FabSwingers.com forum: religion.... i know quite fitting since its sunday morning !!!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right peeps a bit of a weird one i know but i was just wanting to get a few peoples views on a certain topic which has cropped up in my present situation, i know i could ask friends and family about this but i feel that they may be biased towards me on it and not give a very clear view and so not be very helpful in my decision.

right here goes...............

im a single parent of a 6 year old boy, me and his dad split up when he was only a few weeks old so amongst all the goings on we never discussed geting him christened even tho before he came along it was something we were going to do as i am christened myself and class myself as christian but his dad isnt and doesnt have a view on it as such he now classes himself as athiest (if thats how ya spell it???? )

As time has gone on its never really been brought up and i decided that it is something i would let my son decide later on in life instead when he felt it necessary to decide himself..........but just a couple of days ago in the middle of doing the shopping my 6 year old decided to start the conversation about why he wasnt christened and then asked if he could be, i was very shocked as this hasnt been discussed with him in detail and was very out of the blue, in the past at school they have done all about church christenings weddings etc and they do visit the church in our village regular for certain events and obviously they are looking at bible stories as part of the cirriculum but it took me very much by suprise.

After a little bit of a discussion about why people get christened etc and after saying to my son if it was something he wanted to do we would have to discuss it with his dad my son still wants to get christened and has very proudly asked him about it this morning when he came to collect him for his time with him.

what are peoples views on this is it too young for him to be making these decisions? or should i embrace it and go with his wishes? If he was in school now and it was something they were talking about i could understand the sudden interest in it but to come out with a subject like this out of the blue really caught me off guard and obviously seeing as me and his dad are no longer together this could open another whole book of worms to cause more hassle and aggro between us even tho i would like to think i only have my sons wishes and best interests at heart and would like to think something like this we could work together on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am an agnostic, in that I believe there is something up there/out there etc...

I celebrate any religious festival if it involves food!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I am an agnostic, in that I believe there is something up there/out there etc...

I celebrate any religious festival if it involves food!

Trust you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/08/11 12:10:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didnt have my son christened , had him blessed instead.

I felt that i didnt have the right to force a religion on him so wanted him to be fully aware of all the facts and decide for himself. Most parents automatically sign their kids up and expect them to adhere to that choice. I feel its wrong personally.

My son grew up and decided he couldnt really believe in a god ...he believed in darwins theory of evolutions therefore couldnt hold to the concept of a higher power.

He read alot about all religions and excepted that it wasnt for him. His choice.

Am i glad i did it....yes i am.

Let your son decide when he is understanding of all the facts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he is old enough to ask about it, he is old enough to have his wishes taken seriously.

As a child from a split family he may feel he is different from those kids with both parents at home.

Being unchristened may make him feel even more different from other kids. All they want at that age is to be the same as their friends.

Perhaps a christening can be done by the school minister of the church they visit? I'm sure it can be done without a fuss, I know my friend had to be christened himself before his baby was and it was done discreetely.

Good luck in whatever you decide and I hope your son is happy with the decision. Xx

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

"I didnt have my son christened , had him blessed instead.

My son grew up and decided he couldnt really believe in a god ...he believed in darwins theory of evolutions therefore couldnt hold to the concept of a higher power.

He read alot about all religions and excepted that it wasnt for him. His choice.

Am i glad i did it....yes i am.

Let your son decide when he is understanding of all the facts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You said you wanted to wait until he was old enough to make the decision for himself. It sounds as though he has reached that point in his young life, and if he is adamant he wants to be christened then take him to your local church and ask the vicar to explain it to him and what it will entail. I'm not religious myself in any way at all but I respect the rights of those that do have faith.

It sounds like you have a healthy intelligent child who knows his own mind. Give him the info he now needs to understand his decision. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i honestly dont see the value in it, unless practising religion, oh i'm a proddy lol....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wanted to be a superheero at the age of 6,, when i was 13 i didnt....

i know religion is a serious thing but id hold out for a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didnt have my son christened , had him blessed instead.

