FabSwingers.com forum: Would you tell her the truth?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A Lady friend asked me about a man we have both meet .... She see him alot because he cant get others to meet. I know this as always asking me to meet and mailing others he tell me about he is meeting. She is mad about him in love ..... and he told me he is not after a girl friend just sex thats why on sites like this.. He like slim curvey woman not big she is and lovely. Would you say the truth and tell her ?? He is a player. She tells me he dont wish to be seen out with her ... thats so nasty and she is so lovely.She is saying will not meet others now as have strong feeling for him ., Can ask you as not from this site x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No Jo. Don't say a word.

You don't know how their relionship will turn out. Don't cloud already muddy waters.

Maybe you might like to chat about her understanding of NSA and relationships formed from sites such as these but DON'T relate it to their meets etc.

She is living in hope by the sounds of it and will be hurt soon enough but it's not for others to believe they should get involved.

He's not her husband he's not promised her anything.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I dont wish to hurt her . But is it better to know the truth .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell her, though I think she may already have sussed that. Failing that, I would tell the guy to let her down gently if he doesnt feel the same . . . . . though he may be supressing his own feelings for her cos he keeps going back for more!

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By *ingmasterMan
over a year ago

nottingham

"A Lady friend asked me about a man we have both meet .... She see him alot because he cant get others to meet. I know this as always asking me to meet and mailing others he tell me about he is meeting. She is mad about him in love ..... and he told me he is not after a girl friend just sex thats why on sites like this.. He like slim curvey woman not big she is and lovely. Would you say the truth and tell her ?? He is a player. She tells me he dont wish to be seen out with her ... thats so nasty and she is so lovely.She is saying will not meet others now as have strong feeling for him ., Can ask you as not from this site x"

if she's on a swingers site , why would you need to tell her anything . if she doesnt know the rules of the game , she shouldnt be playing it . besides , surely your male friend has a right to his privacy too . why should she know his busines just because she cant handle her business .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No Jo. Don't say a word.

You don't know how their relionship will turn out. Don't cloud already muddy waters.

Maybe you might like to chat about her understanding of NSA and relationships formed from sites such as these but DON'T relate it to their meets etc.

She is living in hope by the sounds of it and will be hurt soon enough but it's not for others to believe they should get involved.

He's not her husband he's not promised her anything. "
i did say last night that men on sites like this just after NSA sex she say she live in hope he will change ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont wish to hurt her . But is it better to know the truth ."

Do not burst no bubbles!!! She wouldn't thank you to be honest. Let her enjoy the hope it's what keeps gamblers going

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Jo .... don't tell.

You don't KNOW the truth ....

Leave them to it. She's got a crush be there when she crumbles.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"No Jo. Don't say a word.

You don't know how their relionship will turn out. Don't cloud already muddy waters.

Maybe you might like to chat about her understanding of NSA and relationships formed from sites such as these but DON'T relate it to their meets etc.

She is living in hope by the sounds of it and will be hurt soon enough but it's not for others to believe they should get involved.

He's not her husband he's not promised her anything. "

So refreshing to see you back dispensing your wisdom Mrs Crumpet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont wish to hurt her . But is it better to know the truth .

Do not burst no bubbles!!! She wouldn't thank you to be honest. Let her enjoy the hope it's what keeps gamblers going

"
She is a lovely lovely lady and my heart go s out to her as i know she get so upset .. when he dont mail her dont meet her when he say he will and let her down ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel for your friend but by getting involved it could come back and bite you in the arse It has happened to me in the past. Like other people have said they are both on a swinging site not a dating site and best nto to burst the bubble for your poor friend

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

"No Jo. Don't say a word.

You don't know how their relionship will turn out. Don't cloud already muddy waters.

Maybe you might like to chat about her understanding of NSA and relationships formed from sites such as these but DON'T relate it to their meets etc.

She is living in hope by the sounds of it and will be hurt soon enough but it's not for others to believe they should get involved.

He's not her husband he's not promised her anything. i did say last night that men on sites like this just after NSA sex she say she live in hope he will change ...."

It can be very hard when you know something that you think someone else deserves to know, but I agree with the above, you're better off not saying anything too direct about how he feels about her.

