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"take it away fabbers Your dead " | |||
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"When they say "i was slightly concerned when you stopped breathing"" | |||
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"The lady you are with completely drains your balls " with a syringe | |||
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"You wake up dead... worst things in the world are waking up dead or being killed to death. You know you're fucked if that happens " PMSL @ this | |||
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"When you can feel that "just fucked" feeling. Love it " yes that's a nice feeling but this is about being totally fucked you no like when the zombie apocalypse is in full swing and your trapped on the roof of a car out of fuel surrounded by the undead with no way out and only one bullet left in the chamber .... or when the wife comes home and catches having a three way with her two sisters . | |||
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"When your wife asks to borrow your phone " | |||
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"When a girl in her early twenties asks you. A, did you drink in the red lion around 95/96 B, did you know a woman name....... C, can you spit in this little bottle please " | |||
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"Or if you're playing I spy on an airline and their answer is loose rivet " or the air stewardess discreetly goes from passenger to passenger saying you wouldn't by any chance know how to fly a plane | |||
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"The lady you are with completely drains your balls with a syringe " Never tryed that one that would be good to see | |||
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"When I'm told to get fucked!" | |||
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"She says "I'm pregnant" and you are infertile!!" | |||
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"When you try to deepthroat with a blocked nose" | |||
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"When you fall asleep x" is that on the job | |||
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"You go to a fancy dress party in blue and white pyjamas and they direct you straight to the showers." | |||
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"You got d*unk and come home quietly, sneak under the covers to give your missus oral while shes sleeping. Then go to the bathroom where your missus is brushing her teeth and she says: "shhhhh you will wake my mum"" | |||
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"When you fall asleep x is that on the job " Yes x | |||
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"That hot girl you've finally managed to sleep with turns out to be your sister." | |||
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"When you fall asleep x is that on the job Yes x" I know someone who did that for real | |||
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"The only person left to give you a hand job is Edward scissorhands" But you do it anyway. | |||
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"When you find that your patents are on here x" Patients or parents? either way you are pretty fucked | |||
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"The only person left to give you a hand job is Edward scissorhands" | |||
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"You get back to hers after hooking up in the club and see her school uniform." | |||
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"The police turn up and think you are burying a body, only to find you with your cock out " Even worse if they find you with your cock in though, lol | |||
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"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now' I am totally fucked Peach x" Good man penfold | |||
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"When you fall asleep x is that on the job Yes x I know someone who did that for real " No that's bad x | |||
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"When you fall asleep x is that on the job Yes x I know someone who did that for real No that's bad x" for him it was he's never lived it down even to this day | |||
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"When you find that your patents are on here x Patients or parents? either way you are pretty fucked" Parents sorry I should read it before I send it lol x | |||
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"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now' I am totally fucked Peach x Good man penfold " I can't sit down Peach x | |||
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"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now' I am totally fucked Peach x Good man penfold I can't sit down Peach x" It wasn't me | |||
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"When you go to her house and she's being evicted and all her stuff is is in the garden including the bed x " | |||
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"You can't feel your face after you've just cum " the scientific name for that is Botox cramp | |||
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"You can't feel your face after you've just cum the scientific name for that is Botox cramp " Is it? When it first happened I thought i was having a stroke! | |||
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"You can't feel your face after you've just cum the scientific name for that is Botox cramp Is it? When it first happened I thought i was having a stroke! " a stroke of what | |||
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"You can't feel your face after you've just cum the scientific name for that is Botox cramp Is it? When it first happened I thought i was having a stroke! a stroke of what " Haha | |||
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"take it away fabbers " when your mother calls you by your proper name | |||
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"take it away fabbers when your mother calls you by your proper name" to true | |||
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"When you create another account and answer yourself a few posts down a thread " I bit like painting a smiley face on your right hand | |||
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"When you take off what you think is a ball gag so she can give you oral, then find out too late it was actually a muzzle" harsh by still | |||
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"When your dick is in the office cleaner's mouth and the boss walks in. " Henry is a hoover don't dress this up. | |||
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"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now' I am totally fucked Peach x Good man penfold " Fuzz | |||
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"take it away fabbers " When the rozzers are smashing your front door in | |||
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"When you are walking the dog on the Salisbury plain in the middle of nowhere with no coat and the wind picks up and the sky goes darker and darker. Then the thunder starts and the rain starts and you have to accept that by the time you get back to the car you will be ringing your knickers out." We are waterproof, knickers are not. It's only logical for you not to wear any | |||
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"take it away fabbers When the rozzers are smashing your front door in " Not so bad as when they are smashing your back door in | |||
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"You wake up dead... worst things in the world are waking up dead or being killed to death. You know you're fucked if that happens PMSL @ this There will always be someone who asks if it was something serious. Of course it was you're dead lol" Haha. #Dead | |||
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"Its been 30mins after your 3rd round & your cock has called it a day " Definitely this lol | |||
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"When you try to deepthroat with a blocked nose" I've heard that's a bitch! Lol | |||
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"take it away fabbers " When you're led side to side, knackered and slightly tender, with bloody huge grins on your faces! | |||
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"When you are walking the dog on the Salisbury plain in the middle of nowhere with no coat and the wind picks up and the sky goes darker and darker. Then the thunder starts and the rain starts and you have to accept that by the time you get back to the car you will be ringing your knickers out." all my social meets must feel totally fucked then because I always leave them squirming in there soaking when panties to guarantee a second more adventuress meet | |||
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"When your the only woman left on the planet x" | |||
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"Nightmare scenario is when handcuffed to the bed the key out of reach and your meet has a heart attack... " and the passer by who kindly answers your cries for help takes one look at you and decides to rob the place leaving you as you are | |||
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"Your body defrosts from its cryogenically frozen state because of power cuts" | |||
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"Your totally fucked when you plan for a 4 week month but its 5 weeks and your account is in negative numbers " | |||
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"When I log in.." | |||
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"You're broke and have no organs left to sell" | |||
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"When they say "i was slightly concerned when you stopped breathing"" love it! | |||
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"When you're so frazzled after your Domme has forced you to cum several times and you've soaked the bed by squirting that you need a cup of tea and a Swiss roll for a sugar boost! " and he only got down to business 20 minutes early | |||
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"When you favourite toy has broken and you only have the tv remote button to press lol x" have you tried the washing machine on a spin cycle | |||
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"When you favourite toy has broken and you only have the tv remote button to press lol x have you tried the washing machine on a spin cycle " Must try that one some time x | |||
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"You sneeze and shit yourself.... excuse me, be right back...." | |||
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