My son grew up and decided he couldnt really believe in a god ...he believed in darwins theory of evolutions therefore couldnt hold to the concept of a higher power.

He read alot about all religions and excepted that it wasnt for him. His choice.

Am i glad i did it....yes i am.

Let your son decide when he is understanding of all the facts

Our church had a triple christening this morning... Three little ladies aged 6 months, a year (or so) and 5yrs.

I have adult friends who are not long christened...

There is no "best before" date on turning to Christ.

If it is important, for whatever 6 yr olds reasons, I would seriously attempt to do it.

Good luck... Xx

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

6 does seem a little young - kids have fads don't they - he might be onto something else next month? I'd be tempted to say "you can do it when you're 8" and defer the problem!

That said, so long as his dad isnt really set against it, I don't think it does any harm. It's just a ritual.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i am a baptist,and so believe that baptism should be undertaken of an age when you understand what accepting Jesus as your saviour means.

It is wonderful your boy is considering these issues,why not see if their is a child friendly church near you to attend.Then he can learn what beng christened means,and have fun doing it!

btw there are a lot of Scripture union holiday clubs over the summer,it might not be too late to enroll him.The one i help with is aimed at non church children,involves games,activites,arts crafts songs...why not see if can get hm enrolled! Free childrens activities in the summer are fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a child grows up to be considered as an adult legally, he/she can change whatever he/she does not like.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Just did some googling,Sheffield has some great projects for kids,including a saturday afternoon club at the City Church, for your sons age group...why not pop along?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thankyou everyone so far for your brilliant advice and views you're definately all giving me plenty of ideas and avenues i can look at before making any decisions, he amazes me most of the time with his level of maturity and understanding of things within our world at just the age of 6, and it is something i want to be his decision if its what he really wants and dont want to just let it go by the wayside presuming its just a fad for him as i feel it could make him to be the person he wants to be later on in life if that makes sense

It's definately something ive got to look at from every way possible and im not planning on rushing into anything but i certainly am going to take into account everything everyone has said and provide him with all the info he needs as time goes on to hopefully help him come to his own educated decision.

thankyou to you all you've given me ideas and avenues to look at which id not even thought about but its all very helpful and appreciated xxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just did some googling,Sheffield has some great projects for kids,including a saturday afternoon club at the City Church, for your sons age group...why not pop along?

thankyou very much its deeply appreciated definately something im going to look at now and at the perfect time to do it while hes off school and has time to spend with me so we can explore all this more xxx

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

both my brothers kids are in their 30's now, neither have been christened and doesn't seem to have harmed them. On the other hand both of ours have and we haven't seen the god parents of one of them in years.

suppose it is all down to your own personal choice

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Do you go to church?

Do you follow the teachings of the Christian bible ?

Does your son go to a Church funded school where all the other children are Christians ?

Will you be raising him in the Christian Faith?

He may well fancy the idea of being Christened but at his idea he has a six year old concept of what it means. He'll believe there is a god if you tell him there is.

I say get him christened it does absolutely no harm to those that are not forced to follow.

When he rejects Christianity and he will at some point in his life - whether he returns to it or not - being Christened does not prevent him from becoming atheist or indeed taking up a scientific stance or another religion of his choice.

I'm agnostic with atheist leanings.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

P.S Im not christened.

I'd be interested to know if he came home and announced he wanted to be a Muslim would you still be amazed at his wonderful intelligence and agonise over whether to do it or not ......or just tell him NO ?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Just did some googling,Sheffield has some great projects for kids,including a saturday afternoon club at the City Church, for your sons age group...why not pop along?

NP, if u want i can pm u the addresses of a couple of places.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

And ....

Another thing I want to know is .....

Do Christianity and Swinging make good bedfellows ?

I mean .... Can Christians be Swingers or Swingers be Christians?

What's the Christian stance on fucking about ?

I wanna know ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although mine are not Christened we are part of the local community church group my youngest loves it friends with the local vicar. We have a splash family fun night once a month and a cushion club once a month on a Sunday. I like it because she is learning but it is not pushed in our faces which some religions are. And it is up to her to decide which path she wants to go down.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What's a cushion club ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you go to church?

