FabSwingers.com forum: Confession/confused/How do I do This?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi fabbers,

Well those of you that read my recent post/s regarding a very special meet last night will know a little about what happened and the build up to it. Thank you all for your advice and good wishes.

It is now time to confess however.... please don't judge or criticise. I know that it's wrong, but not everything is black and white.

Life is real damn hard, complicated and confusing as hell sometimes.

We had an amazing, intimate, passionate night.

It was far more than just meaningless sex for both of us. We have developed such a close bond and connection that neither of us have ever felt before. We have communicated for months and become so close, but this was actually only the second meet (first was a social)

He works away for weeks at a time and obviously can only meet when he is in the UK so it's not easy to get together.

He would be perfect....I've waited allllll my life for a fantastic guy like him.......there is one massive problem though.... and here comes the confession; he is married.

I always said that I would never meet a married guy and I certainly do not want to break up a family, but this guy means the world to me. He is everything I want and more. I think that I have fallen for him big time tbh.

We've spoken about his wife/marriage quite a lot. I don't really understand what is going on, but he says that he expected that when he started working away that sex would become more frequent..... but it didn't have any impact and they are only intimate maybe once a month at the most.

Obviously I dont know the dynamics of their marriage or the reasons, but I don't understand why she doesn't want to be Intimate with him. He is so sexy and damned amazing. Hell he drove me crazy!!

We both loved last night. He gave me a gorgeous cuddle and kiss when he left, thanked me for a wonderful night and said that he is looking forward to the next.

It nearly floored me when he returned to his family though.

I know that sounds so very selfish.

The gigantic issue that I am now facing is that I already miss him. I cant get him out of my head at all and I keep thinking about him spending time with the wife and wishing so much that it was me.

I want to see him and make love with him again, but with his work commitments (he will be going away again soon) family and children it's going to be difficult to find the time. Also for obvious reasons it's important that we don't arouse suspicion.

From what he has said, I believe that he is actually staying with her for the children. He is a great Dad and loves his kids to the earth and back.

The crux of the matter is that I don't know how to handle my feelings and I wonder if while I am allowing him to 'have his cake' then nothing is going to change.

I am also prob being way too impatient and presumptuous as it's still early days and who knows what could happen? I don't think that I have ever felt like this before. He makes me feel alive, special and gives me hope. I want to be with him so much.

I am so confused and miserable right now. After an amazing, happy, special night last night. I feel alone and lonely tonight.

As I said, please don't judge, I am not proud that we are potentially hurting his wife and possibly even splitting a family up. I don't want this, but I want him. It seems like a no win situation and I can't get my head around it.

I do know that there are problems in the marriage and IF he is going to leave his wife, it may as well be for me!

Please don't judge me or get on the morality step. I know it's wrong and I already feel guilty.

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the question? How to continue seeing him without feeling bad?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I'm not judging and I don't want to throw cold water on it. But they all say they had a great night and can't wait for the next time, obviously because they want to have sex with you again. And they all say they're just staying together for the kids.

You could waste years of your life on a man who will never be available to you. You need to figure out if that risk is worth it

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

"What's the question? How to continue seeing him without feeling bad?"

Don't sugar coat whatever you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty sure it was already known he was married from a previous thread you posted. Not the build up to the meet one but an earlier one.

What feedback would you like, OP? None of us can predict the future.

Personally, it's not a situation I would pursue.

All the best whatever you decide.

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By *evonshireboyMan
over a year ago

North Devon

There's nothing wrong with feelings, it's how you act on them that counts. We can't help who we fall for.

If he is staying with his wife for the kids' sake, how old are the kids? It could be years before they fly the nest and he becomes single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh blimey!

How many times have I heard the 'only staying for the sake of the kids and we barely have sex once a month' line

Shag him if you want but he will not leave her and you will be hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh blimey!

How many times have I heard the 'only staying for the sake of the kids and we barely have sex once a month' line

Shag him if you want but he will not leave her and you will be hurt

Miss layed....sexy as fuck...sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pretty sure it was already known he was married from a previous thread you posted. Not the build up to the meet one but an earlier one.

What feedback would you like, OP? None of us can predict the future.

Personally, it's not a situation I would pursue.

All the best whatever you decide. "

Yes I knew that he was married before we met this occasion and the last (social) meet.

I guess that the question is will he ever leave her? I realise that none of us have a crystal ball, but I kind of wanted to know your thoughts and experiences.

I can massively assure you that he is so honest, sincere and genuine as they come although I know that you will find that hard to believe given that he is cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

my god you so fuckin sexy ..love your pix tho didnt read your post it was a bit long

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with feelings, it's how you act on them that counts. We can't help who we fall for.

If he is staying with his wife for the kids' sake, how old are the kids? It could be years before they fly the nest and he becomes single.

The kids are age 12 and 9

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's becoming more than NSA on your side. Not being harsh but you can bet your life on it he dosent feel the same. I'm not saying he didn't enjoy etc but he's married got a family and playing away, plus getting sex elsewhere. He's happy with that for now.

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After your epic threads about meeting him and what to wear he's married? Kept that conveniently quiet when you were basking in everyone's good wishes didn't you? Or when you were boasting how he 'made love' to you? I'm sure you'd have got totally different responses if you'd not been deliberately deceitful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm not judging you, you are a grown woman...but bear in mind that you are taking everything he tells you as gospel.. it might be wise to remind yourself that he if is having sex with you without his partners knowledge,that makes him a liar.

you can't help how you feel about someone, but you can help what you do about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just my opinion but I very much doubt you will have what you want with him and that is him to yourself.

I believe he told you he had a good night, because he did and that he looks forward to the next time, because he does. But that may be because he is getting to have sex.

I don't see this ending in anything but heartbreak for you OP. It is something I would leave very well alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bunny boiler alert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pretty sure it was already known he was married from a previous thread you posted. Not the build up to the meet one but an earlier one.

What feedback would you like, OP? None of us can predict the future.

Personally, it's not a situation I would pursue.

All the best whatever you decide.

Yes I knew that he was married before we met this occasion and the last (social) meet.

