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Sharing your Herpes...

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

A young man has been given a fourteen month jail sentence for having sex with his girlfriend who has now contracted herpes.

Story goes that he didn't disclose to her that he had herpes.

He says he was given the all clear and never realised he could pass it on.

Medics say herpes is for life and you are never clear of it.

What's your take on his sentence ? How culpable is he ?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Should have been sentenced to having "I have herpes" on his upper thigh.

Creative sentencing, that's what we need....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should have been sentenced to having "I have herpes" on his upper thigh.

Creative sentencing, that's what we need...."

Like your thinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should have been sentenced to having "I have herpes" on his upper thigh.

Creative sentencing, that's what we need...."

Shades of The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I suffer with cold sores on my lip occaisionally . I never kiss or share a towel etc at those times .. Does that mean I should be tattooed too . I dont have genital herpies tho. Should I never kiss or give a BJ at any other time just because twice a year I have this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the gift that keeps on giving

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall


"I suffer with cold sores on my lip occaisionally . I never kiss or share a towel etc at those times .. Does that mean I should be tattooed too . I dont have genital herpies tho. Should I never kiss or give a BJ at any other time just because twice a year I have this."

Seems fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think manslaughter should be given if someone who knowingly has AIDS passes it on and that person dies from it.

Slightly off topic (sorry Granny) however yes i think he should have been punished.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I think manslaughter should be given if someone who knowingly has AIDS passes it on and that person dies from it.

"

someone has been charged and convicted of this before... took me a while to find it but here is the link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3191312.stm

Dica got 4 years after a retrial and Kelly got 5 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends on proving the level of understanding of the mode of transmission of an infection and the intent.

If someone really has little understanding and its down to lack of knowledge then I'm not sure a conviction is the best course of action. However if intent to deliberately cause suffering to someone is proven then this should be punishable.

I remember various training courses I've been on and even now I cannot hold onto a bannister rail on a communal stairway because of the risks of needles being inserted into them with the end uncovered which is a clear intent to cause a needlestick injury.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffer with cold sores on my lip occaisionally . I never kiss or share a towel etc at those times .. Does that mean I should be tattooed too . I dont have genital herpies tho. Should I never kiss or give a BJ at any other time just because twice a year I have this."

You have herpes simplex. While you should not kiss or have oral sex whilst it's active you are OK at other times. About one in six of us have this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There needs to be more publicity done on the Herpes virus as it seems unnacceptable for someone to have the genital virus but perfectly acceptable to have the oral version.

My first wife got coldsores all the times and I never went near her when she one on the boil, figuratively speaking. I'd imagine it's a little harder to gauge when someone is having an outbreak of the genital version though so it's very much down to trust but if you have unprotected sex with someone you've just met then it's your own goddam fault for putting yourself at risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its the gift that keeps on giving "
Lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe if ya say you got chickenpox of the lips or ya jack and danny etc...it wont sound as bad as herpes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should have been sentenced to having "I have herpes" on his upper thigh.

Creative sentencing, that's what we need....

Shades of The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo!"

Love that book...have you seen the film too?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I suffer with cold sores on my lip occaisionally . I never kiss or share a towel etc at those times .. Does that mean I should be tattooed too . I dont have genital herpies tho. Should I never kiss or give a BJ at any other time just because twice a year I have this."

Good point. There was some argument put forward that perhaps children with chickenpox should be punished.... not quite the same thing tho is it?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I think manslaughter should be given if someone who knowingly has AIDS passes it on and that person dies from it.

Slightly off topic (sorry Granny) however yes i think he should have been punished. "

Nothing is off topic C n N .... forums are for where contributors take them. xx

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

A leading charity have said that his sentence is too harsh as it cannot be proven that she contracted the herpes from him ......

In light of that he may be taking the blame for something he didn't actually do.

Begs the question .........Is it only wrong if other person contracts or is it wrong anyway ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffer with cold sores on my lip occaisionally . I never kiss or share a towel etc at those times .. Does that mean I should be tattooed too . I dont have genital herpies tho. Should I never kiss or give a BJ at any other time just because twice a year I have this.

Good point. There was some argument put forward that perhaps children with chickenpox should be punished.... not quite the same thing tho is it?"

What if you suspect your child has a contagious disease and you send them to school anyway?

as for the OP 14 months seems a bit excessive

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I suffer with cold sores on my lip occaisionally . I never kiss or share a towel etc at those times .. Does that mean I should be tattooed too . I dont have genital herpies tho. Should I never kiss or give a BJ at any other time just because twice a year I have this.

Good point. There was some argument put forward that perhaps children with chickenpox should be punished.... not quite the same thing tho is it?