Do you follow the teachings of the Christian bible ?

Does your son go to a Church funded school where all the other children are Christians ?

Will you be raising him in the Christian Faith?

He may well fancy the idea of being Christened but at his idea he has a six year old concept of what it means. He'll believe there is a god if you tell him there is.

I say get him christened it does absolutely no harm to those that are not forced to follow.

I'm agnostic with atheist leanings. "

no i dont go to church myself either which is why i think this has brought up quite a few mixed feelings on the subject for myself i do however like to think i do follow some but maybe not all of the teachings of the christian bible. And i feel this has brought up questions that im now asking myself on my own beliefs and views and maybe i will take on very different views and beliefs myself when looking into and researching all the possibilities out there.

i just thought id get some views of it from others and maybe new ideas which id not thought of to start me off on how to approach this subject.

He goes to a mainstream infant school just in our local village so its not something that is expected of them kind of thing and to be honest the last i heard we'd not even got a regular vicar at our church and they do regurlarly have someone from the new life church near us go into his school etc for assemblies such as easter and harvest festival so i think even his school is very open minded to it all in a way.

i'm now getting the feeling ive opened up a very big can of worms here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And ....

Another thing I want to know is .....

Do Christianity and Swinging make good bedfellows ?

I mean .... Can Christians be Swingers or Swingers be Christians?

What's the Christian stance on fucking about ?

I wanna know ..."

thats what i dont get at all!-

fuck i'd imagine my priest wanking away while i confess what i done this week hehehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and sorry going off the subject about adults and their religious views and swinging but can u see the correalation between sexually repressive religious regimes?- its something I'd consider when I have kids(some day), do I really want to bring them up from an early age to be pretty intolerent of sexuality and sexual freedoms???- I dont believe in kids learning too much about sex from an early age, but for when they grow up, I can see religion always as a barrier to acceptance (in any culture)

*of course if anyone tells me theyve diisclosed their swinging habits to their parish/community etc etc and recieved open arms please tell me I'm wrong lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"P.S Im not christened.

to be honest i probably would still be amazed at him and be interested in his views and wishes and hopefully would support him in whatever he wanted to do whatever his decision may be, i have many friends and family of different race religion and culture and dont feel that just because they are different in any way to me is a problem.

My mum i would class as a very christian person and follower etc but my dad on the other hand walked out on her a couple of years ago and i now have a step mum whos originally from zimbabwe and 2 younger siblings who i love and respect just as much as any of my family members and friends.

i have many friends also that are pakistani, muslim, african, irish etc the list could go on and i love and respect them purely for the people they are not for their beliefs or views i understand i may not agree with their views or beliefs and they dont mine but i respect that and just love them for the person they are, i suppose if we all did believe and think in an identical way the world wouldnt be so diverse and interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A person's faith shouldn't have conflicts with their sexuality. If Christians can't be swingers because of their faith then similarly gays ought not to be gays if they are practising Christians too, and we all know how wrong that would be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...i'm now getting the feeling ive opened up a very big can of worms here

You have;-) but not in a bad way...

Its a mahoosive subject... With huge numbers of varied opinions...

You asked, You got...;-) Enjoy...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"and sorry going off the subject about adults and their religious views and swinging but can u see the correalation between sexually repressive religious regimes?- its something I'd consider when I have kids(some day), do I really want to bring them up from an early age to be pretty intolerent of sexuality and sexual freedoms???- I dont believe in kids learning too much about sex from an early age, but for when they grow up, I can see religion always as a barrier to acceptance (in any culture)

*of course if anyone tells me theyve diisclosed their swinging habits to their parish/community etc etc and recieved open arms please tell me I'm wrong lol"

so me turning up at church to see a vicar to ask for advice and telling him my friends on fabswingers advised me to come see him maybe not such a good idea ?? lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...i'm now getting the feeling ive opened up a very big can of worms here

You have;-) but not in a bad way...

Its a mahoosive subject... With huge numbers of varied opinions...