I guess that the question is will he ever leave her? I realise that none of us have a crystal ball, but I kind of wanted to know your thoughts and experiences.

I can massively assure you that he is so honest, sincere and genuine as they come although I know that you will find that hard to believe given that he is cheating."

Nah, we're just all bloody good liars

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Complicated! Enjoy the time you do spend together but *try* not to expect anything. If he has young children and is the great guy you say he is he's not going to break his family up for a woman he's met twice. Harsh but true.

I did wonder why you only spent one night together from your other thread.

We always want things we can't have OP. Don't we?

Hugs to you x

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i would say just go with your feelings. all of them. the bad ones and the good.

this could be a lesson for you, something you need to go through to learn something about yourself.

that's about all i have to say. i can't predict your future and have no idea how this will turn out for you. but living in the moment and feeling what you feel (and not planning fantasies in your head that will distract you from what is really going on in the now) will help you a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pretty sure it was already known he was married from a previous thread you posted. Not the build up to the meet one but an earlier one.

What feedback would you like, OP? None of us can predict the future.

Personally, it's not a situation I would pursue.

All the best whatever you decide.

Yes I knew that he was married before we met this occasion and the last (social) meet.

I guess that the question is will he ever leave her? I realise that none of us have a crystal ball, but I kind of wanted to know your thoughts and experiences.

I can massively assure you that he is so honest, sincere and genuine as they come although I know that you will find that hard to believe given that he is cheating."

Some men cheat as they are unfulfilled sexually or mentally, some just cheat because they can. Some enjoy the thrill, some are genuinely unhappy.

I've never met one man say he's unfaithful because he's very happy but just wants more sex! They mostly all say the sex is shit and they don't want to leave because of children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pretty sure it was already known he was married from a previous thread you posted. Not the build up to the meet one but an earlier one.

What feedback would you like, OP? None of us can predict the future.

Personally, it's not a situation I would pursue.

All the best whatever you decide.

Yes I knew that he was married before we met this occasion and the last (social) meet.

I guess that the question is will he ever leave her? I realise that none of us have a crystal ball, but I kind of wanted to know your thoughts and experiences.

I can massively assure you that he is so honest, sincere and genuine as they come although I know that you will find that hard to believe given that he is cheating."

I'd say it's highly unlikely he will leave her. Sounds like it's too late for you to get yourself out of the situation, you're already hooked. Remember that he's probably fucking her too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk away. He will never be yours.

Or do what the hell you please. You will anyway.

Not sure what you're asking for?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's becoming more than NSA on your side. Not being harsh but you can bet your life on it he dosent feel the same. I'm not saying he didn't enjoy etc but he's married got a family and playing away, plus getting sex elsewhere. He's happy with that for now.

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman. "

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Ouch! Difficult one.Only you can decide on what to do. Please don't sit around waiting for him, though. It does look like the classic ' staying for the kids' scenario. How long are you prepared to wait for him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pretty sure it was already known he was married from a previous thread you posted. Not the build up to the meet one but an earlier one.

What feedback would you like, OP? None of us can predict the future.

Personally, it's not a situation I would pursue.

All the best whatever you decide.

Yes I knew that he was married before we met this occasion and the last (social) meet.

I guess that the question is will he ever leave her? I realise that none of us have a crystal ball, but I kind of wanted to know your thoughts and experiences.

I can massively assure you that he is so honest, sincere and genuine as they come although I know that you will find that hard to believe given that he is cheating."

No, I meant it's not a surprise to the forum! I knew you knew, just reminding you that you've told us this nugget before. And many people gave you their input.

I don't need massively assuring as to whether he's honest, sincere or genuine. I'm not shagging him!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I think you already know the answer and it is no he won't leave her, why should he when he can get women to have sex with him then toddle back to his family like nothing ever happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me. "

That's my point. Your the other woman. You deserve better. Never play second fiddle. If your even asking this you know the answer deep down.

Either tell him how you feel and maybe he will feel the same or just leave it be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one here can tell you what to do and no one here can predict what will happen in your own circumstances.

But your an adult on a swingers site you know how this works and every one here knows that emotional connections can and do develop.

My opinion for what it's worth is this can only end badly..

Probably more so for you than him. It's not always the case and I'm the eternal optimist who always believed in happy endings. I just can't see anyone having a happy ending in this situation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me. "

i know this will sound rude, but no, you don't know at all. Presumably if he can lie convincingly to a wife he has been close to for years, he can certainly lie convincingly to you. Online relationships can get very deep very quickly, because there's no normal day to day framework..just plenty of empty space to fill with fantasy..which often isn't what it seems when reality sets in..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He works away! Chances are he has another woman just like you where he works, feeding her the same lines he been feeding you, sorry to be so harsh but if he can lie to his wife about where he is when he's with you, then why would he be honest to you???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go find your own man."

We all know your opinion. Leave her alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP it's hard when you fall for someone but from your profile it seems that you have the answer yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide "

Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

My point is that she does know some of what has been going on.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Just go with the flow, some folk think way too much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide

Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

My point is that she does know some of what has been going on."

Between yourself and him or just in general ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He works away! Chances are he has another woman just like you where he works, feeding her the same lines he been feeding you, sorry to be so harsh but if he can lie to his wife about where he is when he's with you, then why would he be honest to you???"

I can assure you be he doesn't. He works in an all male environment with 170 men with no access to the 'outside world'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he is married with young kids and cheating on them then he is not really the fantastic, wonderful and loving guy you are saying he is... well maybe he acts loving with you. Hell he probably does with his wife as well! But always remember if he can treat the woman he married this way, the lies and the deceit, then he can definitely do the same to you. So at least take the rose-tinted glasses off and take a good look at him before you go any further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide

Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

My point is that she does know some of what has been going on."

Oh that's ok then. Plan your future with him.

Surely that changes nothing?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Some people will say what they think you want to hear to get what they want.He got what he wanted

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Go find your own man.

