FabSwingers.com forum: Marriage 2

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Someone didn't get the chance to post on the last thread so asked me to do a second.

Its been really good seeing the different views x

So we were having a chat in the chatrooms last night and it seems we all have different opinions on marriage. There were a few "its a piece of paper" type views and a few "its a symbol of commitment".

If youre married why did you get married? Or if youre engaged why are you going to?

If youre divorced why is that?

If you'll never marry what has made you decide that and is there a chance it might change?

And if youre just waiting for the one what do you hope marriage will bring?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

Committing to someone you love, for whatever reason, under the sanctity of any/all religions/beliefs is an extremely meaningful? act to experience. I don't think you'd be immune to it and it would mean SOMETHING to you, I'm sure.

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure I know why! I guess its the feeling of completeness....being married makes us feel as one! The thing is I'm not sure why we didnt feel just living together but for us it was important Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

Yes"

I was contemplating whether to reply to you or not since you're not a hot woman.

And if so I can't change it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/07/17 18:07:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was married but I got a divorce.

This was because my husband ran off with a minger.

I was married again but i became a widow.

This was because my husband died.

I would like to marry my FWB but I can't.

This is because he's not that stupid.

XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got married as it was what my hubby wanted he wanted to show everyone his commitment to me, I really wasn't fussed about it. We had a small do at the registrar office with a few family members and a couple of friends. What made it worse was the fact that out of all his family only his mum and brother could be bothered to show up (tells me Just what his family think of me).

Now after 8 yrs I am not happy I have tried to fixed what I think is broken but he doesn't think any thing is broken he won't even consider going for guidance to see if we can work things out. I have started to resent him. He has absolutely no sex drive and hasn't for the last 5 yrs so 3 years ago I came on here, 2 yrs ago I found a local man who became a regular fuck buddy and as time has gone on I have developed feelings for this man. I am currently in the process of sorting things out so I can leave hubby. I haven't told him yet but I think he knows the writing is on the wall as they say. And just last night the other bloke told me how much he loved me and would like to be with me 24/7.

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

You are joking right?

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

In answer would I get married again yes but I don't see it happening.

Duck and I have lived together for 8 years now and ate in a happy and stable relationship.

Plus he hasn't asked me and I couldn't justify the expense at the moment, although a big party would be fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

You are joking right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

Yes

I was contemplating whether to reply to you or not since you're not a hot woman.

And if so I can't change it ."

Haha.

But if you knew how much that marriage meant to me why would you insult me, by doing it just for me? That why I think you be wrong to do it for that reason of yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

No.

I think you've phrased the question carefully....

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

You are joking right?

no"

Marriage isn't about pleasing someone else, hence why I'm not married. It's about making a lifelong commitment to someone. Marrying for that reason will ultimately end in disaster, no wonder the divorce rate is so high

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

You are joking right?

I don't view marriage as sign of commitment, like I've explained in the previous thread. To me marriage would either be a legal thing or to please the other half.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Some people commented that arrange marriages have lower divorce rates because of societal factors.

That is true but it doesn't account for the whole difference in divorce rates. Broadly speaking, people in countries with arranged marriages believe that you can 'learn to love someone' whilst the west believes the marriage comes after love.

Personally i prefer the eastern philosophy in that respect. I think too many people have a disney orientated view of falling in love that isn't realistic or healthy. Disney films always end at the wedding, they never show the couple debating who should be up at 4am to feed a screaming baby...

I also sincerely doubt the majority of western people can even tell the difference between love, lust or infatuation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my eyes I'd prob only getting married if together 20 years and it would be a financial decision.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I got married because I'd never met a man like him, we loved each other and it felt like we were in a perfect bubble where nothing would ever go wrong and things would never change.

But we were young, 23 when we met, naive and rushed into it (18 months from meeting to walking up the aisle). I'd just lost my father in terrible circumstances, I don't regret anything but I do wish one of my friends or family members had told me to wait a bit longer tbh. My mind was all over the place.....

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

You are joking right?

I don't view marriage as sign of commitment, like I've explained in the previous thread. To me marriage would either be a legal thing or to please the other half."

I haven't read that so thank you for explaining. Omg it just got worse I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you're explaining that to the vicar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

You are joking right?

