Just follow her to the toilets and when you get her alone ask her what her problem is. "

By when alone, ask her when there are people around that have heard the nasty stuff so she can't back out and say it's all a lie

Horrid but you need to face up to it and sort it out

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By *rCurious1Man
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

[Removed by poster at 28/08/17 23:08:38]

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By *rCurious1Man
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

Found that men are worse than women for been bitchy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know its all hearsay at the mo, but I would check out your company's bullying and harassment policies.

Good point, I will if it gets worse

Check it out now, don't hang around.

Give her time to make enough rope to hang herself with too if you can. The little shit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know it's not Thursday but...

Rant over.

Intelligent people will sus her out. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can your trusted colleague find out why she hates you? Doesn't sound like she'd tell you if you asked her as she'd just deny it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call her out on it.

Most people like her will shit themselves as soon as they're challenged

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