We all know your opinion. Leave her alone. "

He gave his opinion, it is allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can assure you be he doesn't. He works in an all male environment with 170 men with no access to the 'outside world' "

Aside from the World Wide Web. FaceTime Skype etc

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

OP, I think you have your answers. If you two had fallen in love, which is unlikely after two meets, it is a different thing, but it does look like he is using you and you are letting him. If he wanted to make a future with you, he would find more time for you, when he wasn't working, instead of just a few snatched hours. Think it's time for you to move on. No doubt he would find someone else, but you can get on with finding someone exclusive to you. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's great that you feel you have a connection with him. But you have to remember this is a swinging site and you should meet other people.

Also, when you are hard to get, they want you even more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide

Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

My point is that she does know some of what has been going on."

To me that's far worse than her not knowing anything. She trusted him to meet with her blessing. She trusted him when he said he wouldn't cheat again. He sounds like a real catch.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide

Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

My point is that she does know some of what has been going on.

Between yourself and him or just in general ?"

Just in general I think, although he did tell her that there was/is "someone special".

I obviously only have his word for that though.

She went mad at first and then calmed down and they talked more. She apparently agreed to give it another chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can assure you be he doesn't. He works in an all male environment with 170 men with no access to the 'outside world' "

you have clearly decided to just believe anything he says,which is your perogative..but if you are thinking things like 'if he leaves his wife it might as well be for me', then maybe also think how much fun it will be when you have 2 resentful teenagers who hate you staying every other weekend, as well as always knowing the man youre with is a very very competent liar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really not sure what the point of your post is. Clearly you have your own opinion. Are you asking fabbers to validate it ??? Perhaps you should ask his 9 & 12 year old children what they think.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ffs, what you playing at?????? Dump him now!!!. A charmer will always be a charmer, you are actually falling for the bullshit???????? Wake up woman. You're in your 40s, come on now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP there's only one person who can help with your confusion, where is he when you need the answer / reassurance...?

Ask yourself that question and you'll know the answer.

Until he makes the break from his family he is not free to be with anyone else, no matter what he tells you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

He's proved himself to be untrustworthy on numerous occasions. IF he left his wife to be with you, how could you trust him? I wish you all the best whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide

Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

My point is that she does know some of what has been going on.

Between yourself and him or just in general ?

Just in general I think, although he did tell her that there was/is "someone special".

I obviously only have his word for that though.

She went mad at first and then calmed down and they talked more. She apparently agreed to give it another chance."

And this is what he does with that chance ?

Sorry OP you will lose his wife will lose and he will just carry on as usual spinning his web of deciet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pretty sure it was already known he was married from a previous thread you posted. Not the build up to the meet one but an earlier one.

What feedback would you like, OP? None of us can predict the future.

Personally, it's not a situation I would pursue.

All the best whatever you decide.

Yes I knew that he was married before we met this occasion and the last (social) meet.

I guess that the question is will he ever leave her? I realise that none of us have a crystal ball, but I kind of wanted to know your thoughts and experiences.

I can massively assure you that he is so honest, sincere and genuine as they come although I know that you will find that hard to believe given that he is cheating."

I've known so many men that have tried to say they are not happy, the wife never has sex with them or they are just staying together for the sake of the kids. They are overused excuses i'm afraid

. You need to be cautious. I would suggest not taking everything he says as gospel. It's up to you where you go from here. But personally speaking, I would walk away. I have a feeling this will end badly..... No matter what the outcome. Only you can decide if you are willing to risk a broken heart or breaking up a family unit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok. This could get me into trouble now.

I get it.

It happens.

If what you say is true, and you did spend hours chatting etc and had a closeness then I would say that's much more than a NSA meet. I'm not saying he'll leave her but it possible to develop feelings for more than one person at a time.

Yes he loves his wife/family but it is possible to have feelings for another.

If this is not the case then maybe he's just a very good actor and you're better off without him.

The other posters are absolutely right when they say someone will get very hurt here.

How long have you known him? How many times have you met? Do you REALLY know him or just what he tells you?

There's only so much you can know about someone in such a limited time together. Words on a screen are easy to type.

I wish you luck with it, only you know what is best for all of you. I include his family in this because essentially they are part of this whether you like it or not.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

He's lying to you and his wife and someone will get hurt. It wont be him.

You don't love him, you don't know him.

I know that sounds harsh but unfortunately its probably true.

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By *.gerri.xTV/TS
over a year ago

North west

What kinkygeek75 said nails it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry for being blunt.

This will result in someone getting hurt. No one knowd if it would be you or his wife ?

But here is the crux his wife knows nothing about this.

You have the choice to walk away from it yes it will hurt a bit but you went into it with your eyes open unfortunately for her it would be like being hit with a juggernaut.

My only advice is forget about him for one sec and put your feet in her shoes maybe then you will find the answers you are looking for

Good luck with whatever you decide

Actually he had her 'permission' previously when he worked away on a more permanent basis. They agreed that he would stop when he returned home and never do it on leave but he has.

They had a long discussion a few months ago when he apparently told her that he had been cheating, but she agreed to give him another chance.

My point is that she does know some of what has been going on.

Between yourself and him or just in general ?

Just in general I think, although he did tell her that there was/is "someone special".

I obviously only have his word for that though.

She went mad at first and then calmed down and they talked more. She apparently agreed to give it another chance."

Omg listen to what you're saying!!

He told he there was 'someone special' she's apparently agreed to give him another chance and he's throwing it back in her face, what the actual fuck..?!

He's the sort of person who gives us cheating married bastards a bad name...and yes I realise the irony in that sentence...!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It'll end in someone's tears. It always does.

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Tell him to write tutorials for us blokes on fab.

We could learn a lot from this master bull-shitter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought this might be the same married man you had mentioned in your previous posts, very rarely does an affair turn into a happy ever after.

No one can predict the future to tell you how it will end, but remember people will tell lies and manipulate the truth to get what they want, doing it from behind a screen or the other end of a phone it's even easier.

Perhaps think about the advice you'd give to a friend, your sister or a daughter who found herself in the same situation.

I disagree with your statement about he may as well leave her for you, if he chooses to walk away from his wife and children then it really does need to be for him. If he chooses to leave her for you then prepare yourself for a long a traumatic road ahead, and if he's a wonderful man like you think then be ready to play second fiddle to his children.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, but can't decide if OP is just delusional or attention seeking!

