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A semi serious question for you all

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I need advice! As most who know me will be aware, my ideal fantasy isn't really sexual. I want happy ever after. To love and be loved in return. Just me and him. No extras.

So given the amount I work and familiy online dating is probably the way to go. As many of the single men on here are often already attached I'm curious to know what makes a woman move from the "for fun" category to the "wow I really actually like her" category..

I don't think I've ever successfully made the switch and to be fair now I think there's no time to try. I need to be potential from the start!

Tell me what I need to do or say to be even given the chance!

Ps I'm not looking on here, before the you're on the wrong site comments appear..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always be honest and true to yourself and motives !

Never compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's two things:

Chemistry - How well do we click. Do I get 'that' feeling every time I see you? Sex is one thing and of course that's very important for a relationship to be successful but it's also a of the other stuff. I guess what I'm trying to say is do I like your personality. If yes then we move onto timing.

Timing - Is it the right time for me to commit to one person and enter into a relationship again. I think it's more of a mind set but it has to be right. A good example would be if I was coming straight out of a long term relationship I wouldn't want to go straight into another one.

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By *s2withyouCouple
over a year ago

royal albert

Well I believe both males and females tend to judge to quickly sometimes and miss out on many opportunities! There are some great guys and girls out there but people you may sometimes miss iut at looking ... beeing more open helps.....

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"

Always be honest and true to yourself and motives !

Never compromise.

"

Definitely I've spent far too long doing that

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By *s2withyouCouple
over a year ago

royal albert

Also you will be surprised how many guys you can intimidate! You are an amazing beautiful women ... not all men that like you have the guts to talk and ask you out ... or even act the way the are around you... guys tend to say and act the way they think girls like them to be

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"Also you will be surprised how many guys you can intimidate! You are an amazing beautiful women ... not all men that like you have the guts to talk and ask you out ... or even act the way the are around you... guys tend to say and act the way they think girls like them to be "

One guy once told me I was too feisty and spirited which means men feel they need to be strong around me. Its sad because while sometimes I am other times I'm sensitive, shy and incredibly insecure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you genuinely laugh at the same stupid stuff together, then there's a chance.

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By *s2withyouCouple
over a year ago

royal albert

As humans we tend to look at the way we look its normal.... but at the end of the day beauty is just temporary what you left after is mire important then anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say just be yourself and show your true personality and the right guy for you will come along. If you portray yourself as something you're not then you will attracting the guys who are after the girl you are portraying rather than the real you if that makes sense.

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"I'd say just be yourself and show your true personality and the right guy for you will come along. If you portray yourself as something you're not then you will attracting the guys who are after the girl you are portraying rather than the real you if that makes sense. "

Being me hasn't worked so far lol

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Don't look and it will just happen when the time is right and don't discount Fab x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd say just be yourself and show your true personality and the right guy for you will come along. If you portray yourself as something you're not then you will attracting the guys who are after the girl you are portraying rather than the real you if that makes sense.

Being me hasn't worked so far lol"

That just means the right one hasn't come along yet. You will find one who will accept you for all your lovely qualities and all the negative ones. They will accept all of you. Granted, it is not easy to find. But that's why the person, when you meet them, will be special. Special doesn't happen often, but with patience and preservence, I'm sure you will find him, or he will find you

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By *s2withyouCouple
over a year ago

royal albert

I got a brother who is single ... he has a good job in london he a good guy... his problem is that he is to honest....weirdly so....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd say just be yourself and show your true personality and the right guy for you will come along. If you portray yourself as something you're not then you will attracting the guys who are after the girl you are portraying rather than the real you if that makes sense.

Being me hasn't worked so far lol"

You can't be anyone else...

Be true to yourself...follow your dream and accept yourself as you are. If you do others will and when the right person comes along at the right time you will just know...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest there are 2 ladies on here that I would definitely try to date, if I had the opportunity.

I'm not saying who though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and OP, it's not just one thing that makes them move from for fun to date category and there are different reasons for both of them

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"To be honest there are 2 ladies on here that I would definitely try to date, if I had the opportunity.

I'm not saying who though "

That's so sweet

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

When you find the answers let me know because I would like the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have absolutely no idea.

But I will say that if you're actively trying to find a relationship it probably isn't gonna happen, there's no magic formula it just happens. Get out there, meet people, be friendly and approachable, smile, hold any gaze that comes your way and when you meet someone that you think is right then be cool and don't hit the needy button.