I don't view marriage as sign of commitment, like I've explained in the previous thread. To me marriage would either be a legal thing or to please the other half.

I haven't read that so thank you for explaining. Omg it just got worse I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you're explaining that to the vicar

I'm also not religious

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

[Removed by poster at 24/07/17 18:29:08]

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

You are joking right?

I don't view marriage as sign of commitment, like I've explained in the previous thread. To me marriage would either be a legal thing or to please the other half.

I haven't read that so thank you for explaining. Omg it just got worse I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you're explaining that to the vicar

I'm also not religious

Let's hope your future bride doesn't want a church wedding then, or your wedding could end up like a carry on film

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"[Removed by poster due to auto moron ]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A blood pact would be way cooler

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

Would you have an Ed Sheeran song as your first dance?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

" someone. Marrying for that reason will ultimately end in disaster, ..........?"

Doesn't have to! Some marriages last for life.

I agree marriage is about commitment - it is a decision.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Some people commented that arrange marriages have lower divorce rates because of societal factors.

I also sincerely doubt the majority of western people can even tell the difference between love, lust or infatuation. "

Yes, I think arranged marriages can work because there is total commitment - everything else follows from that, and I think that's what western marriages often lack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got married too young (post natal depression, parental pressure).

We split after 9 years, but only divorced last year. He remarried.

I made many sacrifices to keep my daughter unaffected, but I've raised a wonderful human being.

I look at her and know it's all worth it.

And she approves of Fab!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Some people commented that arrange marriages have lower divorce rates because of societal factors.

I also sincerely doubt the majority of western people can even tell the difference between love, lust or infatuation.

Yes, I think arranged marriages can work because there is total commitment - everything else follows from that, and I think that's what western marriages often lack. "

I agree and i also think that the involvement of family forces conversations that simply don't happen in the west. There are so many threads on this forum with guys bitching about their wives and every time i ask them "what expectations did you discuss before you got married?" it becomes clear that the answer is 'none'. Without getting political, a prominent policitian got divorced because he couldn't agree what type of school their kids should go to! I find it incredible people don't have these conversations before hand.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

No.

Not if you loved them and were planning on staying committed to them anyway.

And you knew that they'd always dreamed of getting married and it was called big thing for them.

My uncle married my aunt, for the above reason. He wanted to give her, her big day and to make her happy. He would of been happy to just stay living together, if it hadn't been such a big deal for her.

They've been married for nearly 20 years now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been married.

Assume I was, firstly I doubt I would be a fab member

. Unless whomever I was married to liked the swingers lifestyle, being if it were comfortable with the two of us to be that way.

I certainly would like to be married and have come close to being engaged in previous relationship but I think i know what the end result should look like and if I see something that is going to get in the way I will apply caution.

Too many rush in to marriage though all kinds of pressure and reason which is stupid. We live in a world now especially where having a 'successful' life in every aspect, including kids/family is completely attainable even through being single and is certainly a lot more acceptable in society.

However this does not mean I can't take the fact it's very easy to fall in love or get carried away in the moment and you certainly can't help your feelings, but I'll be dammed if I can't guide them to how I want my life to lead.

I really like to just take everybody else's story on board as I'm a thinker rather than a do'er kind of character

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never thought I'd get married. I was always opposed to it because I'm not religious and I never saw the need in someone else validating my relationship.

Then I grew up and realized that there are legal benefits to being married (intestacy laws, just to name an important one) and in the US you get a tax break for being married. So I have my relationship and I formalized it legally by getting married. I see my relationship as separate, emotionally, from my marriage.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Some people commented that arrange marriages have lower divorce rates because of societal factors.

I also sincerely doubt the majority of western people can even tell the difference between love, lust or infatuation.

Yes, I think arranged marriages can work because there is total commitment - everything else follows from that, and I think that's what western marriages often lack.

Yes, but from my perspective, if two people are totally committed then you find a place of agreement on any issue, every issue - you just don't stop until you arrive at one, you discuss, negotiate, agree, and commit to the solution!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

No, but I think your future happiness might be at stake if you did...

