FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anybody know a good joke?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese!"

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

What's brown and sticky ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? ....

Choked!!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Insomnia is a right bastard but on the plus side 5 more sleeps till August Bank Holiday

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's brown and sticky ?"

A stick!

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By *aranelloMan
over a year ago

Sittingbourne

Two Condoms walking past a gay bar, one says to the other, shall we go in and get shitfaced

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in vest tagator

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? ....

Choked!!"

Love it! Lol

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Just met a girl with really bad exsema, she had cracking tits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just met a girl with really bad exsema, she had cracking tits

Ouch! Lol

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"What's brown and sticky ?

A stick! "

Anal sex

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I told a girl I met on a fab social that she drew her eyebrows on too high...

...She looked surprised.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Just met a girl with really bad exsema, she had cracking tits

Hahaha. Thats terrible!

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By *ossnsecretaryCouple
over a year ago

Epsom

How's the diet going?

Awful, I had eggs for breakfast.

Scrambled?

No, Cadbury's creme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to pretend to be a flamingo but my ex told me to stop.

I had to put my foot down.

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A doctor asks a patient while examining her:

- How many sex partners did you have?

- 5 or 6, don't remember exactly..

- Hmm, not that many...

- Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unexpected sex is the best thing to wake up too, unless you're in prison

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's brown and sticky ?

A stick! "

Best joke in the world!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just met a girl with really bad exsema, she had cracking tits

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

What's pink and retarded?

A flamongo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's brown and sticky ?

A stick!

Best joke in the world!!!"

One of my favourites!

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

After landing my new job as a Asda greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. Here’s what happened:

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, chavy woman walked into the store along with her two kids, shouting and swearing at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Asda."

I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly chav woman stopped swearing long enough to say, "Don't be fucking stupid. Of course they aren't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one' s 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone fucked you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Asda."

My Supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

A fire at the local B & Q did not cause too much stock damage. Staff saved all the tins of paint, wallpaper and brushes. For their bravery, management said they will be decorated.

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By *w3866Couple
over a year ago

marion

Glen Campbell just died poor bloke lost loads of weight whilst ill he died a 9 stone cowboy

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Man goes to the doctor with a foot problem .

After examining him the doc says "well it's very strange but you appear to have VD of the foot "

"Flipping eck , is it curable doc" he asked

" yes no problem " came the reply .

" but the woman that came in with athletes cunt is fucked .............

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

How many dyslexic does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven

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By *icenick1966Man
over a year ago

clowne

After the recent Sheffield Derby, Mark Duffy has brought out a new range of bras. Guaranteed to stop tits bouncing.

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By *arth SideousMan
over a year ago

Altrincham

2 peanuts walking down an alley, the one on the left was 'assaulted'

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

What bees make milk?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"What bees make milk?"

( . )( . )

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologised 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

One of my two brooms is pregnant.

Turns out they had been sweeping together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologised 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m buying my wife a wooden leg for Christmas, it’s not her main present just a stocking filler

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

My wife found out that I was cheating after finding the letters that I was hiding..

That’s the last time I play Scrabble with you she said

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I like my women like I like my PC

Turned on,

On my lap and Virus free

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By *lexa999Woman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

What's the difference between me and eggs?

At least eggs get laid but I don't!

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"What's the difference between me and eggs?

At least eggs get laid but I don't!

That one made us chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two parrots sitting on a perch...

One days to the other, "can you smell fish?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mountains aren’t funny, they’re Hill areas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/11/17 23:12:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just been on a once in a lifetime holiday, I won't be doing that again!.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

What’s long and hard and has cum in it?

A CuCUMber.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

So if the Dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of True love?

The Swallow??

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Man; Do you want to hear a joke about my dick?

It’s too long.

Woman; Do you want to hear a joke about my pussy?

You won’t get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the lonely prisoner....he was in his cell

Two fish in a tank,what are they arguing about.....who's driving

I was once watching a Japanese football match and when the final whistle went they started doing Kung fu and martial arts . I asked the bloke next me "what's going on?" He said "it's two minutes ninjery time "

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