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

This sounds especially harsh from me here.. I have no involvement and do not know you OP but if I found this out, I would end it right here and now.. put the night in the memory bank and get on with my life.

Nothing will change and if he did leave his wife how could you ever be sure he wasn't doing the same with someone else behind his back.

Don't play second fiddle, everyone deserves more than that.

Whatever you decide though, best wishes.

This moral compass is probably why I'm a single chap.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Tell him to write tutorials for us blokes on fab.

We could learn a lot from this master bull-shitter."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but can't decide if OP is just delusional or attention seeking!"

Bit of both I think. After the long winded run up now this. It's why I don't watch soaps!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Answer one question OP. Does he wash his dick afterwards?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without sounding really harsh as you stated black and white it seems if he's slept with someone other than his wife without her knowledge the damage is already done and he should bail. Kids are never a reason to stay with someone, i think what he is doing at the moment is far worse so his argument is invalid as his kids would most likely resent him if they found out what he is doing to their mother and if not then they would not resent him for leaving. It's his decision to make but being realistic it sounds like an impossible relationship because I doubt his children would ever accept you and if he moved for you and left his children behind they'd always see you as the reason behind it so I'd honestly say ( as horrible and hard as it will be for you) is to accept that its the right person and the wrong life. That being said it's a decision only you and him can make and it'll be something you'll both have to live with for the rest of your lives so it should be very delicately approached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but can't decide if OP is just delusional or attention seeking!

Bit of both I think. After the long winded run up now this. It's why I don't watch soaps!

I've missed the prelude....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Answer one question OP. Does he wash his dick afterwards? "

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lgWgEoaAYDY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op it doesn't really matter what anyone tells you. You're probably not really interested. You think the sun shines out of this blokes arse, so anything he tells you, you will believe.

We can only go on what you're telling us, but from that perspective alone he is coming across as a bit of a bounder.

If you're happy to believe that he loves you, that he will leave his wife and kids for you, that they never have sex, that he is as honest as the day is long, and are happy to be second choice, at his beck and call when he can fit you into his life, then by all means carry on.

But know that you are probably kidding yourself.

If you go on to get married and live happily ever after, i'll admit i was wrong.

Sorry but i've watched a best mate waste years of her life on a married man. She changed from a bubbly outgoing lady to a miserable, paranoid wreck of a woman. It was awful to witness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op it doesn't really matter what anyone tells you. You're probably not really interested. You think the sun shines out of this blokes arse, so anything he tells you, you will believe.

We can only go on what you're telling us, but from that perspective alone he is coming across as a bit of a bounder.

But know that you are probably kidding yourself.

If you go on to get married and live happily ever after, i'll admit i was wrong.

Sorry but i've watched a best mate waste years of her life on a married man. She changed from a bubbly outgoing lady to a miserable, paranoid wreck of a woman. It was awful to witness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say you have fallen for him, but what you are feeling is lust not love.

Love comes when you really get to know someone, their good and bad sides, you have only fallen for what he has allowed you to see.

Back off you will get hurt, it's doubtful he will leave his wife. If he does his whole family will be broken and he will probably do the same to you. You only know what he's telling you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but can't decide if OP is just delusional or attention seeking!

Bit of both I think. After the long winded run up now this. It's why I don't watch soaps!

Waited and waited before deciding to post, glad it's not only me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me. "

You don't know any of those things, you've met him twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

You don't know any of those things, you've met him twice."

It's the "I know" of someone who so wants it to be true they close their mind to anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

You don't know any of those things, you've met him twice."

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP read your OP and subsequent posts as though your friend wrote it. Think about what you would tell your friend to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it helps you OP, you can always pm me for the 'other side' POV.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i'm not judging you, you are a grown woman...but bear in mind that you are taking everything he tells you as gospel.. it might be wise to remind yourself that he if is having sex with you without his partners knowledge,that makes him a liar.

you can't help how you feel about someone, but you can help what you do about it.

I'm a man and I'm going to agree fully with this ladies comments. I will add this...

The one thing to you'll wish for most in your smitten state is him and he cannot and will not give you that. That for now belongs to his wife and kids even though he's cheating on them and not you. They have him whenever they want or wish. You however will get the crumbs at best and these may become stale over time as he also sees how easy it is will stray further. What's topping him meeting other women? How'd you feel about that? I'm not judging either of you I'm just trying to offer another perspective.

I have ate seeing someone hurt when they've been duped. If he's willing to do that to his wife and kids it'll be much easier to drop you in a few weeks or a months. How will you feel about that? Love is a funny thing. ..not to be ignored but certainly not to be played with. Karma.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op ..I think you need to read your own profile!!!...he's very capable of deceiving his wife and children yet you think he's honest and genuine ...sorry ..get a grip and wake up! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to add this too and it's sad really, if this was a guy he'd have been spit roasted by many of the women on her supporting you in genuine good advise. Gleaned from another post today... I wish I were a woman in times like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going to add this too and it's sad really, if this was a guy he'd have been spit roasted by many of the women on her supporting you in genuine good advise. Gleaned from another post today... I wish I were a woman in times like this.

i dont think she's had a load of supportive advice, she's had some very straightforward comments,very bluntly put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read back I don't think she was given a white knighting form males or females

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet he doesn't work away either, good excuse for only meeting now and then, wise up love ........

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

op life is to short and often to bitter to not grab what you have that's worth having and run with it .

trust me you've having the kind of feeling life was made for having enjoy this moment for all its worth life is to short to precious not to in my honest opinion .

and as for what others on here may think negatively to hell with them that's there problem not yours.

true happiness is often a fleeting butterfly on then grounds enjoy it while you can ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want to meet him again to have sex with him

That isn't a relationship. It's just sex.

