FabSwingers.com forum: Do you forgive easily?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I always thought I was forgiving, and laid back when people make mistakes. After all we're only human.

But after a conversation with a friend, it seems I hold grudges of someone wrongs me. (Something I need to change I think. )

Can you quickly brush things Away and move on? Do you make sure they suffer for what mistakes someone makes? Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

How forgiving are you personally?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will forgive anyone that is sincere however anyone that takes the piss i would cut out of my life like they no longer exist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't hold a grudge, I just put their photo on my darts board, my ex FWB,s cock pic is very holey XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive, but I never forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive. But I remember. So third chances (everyone gets a second one right?) are rare as hens' teeth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust too easily and I forgive too easily but I only give one second chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on an individual basis and the reason why, so many factors to consider OP that I cannot possibly generalise forgiveness.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I always thought I was forgiving, and laid back when people make mistakes. After all we're only human.

But after a conversation with a friend, it seems I hold grudges of someone wrongs me. (Something I need to change I think. )

Can you quickly brush things Away and move on? Do you make sure they suffer for what mistakes someone makes? Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

How forgiving are you personally?

Not at all,I'd hold a grudge for a lifetime.

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By *i1971Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

I may well forgive, but not forget

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I used to forgive easily in the past, along the way I find people never change, so I am a lot harder now.

Some I can forgive but as others have said I never forget to never let my guard down 100%.

Others I just think fuck you and fuck off, so to some they think I'm a bitch, but I can live with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart for my parents, grandparents and some aunts and uncles the only person I've ever unconditionally trusted was my soul-mate and that was a mutually reciprocated circumstance....

So we never even considered the choices we made as individual were done without the upmost sincerity, kindness love and respect for each-other in mind ....

But in day to day circumstances I don't give my trust easily to other people, but if I do, I will take that trust away if that trust is betrayed ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I forgive, but I never forget "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm pretty forgiving and that gets taken advantage of. I don't always forget everything but do give people a second chance. There is only one person I can honestly say I will never forget and forgive what they've done. X

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Takes me a while to forgive someone if they've been an arse

But will eventually ...theres no point in holding a grudge

Life's to short for that

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I can forgive but I never forget

Unfortunately I can be a right c**t and will throw it up at any given moment

Best not cross me then I'm lovely

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

You ever heard of cutting off your own nose to spite your own face .

That's me op but I'm glad I'm like that due to another famous saying

Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can forgive but I never forget

Unfortunately I can be a right c**t and will throw it up at any given moment

Best not cross me then I'm lovely

This is how I am now. When I said I hold a grudge, that what I tend to do. Throw it in there faces, or I use it as my ave card in an argument if i need it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Takes me a while to forgive someone if they've been an arse

But will eventually ...theres no point in holding a grudge

Life's to short for that "

This is what I'm trying to learn. Just to forget about things more. Life is too short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not forgiving, but I also don't seek revenge. I tend to just cut people out of my life who I feel have acted unforgiveably. I consider it to be my main personality fault.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'm a Scorpio.

Cross me and I will take it to my grave.

I still hold a grudge against kids who wronged me from primary school.

Yes I can remember that far back.

I simply do not forgive.

And if someone crossed or hurt my family that would be some liam neeson taken shit.

I will find you and I will kill you.

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

It depends on the act really...somethings are more easy to forgive than others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very forgiving. Life's too short to hold grudges.

But I guess some would call me a walkover

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will forgive anyone that is sincere however anyone that takes the piss i would cut out of my life like they no longer exist

I depends on what they've done but i'll agree with that.

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

Depends on the circumstances.

I had a situation with one of a close group of friends earlier in the year, it was uncalled for and very hurtful. I've let it go for the greater good (to maintain the friendship group), but it is neither forgiven nor forgotten and I don't feel the same about her and would not extend the same loyalties to her now as I would my other two friends.

So yes, I guess you could say I do hold a grudge and don't forgive easily, but I think that comes because of past experience and as a self protection mechanism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just let it go over my head never wish harm on anyone , let the karma police Sort it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to. I let many boyfriends take the mick. Never again.

I know I never forget if someone upsets me. I might forgive in some fashion but I'll never forget it or trust the same again.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I'm a 3 strikes and you're out kind of gal

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I can forgive but I never forget

Unfortunately I can be a right c**t and will throw it up at any given moment

Best not cross me then I'm lovely

This is how I am now. When I said I hold a grudge, that what I tend to do. Throw it in there faces, or I use it as my ave card in an argument if i need it.

