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Own worst enemy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So after a run of being single for 2 yrs I can't get it right.

After having an abusive ex I shut things down at the first hint of trouble.

I can't get the dating right, the meets right, or even pulling right. Apparently when I'm out I give off the impression I don't want people to like me.

The last meet I had, was getting along fine until I picked a bone n killed it.

The last dating I did, I was quick to dismiss due to him being selfish, in my opinion.

So moving forward, I can't change me. I have a quick wit n dry humour. May seem standoffish but I should probably give people more time before bringing out the goodbye door.

I can't change the past for sure.

I know you gotta love yourself before you can love another and quite possibly there's some inner turmoil I should deal with.

Any one else going thru similar?

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

My problem is I am a bit cold with letting people

In and takes a long time to get to know me properly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im too trusting and see the good in people - i am getting tougher though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"im too trusting and see the good in people - i am getting tougher though"

I don't trust people anymore. I struggle to let them in. Let down a lot before. My rose tinted glasses got smashed.

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By *izza1380Man
over a year ago

wingate

Not going through it but have bin on the recieving end, if the other person likes you enough they will get over it and try again things will get better. When you get the feeling of theres the door try to look for the positives

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sound advice.

I think me and the last person are too stubborn.

Plus things got said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very much so. No advice sorry, just feeling your pain xx

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

I know exactly how you feel as well

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Virtual hug x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Part of me wants my happy ever after, the other part is too scared to try to let it happen.

I probably sabotage myself. Get it over and done with before I get too deep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Part of me wants my happy ever after, the other part is too scared to try to let it happen.

I probably sabotage myself. Get it over and done with before I get too deep. "

im a bit like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Part of me wants my happy ever after, the other part is too scared to try to let it happen.

I probably sabotage myself. Get it over and done with before I get too deep. "

^ this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things always get said. Sometimes they can be unsaid sometimes they can't.

Yesterday has gone it cannot be changed no matter how long you look back or how much you wish it may be.

Tomorrow is too far in the future to worry about. And if you dwell in the past and fear the future you miss the most important part..

For today now this is all we have if we lose today by looking back or forget today by worrying about tomorrow then we lose today too.

It's often not easy but don't look back in anger don't look forward in fear...

Today you are you can you will...

Believe and live today...

X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/08/17 20:33:05]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Part of me wants my happy ever after, the other part is too scared to try to let it happen.

I probably sabotage myself. Get it over and done with before I get too deep.

^ this"

Exactly this.

I'd like to try again. But I don't think I have the option of

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Things always get said. Sometimes they can be unsaid sometimes they can't.

Yesterday has gone it cannot be changed no matter how long you look back or how much you wish it may be.

Tomorrow is too far in the future to worry about. And if you dwell in the past and fear the future you miss the most important part..

For today now this is all we have if we lose today by looking back or forget today by worrying about tomorrow then we lose today too.

It's often not easy but don't look back in anger don't look forward in fear...

Today you are you can you will...

Believe and live today...

X"

Well yes. I often say today isn't yesterday, it's not tomorrow either. But if I hadn't thrown my size 8s in yesterday, tomorrow may be that little bit more sweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/08/17 20:43:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never give in never surrender never say never...

If you want it enough then you will find a way. The only time that doesn't work is if one of you turns and runs away..

Go find your happy x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Aw. Thanks. Some nice replies in here x

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I'm scared of getting hurt so find fault as an excuse to shut them out, then feel shitty cos im alone, its a vicious circle and I hate myself for doing it

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

Good tune

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

kind of.

been working on myself for well over a year now, feel like i'm doing okish. better than before.

don't want to go into detail about what's happening lately because making yourself vulnerable on here brings out the wolves with their shitty opinions and comments and i have no interest in what they have to say at all. plus i can't really explain it and that's part of my problem.

i think it's good to shut things down when they are likely to harm you and there's nothing wrong with that at all. it's when you shut down everything is the problem, i recognise this. so am working on that now. will need a lot of help but reached out today to get that.

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By *eepster1Man
over a year ago

birmingham

Single =peace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Single =peace"
+ can = boring

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I bit the bullet.

Regardless of anything. I feel better. Nowt worse than I could a

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Aw. Thanks. Some nice replies in here x "

Get into some kind of talking therapy OP - sometimes people need help to unravel a ball of wool. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So after a run of being single for 2 yrs I can't get it right.

After having an abusive ex I shut things down at the first hint of trouble.

I can't get the dating right, the meets right, or even pulling right. Apparently when I'm out I give off the impression I don't want people to like me.

The last meet I had, was getting along fine until I picked a bone n killed it.

The last dating I did, I was quick to dismiss due to him being selfish, in my opinion.

So moving forward, I can't change me. I have a quick wit n dry humour. May seem standoffish but I should probably give people more time before bringing out the goodbye door.

I can't change the past for sure.

I know you gotta love yourself before you can love another and quite possibly there's some inner turmoil I should deal with.

Any one else going thru similar?"

I went through exactly this. I have found my sarcasm and quick whit is a defence mechanism. You kinda get in there to defend yourself. I'm lucky my close friends accept my humour and sarcasm in abundance. I never thought I would meet anyone again and had no intention to after being in an "eventful" 25 relationship/marriage

Get yourself in a place where your content and you'll find that person who thrives in your humour. If you find that person who shares your quick whit its quite incredible. Good luck x

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