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An other joke thead. ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

An ugly woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them. The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would u think they're twins, Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?" The clerk replied,"I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would fuck you twice." !!

??????

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Got me giggling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened when Jesus went to mount olive?

Popeye kicked the fuck out of him

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got me giggling "

Now tell me one to make me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boss said to me "Why do you come out in a rash every time I give you your wages"?

I said "It's because i'm allergic to fucking peanuts"....!

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow


"Got me giggling

Now tell me one to make me giggle "

I could show you one you'd laugh out loud at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got into a lift in a multi-storey car park, only to find that someone had changed all the floor numbers on the buttons..

It was wrong on so many levels...!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it that you're white but I'm black?" I said to my mum.

"Don't ask," she replied. "When I think back to that party it's lucky you don't bark."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What happened when Jesus went to mount olive?

Popeye kicked the fuck out of him"

That got a titter

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My boss said to me "Why do you come out in a rash every time I give you your wages"?

I said "It's because i'm allergic to fucking peanuts"....!"

Must try harder

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got me giggling

Now tell me one to make me giggle

I could show you one you'd laugh out loud at "

I'll pass on that one

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I got into a lift in a multi-storey car park, only to find that someone had changed all the floor numbers on the buttons..

It was wrong on so many levels...!!"

Striaght out of a Xmas cracker

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""Why is it that you're white but I'm black?" I said to my mum.

"Don't ask," she replied. "When I think back to that party it's lucky you don't bark." "

Wood woof

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

What does skydiving and getting a blow job off your granny have in common???

Just don't look down !!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What does skydiving and getting a blow job off your granny have in common???

Just don't look down !!!

"

Sick

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

What's the difference between erotic and kinky... ???

Erotic you use a feather...

Kinky you use the whole chicken...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Paddy says mick im thinking of getting a Labrador..... fuck that says mick have you seen how many of their owners go blind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two American tourists were travelling around Europe, visiting places that they had heard of but their families didn't believe existed.

So having visited many places, they couldn't miss out on n opportunity to visit Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch

So they got on the train and were really looking forward to telling their family that they had been to Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch.

Neither of them could pronounce Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch but were really embarrased about showing their ignorance.

Anyway, they arrived at Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch Station and decided to look around.

Starving by this stage, they decided to get a bite to eat.

Rather than not knowing, they decided to ask the lady behind the counter:

"Gee, we have been round your amazing United States of Europe and seen some strange names, can you help Bud here with how to pronounce the name of your quaint little place here? Please say it slowly so we can get it right"

The girl leaned over and said....

"Burrrrrrrrrgerrrrrrrr Kinnnnnnng"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found a hole in my trainer that's big enough to put my finger in. Now she's made a formal complaint, and I'm banned from the gym..!!

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