What if you suspect your child has a contagious disease and you send them to school anyway?

as for the OP 14 months seems a bit excessive"

I don't think so if he's guilty cos he's condemned her to a lifetime of outbreaks and having to tell other sex partners that she has herpes before having sex .....that's quite damaging for any potential relationship.

It's proving that he did it that is the problem ...... She could have contracted it elsewhere and it could have been lying dormant.

He admitted to her that he'd had herpes when she got an outbreak and she went to the police. Did he give it to her tho ? That's the Q .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An interesting subject as apparently a couple of people on here on the east side of the country have it and don't always disclose the fact.

Not telling when you are aware to me is like an assault and should be dealt with accordingly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

He admitted to her that he'd had herpes when she got an outbreak and she went to the police. Did he give it to her tho ? That's the Q ....."

2+2=4

Mathematically, yes she could have already had the virus, but herpes is a virus that once you contract it, it tends to want to propogate itself to continue it's existence. That's what viruses do.


" from the HC Network Support Forum:

The herpes virus can lay dormant for various time periods and may be in your system for a time period before any symptoms begin to show. The usual incubation period of the virus (time before any symptoms show) is approximately two to twelve days after the first exposure to the virus.

There are cases where symptoms have not begun to show until months after the infection but it is less common.

One possibility is that a person may experience symptoms previously that are very mild and unnoticeable (e.g., a slight rash, itching, redness, muscle aches) and not associate them with the herpes virus. "

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I know that Wishy.

I mean SHE could have contracted it BEFORE she met him......

Just because she has it doesn't mean it can be proven to be from him .....despite what she says.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

And if it can't be proven ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know that Wishy.

I mean SHE could have contracted it BEFORE she met him......

Just because she has it doesn't mean it can be proven to be from him .....despite what she says. "

Yes, it's possible and I was sort of agreeing with you lol.

If she did have it before she met him she more than likely caught it quite recently before meeting him, ie 2-12 days before. If that was the case then the guy has been incredibly unlucky to have had sex with a herpes carrier who hadn't had an outbreak yet. Although if he knew he had it he should have used protection and/or told her beforehand.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Ok a question.. true story... two young gay men one very particular and sensible and disease free. the other we assume is the same as we can only go by what we are told. They fall in love over time and the discussion of HIV has been discussed one young man tests regularly the other says yes he does both believe and trust each other .. they marry are very happy and 8 mths later they go off on a holiday .. whilst one is out somewhere the other feeling not to great with a bad head goes to the sponge bags in bathroom to look for paracetamol and finds medication used when you are HIV + .. what a shock he had...He challenged his partner on returning and the other broke down and said he had been lying all along he had been + for 5 years.. but had not come to terms with it so just pretended it wasnt happening.

they came home feeling totally numb the other young man went to get tested and had a wait to discover if he was HIV+ too. having always been so careful in the past he now had been put at risk by the one he loved. Fortunately he was found to be free from the virus..

what would you do ? how would you feel having been so betrayed by your partner having been together 2 years based on lies.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Ok a question.. true story... two young gay men one very particular and sensible and disease free. the other we assume is the same as we can only go by what we are told. They fall in love over time and the discussion of HIV has been discussed one young man tests regularly the other says yes he does both believe and trust each other .. they marry are very happy and 8 mths later they go off on a holiday .. whilst one is out somewhere the other feeling not to great with a bad head goes to the sponge bags in bathroom to look for paracetamol and finds medication used when you are HIV + .. what a shock he had...He challenged his partner on returning and the other broke down and said he had been lying all along he had been + for 5 years.. but had not come to terms with it so just pretended it wasnt happening.

they came home feeling totally numb the other young man went to get tested and had a wait to discover if he was HIV+ too. having always been so careful in the past he now had been put at risk by the one he loved. Fortunately he was found to be free from the virus..

what would you do ? how would you feel having been so betrayed by your partner having been together 2 years based on lies.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I know that Wishy.

I mean SHE could have contracted it BEFORE she met him......

Just because she has it doesn't mean it can be proven to be from him .....despite what she says.

Yes, it's possible and I was sort of agreeing with you lol.

If she did have it before she met him she more than likely caught it quite recently before meeting him, ie 2-12 days before. If that was the case then the guy has been incredibly unlucky to have had sex with a herpes carrier who hadn't had an outbreak yet. Although if he knew he had it he should have used protection and/or told her beforehand."

Agreed. He should have told her.

So ... if it can't be proven ( though going by what you say it's highly likely it was him ) HOW can he be prosecuted ?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"I know that Wishy.

I mean SHE could have contracted it BEFORE she met him......

Just because she has it doesn't mean it can be proven to be from him .....despite what she says.

Yes, it's possible and I was sort of agreeing with you lol.

If she did have it before she met him she more than likely caught it quite recently before meeting him, ie 2-12 days before. If that was the case then the guy has been incredibly unlucky to have had sex with a herpes carrier who hadn't had an outbreak yet. Although if he knew he had it he should have used protection and/or told her beforehand.