Don't kid yourself that he thinks any more of you than someone to shag.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Walk away OP there are millions of men out there, you don't have to take someone else's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"op life is to short and often to bitter to not grab what you have that's worth having and run with it .

trust me you've having the kind of feeling life was made for having enjoy this moment for all its worth life is to short to precious not to in my honest opinion .

and as for what others on here may think negatively to hell with them that's there problem not yours.

true happiness is often a fleeting butterfly on then grounds enjoy it while you can ,"

she specifically says she's feeling alone and miserable!!!..and she asked for peoples responses knowing that obviously they weren't going to be wholeheartedly congratulatory..and no its not their problem, it's very clearly hers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

Yup this. The OP's post is a perfect example of 'why it's a bad idea for a single gal to meet married men' IMO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"op life is to short and often to bitter to not grab what you have that's worth having and run with it .

trust me you've having the kind of feeling life was made for having enjoy this moment for all its worth life is to short to precious not to in my honest opinion .

and as for what others on here may think negatively to hell with them that's there problem not yours.

true happiness is often a fleeting butterfly on then grounds enjoy it while you can ,"

What happens when that fleeting happiness comes crumbling down? Brush yourself down and wait for the next fleeting happiness?

I'd rather get some stable happiness, and not mess around with married/attached guys.

And before you say that's not guaranteed, it's better than hurting numerous people for a fleeting of happiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"op life is to short and often to bitter to not grab what you have that's worth having and run with it .

trust me you've having the kind of feeling life was made for having enjoy this moment for all its worth life is to short to precious not to in my honest opinion .

and as for what others on here may think negatively to hell with them that's there problem not yours.

true happiness is often a fleeting butterfly on then grounds enjoy it while you can ,

What happens when that fleeting happiness comes crumbling down? Brush yourself down and wait for the next fleeting happiness?

I'd rather get some stable happiness, and not mess around with married/attached guys.

And before you say that's not guaranteed, it's better than hurting numerous people for a fleeting of happiness. "

exactly! happiness need not be fleeting at all...and i find it hard to believe the OP is going to be happy, fleetingly or otherwise when she's tying herself up in knots already over some lying cheat..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always feel like a bishop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I always feel like a bishop."

I like the bishop!! He's always the naughty one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"op life is to short and often to bitter to not grab what you have that's worth having and run with it .

trust me you've having the kind of feeling life was made for having enjoy this moment for all its worth life is to short to precious not to in my honest opinion .

and as for what others on here may think negatively to hell with them that's there problem not yours.

true happiness is often a fleeting butterfly on then grounds enjoy it while you can ,

What happens when that fleeting happiness comes crumbling down? Brush yourself down and wait for the next fleeting happiness?

I'd rather get some stable happiness, and not mess around with married/attached guys.

And before you say that's not guaranteed, it's better than hurting numerous people for a fleeting of happiness.

This^

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Maybe time for all to back away from the post. The popcorn moment has been and gone. Just turning into a bitter slanging match now.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

she's suffering drop after a life changing event similar things happen after intense play between a top and a sub its to do with well I'm way to tired to go into the science of love at this time of night . maybe tomorrow i will run a post of the subject of love and the drop .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but can't decide if OP is just delusional or attention seeking!

Bit of both I think. After the long winded run up now this. It's why I don't watch soaps!

Waited and waited before deciding to post, glad it's not only me.

Me three! Married... after all the D.R.A.M.A.? Come on OP. I used to say that to the ladies when I was married. Most men do just so you know...

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

It will only end up in tears OP, yours. Please wise up and read your own profile. No one is worth the grief nor your sanity.

Whatever he's telling you, you think he's telling you all truth and no lies because you're someone very special to him?

He has a wife and two kids, is he being honest with them?

Take a step back and realise that no cock is magic enough to devalue your worth, but if you continue to persuade this, then you only devalue yourself and waste your own time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

oh please don't.

i think people on here are perfectly able to understand what she's feeling..after weeks of blathering about it, she finally got laid...then he left and its sunk in he'll only be back now and again, if and when he feels like it , so she feels like shit. It's happened to everyone, and everyone survives! Either she'll carry on until he gets bored or she'll decide she's worth a bit more, either way it's pretty straightforward... it's a shit situation, and i hope she feels better soon, but it hardly warrants some pseudo intellectual lecture on the 'science' of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

oh please don't.

I love you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

oh please don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a step back and reassess the situation and try to look at it objectively.

As much as it hurts if you carry on you will always be the other woman.

He can guarantee that he is only sleeping with me and the wife.

Aside from lack of time and working away, I told him that was the deal. He sleeps with only me and the wife and no-one else.

I know that he isnt the type to shag around so I know that it's just her and me.

oh please don't.

I do agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's only one person who is going to end up hurt here OP and I'm afraid that's you.

I'd put a fair sized bet that he won't leave his wife and kids.

Personally I'd nuke the relationship, cut all contact and block him off everything. Put yourself in his wife or kids shoes.

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By *inkyfun2013Couple
over a year ago

lewisham

Seriously OP are you really as naive as you seem to be trying to appear?

Ask any if the 100's of cheating guys on this site and I bet 50% have spun the same crap to get laid. In fact some have even said it in their replies!

And now you've added your defensive, stroppy message on your profile! What did you expect, congratulations and a round of applause from the forum users? Of course people will be judgmental - we all know families that have been ripped apart by infidelity and the misery it's caused.

This isn't a dating site, it's not about happy ever afters. Swinger couples trust their partners, the sex with others is mutually agreed, it's not 'cheating'. This guy you've met is a liar and a cheat. His wife has given him a second chance and he's still met you.

Take off your rose-tinted specs and be honest with yourself, because he isn't being honest with anyone, including you.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

This will end in tears. Most likely yours. If you continue I can tell you first hand its a lonely path. You'll lose yourself, your confidence and you'll forever question why you aren't enough.

Jump ship now.

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hi fabbers,

Well those of you that read my recent post/s regarding a very special meet last night will know a little about what happened and the build up to it. Thank you all for your advice and good wishes.

It is now time to confess however.... please don't judge or criticise. I know that it's wrong, but not everything is black and white.

Life is real damn hard, complicated and confusing as hell sometimes.

We had an amazing, intimate, passionate night.

He works away for weeks at a time and obviously can only meet when he is in the UK so it's not easy to get together.

