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Don't be an arsehole.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

Telling it how it is.

I'm not expecting anything from this post, I'm basically just sharing thoughts and personal experiences.

I'm far from a martyr, I'm a human being who feels far too much and wishes I could switch that shit off but I can't. I'd much rather be the kind of person that can turn thoughts and feelings off. Life must be so much easier that way. I do have a conscience though, and empathy. I try to look for the good in people, and get burnt a fair amount.

Like most people I've been through some nasty stuff. We all deal with it in different ways. Some rage, some ignore, some internalize, some self harm, some distance themselves. There's a whole myriad of dealing with things and no 2 people are the same. How is it then, that some people think it's ok to judge others and the way they deal/cope? The person is coping the best they can, it might not be the most straightforward way, or the easiest route but they're doing their best. I think offering a supporting shoulder and listening ear is far more productive than telling that person who's trying so hard that they're wrong.

I've self harmed, over eaten, starved myself, raged, gone off the rails, stuck firmly to the rails. I've distanced myself, I've gone OTT socially. Fact is, we've all been there in some way.

So yeah, I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I have a big heart. I only ever want what's best for people, unless they fuck me over. I'm sure there are plenty of people like this.

So my thought, well, you don't know what people are going through or battling. Rather than shoot them down, give them a hand eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree with this. You really don't know what other people are battling. Some appear fine on the outside but you never can really know what shit they're dealing with unless they let you in! I find its best not to judge anyone as from experience it seems everyone has issues or problems to a lesser or greater degree and everyone is just winging it most of the time!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will always like to think they know best for other people, even though they don't.

Tis why it's best to stick to you and be who you be.

And as for you personally, you're mint, so don't change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly, life is hard enough with what some have to deal with on a daily basis without the judgment of people who don't know or understand. I read something this morning off a friend and haven't replied yet as I can't find the right words of support.

I hope that people just take a moment when replying to a post and think of what they're posting. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Telling it how it is.

I'm not expecting anything from this post, I'm basically just sharing thoughts and personal experiences.

I'm far from a martyr, I'm a human being who feels far too much and wishes I could switch that shit off but I can't. I'd much rather be the kind of person that can turn thoughts and feelings off. Life must be so much easier that way. I do have a conscience though, and empathy. I try to look for the good in people, and get burnt a fair amount.

Like most people I've been through some nasty stuff. We all deal with it in different ways. Some rage, some ignore, some internalize, some self harm, some distance themselves. There's a whole myriad of dealing with things and no 2 people are the same. How is it then, that some people think it's ok to judge others and the way they deal/cope? The person is coping the best they can, it might not be the most straightforward way, or the easiest route but they're doing their best. I think offering a supporting shoulder and listening ear is far more productive than telling that person who's trying so hard that they're wrong.

I've self harmed, over eaten, starved myself, raged, gone off the rails, stuck firmly to the rails. I've distanced myself, I've gone OTT socially. Fact is, we've all been there in some way.

So yeah, I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I have a big heart. I only ever want what's best for people, unless they fuck me over. I'm sure there are plenty of people like this.

So my thought, well, you don't know what people are going through or battling. Rather than shoot them down, give them a hand eh?

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

From what I have read on the forums I have lived a very sheltered life, When reading certain threads I don't even post on them as I have absolutely no experience in what they have been through, Sometimes I sit back and think what would I have done or said if I was them but in most cases I have no idea

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep "

I'm roaring beaut. I'm roaring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep "

Love this!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly."

I'd have to agree with this sadly - you can only control to a certain extent (well, not you but the mods) what's posted.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Well said and concise Ms.Peach, I applaud your lovely openness

DL xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know what's happened to humanity but in the last decade or so. People have become extremely selfish and rude. Some kids wouldn't hesitate to pull a knife to rob pocket change. People would rather stand and video somebody in trouble and wouldn't try to help.

Barely any drivers on the road give way or say thank you anymore.

It scares me to think where we'll be in another 10 years.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

First thing to remember about people is everything they do is about themselves, it's never to do with you. Altrusits are rare.

Arseholes be arsing.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly."

I have to agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its my mantra in parenting groups on facebook. Nobody knows what someone is dealing with behind the screen. Is it really so hard to just not be a dick?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this "

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

There was a lady who walked down a dual carriageway naked and painted gold the other day.

Some arsewipe videoed it, others had taken pics and posted them on fbook. Some of the comments people had made were just so awful, demoralizing for this poor lady. It's sad that people can't think that maybe this lady was crying out for a bit of help

I agree OP, some opinions are best keep to yourself xx

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

And this is why I, and I'm sure many others, love you just the way you are!

Some people maybe are too sensitive for public forums, just as some people maybe are too insensitive. We are all different and we all deal with things in a way that we think works for us.

Personally I can be too sensitive in a lot of areas, not just here, but the forums to me is a place where I can relax and chat with others on various subjects without having to deal with the social anxiety i get, if i want a laff i can do that on here, if i want random its here, if I feel the need to pour my heart out I can also do that here, safe knowing that in will only allow myself to be judged by the people who's opinions matter, and most other opinions are usually supportive, those who aren't I will do my best to ignore. I only tell what I want people to know so won't be subjected to the awkwardness of people asking if I'm ok when I'm having a bad day, and I have a lot of those due to my depression and mental health. For me being here on these forums with familiar faces/boobs/bums is almost some kind of security as well as being therapeutic, the same as it is for 'functioning' people who chat to their close friends and family.

I'm rambling now so I'll have a short break from typing.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"There was a lady who walked down a dual carriageway naked and painted gold the other day.

Some arsewipe videoed it, others had taken pics and posted them on fbook. Some of the comments people had made were just so awful, demoralizing for this poor lady. It's sad that people can't think that maybe this lady was crying out for a bit of help

I agree OP, some opinions are best keep to yourself xx"

Grim, fucking grim.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!"