Whatever, hope it finds you op because everyone deserves to be happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you find the answers let me know because I would like the same."

This

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

[Removed by poster at 26/08/17 14:10:11]

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Unfortunately I don't think there is a silver bullet answer to your question. Every one your going to meet is likely to be slightly different in this regards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

Ahh it's a conondrum isn't it? I feel for you OP as I'm in a similar boat albeit I'm looking for a life partner who also wants to share this lifestyle with me. I'm a great believer in you cant look for love it will find you. That said you can improve your chances by simply getting out there, go on dates, be yourself and I promise you the right guy will turn up one day.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that "

Basically. We are all doomed.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I think I would give up everything for someone who made me tingle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know when I started dating again I was honest with what I wanted. Spent lots of time talking and seeing if we had things in common that we could build on. Then mr came along and that was it. Just the time for both of us was right. There is no magic answer just get yourself out there and let yourself become emotionally available because if you don't do that then the perfect man can be in front of you but you wouldn't let him in x

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I know when I started dating again I was honest with what I wanted. Spent lots of time talking and seeing if we had things in common that we could build on. Then mr came along and that was it. Just the time for both of us was right. There is no magic answer just get yourself out there and let yourself become emotionally available because if you don't do that then the perfect man can be in front of you but you wouldn't let him in x "

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that "

Good lord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord "

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there... "

What if you thought you had that but then it all changed?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I'd say just be yourself and show your true personality and the right guy for you will come along. If you portray yourself as something you're not then you will attracting the guys who are after the girl you are portraying rather than the real you if that makes sense.

Being me hasn't worked so far lol"

Being you is right - it's potentially just about some of the what that's communicated and how you behave. Behavior isn't you but it reflects something about you - new habits potentially to build up. People will infer things from how you act, so it's better if they are inferring appropriate things for you.

You're right to be honest and open - though revealing yourself bit by bit, as guys earn your trust. This stops them being flooded and potentially not understanding you well, as they can't discriminate amongst the volumes of you.

It's a journey, just take small steps at a time, so that others appreciate your comfort.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"I think I would give up everything for someone who made me tingle."

Faf

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there...

What if you thought you had that but then it all changed?

"

I'll let you know when that happens because I haven't had it before

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there... "

Are you trying to provoke me?

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains


"When you find the answers let me know because I would like the same."

Me too

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there...

What if you thought you had that but then it all changed?

I'll let you know when that happens because I haven't had it before "

See, we are all doomed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there...

Are you trying to provoke me? "

No!

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Off for a swim back soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me (in the same boat). It's taking sex off the table and actually dating. I think fab has been fun but the man focus is sex. And often it's more about self pleasure than mutual pleasure.

I'm not saying u can't sleep with someone on a first date but the expectation is that dates at urs or his are from then on the order of the day. I dont want that. I want to shown off picked up dropped off. To be woo ed and to woo back.

The last guy I dated I met off here although he had chatted on pof before that. He was juat as surprised to see me here as me him. The dynamic was sex from that point on. After a few dates he had not invested anything other than sex in me and then ghosted me when someone dateable came along! That one stung a bit.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there...

Are you trying to provoke me?

No! "

Pink as if you ever needed provoking

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there...

Are you trying to provoke me?

No!

Pink as if you ever needed provoking "

I'm an

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"There is no catch all answer to this I reckon.

Every individual person has different unique wants and the person that can fulfil those isn't necessarily the one anyway, because they might not be able to provide what you actually need. Finding (or being found) by someone that can give that AND make the wants go away, (and you be the same for them of course) is when the magic tingles happen.

I think. Or something like that

Good lord

Speak Punky. It isn't like you to stop there...

What if you thought you had that but then it all changed?

I'll let you know when that happens because I haven't had it before

See, we are all doomed "

Nah there is a white knight for everyone

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I'd love to date but I don't really want the full on commitment just yet.

Problem is you meet the same people on pof and fab and they then don't see you as dateable.

I'm not looking to move in with anyone just enjoy date nights out and nights in.

Hard part is finding the right dating site to find the right person. Either that or join a club and see if you can find someone that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it just happens - when you least expect it -

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By *ootballFlowerCouple
over a year ago

Ollerton


"it just happens - when you least expect it - "

This! We met for some NSA fun and ended up married and have never been happier.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.