Agreed. He should have told her.

So ... if it can't be proven ( though going by what you say it's highly likely it was him ) HOW can he be prosecuted ?"

Maybe the justice system isn't as good or honest or fair as we are led to believe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok a question.. true story... two young gay men one very particular and sensible and disease free. the other we assume is the same as we can only go by what we are told. They fall in love over time and the discussion of HIV has been discussed one young man tests regularly the other says yes he does both believe and trust each other .. they marry are very happy and 8 mths later they go off on a holiday .. whilst one is out somewhere the other feeling not to great with a bad head goes to the sponge bags in bathroom to look for paracetamol and finds medication used when you are HIV + .. what a shock he had...He challenged his partner on returning and the other broke down and said he had been lying all along he had been + for 5 years.. but had not come to terms with it so just pretended it wasnt happening.

they came home feeling totally numb the other young man went to get tested and had a wait to discover if he was HIV+ too. having always been so careful in the past he now had been put at risk by the one he loved. Fortunately he was found to be free from the virus..

what would you do ? how would you feel having been so betrayed by your partner having been together 2 years based on lies. "

He must have been walking around with his eyes shut to have not noticed his partner's medicines and consultations over two years.

Or does it simply back up his case to claim he suspected nothing?

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"Ok a question.. true story... two young gay men one very particular and sensible and disease free. the other we assume is the same as we can only go by what we are told. They fall in love over time and the discussion of HIV has been discussed one young man tests regularly the other says yes he does both believe and trust each other .. they marry are very happy and 8 mths later they go off on a holiday .. whilst one is out somewhere the other feeling not to great with a bad head goes to the sponge bags in bathroom to look for paracetamol and finds medication used when you are HIV + .. what a shock he had...He challenged his partner on returning and the other broke down and said he had been lying all along he had been + for 5 years.. but had not come to terms with it so just pretended it wasnt happening.

they came home feeling totally numb the other young man went to get tested and had a wait to discover if he was HIV+ too. having always been so careful in the past he now had been put at risk by the one he loved. Fortunately he was found to be free from the virus..

what would you do ? how would you feel having been so betrayed by your partner having been together 2 years based on lies.

He must have been walking around with his eyes shut to have not noticed his partner's medicines and consultations over two years.

Or does it simply back up his case to claim he suspected nothing?"

Actually as the guy is an American he was getting his meds sent over via a friend there . He had never registered at any clinic or doctor in this country .. so no it was not not noticed by his partner .he had no reason to be suspicious as he believed his partner to be free and clean.

My hubby takes meds he tells me are for blood pressure but i dont check them out to see if its true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You cant catch herpes if ur not in an outbreak of it.So why shud he tell her,He may only have had 1 outbreak ever.And that cud have been 10 yrs ago.Thats like saying u can never kiss anyone who has the oral herpes virus even when they dont have a cold sore and that they shud tell u before they kiss u that they have the oral heepes virus....cmon now.ur not contagious unless u have an outbreak.And u wudnt want sex at all if u were coivered in painful blisters.Think he didnt deserve jail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The difference between true love and herpes....

Herpes is forever....!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey....genital herpes and now oral heepes. its a mine field this sex lark

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By *averiMan
over a year ago

Swindon to bristol


"A young man has been given a fourteen month jail sentence for having sex with his girlfriend who has now contracted herpes.

Story goes that he didn't disclose to her that he had herpes.

He says he was given the all clear and never realised he could pass it on.

Medics say herpes is for life and you are never clear of it.

What's your take on his sentence ? How culpable is he ?"

someone gave it to him I assume???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Herpes A is cold sores

Herpes B is the genital version

I have both viruses.

My single B (genital ) outbreak was 20 years ago.

The outbreak was a reddish spot on my Little Willie, about 3mm across. It looked like the skin under a blister. It was dry, and completely sensation-free.

It had gone by the time I got to the top of thedoctor’s waiting list.

The doctor said that I very probably caught it from a woman who had no idea that she had it, probably my wife. Women can’t see their bits very easily, and they most certainly can’t feel the blister in any way.

Both versions of the virus are normally dormant all the time, and can’t be transmitted to others. They become active during periods of stress, depression, and other things that upset peoples’ immune systems.

The sole damage done by Herpes B is the very small painless transient blister.

Legal punishment for transmitting Herpes B is insane.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ignorance isnt a excuse not to be charged for this however i believe the sentance is rather harsh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ignorance isn't a excuse not to be charged for this however i believe the sentence is rather harsh "

They are setting a precedent for other communicable diseases. Harsh it may be to some but if it was HIV would it still be a harsh punishment?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this thread is just like herpes

nothing for 45 weeks and then it just pops up again !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A young man has been given a fourteen month jail sentence for having sex with his girlfriend who has now contracted herpes.