The internet as a whole where vulnerable people are likely to be targeted because of it yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things can come across different on a screen to face to face conversation.

I learnt a long time ago to let most things typed on here to just go over my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!"

That's a bit of an oversimplification of what I said. But in general, yeah, basically. It's been well documented that the internet can amplify emotions, either good or bad. People aren't going to be nice just because we want them to. When you participate, therefore, you should keep the nature of the medium in mind.

That's my opinion.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!

The internet as a whole where vulnerable people are likely to be targeted because of it yes."

Right then, let's get pubescent kids off the Xbox or whatever console they may play, as their hormones are all over the place, any women that may suffer from periods that knock them about a bit emotionally, old people who may not be at their best. If you're on tablets for depression or anything like that, see ya, you're high risk.

I think if people are being targeted BECAUSE they are vulnerable, like you said, well, it really is a shitty world isn't it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always think unless you have walked a day in someone's shoes you have no idea what goes on in their life. What they have to endure physically or emotionally to get through each second of the day.

I do however concur, and this is speaking from experience that when fragile of mind this isn't always the best place to hang out.

Ones perception of negativity in what people are saying can go off the scale. We all know that tone isn't always visible in a text.

Anyway OP you have a good evening and don't change the good bits about you for anyone. And if you think you have some bad bits only change them when you feel the time is right and able to do it.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!

The internet as a whole where vulnerable people are likely to be targeted because of it yes.

Right then, let's get pubescent kids off the Xbox or whatever console they may play, as their hormones are all over the place, any women that may suffer from periods that knock them about a bit emotionally, old people who may not be at their best. If you're on tablets for depression or anything like that, see ya, you're high risk.

I think if people are being targeted BECAUSE they are vulnerable, like you said, well, it really is a shitty world isn't it."

even i have been targeted on here. coz some people are just vultures who need to suck the life out of someone else to feel good.

like i said earlier, this shit is 100% about themselves and not you. no way would anyone who gives a fuck about you try to bring you down, no fucking way.

they suck, they suck balls, they suck shit. let them show themselves for what they really are and then we can see what humans truly can become and hide.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Right then, let's get pubescent kids off the Xbox or whatever console they may play, as their hormones are all over the place, any women that may suffer from periods that knock them about a bit emotionally, old people who may not be at their best. If you're on tablets for depression or anything like that, see ya, you're high risk.

I think if people are being targeted BECAUSE they are vulnerable, like you said, well, it really is a shitty world isn't it."

I agree it is as there are some shitty people about. I think the internet has made it easier for those people to be even shittier as most probably wouldn't do it in real life.

I think you are going OTT on your description of vulnerable people though.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

*you in general and not you personally.

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

My motto

It's nice to be nice..

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"Things can come across different on a screen to face to face conversation.

I learnt a long time ago to let most things typed on here to just go over my head "

The written word, the greatest form of (mis)communication.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I like to think that I'm supportive and some appreciate what I do. It might not seem much but just a minute of your time can mean a lot to others.

However we deal with our demons is entirely up to ourselves. There's no right or wrong way and definitely no quick fix for anything in this life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people forget that if things are getting to you there's a simple solution..

Log out of fab or avoid the forums.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"

Right then, let's get pubescent kids off the Xbox or whatever console they may play, as their hormones are all over the place, any women that may suffer from periods that knock them about a bit emotionally, old people who may not be at their best. If you're on tablets for depression or anything like that, see ya, you're high risk.

I think if people are being targeted BECAUSE they are vulnerable, like you said, well, it really is a shitty world isn't it.

I agree it is as there are some shitty people about. I think the internet has made it easier for those people to be even shittier as most probably wouldn't do it in real life.

I think you are going OTT on your description of vulnerable people though."

Then what makes a vulnerable person? There are so many levels, which is why I've simply said "you know what people, have a heart and a bit of compassion" in a few more words than that. I've admitted I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I'm a crazy motherfucker who gives a shit about other people and want to make sure people are ok.

Yes, you get arseholes everywhere, as LL said, you get them in the street mocking people.

As much as you get shitty people being big and brave at the keyboard, you also get others, who are being genuinely brave and using forums etc as part of their healing process. Gives them a chance to be part of "normal" society so to speak.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!

The internet as a whole where vulnerable people are likely to be targeted because of it yes.

Right then, let's get pubescent kids off the Xbox or whatever console they may play, as their hormones are all over the place, any women that may suffer from periods that knock them about a bit emotionally, old people who may not be at their best. If you're on tablets for depression or anything like that, see ya, you're high risk.

I think if people are being targeted BECAUSE they are vulnerable, like you said, well, it really is a shitty world isn't it."

Reality-check...

Its always been a shitty world, its just now people can be shitty from the other side of the world, not just down your street, thousands of people can be shitty, not just the handful you may know... the internet and social media is a double-edged sword, it can bring people together, or it can drive them apart.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I think people forget that if things are getting to you there's a simple solution..

Log out of fab or avoid the forums. "

Nobody is saying things are getting too much, what part of "don't be an arsehole" and trying to show people it's nice to be nice equates to needing to log out and avoid forums?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!

The internet as a whole where vulnerable people are likely to be targeted because of it yes.

Right then, let's get pubescent kids off the Xbox or whatever console they may play, as their hormones are all over the place, any women that may suffer from periods that knock them about a bit emotionally, old people who may not be at their best. If you're on tablets for depression or anything like that, see ya, you're high risk.

I think if people are being targeted BECAUSE they are vulnerable, like you said, well, it really is a shitty world isn't it.

Reality-check...