I have tried to see the good in everyone but have been royally fucked over in the past with being too nice and thinking I was getting it back in return

Now it's a one strike and your out haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we talking about forgiving other people or forgiving yourself?

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I try to see the good in everyone.

I am a forgiving person, I believe everyone deserves a second chance & shouldn't be judged on former mistakes, we've all made them in our lives.

But there's a line, once crossed. That's it, I will cut someone out my life without a second thought.

I rarely hold grudges though, that's negative energy & I refuse to waste an ounce of mine on anyone, life's too short for that shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always forgive for myself I hate having hatred inside. It only hurt yourself not good. See I'm sweet little thing

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I try to see the good in everyone.

I am a forgiving person, I believe everyone deserves a second chance & shouldn't be judged on former mistakes, we've all made them in our lives.

But there's a line, once crossed. That's it, I will cut someone out my life without a second thought.

I rarely hold grudges though, that's negative energy & I refuse to waste an ounce of mine on anyone, life's too short for that shit.

Agreed

I don't hold a grudge I just never forget and the slightest thing that is reminiscent of said upset brings it to the forefront of my mind

I have been known to cut people out in a blink of an eye ... but tbh I've never regretted doing that

Fakes , bullshitters , liars , cheats , downright spiteful and nasty people I can do without

People spreading a little happiness ... high five

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgive but not forget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I forgive, but I never forget "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may just walk away but you are dead to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some.... very few...things I find it hard to forgive.

There are some things that are easier to forgive....

Those that I find hard to forgive I try to bury in that box we all have in our mind and try never to go there but sometimes the strangest unconnected thing can bring back those memories...

But yesterday has gone tomorrow is just a dream and today is where we are. To those who offend then I simply ask you forgive me for being human and imperfect i will try to be better tomorrow.

If only it was as easy to forgive myself as it is to forgive others ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I will forgive anyone that is sincere however anyone that takes the piss i would cut out of my life like they no longer exist

I depends on what they've done but i'll agree with that."

Does it also depend on who they are?

Family? A friend? Do each get different treatment?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought I was forgiving, and laid back when people make mistakes. After all we're only human.

But after a conversation with a friend, it seems I hold grudges of someone wrongs me. (Something I need to change I think. )

Can you quickly brush things Away and move on? Do you make sure they suffer for what mistakes someone makes? Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

How forgiving are you personally?

If someone for little or no reason or even the fact it's got nothing to do with them, causes severe trouble towards another person (which ruins lives), then no I can't forgive. Nor do such nasty folk deserve to be forgiven.

I'm sorry but some things are unforgivable. Even more so when that hurt has been caused by a friend of many years.

Our world unfortunately is full of horrid selfish folk who gain pleasure from hurting others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will forgive anyone that is sincere however anyone that takes the piss i would cut out of my life like they no longer exist

I depends on what they've done but i'll agree with that.

Does it also depend on who they are?

Family? A friend? Do each get different treatment? "

Family is different, i'd more easily forgive them obviously but there are still limits.

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By *on and TammyCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

If someone is genuinely contrite then yes I have been forgiving. If they've been unwilling to apologise and explain their actions, or haven't done so with any real conviction, then I find it difficult to let things go. A position I hate being in because it's emotionally draining. Always to do with relatives to be honest.

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

I am forgiving of people. I don't hold grudges. Life is too short to hold on to negativity.I will walk out of someone's life and not look back if I feel I have to.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Yes I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgive if it's genuine, but I have the memory of an elephant and never ever forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

depends - most things i can forgive but somethings i will never do that for - if i really care about the person then they will get more leeway but i will never forget how they hurt me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Forgive if it's genuine, but I have the memory of an elephant and never ever forget "

You beat me to the saying, apart from the forgive bit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on what the wrong doing was

If it was something trivial then I will forgive but not forget, but if they did or said it again then I couldn't forgive

But if it was something I firmly believe was a massive issue then no I won't forgive and woukd hold a grudge and never speak again

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont hold grudges. If someone pisses me off i just take them out my life never to be thought about again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found that in the past, my forgiving nature has been interpreted as soft. Then the perpetrator does something similar. Then I cut then out of my life after explaining why. No going back. Forgive and forget once. Any more and it's bye bye. Why have people who disrespectful t and hurt me in my life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been told I am too forgiving and at certain times in my life I was treated very badly due to the fact that I'd forgive every time. I see the best in people and although this may sound like an endearing quality it basically means I'm a walk over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No very rarely do I forgive I'm a Scorpio lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive but never forget

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm a scorpio so bit of a cunt when it comes to forgiveness, tho with age I have got a little better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought I was forgiving, and laid back when people make mistakes. After all we're only human.