You asked, You got...;-) Enjoy...

yeah jokes aside i really am greatful for everyones help and views and i think it is the sheer complexity and diversity of the subject thats making it such a toughie for me on this one hopefully i'll do my best xxx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

*of course if anyone tells me theyve diisclosed their swinging habits to their parish/community etc etc and recieved open arms please tell me I'm wrong lol

so me turning up at church to see a vicar to ask for advice and telling him my friends on fabswingers advised me to come see him maybe not such a good idea ?? lol

He might tell you his nick !!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"And ....

Another thing I want to know is .....

Do Christianity and Swinging make good bedfellows ?

I mean .... Can Christians be Swingers or Swingers be Christians?

What's the Christian stance on fucking about ?

I wanna know ...

thats what i dont get at all!-

fuck i'd imagine my priest wanking away while i confess what i done this week hehehehe"

So .... heavily into role play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a cushion club ?"
Its a bit like Sunday school bible lessons with a service.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum was raised as a catholic went to catholic school etc but she never goes to church. Only weddings and funerals I was christened. Faith is a good thing. But I don't like being preached to or the religion shoved down my throat.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My son hasnt been christened. Im not religious and also what right have i to force something as strong as religion on my child.

However, roughly the same age as your son the topic came up, must of been something they where doing in school.

So i said to my son that as he got older he could choose to be whatever religion he wanted as long as he had done all the research and told him that he would have to go through various stages to become a member of whatever religion he choose.

Hes almost 21 and never mentioned it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And ....

Another thing I want to know is .....

Do Christianity and Swinging make good bedfellows ?

I mean .... Can Christians be Swingers or Swingers be Christians?

What's the Christian stance on fucking about ?

I wanna know ...

thats what i dont get at all!-

fuck i'd imagine my priest wanking away while i confess what i done this week hehehehe

So .... heavily into role play?"

well if he brought in a nun....aye lol...i bety those confession boxey things are gloryholes anyway hehe

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Spoken like a true pervert.... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spoken like a true pervert.... x "

i nearly came at ur compliment...OH!GODDDDDDDD- ok have now.... thanx crumpetnun xxx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Spoken like a true pervert.... x

i nearly came at ur compliment...OH!GODDDDDDDD- ok have now.... thanx crumpetnun xxx"

Quite a cum call for an agnostic.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What do non christians scream at the point of climax ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spoken like a true pervert.... x

i nearly came at ur compliment..."OH!SOME BIG GIANT ENTITY NON CONFORMING TO PPLS IDEALS OF RELIGION"- ok have now.... thanx crumpetnun xxx

Quite a cum call for an agnostic."

was never gonna work was it???? hehe xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do non christians scream at the point of climax ?"

GRAAANNNNYYYYY!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

im sat here actually laughing out loud here remind me not to read this thread before going to anywhere to get my advice from or i'm gonna be grinning all the time and they'll think im some mad woman lol

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"And ....

Another thing I want to know is .....

Do Christianity and Swinging make good bedfellows ?

I mean .... Can Christians be Swingers or Swingers be Christians?

What's the Christian stance on fucking about ?

I wanna know ..."

This Christian can

i see it on a number of levels...no one is perfect.i may fuck around,but i don't live in luxury whilst children starve.Jesus forgave the prostitute but destroyed the stalls of the money makers in the temple.Suggesting where his priorities lie.

Secondly as it says on our profile we dont meet adulterers.Kev feels as strongly about this as me and he is no Christian.

Third,since i do nothing without the consent of kev i do not consider myself unfaithful.There are many different models of marriage in the bible.When Rebbekah gave her handmaid to Jacob to fuck(Jacob beng the father of Israel) she was hardly behaving in a Daily Mail approved manner

As far as my church knowing,sadly they dont,but i do not hide my views on sexualty,as positive and a blessing. i recently led a study on Adam and Eve and the discovery of shame.Some very straight laced people left saying i had made them reasses their view of the human body .