Its always been a shitty world, its just now people can be shitty from the other side of the world, not just down your street, thousands of people can be shitty, not just the handful you may know... the internet and social media is a double-edged sword, it can bring people together, or it can drive them apart. "

Yes, I'm far from stupid. I'm well aware the world can be extremely fucking shitty, I've been there. what I'm asking is, is it really that difficult to be nice to people? Wouldn't it be wonderful if as a community and society people could show support to people who may not be having a good day, but the general consensus seems to be, no actually, get them off the internet

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Then what makes a vulnerable person? There are so many levels, which is why I've simply said "you know what people, have a heart and a bit of compassion" in a few more words than that. I've admitted I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I'm a crazy motherfucker who gives a shit about other people and want to make sure people are ok.

"

I suppose everyone would have a different definition of a vulnerable person but hormonal wouldn't be one of them for me. In fact a raging women with PMT would scare the shit out of me and I am a female too.

You can give a shit about people and still have a view. What you seem to be asking is for people to think about the person and whether they are having a bad day/ had a bad life/ etc before you post an answer. I don't actually think that before I post, I just answer a post. We all have crap in our lives, expecting other people to make allowances for it even if they don't know anything about it is not really someone not giving a shit. I also think if people are using this type of forum as a healing process they are probably better suited to more appropriate sites for their healing ( whatever that may be ) and maybe use this one for fun

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"*you in general and not you personally."

I know what you meant x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Then what makes a vulnerable person? There are so many levels, which is why I've simply said "you know what people, have a heart and a bit of compassion" in a few more words than that. I've admitted I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I'm a crazy motherfucker who gives a shit about other people and want to make sure people are ok.

I suppose everyone would have a different definition of a vulnerable person but hormonal wouldn't be one of them for me. In fact a raging women with PMT would scare the shit out of me and I am a female too.

You can give a shit about people and still have a view. What you seem to be asking is for people to think about the person and whether they are having a bad day/ had a bad life/ etc before you post an answer. I don't actually think that before I post, I just answer a post. We all have crap in our lives, expecting other people to make allowances for it even if they don't know anything about it is not really someone not giving a shit. I also think if people are using this type of forum as a healing process they are probably better suited to more appropriate sites for their healing ( whatever that may be ) and maybe use this one for fun

"

I agree with this.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

It would be great if everyone could show support to others and be kind to each other - in reality that's not going to happen. In five years (and undoubtedly many more!) I've seen threads like this on the forum often - it hasn't changed anything.

I think if you own your own narrative and responses and try and show awareness to others, that's all you can do really. You can be part of the change but you can't make others change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Then what makes a vulnerable person? There are so many levels, which is why I've simply said "you know what people, have a heart and a bit of compassion" in a few more words than that. I've admitted I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I'm a crazy motherfucker who gives a shit about other people and want to make sure people are ok.

I suppose everyone would have a different definition of a vulnerable person but hormonal wouldn't be one of them for me. In fact a raging women with PMT would scare the shit out of me and I am a female too.

You can give a shit about people and still have a view. What you seem to be asking is for people to think about the person and whether they are having a bad day/ had a bad life/ etc before you post an answer. I don't actually think that before I post, I just answer a post. We all have crap in our lives, expecting other people to make allowances for it even if they don't know anything about it is not really someone not giving a shit. I also think if people are using this type of forum as a healing process they are probably better suited to more appropriate sites for their healing ( whatever that may be ) and maybe use this one for fun

I agree with this.

"

So do I

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

People quite often say on here that they don't care whether what they say hurts or offends people.

All you can do Peach is look after yourself on here because you can't control what others say, do, think or feel. You can only control what you do. This has been something that has become very evident to me over the last couple of days. You live and learn, as they say.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"It would be great if everyone could show support to others and be kind to each other - in reality that's not going to happen. In five years (and undoubtedly many more!) I've seen threads like this on the forum often - it hasn't changed anything.

I think if you own your own narrative and responses and try and show awareness to others, that's all you can do really. You can be part of the change but you can't make others change."

Awareness. That's the fucker I was looking for. I absolutely don't expect or want everyone to act like saints, fuck I'm a proper piss taker myself (within reason)

I was simply trying to raise awareness. Thank you Meli for finding the word I was looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would be great if everyone could show support to others and be kind to each other - in reality that's not going to happen. In five years (and undoubtedly many more!) I've seen threads like this on the forum often - it hasn't changed anything.

I think if you own your own narrative and responses and try and show awareness to others, that's all you can do really. You can be part of the change but you can't make others change.

Awareness. That's the fucker I was looking for. I absolutely don't expect or want everyone to act like saints, fuck I'm a proper piss taker myself (within reason)

I was simply trying to raise awareness. Thank you Meli for finding the word I was looking for."

Do you always know for 100% certain that someone you're taking the piss out of isn't actually having a really shitty time behind the scenes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many people don't want to be nice to others. They want to mock, belittle, be nasty, be hurtful and generally horrible to others via the internet. That's how some people get their thrills in life and nothing will change them and their behaviour because they have no empathy for others and it makes them feel big to be horrible to others via the internet. They think they are safe behind the keyboard.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway.

if you take yourself out of the vulnerable position then maybe that's a good short term solution but not a long term one. taking yourself out of immediate danger = good, but there needs to be something long term there to protect you so you can go back and become vulnerable again.

i do get this place is for 'fun', but real people are using it. and unless these forums are basically just adverts for us to place fuck meets then the people using them are gonna sometimes look for support here. and i love the people who do that.

if this site is not the cause of angst for someone (and other, antagonistic, users should not be classed as the site coz they are not the site and not the definition of swinging) then should they have to leave the site coz they aren't coping with things or just want to be treated like a human? i don't think so.

i do like when they reveal themselves though then others can see behind that facade they have built up and see the real person they are. i love the internet for giving people this capability.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would be great if everyone could show support to others and be kind to each other - in reality that's not going to happen. In five years (and undoubtedly many more!) I've seen threads like this on the forum often - it hasn't changed anything.