If they want different things then sooner or later it'll come out anyway and they can deal with it then - there's nothing for her to gain from being told by you. I think your approach of a general discussion about men's expectations from the lifestye etc., is a better bet.. hopefully get her thinking more clearly without making her feel daft for not spotting what you have seen.. (not that you would be deliberately doing that, but she may well feel that way if you told her the whole story..)

You're being a good friend by worrying about her - just be there to help her get 'back on the bike' when it (inevitably) does go tits-up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" NSA sex she say she live in hope he will change ...."

The major reason most marriages break. Ladies getting involved with a man they do not like his habits in hope he'd change when he doesn't hell is broken loose!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"No Jo. Don't say a word.

You don't know how their relionship will turn out. Don't cloud already muddy waters.

Maybe you might like to chat about her understanding of NSA and relationships formed from sites such as these but DON'T relate it to their meets etc.

She is living in hope by the sounds of it and will be hurt soon enough but it's not for others to believe they should get involved.

He's not her husband he's not promised her anything.

So refreshing to see you back dispensing your wisdom Mrs Crumpet.

Why thank you Mr. Tupper. Sex and Wisdom ......... wonderful combinations x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

" NSA sex she say she live in hope he will change ....

The major reason most marriages break. Ladies getting involved with a man they do not like his habits in hope he'd change when he doesn't hell is broken loose!"

Bollocks....... that is NOT the main reason why marriages fail.

Distance doesn't help much..ha !x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best thing you can do Jo, is to be there for her when and if she needs you.

It always difficult when you see a friend in a situation that you think, can be avoided, or that they shouldn't be in.

An arm around the shoulder or a shoulder to cry on, is all you should offer, but then, isn't that what real friends are for?

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

marriage breaks down mostly because of various reasons and its not always the womans fault it does, there are lots of married men on this site who are playing the single man and the wife has no idea and prob the other way as well, to the OP i would stay well out of it dont get involved

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I love you Jack xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" NSA sex she say she live in hope he will change ....

The major reason most marriages break. Ladies getting involved with a man they do not like his habits in hope he'd change when he doesn't hell is broken loose!

Bollocks....... that is NOT the main reason why marriages fail.

Distance doesn't help much..ha !x "

Distance could be shortened anyway hahaha

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"marriage breaks down mostly because of various reasons and its not always the womans fault it does, there are lots of married men on this site who are playing the single man and the wife has no idea and prob the other way as well, to the OP i would stay well out of it dont get involved"

I am missing something? Who is married?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love you Jack xxx "

I love me too Gran

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP.

What you know is what two friends (or a friend and a fuck buddy) told you in confidence. You didn't get it out of your investigation or phone hacking so do not publish it!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Jo .... I think everyone should have a friend like you.

You are my absolute FAVOURITE Jo on the forums - undoubtedly gorgeous inside and outside. x

My last visit to this thread says.....

IF YOU tell her what you think and they end she will feel bad toward YOU.

If you are there when they break up HE gets the blame and you cuddle her better and remain friends.

Don't risk it Jo xxx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I am missing something? Who is married?"

Yes Rugby. You MUST read more carefully and contribute properly .... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The best thing you can do Jo, is to be there for her when and if she needs you.

It always difficult when you see a friend in a situation that you think, can be avoided, or that they shouldn't be in.

An arm around the shoulder or a shoulder to cry on, is all you should offer, but then, isn't that what real friends are for?

Best advice you could have given

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am missing something? Who is married?

Yes Rugby. You MUST read more carefully and contribute properly .... x "

I keep reading it, but I am still missing it, is the man married?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

In Star Trek they have a rule called 'The Prime Directive'.

It is there so Captain Kirk doesn't fuck blue chicks but it's also there so he doesn't meddle with other people's development.

I would use the Prime Directive here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To the OP.

What you know is what two friends (or a friend and a fuck buddy) told you in confidence. You didn't get it out of your investigation or phone hacking so do not publish it!

"
i feel like piggey in middle ... she knows i chat and know him so ask me things i am truthfull .... and this time its hard . i have known her a long time and i know about her life and stuff ... she is really fab .... a lady who is a lovely caring soul ..