Story goes that he didn't disclose to her that he had herpes.

He says he was given the all clear and never realised he could pass it on.

Medics say herpes is for life and you are never clear of it.

What's your take on his sentence ? How culpable is he ?"

not knowing the case its hard to say..

its all down to whether the court believed him when he said he was given all clear. obviously they didnt and if he didnt he deserves to be punished.

if he just didnt know then that is no defence in court legally.

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By *onda menMan
over a year ago

headingley

for real? with all the std's going around the moman should be sentenced for not protecting herself if she'd been asked to blow him with the promise I won't cum in your mouth she wouldn't have belived him so more fool her for having unprotected sex I was taught a long long time ago that you do not use protection for others but for yourself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does that mean he will have to disclose this whenever applying for any job or application and have to fill in the section where they ask for any criminal conviction?????

I wonder the wording if he has to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know that Wishy.

I mean SHE could have contracted it BEFORE she met him......

Just because she has it doesn't mean it can be proven to be from him .....despite what she says. "

maybe she hadnt had any other sexual partners. fact is we dont know the full story because we wern't there in court.

it was obviously proven under the interpretation of the law, as for the sentence it seems a little harsh but it is a form of assault after all..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok a question.. true story... two young gay men one very particular and sensible and disease free. the other we assume is the same as we can only go by what we are told. They fall in love over time and the discussion of HIV has been discussed one young man tests regularly the other says yes he does both believe and trust each other .. they marry are very happy and 8 mths later they go off on a holiday .. whilst one is out somewhere the other feeling not to great with a bad head goes to the sponge bags in bathroom to look for paracetamol and finds medication used when you are HIV + .. what a shock he had...He challenged his partner on returning and the other broke down and said he had been lying all along he had been + for 5 years.. but had not come to terms with it so just pretended it wasnt happening.

they came home feeling totally numb the other young man went to get tested and had a wait to discover if he was HIV+ too. having always been so careful in the past he now had been put at risk by the one he loved. Fortunately he was found to be free from the virus..

what would you do ? how would you feel having been so betrayed by your partner having been together 2 years based on lies. "

as for their relationship that would be for them to decide. i personally wouldnt trust them again and would have to move on and think i had a lucky escape.

my understanding is that knowingly having unprotected sex with an unwitting partner, whilst carrying HIV, is a criminal offence in some US states and in the UK you can be prosecuted under existing assault laws.

you can be charged with anything from assault to manslaugher and even murder if intent can be proved.

i wouldnt dob them in myself but i would definitely move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a criticism, just sharing the information...

Since every virus adapts to the immune system of a new host you can trace the avenues of transmission through a population based on mutation & addition in the virus' genetic code. It is by such a process that it is very well understood now how the HIV virus began in Africa, WHERE it began and which urban centres it coalesced in before being propagated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To liven things up a bit, why don't we all stop using protection and meet in a club and then we could all have a big game of sexual top trumps? The ine carrying the full set at the end is the winner? It's got to be better than watching cricket anyway!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads of people have medical problems. Any body with any common decency should look it up to see if it can be passed on. I know I did. Luckily I can't pass my problem on. If I could pass it on I would tell a potential sexual partner. What he has done is really unfair on her.

However, fourteen months in jail! That's a bit harsh. He should be punished and I like the idea of a tattoo to warn others but when you consider that the sentencing of some criminals in this country is ridiculous. People get six months for rape or five years for murder. Those type of people should get far longer. Herpes, whilst not nice does not kill and does not deserve such a long sentence. Hopefully he will think about it before the next time he sleeps with anybody else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I laugh at people who think safe sex is a win:win agaisnt Herpes.

It is not and just reduces the chance by a small chance.

if you're scared of having sex because of the likes of Herpes being on the increase then get a partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Herpes A is cold sores

Herpes B is the genital version

I have both viruses.

My single B (genital ) outbreak was 20 years ago.

The outbreak was a reddish spot on my Little Willie, about 3mm across. It looked like the skin under a blister. It was dry, and completely sensation-free.

It had gone by the time I got to the top of thedoctor’s waiting list.

The doctor said that I very probably caught it from a woman who had no idea that she had it, probably my wife. Women can’t see their bits very easily, and they most certainly can’t feel the blister in any way.

Both versions of the virus are normally dormant all the time, and can’t be transmitted to others. They become active during periods of stress, depression, and other things that upset peoples’ immune systems.

The sole damage done by Herpes B is the very small painless transient blister.

Legal punishment for transmitting Herpes B is insane.

"

Agreed, and where do you stop? If he's banged up for passing on herpes to her, then why isn't the person banged up who gave it to him etc etc

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