I think if you own your own narrative and responses and try and show awareness to others, that's all you can do really. You can be part of the change but you can't make others change.

Awareness. That's the fucker I was looking for. I absolutely don't expect or want everyone to act like saints, fuck I'm a proper piss taker myself (within reason)

I was simply trying to raise awareness. Thank you Meli for finding the word I was looking for.

Do you always know for 100% certain that someone you're taking the piss out of isn't actually having a really shitty time behind the scenes?"

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

if this site is not the cause of angst for someone (and other, antagonistic, users should not be classed as the site coz they are not the site and not the definition of swinging) then should they have to leave the site coz they aren't coping with things or just want to be treated like a human? i don't think so.

."

No one said they had to leave. Treating people like a human is a forum requirement, knowing what is going on in peoples private life before you answer a post isn't a requirement.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

So basically, instead of being a thread that is uplifting for those who may be having a tough time, they can see there are good peopke in the world, or a place where people can be open enough to say they're struggling, those that possibly would say "hmmm, I hear ya, I'm going through some shit and wouldn't mind a listening ear" are now probably thinking "oh shit, I really should go because I don't belong here either"

I've known many people that are on antidepressants etc, and telling them they shouldn't do something they generally enjoy as part of their healing process is pretty much the opposite of what the professionals say. Meh. I tried to be nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think seeking advice and help in a medium that is not really based towards giving advice and help is not really going to help.

We have all seen the posts from people just asking for profile help. Look at the way they are torn apart. Just for asking for profile help.

You want someone who has deep rooted issues to come on here and ask for help or advice or whatever? Well it would depend on how the forum was feeling i'd say. Because on a bad day they would have shitty comments left. On a good day, yes some

Posters would leave helpful and comforting comments.

But on the whole, the majority of Fab forum members are a finicky bunch who would piss on your chips as soon as look at you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway"

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"It would be great if everyone could show support to others and be kind to each other - in reality that's not going to happen. In five years (and undoubtedly many more!) I've seen threads like this on the forum often - it hasn't changed anything.

I think if you own your own narrative and responses and try and show awareness to others, that's all you can do really. You can be part of the change but you can't make others change.

Awareness. That's the fucker I was looking for. I absolutely don't expect or want everyone to act like saints, fuck I'm a proper piss taker myself (within reason)

I was simply trying to raise awareness. Thank you Meli for finding the word I was looking for.

Do you always know for 100% certain that someone you're taking the piss out of isn't actually having a really shitty time behind the scenes?"

I only take the piss out of people I am friends with, and my friends know they can talk to me about anything. I can't guarantee I know everything that's going on behind the scenes, and if I did hurt someone's feelings because of it I'd be mortified. Because I have a conscience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your issues will get you taken advantage of or trolled on the net

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it."

Now this I agree with completely.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"So basically, instead of being a thread that is uplifting for those who may be having a tough time, they can see there are good peopke in the world, or a place where people can be open enough to say they're struggling, those that possibly would say "hmmm, I hear ya, I'm going through some shit and wouldn't mind a listening ear" are now probably thinking "oh shit, I really should go because I don't belong here either"

I've known many people that are on antidepressants etc, and telling them they shouldn't do something they generally enjoy as part of their healing process is pretty much the opposite of what the professionals say. Meh. I tried to be nice. "

Some people disagree with you, thats the nature of a forum. Try not to get upset

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"I get what you're saying, OP, and in an ideal world I would agree. However, I've always been of the opinion that the internet isn't really the best place for people who are in a fragile state. Regardless of what people "should" do, normatively, they don't necessarily in practice. And I think users of internet forums/chatrooms/etc. should realize that from the outset and act accordingly.

I have to agree with this

That those who may not be in their strongest place mentally should avoid chatrooms/forums?

Fuck me d*unk, there'll only be a handful of people left!

The internet as a whole where vulnerable people are likely to be targeted because of it yes.

Right then, let's get pubescent kids off the Xbox or whatever console they may play, as their hormones are all over the place, any women that may suffer from periods that knock them about a bit emotionally, old people who may not be at their best. If you're on tablets for depression or anything like that, see ya, you're high risk.

I think if people are being targeted BECAUSE they are vulnerable, like you said, well, it really is a shitty world isn't it.

Reality-check...

Its always been a shitty world, its just now people can be shitty from the other side of the world, not just down your street, thousands of people can be shitty, not just the handful you may know... the internet and social media is a double-edged sword, it can bring people together, or it can drive them apart.

Yes, I'm far from stupid. I'm well aware the world can be extremely fucking shitty, I've been there. what I'm asking is, is it really that difficult to be nice to people? Wouldn't it be wonderful if as a community and society people could show support to people who may not be having a good day, but the general consensus seems to be, no actually, get them off the internet "

Hey, don't shoot the messenger!

I'd love it if the world was a better, more caring place, but it isn't, and it never will be.

I was a mature student 20 years ago, and one of the core subjects that we had to take was "Communication".

There were scenario based discussions, group talking lessons, role-play etc, and the general mantra was about "listening, feeling and understanding", the premise being that, if everyone was helpful, honest, understanding and "giving", then the workplace would be transformed, with a knock-on effect that "society" would benefit.

It didn't go down well when I pointed out that all the tutor was doing was setting these kids up to be taken advantage of by those around them.

In an ideal world, it would be great, but unfortunately many people are just out for what they can get, and those who are "giving" etc end up on the shitty end of the stick.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"So basically, instead of being a thread that is uplifting for those who may be having a tough time, they can see there are good peopke in the world, or a place where people can be open enough to say they're struggling, those that possibly would say "hmmm, I hear ya, I'm going through some shit and wouldn't mind a listening ear" are now probably thinking "oh shit, I really should go because I don't belong here either"

I've known many people that are on antidepressants etc, and telling them they shouldn't do something they generally enjoy as part of their healing process is pretty much the opposite of what the professionals say. Meh. I tried to be nice.