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP...I would say nothing about the mans mails to you....but remind your friend as to what site she is on and not to hope too much that something will come of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am missing something? Who is married?

Yes Rugby. You MUST read more carefully and contribute properly .... x "

Probably not unless on a hunt

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I am missing something? Who is married?

Yes Rugby. You MUST read more carefully and contribute properly .... x

I keep reading it, but I am still missing it, is the man married?"

No Ruggers.... see ..... NorwichDoodybloke... used the term marriage instead of relationship and threw the whole bloody line of thought out of the window....... Tut .....some forumites....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am missing something? Who is married?

Yes Rugby. You MUST read more carefully and contribute properly .... x

I keep reading it, but I am still missing it, is the man married?"
no single .. and wish to be .. So he keeps telling me .. as having far to much fun .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am missing something? Who is married?

Yes Rugby. You MUST read more carefully and contribute properly .... x

I keep reading it, but I am still missing it, is the man married? no single .. and wish to be .. So he keeps telling me .. as having far to much fun ."

In which case, hopefully the old " burn them at the stake" posts won't turn up about married men, as we have enough problems when they have a thread of their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am missing something? Who is married?

Yes Rugby. You MUST read more carefully and contribute properly .... x

I keep reading it, but I am still missing it, is the man married?

No Ruggers.... see ..... NorwichDoodybloke... used the term marriage instead of relationship and threw the whole bloody line of thought out of the window....... Tut .....some forumites.... "

Well, he just drew an inference!!! ...some forumites... I love that NorwichDoodybloke anyway hahaha!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It sounds like you are going to say something Jo? I suppose only you know your friend and wether you think she will believe you...but I would be prepared for the fall out just in case xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IF YOU tell her what you think and they end she will feel bad toward YOU.

If you are there when they break up HE gets the blame and you cuddle her better and remain friends.

Don't risk it Jo xxx "

Granny's never spoken wiser words. This what I wanted to say

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jo .... I think everyone should have a friend like you.

You are my absolute FAVOURITE Jo on the forums - undoubtedly gorgeous inside and outside. x

My last visit to this thread says.....

IF YOU tell her what you think and they end she will feel bad toward YOU.

If you are there when they break up HE gets the blame and you cuddle her better and remain friends.

Don't risk it Jo xxx "
your a wise one Gran..... I Bit my lip and see her come apart . or i say the truth and she hates me for it maybe .. i see where your coming from ... and theres alot of truth in what you say as always x

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By *icboyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Steer clear of telling her, just be the shoulder for her to lean on, when it all goes pair shaped as it will.

It is up to the guy to let her down gently, but we know that will not happen. Feel for your friend.

This is why it is always set out goals right early in any meets.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

IF YOU tell her what you think and they end she will feel bad toward YOU.

If you are there when they break up HE gets the blame and you cuddle her better and remain friends.

Don't risk it Jo xxx

Granny's never spoken wiser words. This what I wanted to say

I dunno about that Jack. I think advising you to wear your flyhole at the front after all these years was a pretty wise move x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have to live our lives and learn from the experiences or we will keep making the same mistakes.

If you manage to save her from being hurt (which is very unlikely) then she'll probably only make the same mistake again in the future.

Let her learn the hard way and be there to support after the event.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have to live our lives and learn from the experiences or we will keep making the same mistakes.

If you manage to save her from being hurt (which is very unlikely) then she'll probably only make the same mistake again in the future.

Let her learn the hard way and be there to support after the event. "
yes she has been very hurt in passed ...and did take her years to start to meet again . maybe she should have been on dating site not here.

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By *icboyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"We have to live our lives and learn from the experiences or we will keep making the same mistakes.

If you manage to save her from being hurt (which is very unlikely) then she'll probably only make the same mistake again in the future.

Let her learn the hard way and be there to support after the event. yes she has been very hurt in passed ...and did take her years to start to meet again . maybe she should have been on dating site not here."

I think that you maybe right, a dating site may have been best, but it sounds like it may be too late. She is in too deep.

Just be there for her and she will love you for it.

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