But after a conversation with a friend, it seems I hold grudges of someone wrongs me. (Something I need to change I think. )

Can you quickly brush things Away and move on? Do you make sure they suffer for what mistakes someone makes? Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

How forgiving are you personally?

If they made a mistake yes, if they set out to deliberatly try to deceive.. No, they are cut out!

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

If someone has hurt, upset or betrayed me then I'll only forgive if I can see there were completely genuine extenuating circumstances behind it. Unfortunately most such incidents like that are usually prompted by selfishness, spite, laziness, manipulation and/or greed so I don't forgive and I always remember ... like a previous poster has already said, I can remember stuff from decades ago, from childhood, often word for word and whilst I have absolutely no intention of seeking those people out if our paths ever were to cross again they'd get very short shrift indeed.

In spite of what I've written above, I did actually spend many years 'forgiving' various unacceptable behaviour towards me from people in my life. And with hindsight I don't feel it was deserved in the majority of cases, nor did it make me feel at all noble .... in fact, looking back, 'forgiving' just made me into a great big doormat and encouraged bad attitudes and behaviour even more

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Oh, I'm also a Scorpio. If you believe that stuff, an unwillingness to forgive is a stereotypical trait of ours ...

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I forgive but I don't forget, somethings are unforgivable though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. Extremely stubborn. I once ignored my step dad for a whole year because i didn't appreciate the way he spoke to my mum during an argument. We lived under the same roof at that time too.

The only people i wouldn't hold a grudge with are my children.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"I always thought I was forgiving, and laid back when people make mistakes. After all we're only human.

But after a conversation with a friend, it seems I hold grudges of someone wrongs me. (Something I need to change I think. )

Can you quickly brush things Away and move on? Do you make sure they suffer for what mistakes someone makes? Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

How forgiving are you personally?

Depends on the incident, I can hold a grudge for a lifetime.

Other I usually forget once karma has visited them, as it does a better job than I ever could.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. But I forgive for myself. Not for them. I don't like ill feelings. It doesn't mean I want anything more to do with that person (depending on the extent I felt wronged), it means that I can move on and not carry that burden inside.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Depends on the grievance. Recently been through a lot and not sure if I can ever forgive - will definitely never forget. If its something minor though I can easily forgive... Just makes me that little more cautious of the person involved. I view it as my own character flaw that I allow people to hurt me. That's changing though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, I've got grudges on people I'll probably never ever meet again but still do occasionally mentally sharpen the "knife" just in case.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I naturally forget and treat people well unless they are dangerous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I delight in those twisted souls who don't.

I won.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes I do but there are some things I don't forget and that's another matter entirely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No im a bugger for this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope I can't find it in me to forgive people for doing me or my family wrong,if it's a genuine mistake I will allow it to slip but I still hold the grudge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No im a bugger for this

Great pictures lass,I would of privet messages you but can't ha ha fabbing every one of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/08/17 00:30:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought I was forgiving, and laid back when people make mistakes. After all we're only human.

But after a conversation with a friend, it seems I hold grudges of someone wrongs me. (Something I need to change I think. )

Can you quickly brush things Away and move on? Do you make sure they suffer for what mistakes someone makes? Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

How forgiving are you personally?

It depends

There's only so much I'll take. Dumped a friend of 25 years. I'll never speak to her again

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I don't hold grudges ... life's too short for that.

Forgiveness is a difficult one really. I suppose it would depend on the circumstances. I do forgive, I have forgiven but I also realise there are some things that I just wouldn't be able to forgive.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Up to a point yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To err is human. To forgive is divine."

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""To err is human. To forgive is divine."

Fuzz"

This...

I always try to give people a second chance, but when I feel like I am being taken the piss out of, I cut em dead.

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"I always thought I was forgiving, and laid back when people make mistakes. After all we're only human.

But after a conversation with a friend, it seems I hold grudges of someone wrongs me. (Something I need to change I think. )

Can you quickly brush things Away and move on? Do you make sure they suffer for what mistakes someone makes? Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

How forgiving are you personally?