Some people disagree with you, thats the nature of a forum. Try not to get upset "

I'm not upset in the slightest, I just find it disappointing that people seem so opposed to showing a bit of compassion now and then. Obviously I know people can't read minds and don't know beforehand if someone is down, I was simply attempting to say "hey peeps, sometimes things aren't great, isn't it wonderful to be nice"

Fail!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

Now this I agree with completely. "

That was what she posted in her first post and what others agreed with but you didn't seem to like that post much. Courtney has explained her post ten times better than I tried to expand on when I agreed with her post though

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it."

i just think the vultures should fuck off. but then again i'm not that vulnerable coz i don't allow myself to be.

and i don't even hate the person i've become, even though fundamentally it's not me, but like you say adapt to the environment. so i did that.

most people are shit i learned and so i distance myself from them. if i ever found out i really was an alien i'd be well happy with that, honestly.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

I'm not upset in the slightest, I just find it disappointing that people seem so opposed to showing a bit of compassion now and then. Obviously I know people can't read minds and don't know beforehand if someone is down, I was simply attempting to say "hey peeps, sometimes things aren't great, isn't it wonderful to be nice"

Fail!"

I know what you are saying and thats why I said what I said, in reality no one can know or make allowances for something they have no knowledge of before they post, it doesn't mean they have no compassion or are not nice people, it means they are answering a post on the internet how they think it should be answered.

Don't get me wrong, I know all about unfriendly / harsh posts and how people can get upset about them and lets face it some posts can be vile, but I think those people posting those posts are not responsible for the people who are having a shit day/ week/ year.

I think your intentions are lovely, I just don't think you are being realistic in what you expect from the net

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

Now this I agree with completely.

That was what she posted in her first post and what others agreed with but you didn't seem to like that post much. Courtney has explained her post ten times better than I tried to expand on when I agreed with her post though "

Correct, in the original post, it came across to me (and like I'm well aware, we all interpret things differently) that if you're not 100% you may as well not bother being here.

As I said, there are plenty of levels of vulnerability on differing scales etc and in differing circumstances. We're all aware people can be shitty, but wouldn't it be lovely if they weren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would be great if everyone could show support to others and be kind to each other - in reality that's not going to happen. In five years (and undoubtedly many more!) I've seen threads like this on the forum often - it hasn't changed anything.

I think if you own your own narrative and responses and try and show awareness to others, that's all you can do really. You can be part of the change but you can't make others change.

Awareness. That's the fucker I was looking for. I absolutely don't expect or want everyone to act like saints, fuck I'm a proper piss taker myself (within reason)

I was simply trying to raise awareness. Thank you Meli for finding the word I was looking for.

Do you always know for 100% certain that someone you're taking the piss out of isn't actually having a really shitty time behind the scenes?

I only take the piss out of people I am friends with, and my friends know they can talk to me about anything. I can't guarantee I know everything that's going on behind the scenes, and if I did hurt someone's feelings because of it I'd be mortified. Because I have a conscience. "

I think most people feel the same. But there's some really crap people that don't give a shit and there's nothing we can do about them.

I think you're being a bit unfair inferring that most people on the thread are defending the shitty uncaring types- I don't think they are at all. I think most of us are just realistic and know the internet and life in general has people that don't care and never will.

I agree the world could be a nicer place. It just isn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had stuff going on since last April and it's still going on, it's serious and extremely stressful. I use this place as a distraction, answering people's problems or reading people's problems takes my mind away from the stuff I've got going on.

I grab happiness or an opportunity for my mind not to be on all the stuff that's going on, yesterday I commented how some dick spoilt the episode of game of thrones I was yet to watch, I got jumped on for causing drama or someone else said they wished their biggest problem in life was a tv show being spoilt.

It's like no mate you have no idea what I'm dealing with on a daily basis.

I totally get where you're coming from peach.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

i just think the vultures should fuck off. but then again i'm not that vulnerable coz i don't allow myself to be.

and i don't even hate the person i've become, even though fundamentally it's not me, but like you say adapt to the environment. so i did that.

most people are shit i learned and so i distance myself from them. if i ever found out i really was an alien i'd be well happy with that, honestly."

Fuck the vultures raaawwwrrrr

Not literally like, coz that's what they want. I think I'd like to be alien too.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I've had stuff going on since last April and it's still going on, it's serious and extremely stressful. I use this place as a distraction, answering people's problems or reading people's problems takes my mind away from the stuff I've got going on.

I grab happiness or an opportunity for my mind not to be on all the stuff that's going on, yesterday I commented how some dick spoilt the episode of game of thrones I was yet to watch, I got jumped on for causing drama or someone else said they wished their biggest problem in life was a tv show being spoilt.

It's like no mate you have no idea what I'm dealing with on a daily basis.

I totally get where you're coming from peach. "

Thank you x

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

i just think the vultures should fuck off. but then again i'm not that vulnerable coz i don't allow myself to be.

and i don't even hate the person i've become, even though fundamentally it's not me, but like you say adapt to the environment. so i did that.

most people are shit i learned and so i distance myself from them. if i ever found out i really was an alien i'd be well happy with that, honestly.

Fuck the vultures raaawwwrrrr

Not literally like, coz that's what they want. I think I'd like to be alien too."

i fantasize about pooping on them.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

i just think the vultures should fuck off. but then again i'm not that vulnerable coz i don't allow myself to be.

and i don't even hate the person i've become, even though fundamentally it's not me, but like you say adapt to the environment. so i did that.

most people are shit i learned and so i distance myself from them. if i ever found out i really was an alien i'd be well happy with that, honestly.