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Me and the Missus are both married (too each other)... For me, it is a MASSIVE sign of commitment. Once you've signed on that line, there's easy end to it. You can't just say "it's not for me" and toddle off to find someone else... it takes time, effort and money to get divorced. Plus there is most definitely a much better party when you get married than when you get divorced... and more presents too.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

No, but I think your future happiness might be at stake if you did..."

How so? If she knew I'm only marrying her to make her happy, why would that be negative for the relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been married for 14 years my collar means more to me than any wedding band, to us it means legaly married in eyes of the law, my collar means I'm committed and owned by my Dom

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Some people commented that arrange marriages have lower divorce rates because of societal factors.

I also sincerely doubt the majority of western people can even tell the difference between love, lust or infatuation.

Yes, I think arranged marriages can work because there is total commitment - everything else follows from that, and I think that's what western marriages often lack.

I don't agree to be honest. We all have fundamental values and red lines that cannot be crossed, marrying someone who has conflicting values is just a recipe for divorce. The colour of wall paper can be negotiated, the type of education you want for your children cannot.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Was 12 weeks away from signing on the line. Bottled it.

Would I in the future? Who knows. I mean, he's asked everyone except me

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By *uperunknown1Man
over a year ago

Chichester

I've been married, for me it was to show my love for that person and too prove my commitment too them. I took it seriously and meant every single word I said in my oath to that person. She! on the other hand decided to shat on me from a great height and cheated on me. Weeks after we got married! I'm not bitter though. BITCH!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

Hhhmmmm I keep going back to think about this and in truth I dont know. Im indifferent to getting married again but if I was asked and i felt it was right Id agree. So kinda the same. Id be doing it for them.

Would it change the way you viewed your relationship once you were married?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to get married but then I've also wanted a boyfriend for 8 years and haven't found one!

I'd have a good wedding as well, food would be immense and the track listing for the party.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Some people commented that arrange marriages have lower divorce rates because of societal factors.

I also sincerely doubt the majority of western people can even tell the difference between love, lust or infatuation.

Yes, I think arranged marriages can work because there is total commitment - everything else follows from that, and I think that's what western marriages often lack.

We will have to agree to differ - I'm more open to persuasion maybe. But I also think commitment is more important and can supercede almost all expectations. When I married I had few - and I was very willing to develop them together because I was totally committed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

No, but I think your future happiness might be at stake if you did...

How so? If she knew I'm only marrying her to make her happy, why would that be negative for the relationship?"

Marriage is a big deal. Committing to someone in that way when it's not necessarily something you want can sometimes end in resentment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been married, for me it was to show my love for that person and too prove my commitment too them. I took it seriously and meant every single word I said in my oath to that person. She! on the other hand decided to shat on me from a great height and cheated on me. Weeks after we got married! I'm not bitter though. BITCH! "

That's bloody awful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

No, but I think your future happiness might be at stake if you did...

How so? If she knew I'm only marrying her to make her happy, why would that be negative for the relationship?"

Isn't marriage a step the couple decide to take together? So if one is doing it to make the other happy I would say that's a negative starting point.

I'd rather not go through the act of getting married if I knew my future husband was only doing it to appease me.

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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Someone didn't get the chance to post on the last thread so asked me to do a second.

Its been really good seeing the different views x

If youre married why did you get married? Or if youre engaged why are you going to?

If youre divorced why is that?

If you'll never marry what has made you decide that and is there a chance it might change?

And if youre just waiting for the one what do you hope marriage will bring?"

I'm waiting for the one. I hope it brings happiness to us both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?"

No it means you love them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After giving it a thought I would marry someone just to make them happy but the act itself wouldn't mean anything to me.

Would that make me a horrible person?

No, but I think your future happiness might be at stake if you did...

How so? If she knew I'm only marrying her to make her happy, why would that be negative for the relationship?

Isn't marriage a step the couple decide to take together? So if one is doing it to make the other happy I would say that's a negative starting point.

I'd rather not go through the act of getting married if I knew my future husband was only doing it to appease me.

Yes the decision is taken together but that doesn't mean it means the same to both parties. It also doesn't mean the indifferent party is any less committed to their partner, just that the marriage status is not important to them. Plenty of deeply devoted couples don't get married.

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