FabSwingers.com forum: Dementia

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wondered if anyone has experienced early dementia with anyone you may know?

Its a very very touchy and sensitive subject i know but someone close to me is very forgetful and gets angry when i point out i've said things 3 or 4 times, they are becoming more agressive too

Just wouldnt know how to approach the subject either.. its frustrating

The aggression or frustration only comes out behind closed doors, never in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered if anyone has experienced early dementia with anyone you may know?

Its a very very touchy and sensitive subject i know but someone close to me is very forgetful and gets angry when i point out i've said things 3 or 4 times, they are becoming more agressive too

Just wouldnt know how to approach the subject either.. its frustrating

The aggression or frustration only comes out behind closed doors, never in public. "

touchy subject.

I worked within the social services with such and it needs diagnosing by a professional .

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By *lackboaWoman
over a year ago

greenock

how old???......it could be many things......stress or diabetes for example.....and has anyone else noticed?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I think first and foremost any physical problems need to be ruled out, start at GP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think first and foremost any physical problems need to be ruled out, start at GP"

+ 1....its a dangerous thing to make guesses

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Def the GP rather than diagnosing it yourself, but if you have concerns the sooner it is properly diagnosed the better

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By *lackboaWoman
over a year ago

greenock

getting the said person to a GP may be a problem.....IF they dont think they have one....

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"getting the said person to a GP may be a problem.....IF they dont think they have one...."
Not really, just a normal health check, like BP etc.....bit underhand but usually works

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one likes to admit that they are aging...

Dementia is an additional way of taking away your liberty... and pride.

The anger and fear is more directed at the sufferers frustration...

But of course we, the nearest and dearest are easiest to lash out at...

Find a way of getting professional help for the patients illness and the carers education.

Master patience, grieving in private and take regular respite breaks.

Xxx

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By *ove bi guysWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Going to the GP is a good idea.

Try to speak to your friend/relative and encourage them to speak to someone about it. It may well be something physical or emotional that is presenting it self with being forgetful.

It may help your friend if you spoke to them calmly at a different time to when they have been forgetful. It is extremely distressing for someone who is forgetful (for whatever reason) and there anger may be a sign of frustration and fear that they know something has changed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People accuse me of having a goldfish memory, and facts and figures I knew as well as my name and phone number are hard to recall.

My ex brother-in-law mentioned the death of a family member and I would have bet my house it's the first time I was hearing it but I KNEW it couldn't have been. My daughter sees her cousins all the time and would have told me her uncle died. When I asked her she just rolled her eyes and said I told you at Christmas!

If the person you're talking about is female and menopausal that could have some bearing on the mind too. I have an implant, I nearly changed my mind as memory loss and hallucinations is one of the side effects and I can ill afford to loose any more grey cells!

Life can be unkind and unfair!

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

having worked with people with dementia like others have said it best to go to gp with your concerns then it may be easier to approach the person you are worried about.

if they do have dementia the anger is mostly frustration as they often realise in early stages that they are forgetting silly things they should know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its my 70yr old grandad, so not very old. Its just his agression i worry most about especially towards my grandma. They have always had their spats but they are becoming more frequent and its stressing my grandma out, she ends up on the phone in tears to me. He will be nice as pie to her when im there, but when im on the phone i can hear him shouting.

My grandma asks him what he'd like cooked for dinner when he pops home at lunch time and she'll prepare it for him, but when he gets home he swears that he never asked for what she prepared. Yesterday when i was there in the space of one hour he asked 3 times what he was having..

My grandad isnt the kind of man who will go to a GP.. he'd rather suffer in silence than see a doctor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its very difficult Sassy...

My step father is in a nursing home, with terminal cancer..

We`d love for him to be at home, like my natural father was , when he passed on thru cancer...

Tragically Rob has dementia, which makes looking after him at home almost impossible..

Mabye dementia manifests itself in people in diffferent ways..I`ve some feeling that some are quite placid..

Generally Rob is, but has had some moments where he has erupted like a ragging bull...

He once attacked me whilst I was visiting the family home ...now I ain`t a pansy suffice to say ...but he was extremely difficult to subdue (an ex soldier, boxer, mountaineer)

Recently ..2 weeks ago he erupted in hospital, requiring 7/8 peeps to restrain him....given his medical condition with the cancer...it serves to show the power of the mind..in the light of this, and with much soul searching my mum has relented and we`ve put Rob in a nursing home....its extremely tough and emotional...watchin someone you know disssappear into delerium...we have fewer and fewer lucid moments with Rob..heartbreaking stuff..