Fuck the vultures raaawwwrrrr

Not literally like, coz that's what they want. I think I'd like to be alien too.

i fantasize about pooping on them. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

i just think the vultures should fuck off. but then again i'm not that vulnerable coz i don't allow myself to be.

and i don't even hate the person i've become, even though fundamentally it's not me, but like you say adapt to the environment. so i did that.

most people are shit i learned and so i distance myself from them. if i ever found out i really was an alien i'd be well happy with that, honestly."

I think it's sad that you think most people are shit. I'd say that most people aren't shit. I asked for advice yesterday on my status and I got loads of helpful advice.

I didn't bother asking for advice on the forums.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

But Yeah, I'm mad as a box of frogs.... don't mean I'm not a quality fuck tho

And breathe....

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside


"Telling it how it is.

I'm not expecting anything from this post, I'm basically just sharing thoughts and personal experiences.

I'm far from a martyr, I'm a human being who feels far too much and wishes I could switch that shit off but I can't. I'd much rather be the kind of person that can turn thoughts and feelings off. Life must be so much easier that way. I do have a conscience though, and empathy. I try to look for the good in people, and get burnt a fair amount.

Like most people I've been through some nasty stuff. We all deal with it in different ways. Some rage, some ignore, some internalize, some self harm, some distance themselves. There's a whole myriad of dealing with things and no 2 people are the same. How is it then, that some people think it's ok to judge others and the way they deal/cope? The person is coping the best they can, it might not be the most straightforward way, or the easiest route but they're doing their best. I think offering a supporting shoulder and listening ear is far more productive than telling that person who's trying so hard that they're wrong.

I've self harmed, over eaten, starved myself, raged, gone off the rails, stuck firmly to the rails. I've distanced myself, I've gone OTT socially. Fact is, we've all been there in some way.

So yeah, I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I have a big heart. I only ever want what's best for people, unless they fuck me over. I'm sure there are plenty of people like this.

So my thought, well, you don't know what people are going through or battling. Rather than shoot them down, give them a hand eh?

"

Trouble is this is the internet for every 1 person that empathises there will be 3 who criticise. Some people hit troll mode way to easily nowadays regardless of people's personal problems. Take the fact that you care as a good thing and as hard as it may be just acknowledge the fact that some people just want to sit and watch the world burn. I wear my heart on my sleeve....but sometimes I just put a coat on to cover it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think seeking advice and help in a medium that is not really based towards giving advice and help is not really going to help.

We have all seen the posts from people just asking for profile help. Look at the way they are torn apart. Just for asking for profile help.

You want someone who has deep rooted issues to come on here and ask for help or advice or whatever? Well it would depend on how the forum was feeling i'd say. Because on a bad day they would have shitty comments left. On a good day, yes some

Posters would leave helpful and comforting comments.

But on the whole, the majority of Fab forum members are a finicky bunch who would piss on your chips as soon as look at you.

"

It depends on who posts the thread and who is online. Some threads can be really caring with useful information. Others can be really hideous the way people rip the shit out of them.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"i agree with princess.

people shouldn't have to leave the internet just coz people are treating them like shit. no way. this teaches us that bullies can get rid of people and that this is acceptable. erm no, wrong answer every time is to leave a situation....long term anyway

See, I feel like this I completely missing my point.

I'm not saying that people who are bullies are fine or that it's acceptable that people leave because they are being bullied.

What I'm saying, rather, is that it is the nature of the internet (especially forums and chat rooms) to have people posting who don't think about others' feelings or who are deliberately mean. That's the way it is. What people need to do is realize that and act accordingly. Either don't let it bother you or, if you can't do that, then find a place that's better suited.

I'll give you a different example - the internet is also a place of scams. When we use the internet we have to get used to that. We have to be skeptical and act appropriately. If we can't, then we will be scammed. People who are gullible and susceptible to these scams probably shouldn't use internet banking, for example.

It's not about letting bullies win, it's about understanding your environment and acting competently within it.

i just think the vultures should fuck off. but then again i'm not that vulnerable coz i don't allow myself to be.

and i don't even hate the person i've become, even though fundamentally it's not me, but like you say adapt to the environment. so i did that.

most people are shit i learned and so i distance myself from them. if i ever found out i really was an alien i'd be well happy with that, honestly.

I think it's sad that you think most people are shit. I'd say that most people aren't shit. I asked for advice yesterday on my status and I got loads of helpful advice.

I didn't bother asking for advice on the forums. "

it's not that sad to me really. think i have a good handle on reality and my world doesn't fit into that and so, i will fantasize now about a world where i do fit in and my people exist and that'll make me happy.

past caring now. really.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

On the flip side of the coin...there are some posters who gauge you, learn you. There have been times when I may not necessarily be posting hilarious musings and being my jolly self. They've taken the time to inbox me personally to see if I'm ok. So as much as there are the vultures that are exactly that, can we please have a round of applause for those caring, wonderful, genuine people who grace the forums.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, which is actually on my sleeve as per usual. And no, I'm not gonna cover it, it's who I am.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"On the flip side of the coin...there are some posters who gauge you, learn you. There have been times when I may not necessarily be posting hilarious musings and being my jolly self. They've taken the time to inbox me personally to see if I'm ok. So as much as there are the vultures that are exactly that, can we please have a round of applause for those caring, wonderful, genuine people who grace the forums.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, which is actually on my sleeve as per usual. And no, I'm not gonna cover it, it's who I am."

Thank you, for being you! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't help feeling that the bullies and piss takers have inner issues, and problems from childhood or relationships, that have caused them to be as they are. I want to offer them help.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep "

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep

"

I thought the lions were the English not the Welsh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep

I thought the lions were the English not the Welsh? "

If you're using it like that then the English would be lions and the Welsh would be dragons.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes. "

Are there any justifiable excuses for being an arsehole?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes.