He would be perfect....I've waited allllll my life for a fantastic guy like him.......there is one massive problem though.... and here comes the confession; he is married.

Obviously I dont know the dynamics of their marriage or the reasons, but I don't understand why she doesn't want to be Intimate with him. He is so sexy and damned amazing. Hell he drove me crazy!!

We both loved last night. He gave me a gorgeous cuddle and kiss when he left, thanked me for a wonderful night and said that he is looking forward to the next.

It nearly floored me when he returned to his family though.

I know that sounds so very selfish.

The gigantic issue that I am now facing is that I already miss him. I cant get him out of my head at all and I keep thinking about him spending time with the wife and wishing so much that it was me.

From what he has said, I believe that he is actually staying with her for the children. He is a great Dad and loves his kids to the earth and back.

The crux of the matter is that I don't know how to handle my feelings and I wonder if while I am allowing him to 'have his cake' then nothing is going to change.

I am so confused and miserable right now. After an amazing, happy, special night last night. I feel alone and lonely tonight.

I do know that there are problems in the marriage and IF he is going to leave his wife, it may as well be for me!

Please don't judge me or get on the morality step. I know it's wrong and I already feel guilty.

Thank you.

OP read your OP and tell me exactly what it is you want us to say? We say anything you don't want to hear you write an angry update on your profile.

We cannot tell you what to do because in the end the choice is yours,but I just hope you're happy with whatever you decide and the outcome of it after, even if it doesn't all go according to plan.

It's nice that you are open to trusting everything he says, but sometimes we just believe what we want to hear and ignore the rest.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't see him again. You could will get hurt or cause him a lot of problems. You knew he was married, you shouldn't have let your feelings get involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your own words on another thread OP: "None of us are perfect, far from it, and when you make a mistake or do what you believe to be right at the time, you become a little clouded and it feels so good you don't want to stop".

Only you can put a stop to it if you want to. Wish you good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"op life is to short and often to bitter to not grab what you have that's worth having and run with it .

trust me you've having the kind of feeling life was made for having enjoy this moment for all its worth life is to short to precious not to in my honest opinion .

and as for what others on here may think negatively to hell with them that's there problem not yours.

true happiness is often a fleeting butterfly on then grounds enjoy it while you can ,"

Unbelievable? !...true happiness at the expense of the wife and childrens devastation? ...

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

Wait a few days to look at the situation. At moment your emotions are all over the place from your meet.You need to ask yourself if you would be happy just to have snatched time with him, you will never be a priority.He has rocked your world but when your feet land firmly on the floor then make decisions but only what is best for you. Love and lust are easily confused.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, walk away. If someone is that unhapppy in their marriage they will end it and not just stay for the children. I know because I did it.

He has said what he needs to pull you in, yes I expect in the moment his feelings did appear genuine but that's because he wanted to have sex with you.

You said in other threads that he's cheated in the past so if he does leave his wife for you, what's up say he won't continue with his behaviour? If he leaves her is he planning to get another job so that he isn't away for long periods of time?

There is no point getting stroppy about people's responses, you asked and so others have responded. Unfortunately you have brought it in yourself ever so slightly with your own profile and comments about married men. How soon into chatting did he tell you he was married? Straight away? That would have been the time to walk away or after you had been chatting a while and he had got you convinced that he was for "real"? And then dropped the, "I've got a confession for you?" See we've all seen it! Ultimately he's married, and you are the only person who will get hurt.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"Sorry, but can't decide if OP is just delusional or attention seeking!

Bit of both I think. After the long winded run up now this. It's why I don't watch soaps!

I've missed the prelude....

Season 1 :

www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/657240

This is Season 2. Very gripping.

Can't wait.

Just wish the sex description is a little more graphic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK I'll say it.

He's the one cheating not you. So nothing for you to feel guilty about.

He will be more attentive because he'll want to keep you. Especially after you had such good sex. Make him earn it. Don't chase him.

Remind him that other men find you attractive and want to fuck you. You're single and could find another man at any time.

Send him pics and sexts to remind him of what he's missing.

Make sure you keep it all secret. If she finds out and he leaves her the shit will hit the fan. If she's happily oblivious he'll keep seeing you. If she's screaming and the kids are crying he won't be in the mood for a shag.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Oh I didn't know he was married,I take back when I've previously said. Yep he's having his cake and all that,stuff that nonsense!

I would want to be the most important thing in his life after his children of course,not someone he meets for a shag every few months when he can fit you in. If you want to be that person for year's alway's praying he'll leave his family for you then crack on. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi fabbers,

Well those of you that read my recent post/s regarding a very special meet last night will know a little about what happened and the build up to it. Thank you all for your advice and good wishes.

It is now time to confess however.... please don't judge or criticise. I know that it's wrong, but not everything is black and white.

Life is real damn hard, complicated and confusing as hell sometimes.

We had an amazing, intimate, passionate night.

He works away for weeks at a time and obviously can only meet when he is in the UK so it's not easy to get together.

He would be perfect....I've waited allllll my life for a fantastic guy like him.......there is one massive problem though.... and here comes the confession; he is married.

Obviously I dont know the dynamics of their marriage or the reasons, but I don't understand why she doesn't want to be Intimate with him. He is so sexy and damned amazing. Hell he drove me crazy!!

We both loved last night. He gave me a gorgeous cuddle and kiss when he left, thanked me for a wonderful night and said that he is looking forward to the next.

It nearly floored me when he returned to his family though.

I know that sounds so very selfish.

The gigantic issue that I am now facing is that I already miss him. I cant get him out of my head at all and I keep thinking about him spending time with the wife and wishing so much that it was me.

From what he has said, I believe that he is actually staying with her for the children. He is a great Dad and loves his kids to the earth and back.

The crux of the matter is that I don't know how to handle my feelings and I wonder if while I am allowing him to 'have his cake' then nothing is going to change.

I am so confused and miserable right now. After an amazing, happy, special night last night. I feel alone and lonely tonight.

I do know that there are problems in the marriage and IF he is going to leave his wife, it may as well be for me!

Please don't judge me or get on the morality step. I know it's wrong and I already feel guilty.

Thank you.