The thing we`ve learn``t is not to confront Rob when he looks like he`s gona have a benny...it just seems to aggravate the situation...we just agree with him...it seems to diffuse the tension...

Its a journey into tolerance....it can be frustrating having to repeat yerslf and deal with the irrationality....

Hope things work out fer you..remember the person doesn`t mean to behave like they do...they`re unaware mostly and confused..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one likes to admit that they are aging...

Dementia is an additional way of taking away your liberty... and pride.

The anger and fear is more directed at the sufferers frustration...

But of course we, the nearest and dearest are easiest to lash out at...

Find a way of getting professional help for the patients illness and the carers education.

Master patience, grieving in private and take regular respite breaks.

Xxx"

Nice post Euro...carers education is especially important yer right...

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By *ove bi guysWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Why don't you and your grandma go to the GP togther and have a chat to him/her. This must be very draining on her and distressing seeing her husband change so much. Your Grandma as much as your grandad need help and support.

Older men can be very reluctant to go to the GP, my dads stance is what he doesn't know won't kill him

Whatever the diagnosis there is help available xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Seek advice where you can. If your grandad doesn't want to go to the G.P. there isn't much you can do unless he becomes a danger to himself or others.

I don't want to revolve the convo around your grandad as there may be other forces at play causing his frustration.

I'd lose it with someone who told me I was repeating myself too.

If he does have early dementia there's no point in telling him he's forgetting cos he'll forget you said it.

It's up to the able to repeat with dignity in mind for all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I witnessed my late Father go from the early stages of dementia right up to the final stages when it claimed his life.

There are several different 'types of dementia, Altzheimers and Lewey Bodies being only two of them. My Dad suffered from the 'lewey Bodies' variant of the disease ...

I would advise you to seek the advice of a professional if you suspect that your friend may be in the early stages of the illness because there are medications which CAN (no gaurantees) slow down it's progress.

Sadly there is no cure ...

If you'd like any further information (bearing mind that I can only speak from experience and that I'm not medically qualified) please feel free to PM me

Bob.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for the input and advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want info on dementia its worth trying nhs choices website. Its pretty good for giving overview of symptoms and treatments for all manner of things or you can ring nhs direct and ask for a call back from health information advisor who will look into your query and give you advice on organisations who may be able to offer support.

As others have said your gp is the best person to speak to but if your grandfather doesn't have regular contact with his doctor its very difficult for you.

I was in a similar situation and I was able to speak to his gp and explain what was going on at home then he asked pertinent questions when he next saw him.

There are so many things it could be related to most important thing is to try not to assume the worst and just do what you can to help x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Just wondered if anyone has experienced early dementia with anyone you may know?

Its a very very touchy and sensitive subject i know but someone close to me is very forgetful and gets angry when i point out i've said things 3 or 4 times, they are becoming more agressive too

Just wouldnt know how to approach the subject either.. its frustrating

The aggression or frustration only comes out behind closed doors, never in public. "

Can you talk to their GP,perhaps they could get them in for a general medical?

It is hard, especially as aggression can be a symptom.Remember though depression can also be a cause.

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

its hard because the aggression is not them normally.

like above I definitely recommend your grandma talks to a professional because there are all sorts of help out there.

Lived with my nan through alzheimers for years and it's hard.

My mates mum is at that stage now and it's hard to see when you have known them from 7 yers old. She has good support though so it's just a matter of seeing what your local area can provide

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Weren’t you a community care worker with the elderly? Have you thought of asking your former colleagues…. some of them may have had training which may help in encouraging him to see the GP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its hard because the aggression is not them normally.

That is so true - my Dad turned very aggressive which was quite the reverse of the man that he really was. Before he was taken down by the illness, he never had a violent or aggressive bone in his body, in fact he hated violence, aggression and bad language with a passion but the illness turned him in the complete and opposite direction. It was a horrible thing to witness ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was recently getting very worried by my memory and actions

But was checked out and told that it was the fact that im going through a very stressful time

Hope it works out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My father has dementia, its progressive and some of the symptoms your mentioned are what I experienced. However it must be delt with by professionals asp.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

My step FIL has not long died and he had Alzheimers....he was the most gentle man I had ever met but turned the total opposite when the it took hold.

Telling your grandad he is repeating things and getting frustrated with him will just make him more frustrated , you know what advice would probably get on this thread and it is good advice, the doctors is the only way forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If, in the unfortunate event, some form of dementia is eventually diagnosed, The Alzheimers Society are a fantastic source of information and support for families and carers.

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