This is SO ME (mrs) at the moment. Always drew a line and moved on, but there's a friend who has peed me off and I'm struggling this time! Xx

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

It depends what it is and who it is. Honesty and trust is a big thing for me. Take them away and i would just walk away. I dont think its holding grudges its just the why i cope

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

Forgive yes but NEVER forget as you won't make a fool out of me twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, and I go on and on and on about it and will never let that person forget. Would bring it up in every argument as well.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Does depend on the circumstances but generally I'm not that forgiving as I'm terribly forgetful. However, being too soft for my own good, my nature is to give a second and a third chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I trust too easily and I forgive too easily but I only give one second chance. "

This is me... Too trusting, tries to see both sides. I've learnt the hard way

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

"Does depend on the circumstances but generally I'm not that forgiving as I'm terribly forgetful. However, being too soft for my own good, my nature is to give a second and a third chance. "

Someone pissed me off recently with a couple of comments she made towards me, But I had been drinking at the time and can't remember what she actually said

I know I will get over it and I have probably over reacted but when I see/think of her name I tense up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, probably. Life's too short.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

It depends who and what.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't recal a time where a mistake from someone else had such an impact of my life that I couldn't forgive.

From experience though I have learnt to be more brutal friendship wise & move on from those who can't forgive and / or forget. I tend to find those kind of people negative & at times draining.

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry

All depends who hurts me x Storm x

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

How many leopards have you seen with stripes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive

I forget fuck all

I never line myself up twice for the same fall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to hold onto a grudge like a security blanket but as I've got older I cannot see the point of wasting energy on bad feeling, it seems like most weeks (recently especially) there's someone or something that tests me, I'm a pro forgive nowadays! Saying that it doesn't stop hurting inside for a while...

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So generally we can forgive, but it's difficult to forget.

That's not truly forgiving someone is it? I mean, if I truly forgave you, you'd be given a clean slate.

If someone was completely sincere, (someone mentioned that above) I think my age is telling myself to forgive them and forget about it completely. Let's enjoy life and the future it holds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I don't forgive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So generally we can forgive, but it's difficult to forget.

That's not truly forgiving someone is it? I mean, if I truly forgave you, you'd be given a clean slate.

If someone was completely sincere, (someone mentioned that above) I think my age is telling myself to forgive them and forget about it completely. Let's enjoy life and the future it holds.

. "

I do think age can be a factor in the Live & Let Live vibe ~ I'm way more tolerant of others behaviour now than I was 10/15 years ago.

What may have pissed me off then is brushed away now.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

I try to forgive, I think it's the best way to be free of the hurt usually. But that doesn't mean I won't make changes in my life or my attitude if warranted.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

I'm a forgiver life's rather short to hold grudges and lose friends.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

If someone is an asshole they're an asshole. Let them pass by and embrace the nice people. Why forgive an asshole and have them remain in your life when there's so many nice people to meet in life

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm not on here to give people I don't want any contact with, any contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can hold grudges but also can be very forgiving.

~Mia

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Depends on what they did that requires forgiveness.

Take our one set of neighbours, we will never talk to or forgive them and would consider adding fuel if their house was ablaze.

So don't think they will be getting forgiven any time soon,

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Forgive, but may change how I view them in future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all have some forgiveness in us otherwise we'd turn into bitter old buggers....but I think on certain things I cannot forgive. But pettiness is not one of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. But I suppose it's experience that makes us the way we are.

Everyone should be forgiven once. But if they're repeat offenders it's likely that they'll never change.

I've softened over time and try to be less strict. But sone things are unforgivable. I generally never go backwards with people but have decided to Give someone a chance. Who was let's say....... persistent.

If this helps. A good friend told me I was unforgiving with new people. It made me think. I also think modern times and everything that's available makes me more cynical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ill generally forgive but never forget. I live my the motto fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. It's done me well so far

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I'll either forgive or move on. Holding a grudge just hurts us not them

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

I may forgive...but I never forget..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep reading here that people will forgive but never forget.

It may be hard to forget sometimes I know for me it is...with some things...

But isn't the point of forgiving to also forget as much as one ever can and to start again with a clean slate....

In the hope that whatever caused the need to forgive does not damage whatever the future may hold between the parties involved....

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

Am very forgiving and dont hold any grudges as long as the deed was done before I was the age of 3.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I do. It does sometimes mean I get walked over. I just cant be bothered with any drama so I shrug a lot of things off and just forget/forgive it

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I am usually to laid back to even got angry. but if I do it is becausethe other person really crossed a line. and then- no. I don't forgive. hello stepmother, that thing you have done 15 years ago...