No matter what the circumstances,no matter what is said or done,no matter what the rights and wrongs,if and when the s**t hits the fan,YOU will be the villain of the piece.

His wife,their kids,anyone who knows his wife and kids,,,even total strangers in the street who have only heard a part of the story,,will hate you,they will spread rumours about you and call you a whore.

This is not me judging,it's just the way things are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a good plot twist

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Golden rule; they never leave their wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He is a liar OP and if he can do that to his wife he can also lie to you. He maybe having fab sex with her and a happy life at home but look to spice it up .. I have a feeling your going to end up hurt . Sometimes men only think of there cocks it rules there head .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No judgement op but you sound really naive .

Just because he's told you he isn't sleeping with anyone else apart from you and his wife doesn't make it true .

I think you're allowing your feelings to cloud your judgement and just taking everything he says as gospel.

If he's spending time with you then he's lieing to his wife about where he is - so what makes you think that he won't lie to you too ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this dude a fabber? If so, has he seen these threads? In fact does he even know about them? .... Just curious!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No judgement op but you sound really naive .

Just because he's told you he isn't sleeping with anyone else apart from you and his wife doesn't make it true .

I think you're allowing your feelings to cloud your judgement and just taking everything he says as gospel.

If he's spending time with you then he's lieing to his wife about where he is - so what makes you think that he won't lie to you too ?"

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Nothing is ever a fairy tale is it,if you play with fire suppose you're going to get burned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh blimey!

How many times have I heard the 'only staying for the sake of the kids and we barely have sex once a month' line

Shag him if you want but he will not leave her and you will be hurt

Absolutely this. Hes got the best of both worlds. He will never leave her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Judging by the rant status I'm assuming you were hoping for this answer

Oh it sounds like you've met your soul mate . He's going to leave her for sure and whisk you away to live happily ever after !

Better ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with feelings, it's how you act on them that counts. We can't help who we fall for.

If he is staying with his wife for the kids' sake, how old are the kids? It could be years before they fly the nest and he becomes single.

The kids are age 12 and 9 "
Mrs here sorry i havent read half the replies but did read the most important .... he gave you the im staying only for my kids we have sex once a month....

You have met this guy once for a social n once for sex then he went back to his wife jesus wake up he will never leave his wife and sorry but this is my morals but anyone who gets involved with a married man with kids is just looking for trouble its always the kids that get the most hurt

Walk away if a person is that unhappy in a marriage they would leave that marriage before embarking on another relationship anyone cheating is certainly not amazing if he can do it to her and his kids he can do it to you

I can only see this ending in tears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the rant status I'm assuming you were hoping for this answer

Oh it sounds like you've met your soul mate . He's going to leave her for sure and whisk you away to live happily ever after !

Better ?"

Also on op profile it says 'married men please pass me by '

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi fabbers,

Well those of you that read my recent post/s regarding a very special meet last night will know a little about what happened and the build up to it. Thank you all for your advice and good wishes.

It is now time to confess however.... please don't judge or criticise. I know that it's wrong, but not everything is black and white.

Life is real damn hard, complicated and confusing as hell sometimes.

We had an amazing, intimate, passionate night.

He works away for weeks at a time and obviously can only meet when he is in the UK so it's not easy to get together.

He would be perfect....I've waited allllll my life for a fantastic guy like him.......there is one massive problem though.... and here comes the confession; he is married.

Obviously I dont know the dynamics of their marriage or the reasons, but I don't understand why she doesn't want to be Intimate with him. He is so sexy and damned amazing. Hell he drove me crazy!!

We both loved last night. He gave me a gorgeous cuddle and kiss when he left, thanked me for a wonderful night and said that he is looking forward to the next.

It nearly floored me when he returned to his family though.

I know that sounds so very selfish.

The gigantic issue that I am now facing is that I already miss him. I cant get him out of my head at all and I keep thinking about him spending time with the wife and wishing so much that it was me.

From what he has said, I believe that he is actually staying with her for the children. He is a great Dad and loves his kids to the earth and back.

The crux of the matter is that I don't know how to handle my feelings and I wonder if while I am allowing him to 'have his cake' then nothing is going to change.

I am so confused and miserable right now. After an amazing, happy, special night last night. I feel alone and lonely tonight.

I do know that there are problems in the marriage and IF he is going to leave his wife, it may as well be for me!

Please don't judge me or get on the morality step. I know it's wrong and I already feel guilty.

Thank you.

Go for it have fun you just don't know what's around the corner. Don't think about it to much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the rant status I'm assuming you were hoping for this answer

Oh it sounds like you've met your soul mate . He's going to leave her for sure and whisk you away to live happily ever after !

Better ?

Also on op profile it says 'married men please pass me by '"
Maybe he was a charmer like a lot who play away are. Gift of the gab .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you feel if you were his wife?

I think that us women should obey the unwritten rule when it comes to married men. He is simply having his cake and eating it too. You will spend birthdays Christmas and every important date alone.

I think men like him are rotten and women like you shouldn't indulge him. If his wife knew that's a whole different story but she clearly doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you feel if you were his wife?

I think that us women should obey the unwritten rule when it comes to married men. He is simply having his cake and eating it too. You will spend birthdays Christmas and every important date alone.

I think men like him are rotten and women like you shouldn't indulge him. If his wife knew that's a whole different story but she clearly doesn't."
Maybe op Should get his home number and let her know she would know where she stand after that .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you feel if you were his wife?

I think that us women should obey the unwritten rule when it comes to married men. He is simply having his cake and eating it too. You will spend birthdays Christmas and every important date alone.

I think men like him are rotten and women like you shouldn't indulge him. If his wife knew that's a whole different story but she clearly doesn't."

