FabSwingers.com forum: Farts

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fanny farts or real farts!! They are all so damn hilarious!!

Except lift farts - they just smell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dutch Ovens are no joke!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dutch Ovens are no joke!

They are if your the one doing them lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lift ones are so funny if a silent & deadly one is released

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

Furious finger blasting in a bid to make me squirt always make me want to fart...so I fart...serves them right, I'm not even a squirter

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

My favourite subject

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dutch Ovens are no joke!

They are if your the one doing them lol "

Brilliant - after my own heart

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Lift ones are so funny if a silent & deadly one is released

...but not if it's just two of you in the lift. You can't deney ownership of it then...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lift ones are so funny if a silent & deadly one is released

lol that's when you seriously need to prefer your own flavour lol

Lol why is that anyway haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the fanny farts when my OH has filled me up with air that we both find hilarious!

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Our son did an SBD at the checkout in the supermarket while we were on holiday.

We both looked at each other and then looked at him, shoulders shrugging.

It was that bad that two guys who approached the till both said WHOAH, who's done that.

Hubby had to walk off as he couldn't stop laughing.

Our lad just stood there as if butter wouldn't melt

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Furious finger blasting in a bid to make me squirt always make me want to fart...so I fart...serves them right, I'm not even a squirter

Not a squirter - just a farter haha lol

Btw beautiful pussy - love the way it looks xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lift ones are so funny if a silent & deadly one is released

...but not if it's just two of you in the lift. You can't deney ownership of it then...

Yes best to release in a full lift , there is an art to it , wouldn't want a squeaker lol

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Remote control fart machines are great fun. Add to that mix elderly relatives and you have hours of hilarity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our son did an SBD at the checkout in the supermarket while we were on holiday.

We both looked at each other and then looked at him, shoulders shrugging.

It was that bad that two guys who approached the till both said WHOAH, who's done that.

Hubby had to walk off as he couldn't stop laughing.

Our lad just stood there as if butter wouldn't melt

Good lad , pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dutch Ovens are no joke!

They are if your the one doing them lol "

I had one done to me, she then jumped on top of the quilt pinning me down with no way out the oven!

A little part of me died that day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dutch Ovens are no joke!

They are if your the one doing them lol

I had one done to me, she then jumped on top of the quilt pinning me down with no way out the oven!

A little part of me died that day

That's no way to talk about your penis man!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember the girl I lost my virgnity doing the loudest fanny fart ever (not that I'd heard on before) I thought it was hilarious she on the other hand didn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fanny farts are great tho!! Yes if your a woman they can be embarrassing I guess, but on the other hand they can feel great on your cock as your fucking on all fours!!

Actually used to make me cum easily xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crying laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fanny farts are great tho!! Yes if your a woman they can be embarrassing I guess, but on the other hand they can feel great on your cock as your fucking on all fours!!

Actually used to make me cum easily xx"

First time I did a fanny fart just started laughing and couldn't stop

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I see myself as a Gentleman and often if a Lady offers a fanny fart during a pounding I will take that as a compliment and in return offer a 'High 5' to hide any embarrassment the lucky lady maybe suffering.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or just laugh

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Fanny farts are great tho!! Yes if your a woman they can be embarrassing I guess, but on the other hand they can feel great on your cock as your fucking on all fours!!

Actually used to make me cum easily xx

First time I did a fanny fart just started laughing and couldn't stop "

I know a few woman of a certain age that fart the more they laugh. It's a vicious circle for them as they have a good sence of humour and find farting funny.

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

Fanny farts just make me giggle

Actually all farts make me giggle .. I am a child

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always own up when I fart, never take the blame for someone else's, my lads shake their heads at me coz I'll walk down the street farting as I go lol better out than in

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

The fart when you drop it even you canny stand the smell of it.

Or farts the day after you've been eating curry & drinking beer.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

"Dutch Ovens are no joke!

They can be deadly...

http://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/

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By *rednwilma1Couple
over a year ago

york

Farts are funny !!!!

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

Be careful where you fart...

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-37-stabbed-boyfriend-after-1896014.amp

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

They can be dangerous...

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/news/2088291/patient-left-with-serious-burns-after-farting-during-operation-and-igniting-surgeons-laser/amp/

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By *rjimMan
over a year ago

nr bristol

I like to fart in full lifts.

Which I realise is wrong..on so many levels !