But most importantly my relationship with God is personal,i reckon he knows me best and can cope with a bdsm fuck slut Christian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To poach a line and add a slant ……… “I don’t object to the concept of a deity”, I’m just baffled by the notion of why anyone would feel comfortable inducting their child to one which requires these very young children to participate in a formal ritualised display of allegiance, which is partly performed to anule the fear that should the child have befallen a tragic event before this ritual was performed, that child would then have been eternally dammed from entering the kingdom of heaven....which seems a tad harsh in my view!!!

ThatsallIhavetosayonthematterfacehere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally do not think that anyone under 16 should be christened, or baptised or anything.. but then for me I would ban all religion anyway..

My son wanted to go to church but it was because his friends were... He soon forgot about the idea.

Cali

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What do non christians scream at the point of climax ?

GRAAANNNNYYYYY!!!!

I'll do Christians too. I want sex not a second coming... on second thoughts..

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"To poach a line and add a slant ……… “I don’t object to the concept of a deity”, I’m just baffled by the notion of why anyone would feel comfortable inducting their child to one which requires these very young children to participate in a formal ritualised display of allegiance, which is partly performed to anule the fear that should the child have befallen a tragic event before this ritual was performed, that child would then have been eternally dammed from entering the kingdom of heaven....which seems a tad harsh in my view!!!

ThatsallIhavetosayonthematterfacehere

Precisely ... was it Dickie Dawkins or View ???? Monty Python ... ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ThatsallIhavetosayonthematterfacehere

Precisely ... was it Dickie Dawkins or View ???? Monty Python ... ???"

Haha,,,, nothing so high brow Granny...it was infact the character Amy Farah Fowler on the american comedy show "The Big Bang Theory"

IknowItskindashallowbutthatshowmakesmechucklefacehere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My farther was catholic

My mother c of e

They let me decide and I was baptised at 15

In my teens I was heavily involved in the church

Even getting to be accepted into ministry training

I have however been a complete atheist since the age of 22 xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My father is catholic and my mother church of england, ive not been christened/baptized and neither has my son and i go out with a jew although none practicing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i am still reading and taking in all your points of view everyone definately giving me alot to think about and its appreciated xxx

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By *uckoo clockCouple
over a year ago

Merseyside

Soapy.......what changed your view ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my nanna tells me all the time(nannas for ya eh!) when her mother died, a priest came around to the house to offer to take the the kids off G/granda because he was protestant lol... remember its still pretty bad up here sectarian wise!!!!-imagine what it was like back then (1930s)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a selfish believer, only seeking help and guidance when i'm in ill health or someone has died and i'm grieving.

I have been Christened and it says C of E on my birth certificate (i think). None of my family are religious so not entirely sure why they Christened me. I was having the conversation with some friends about getting my little one Christened, but for selfish reasons. If something happened to me, id like the big man upstairs to be looking after her i guess plus it means she has godparents.

Im not sure of the legalities of Godparents etc.. But was only just a brief thought. Like i said im only a part time believer, when i need something (very selfish i know)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I'm a selfish believer, only seeking help and guidance when i'm in ill health or someone has died and i'm grieving.

Im not sure of the legalities of Godparents etc.. But was only just a brief thought. Like i said im only a part time believer, when i need something (very selfish i know)"

Alot of people are having guardians (cant remember the exact name) instead of godparents these days. My sister is one as the church my sisters friend wanted her baby christened in wouldnt allow my sister to be godmother.

I have a goddaughter it was a small village church and the vicar knew i wasnt christened and accepted that i would guide her through life bla bla bla.

Just depends on the vicarss these days.

But children dont automatically go to godparents if the parent dies, its more about bringing them up with christian but more moral beliefs. My godaughter is the daughter i have never had and i treat her as such

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My father is catholic and my mother church of england, ive not been christened/baptized and neither has my son and i go out with a jew although none practicing"

Im C of E with all the trimmings...

In my life I lived 2 and 8 years with Italian Buddists... And all my/ our "closest" friends were Catholics...

Good people all... The pride of their prophets...;-)

If anyone of my friends was Jewish... So be it

No skin off my nose...

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