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so u trust that what he is telling you is the truth when he is lying to someone that he has been with for at least 12 years...spending time with his children knowing he is risking their happiness

they are only having sex once a month!! omg what a crime he works away so she is looking after 2 kids the house maybe even has a job herself...of course after at least 12 years she should drop to her knees instantly and suck his cock the second he walks through the door

he is definitely only fucking you and his wife? is he still on fab still got plenty of time to chat up other women on here...could have another one waiting in another hotel that he goes to straight after you and b4 work

say he does leave his wife or more likely he gets caught and wife kicks him to the curb u gonna trust him to still work away

and remember if does happen and he is in a relationship with you... he did it to her so lets hope your sex drive never drops for any reason because then u will be the woman he is sat in a hotel room talking about to his newest conquest about complaining about only getting sex once a month

so good luck

miss k

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Don't ask him to leave his wife for you as that will be ammunition if ever you fall out.

It will also hurt if he never does it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to add something which I wouldn't normally share in detail but it might help you ...

My ex husband had an affair with a 21 year old girl he worked with . We didn't have children so he didn't use that excuse - but he used the cliche 'not in love anymore ' ' we don't have sex' etc .

The truth is we were still having sex although not that often , but that was down to him not me .

He also was texting me telling me he loves me while sat next to her in our house .

He hid my birthday cards when he brought her to our home so she wouldn't see the card saying 'to my darling wife'

When I found out (I came home early and she was still there ) did he man up and say he wanted to be with her not me ? Did he fuck . He said he wanted to make a go of things with me and she didn't mean anything . He was telling her the same shit as always .

Anyway I left shortly after as I deserve better . Just thought this might help you realise you are believing what you want to and that doesn't make it the truth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No amount of advice what people give you is going to help or mean anything to you. At the end of the day you will do what you want to do. Be it stay seeing him or walk away.

I was the other woman for 12 years before I joined here. Snatching the odd night here, the odd weekend there. Being showered with gifts etc which was nice. But on the flip side Being upset and devastated when he cancelled on me. It's not nice. All my friends told me to wake up and smell the coffee and one day I did when mum had her stroke and I could no longer focus my all on him and not be there at his beck and call. That's when he ended it with me.

Looking back now I know I wasted 12 years, made myself look stupid, list a few friends and all for what?

Good luck op with whatever you choose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you feel if you were his wife?

I think that us women should obey the unwritten rule when it comes to married men. He is simply having his cake and eating it too. You will spend birthdays Christmas and every important date alone.

I think men like him are rotten and women like you shouldn't indulge him. If his wife knew that's a whole different story but she clearly doesn't."

I don't buy into all that "unwritten rules" malarkey, reminds me of the playground.

Relationships are unique, complex & no one truly knows what goes on behind closed doors, its just a mass of generalisations & assumptione....

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales

You ask people not to judge or get all moral on you but honestly what were you expecting from posting this?

You say you feel guilty about 'potentially hurting his wife' then don't do it! I would imagine there's every potential this would hurt her, he's already hurt her and she's given him a second chance and now he's royally fucked that up aswell! And this is the guy you have been waiting your whole life for? A liar, a cheat?

Apart from the obvious hurt it would cause the wife he has children. Did your father leave your family for another woman OP? I can tell you it's painful as a child, very painful, and it can affect your trust issues for a long time after.

Like another poster said if she's looking after 2 kids on her own for weeks on end no wonder she isn't ripping his clothes off when he walks through the door she's probably fucking knackered!

To be blunt get a grip of yourself you have met him twice! I'm pretty sure it took me and my husband weeks of dates and getting to know each other before we became a 'proper' couple, one social, one shag and you are talking about him leaving his wife?

And a ranty status then because people didn't say what you wanted to hear they said the truth?

Some people will struggle to have compassion for you when you are willingly going to help break up a family, I'm sorry if you don't like this but I'm sure you notice on the forums people are straight and don't sugar coat shit situations.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"You ask people not to judge or get all moral on you but honestly what were you expecting from posting this?

Like another poster said if she's looking after 2 kids on her own for weeks on end no wonder she isn't ripping his clothes off when he walks through the door she's probably fucking knackered!

And a ranty status then because people didn't say what you wanted to hear they said the truth?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

A couple of points.

The OP didn't ask for people to discuss her profile.

Discussing bans is not allowed on the forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You walked into this situation with your eyes wide open knowing full well he was cheating. You deserve to feel the way you do. People like you disgust me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a very similar situation to you OP. . .although I was told they were splitting up. He didn't want to be with her, they no longer talked or slept together and were in the process of separating. He wanted to be with me, I was amazing and could make him happy. He text me constantly and phoned all the time. I met up with him lots and was even invited to his house often which I never did as I felt his wife had enough to cope with losing the man she loved.

Fast forward a few months of amazing sex and fun and the wife found out. Turns out they were happily married or so she thought and everything he'd told me was lies. (I too thought he was genuinely amazing and trustworthy and was blinded by the lust) funnily enough everyone around me was saying much the same as everyone is saying on here to you but of course. . . They didn't know him like I did!! Looking back I wish I'd listened to all the doubters. I got unbelievably hurt!!! It was an awful time and I would've got less hurt walking away at the beginning. Turned out he'd cheated before and probably has since and his wife must be terribly hurt finding out the man she loves is doing this to her.

My advice to you is to tell him you can't see him again unless he's single. Then you'll find out how much he wants to be with you. I'm sorry but he's a cheater and if he'll cheat with you he'll cheat on you so why put yourself through it? I wish I'd known the man I was seeing was happily married and not in the process of filing for divorce etc I would never have gone near him and it's certainly made me less trusting. I was very naive but honestly the loneliness when he leaves you everytime is soul destroying and everytime you see him you'll want him even more. I'm sure he's loving the attention. Don't be the other woman. You deserve so much better!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a very similar situation to you OP. . .although I was told they were splitting up. He didn't want to be with her, they no longer talked or slept together and were in the process of separating. He wanted to be with me, I was amazing and could make him happy. He text me constantly and phoned all the time. I met up with him lots and was even invited to his house often which I never did as I felt his wife had enough to cope with losing the man she loved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm gonna be blunt because I hate cheating. It's an almost inhuman thing to do to someone you love or have loved.

Let's say you keep at it:

Best case scenario, you build a lovely new relationship on the remains of one you helped tear apart.

Worst case scenario, you all get hurt. Even the children.

Plus, if someone has cheated once, then there's nothing stopping them from doing it again.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

All that build up on the other thread and hes just another married guy

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