Are there any justifiable excuses for being an arsehole?"

Yes, if you're shagging them or want to shag them, then you will find some way of justifying them being an arsehole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes. "

My thoughts entirely. You never know what the arsehole has been through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But Yeah, I'm mad as a box of frogs.... don't mean I'm not a quality fuck tho

And breathe...."

The best fucks usually are bonkers

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people are fighting a battle you know nothing about ...

Be kind - always!

x

I'm sure I read that in a Christmas Cracker or something

But I totally agree x

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes.

Are there any justifiable excuses for being an arsehole?

Yes, if you're shagging them or want to shag them, then you will find some way of justifying them being an arsehole "

So there's no excuse for being an arsehole to somebody your NOT shagging or want to shag?

Or is that just me twisting it around?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep "

My friend Aslan says this may not be true.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"Most people are fighting a battle you know nothing about ...

Be kind - always!

x

I'm sure I read that in a Christmas Cracker or something

But I totally agree x"

This is true!

That person who walked past you earlier, no not that one, the one you didn't pay any attention to because they looked normal, you have no idea what they have, or are going through.

I know this from the flip side, beginning of this year i had really bad depression, anxiety and paranoia. My anxiety was so bad I was physically shaking uncontrollably, being out in public made me very self conscious, thinking I stuck out like a sore thumb and everybody was looking at me shaking, wandering what was wrong with me and judging. It took me quite a while to realise that I was just another face in the crowd going unnoticed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having read through more than just the cheesy lion quote now, I think there's something to be said about not being judgemental of the people being judgemental if you're truly advocating for people to deal with shit in their own way.

Get on with your own shit and don't fuck with lions or sheep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can't find a kind person, then you should be one! That's pretty much my mantra!

Hope you're ok PrincessPeach. X x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most people are fighting a battle you know nothing about ...

Be kind - always!

x

I'm sure I read that in a Christmas Cracker or something

But I totally agree x

This is true!

That person who walked past you earlier, no not that one, the one you didn't pay any attention to because they looked normal, you have no idea what they have, or are going through.

I know this from the flip side, beginning of this year i had really bad depression, anxiety and paranoia. My anxiety was so bad I was physically shaking uncontrollably, being out in public made me very self conscious, thinking I stuck out like a sore thumb and everybody was looking at me shaking, wandering what was wrong with me and judging.

It took me quite a while to realise that I was just another face in the crowd going unnoticed."

Did feeling unnoticed make you feel better?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Telling it how it is.

I'm not expecting anything from this post, I'm basically just sharing thoughts and personal experiences.

I'm far from a martyr, I'm a human being who feels far too much and wishes I could switch that shit off but I can't. I'd much rather be the kind of person that can turn thoughts and feelings off. Life must be so much easier that way. I do have a conscience though, and empathy. I try to look for the good in people, and get burnt a fair amount.

Like most people I've been through some nasty stuff. We all deal with it in different ways. Some rage, some ignore, some internalize, some self harm, some distance themselves. There's a whole myriad of dealing with things and no 2 people are the same. How is it then, that some people think it's ok to judge others and the way they deal/cope? The person is coping the best they can, it might not be the most straightforward way, or the easiest route but they're doing their best. I think offering a supporting shoulder and listening ear is far more productive than telling that person who's trying so hard that they're wrong.

I've self harmed, over eaten, starved myself, raged, gone off the rails, stuck firmly to the rails. I've distanced myself, I've gone OTT socially. Fact is, we've all been there in some way.

So yeah, I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I have a big heart. I only ever want what's best for people, unless they fuck me over. I'm sure there are plenty of people like this.

So my thought, well, you don't know what people are going through or battling. Rather than shoot them down, give them a hand eh?

"

You're not wrong although some people who are feeling sensitive /insecure will FEEL judged when no judgement has taken place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Things can come across different on a screen to face to face conversation.

I learnt a long time ago to let most things typed on here to just go over my head

The written word, the greatest form of (poor)communication."

FTFY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Then what makes a vulnerable person? There are so many levels, which is why I've simply said "you know what people, have a heart and a bit of compassion" in a few more words than that. I've admitted I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I'm a crazy motherfucker who gives a shit about other people and want to make sure people are ok.

I suppose everyone would have a different definition of a vulnerable person but hormonal wouldn't be one of them for me. In fact a raging women with PMT would scare the shit out of me and I am a female too.

You can give a shit about people and still have a view. What you seem to be asking is for people to think about the person and whether they are having a bad day/ had a bad life/ etc before you post an answer. I don't actually think that before I post, I just answer a post. We all have crap in our lives, expecting other people to make allowances for it even if they don't know anything about it is not really someone not giving a shit. I also think if people are using this type of forum as a healing process they are probably better suited to more appropriate sites for their healing ( whatever that may be ) and maybe use this one for fun

"

Probably not healing per se but when a person relays some of their crap on a thread and others relate to said crap, the knowledge of others having been in the same boat can be therapeutic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Telling it how it is.

I'm not expecting anything from this post, I'm basically just sharing thoughts and personal experiences.

I'm far from a martyr, I'm a human being who feels far too much and wishes I could switch that shit off but I can't. I'd much rather be the kind of person that can turn thoughts and feelings off. Life must be so much easier that way. I do have a conscience though, and empathy. I try to look for the good in people, and get burnt a fair amount.

Like most people I've been through some nasty stuff. We all deal with it in different ways. Some rage, some ignore, some internalize, some self harm, some distance themselves. There's a whole myriad of dealing with things and no 2 people are the same. How is it then, that some people think it's ok to judge others and the way they deal/cope? The person is coping the best they can, it might not be the most straightforward way, or the easiest route but they're doing their best. I think offering a supporting shoulder and listening ear is far more productive than telling that person who's trying so hard that they're wrong.