"When you find the answers let me know because I would like the same.

Me too "

When it comes to love and all the fluffy stuff, I'm a bit emotinaly stunted so I dont really get that finer points.

I quite happy in my own company, to have the bed to my self to spread out in and not have anyone complain about my snoring etc.

So please excuse my clumsy question, but why do you need someone else to make you happy?

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Good luck OP, it's certainly a quagmire (giggidy).

I tend to scare most people away and those I do attract just want me for my 'skills'.

I'll have periods of hunting but it's exhausting isn't it? Will stick to shagging for now, well it's something to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't discount Fab - you never know who might be here and some of the folk who are here maybe shouldn't be as 'the lifestyle' isn't for them. Feelings are funny things and you might find others who come to realise that they actually want the connection and shared emotions not just the genitalia rubbing.

Sometimes, it just comes out of nowhere - a song, a comment that intrigues you. Looking for it doesn't necessarily work but it walks up and pokes you in the face.

How do you go from 'I want to jump them' to 'I want to spend every evening cuddled up to them'? I don't think there is an easy answer but it can only help if you be yourself. Be as honest and open as you can be and keep communicating - real world stuff as well as mushy stuff. You'll build up and grow to the point where the other feels like they are part of you.

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"Don't discount Fab - you never know who might be here and some of the folk who are here maybe shouldn't be as 'the lifestyle' isn't for them. Feelings are funny things and you might find others who come to realise that they actually want the connection and shared emotions not just the genitalia rubbing.

Sometimes, it just comes out of nowhere - a song, a comment that intrigues you. Looking for it doesn't necessarily work but it walks up and pokes you in the face.

How do you go from 'I want to jump them' to 'I want to spend every evening cuddled up to them'? I don't think there is an easy answer but it can only help if you be yourself. Be as honest and open as you can be and keep communicating - real world stuff as well as mushy stuff. You'll build up and grow to the point where the other feels like they are part of you. "

*Big sigh*

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley


"When you find the answers let me know because I would like the same.

Me too

When it comes to love and all the fluffy stuff, I'm a bit emotinaly stunted so I dont really get that finer points.

I quite happy in my own company, to have the bed to my self to spread out in and not have anyone complain about my snoring etc.

So please excuse my clumsy question, but why do you need someone else to make you happy?"

Why? Because it's nice to have cuddles and snuggle in to someone in bed or watching TV. When you've had a crap day and you want someone just to make the dinner or a cup of tea.

Being independent and having my own space is great but occasionally it would be nice to not do everything on my own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd say just be yourself and show your true personality and the right guy for you will come along. If you portray yourself as something you're not then you will attracting the guys who are after the girl you are portraying rather than the real you if that makes sense.

Being me hasn't worked so far lol"

Be yourself. You're a stunningly beautiful woman. There's someone that'll like you for you. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, two things form the basis of a deep attraction. The first is what this whole site is about... it's being confident, sexy, adventurous, naughty, playful, fun, intoxicating. But this alone never seals the deal... and in spades it's just too much ego... like dating an overly exciting children's tv presenter. Exhausting.

What imo always transforms superficial attraction into deep spiritual attraction is when someone you like for some of the above reasons suddenly shows you a delicate and perhaps vulnerable side of them. They may cry, may confide worries, may reveal weaknesses and ask for help, or may exhibit delicate understanding of your own weaknesses and help you, may be keen to listen to you. It's this other list of stuff that suddenly turns us onto someone. They're not just lovely on the outside... they get us, they have a humility and understand the precariousness of life, they have an inner humanity... they EMPATHISE! This is what we all truly yearn for from friends and lovers. This is what forms the basis for a truly deep sexual and spiritual attraction. I hope you finding it

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By *rjimMan
over a year ago

nr bristol

Our middle names are "the tingles".

Coincidence ?

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?


" To love and be loved in return. Just me and him. No extras.

"

Isn't this something that the majority of us want


" need to be potential from the start!

Tell me what I need to do or say to be even given the chance!"

(I've never used a dating site) Be yourself that way you will hopefully meet someone who wants you for you. False words and writing what you think men might want to hear is setting yourself up for a long winded process and as you enjoy writing it would be a great profile.

Good luck _yldstyle

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