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Depends on how badly I was wronged, but at the same time I can appreciate later down the line that it is generally something I can learn from

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I'm very forgiving until a line is crossed and I feel that someone has wronged me.

I don't bear grudges or resent- I just cut that person dead and move on.

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

I do not forgive easily not sure it is a good thing but once I lose trust in someone that is it

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By *enetrate and CelebrateWoman
over a year ago

Horndean

I am very laid back and would always forgive once acknowledged but I would never forget.

Once bitten, twice as shy ..

We all make mistakes but it's how we approach and learn from them after

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Oh, I'm also a Scorpio. If you believe that stuff, an unwillingness to forgive is a stereotypical trait of ours ..."

Indeed i is hence why im a bit of a cunt when it comes to forgiveness, especially as i don't take too easily when treated like a doormat very well x

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Once yes, twice no lol

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Depends what's happened. I've been in an abusive relationship where the person twists things up and makes everything out to be my fault. The first sign of this and there is limited forgiveness from me. I will not forget it either. I've learned to remember these indications that something isn't right, that way I can build a better picture. My heckles are up and I'm on guard. Had the t-shirt and bruises and am never going back to that again.

As far as other stuff goes, if it's explainable and the person wasn't doing something intentionally to hurt me then yeah, I'll forgive. Nobody is perfect and we all do stuff at times that may not have been our finest moment.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"Depends what's happened. I've been in an abusive relationship where the person twists things up and makes everything out to be my fault. The first sign of this and there is limited forgiveness from me. I will not forget it either. I've learned to remember these indications that something isn't right, that way I can build a better picture. My heckles are up and I'm on guard. Had the t-shirt and bruises and am never going back to that again.

Going through this right now. Not in relation to a romantic relationship, but my best friend has suddenly turned on me. In the past couple of weeks he has started seeing someone who is insecure and doesn't like me, and rather than just let things lie and wait for her to see there's nothing to worry about, he's chosen to join her in her bitchiness and be nasty to me. Its been both shocking and utterly devastating, as he's using everything he knows about me, all the things that I've ever trusted him with, against me. I don't think I could ever forgive him for this (not that he wants me to), as its affected me deeply and is having a profound impact on my friendships with other people. I find myself not only questioning my own worth, but also their motives and have been shutting them out. I'm trying to stay open... But am struggling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody should have to forgive for violance. Most of us like playing rough in sex and enjoy the odd spanking but if its in temper then no never forgive.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Nobody should have to forgive for violance. Most of us like playing rough in sex and enjoy the odd spanking but if its in temper then no never forgive. "

Oh there was no sex involved. I couldn't let him near me. In brutal honesty I'd much rather he hit me physically than mentally. The physical stuff wasn't that often, but it didn't stop me cowering in the corner like a beaten puppy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody should have to forgive for violance. Most of us like playing rough in sex and enjoy the odd spanking but if its in temper then no never forgive.

Dont you ever put up with that again girl. Ive never met you but nobody deserves to be treated like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will forgive someone once,or at a push twice..thats it.Keep forgiving someone and they just take advantage of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never forgive the serious stuff, don't hold grudges just forget the person exists. But I never really notice the minor stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends on the act. I will never forgive my ex wife for the way she treated me. I will also never forgive my father for the wrongs he has done in his life. But others, my mother for example I have forgiven, simply for the way she reacted to the wrongs she committed.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

God no.

I hold grudges big time. I won't normally act on them, ie go around bad mouthing a person, shitting on their doorstep kinda thing, but once you are on my shit list you never come off.

If they apologise for their mistake very soon afterwards I may give them a second chance if it wasn't a big thing, but I never forget, will always remember it and will add it to any further feck ups. Think of it as a 3 strikes and you're out kinda rule.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me too. I've moved on and I accept it will always be there, in the back of my mind. Sometimes the daftest thing will set it off and I'm right back there. But ... it's not fair to take it out on other people. Alister Edward Tait was the perpetrator. Not other guys.

Him I won't forgive or forget because he is worth neither.

Other people are not him and I will always give a second chance. I'm lucky now. I always had great friends and my kids were brilliant. Now I have a lovely, kind, tender, honest and sexy fun buddy. I'm still alive and I have a whole new life ahead of me. For the first time since the violence, court cases, house sale, misery I am happy and content. My FB is married. His wife knows. I don't want to steal him, never expect him to leave his family and only want for him to be happy. I'm grounded enough now, to care enough to let him be happy. Abuse is a terrible thing. It isn't love. And it isn't care. I value myself more than that.

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