I've self harmed, over eaten, starved myself, raged, gone off the rails, stuck firmly to the rails. I've distanced myself, I've gone OTT socially. Fact is, we've all been there in some way.

So yeah, I'm a crazy motherfucker, but I have a big heart. I only ever want what's best for people, unless they fuck me over. I'm sure there are plenty of people like this.

So my thought, well, you don't know what people are going through or battling. Rather than shoot them down, give them a hand eh?

You're not wrong although some people who are feeling sensitive /insecure will FEEL judged when no judgement has taken place."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't help feeling that the bullies and piss takers have inner issues, and problems from childhood or relationships, that have caused them to be as they are. I want to offer them help. "

I'd agree that those who put others down often do so in an attempt to raise their own self-esteem. Shame really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its all a moment in time- think you have a way to cope with things and then next time you do something completely different to deal with it - ive always been reasonably good at accepting peoples differences but my job now has made me much more aware of others way of looking at things - no right or wrong - no condemnation - maybe consequences to bear - but for that moment in time - it is what it is - nanna loves ya x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember, lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep

I thought the lions were the English not the Welsh?

If you're using it like that then the English would be lions and the Welsh would be dragons. "

I think I've met her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes.

Are there any justifiable excuses for being an arsehole?"

Sometimes whether someoene is an arsehole or a saint is a matter of perspective.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes.

Are there any justifiable excuses for being an arsehole?

Sometimes whether someoene is an arsehole or a saint is a matter of perspective."

Always drago ......

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"Most people are fighting a battle you know nothing about ...

Be kind - always!

x

I'm sure I read that in a Christmas Cracker or something

But I totally agree x

This is true!

That person who walked past you earlier, no not that one, the one you didn't pay any attention to because they looked normal, you have no idea what they have, or are going through.

I know this from the flip side, beginning of this year i had really bad depression, anxiety and paranoia. My anxiety was so bad I was physically shaking uncontrollably, being out in public made me very self conscious, thinking I stuck out like a sore thumb and everybody was looking at me shaking, wandering what was wrong with me and judging.

It took me quite a while to realise that I was just another face in the crowd going unnoticed.

Did feeling unnoticed make you feel better? "

As I said I felt very self conscious, thinking people saw me as some kind of fruit loop or druggie with the shakes, realising that people weren't looking at me did make me feel a bit better about my situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read about one third of the way down and I can't help but mention .....

I agree with all that P.P. writes but then ........... shouldn't that understanding ( not knowing what someone has been through ) also be extended to the those who this thread openly judges as arseholes.

Are there any justifiable excuses for being an arsehole?

Sometimes whether someoene is an arsehole or a saint is a matter of perspective.

Always drago ...... "

I think there are some unanimous arseholes throughout history. .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Different day...same drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/08/17 12:38:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm not upset in the slightest, I just find it disappointing that people seem so opposed to showing a bit of compassion now and then. Obviously I know people can't read minds and don't know beforehand if someone is down, I was simply attempting to say "hey peeps, sometimes things aren't great, isn't it wonderful to be nice"

Fail!

I know what you are saying and thats why I said what I said, in reality no one can know or make allowances for something they have no knowledge of before they post, it doesn't mean they have no compassion or are not nice people, it means they are answering a post on the internet how they think it should be answered.

Don't get me wrong, I know all about unfriendly / harsh posts and how people can get upset about them and lets face it some posts can be vile, but I think those people posting those posts are not responsible for the people who are having a shit day/ week/ year.

I think your intentions are lovely, I just don't think you are being realistic in what you expect from the net "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would be great if everyone could show support to others and be kind to each other - in reality that's not going to happen. In five years (and undoubtedly many more!) I've seen threads like this on the forum often - it hasn't changed anything.

I think if you own your own narrative and responses and try and show awareness to others, that's all you can do really. You can be part of the change but you can't make others change.

Awareness. That's the fucker I was looking for. I absolutely don't expect or want everyone to act like saints, fuck I'm a proper piss taker myself (within reason)

I was simply trying to raise awareness. Thank you Meli for finding the word I was looking for.

Do you always know for 100% certain that someone you're taking the piss out of isn't actually having a really shitty time behind the scenes?

I only take the piss out of people I am friends with, and my friends know they can talk to me about anything. I can't guarantee I know everything that's going on behind the scenes, and if I did hurt someone's feelings because of it I'd be mortified. Because I have a conscience.

I think most people feel the same. But there's some really crap people that don't give a shit and there's nothing we can do about them.

I think you're being a bit unfair inferring that most people on the thread are defending the shitty uncaring types- I don't think they are at all. I think most of us are just realistic and know the internet and life in general has people that don't care and never will.

I agree the world could be a nicer place. It just isn't. "

I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most people are fighting a battle you know nothing about ...

Be kind - always!

x

I'm sure I read that in a Christmas Cracker or something

But I totally agree x

This is true!

That person who walked past you earlier, no not that one, the one you didn't pay any attention to because they looked normal, you have no idea what they have, or are going through.

I know this from the flip side, beginning of this year i had really bad depression, anxiety and paranoia. My anxiety was so bad I was physically shaking uncontrollably, being out in public made me very self conscious, thinking I stuck out like a sore thumb and everybody was looking at me shaking, wandering what was wrong with me and judging.

It took me quite a while to realise that I was just another face in the crowd going unnoticed.

Did feeling unnoticed make you feel better?

As I said I felt very self conscious, thinking people saw me as some kind of fruit loop or druggie with the shakes, realising that people weren't looking at me did make me feel a bit better about my situation.

"

That's good. x

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