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Ever darted on the car before going into Tesco eg? It stagnates and goes stale. I have upholstered seats not leather type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahaha brilliant!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Protein farts are the worst - I'm all for exercise and a healthy diet but fookin' he'll

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Protein farts are the worst - I'm all for exercise and a healthy diet but fookin' he'll

I don't know mate. Wedding night farts. Nothing to do with the happy couple but you been on a Leo Sayer since 11am. Breakfast, coffees. Then champers, loads of pints, a feast, more pints, then a Buffet, pints and then the dancing starts.

Then the farts fill the dance floor. I feel sorry for the people who only get invited to the evening do as they turn up sober and leave feeling sick.

This is why most evening guests only stay for two hours male their excuses and leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Protein farts are the worst - I'm all for exercise and a healthy diet but fookin' he'll

The standard aroma of a gym... a high protein diet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Protein farts are the worst - I'm all for exercise and a healthy diet but fookin' he'll

Then the farts fill the dance floor. I feel sorry for the people who only get invited to the evening do as they turn up sober and leave feeling sick.

This is why most evening guests only stay for two hours male their excuses and leave."

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

Arse farts can help the climax NOT.

Ladies just try and hold it until were finished. Each to their own but off putting for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Arse farts can help the climax NOT.

Ladies just try and hold it until were finished. Each to their own but off putting for me."

Boo lol

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"I like to fart in full lifts.

Which I realise is wrong..on so many levels !"

Even worse if it's a loud ripper of fart.

FFFAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTT.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Letting out a proper ripper is both fun and satisfying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a couple of ex partners squeak one out in the throws of passion and one in particular did one in my face when I was going down on her. She claims it was an accident. I can laugh about it now but I was furious at the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had a couple of ex partners squeak one out in the throws of passion and one in particular did one in my face when I was going down on her. She claims it was an accident. I can laugh about it now but I was furious at the time "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Letting out a proper ripper is both fun and satisfying"

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Letting out a proper ripper is both fun and satisfying"

Aye like when you fart on a wooden/plastic seat, it's seems a right loud ripper of a fart.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My beloved is a bit posh and before he met me he had never farted in front of anyone. I soon got him down to my level and now hes better than me.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Fanny farts or real farts!! They are all so damn hilarious!!

Except lift farts - they just smell"

Oh, lift farts.

Even worse if you let of a right stinky one and your going to top floor.

Feels like torture

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Loving how the girls are just as bad as the men here - funny as!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My beloved is a bit posh and before he met me he had never farted in front of anyone. I soon got him down to my level and now hes better than me.

That's the way , don't keep up with the Jones's bring them down to your level it's cheaper lol

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I'm a lady

Oh that's nice but all it means is you stand up to fart in the bath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they should rename the site as...

Fartswingers.....

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Maybe they should rename the site as...

Fartswingers....."

Glad you spelt that correctly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a lady

Oh that's nice but all it means is you stand up to fart in the bath"

Haha love that - also a bit little Britain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Furious finger blasting in a bid to make me squirt always make me want to fart...so I fart...serves them right, I'm not even a squirter

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I can't breathe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a lady

Oh that's nice but all it means is you stand up to fart in the bath

Haha love that - also a bit little Britain "

Wouldn't dream of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bestie does brilliant ones, laid in the road pissing myself laughing one day when she dropped one getting out of the car

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

If you ask me I think 50% of you lot are just talking hot air & the other 50% is talking direct from your ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think in the heat of passion these things just happen I just laugh them off and do try to warn someone if they are down on me at the time..............

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By *lackalansugarMan
over a year ago

london

My ex FWB was a massive squirter, I used to give her slow hard stabs getting harder & faster till she was a hot mess. After about 5 minutes I'd lay her on her back & rub her clit, she'd literally piss the bed & 9 times out of 10 do a fart or 2 mid orgasm. Call me crazy but that shit Always turns me on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a woman on AFF - gone now but I remember because I simply had to write a blog post about her - who wrote on her profile, "I will CUM OVER and OVER AGAIN if you FART FOR ME, I LOVE when men FART!!!"

That's what I call a blow job. And what woman doesn't love the wind in her hair?

She must've thought that scene in Blazing Saddles was pure porn.

The slogan, "Beanz meanz Heinz," was thought up over a pint in a London pub and was voted the Best Advertising Slogan Ever. We had our own slogan at school: "Beans, beans, good for the heart, the more you eat, the more you fart." Now it'd be, "Beans, beans, good for some, the more you eat, the more you cum!"

Boom!

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