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Ptsd

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello and good morning to all

I am a single guy who happens to have PTSD and anxiety issues. My question really is how do other people get on in a similar position, how do guys and girls actually hook up? I would of thought that a high proportion of folk on here struggle in longer term commitments and that's why they might be here, but also there is surely a percentage of people on here with anxiety issues who cannot do the full social thing

Any feedback is appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello and good morning to all

I am a single guy who happens to have PTSD and anxiety issues. My question really is how do other people get on in a similar position, how do guys and girls actually hook up? I would of thought that a high proportion of folk on here struggle in longer term commitments and that's why they might be here, but also there is surely a percentage of people on here with anxiety issues who cannot do the full social thing

Any feedback is appreciated "

I guess it depends on what triggers the anxiety. If you have a general anxiety disorder, have you seen a GP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi there

Thanks for contributing

I have PTSD which does include high levels of anxiety in social situations, it is often triggered by large numbers and feeling trapped. I have seen many gp's and psychs. Just wondered how other folk manage to overcome their anxiety in order to hook up. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi there

Thanks for contributing

I have PTSD which does include high levels of anxiety in social situations, it is often triggered by large numbers and feeling trapped. I have seen many gp's and psychs. Just wondered how other folk manage to overcome their anxiety in order to hook up. x"

Although I'd advocate meeting in public, for safety, perhaps you'd be better having a one to one in your home ie comfort zone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think a social meet is really sensible.

I suppose my original question should of been, how do you attract folk when you have this long term anxiety issue ... I am saying to myself I can only attract other anxious people, but I don't know if that is true really. I guess my self esteem is quite low too.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There is improving PTSD therapy, following the volume of military personnel who have suffered. I'd recommend seeing a therapist, who would also help you with your anxiety and self-esteem issues.

Do you know what caused your PTSD op? It may be very personal, so don't feel pressure to share it.

As for casual sex - many just don't want a relationship but like nsa fun instead, rather than having it because relationships are problematic. There are others who are in good open relationships and have extra partners. It's a mixed bag here and there will be some who struggle with relationships. As there are with people who have PTSD, some of whom have posted in the forum about it before.

Aim to choose quieter places and times to meet others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi Sophie

Thanks for your input

I have c/ptsd and I know the cause. It is tough attracting people especially when you feel you can't compete because do disability ... get the violins out

I am due therapy now, been waiting years, not heard anything from them though. I suppose the low self esteem influences the outcome of meets.

Yours is an intelligent input

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man is trapped in a deep hole. He tries and tries to scramble out but just cannot reach the top. A nurse jumps in , gives him some advice then climbs out. He tries to climb out but again he cannot. A doctor then jumps in the hole , gives him advice and some medication then climbs out. The man tries again but fails. Then a councillor jumps in the hole. Talks to him , gives him advice them climbs out the hole. The man struggles to get out but he fails again. He then curls up in a ball thinking he will never get out. Then somebody jumps in the hole who also suffers from ptsd. Looks at the man and says to him. " Hey it's ok , I was stuck in this hole oncd. It's ok climb on my back and I'll carry you out".

Find a support group.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/07/17 08:52:54]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am listening ... thank you for your input

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Hi Sophie

Thanks for your input

I have c/ptsd and I know the cause. It is tough attracting people especially when you feel you can't compete because do disability ... get the violins out

I am due therapy now, been waiting years, not heard anything from them though. I suppose the low self esteem influences the outcome of meets.

Yours is an intelligent input "

Thanks

I think it's important to take as much pressure off from yourself as possible, so that you are as near relaxed as you can be at all times. Find your personal stressers, minimising them in your life. Keeping the background alertness levels lower will help you contend with more that comes your way randomly.

Seek out people who are decent, stable and undemanding, who will help you regain your strength.

Keep your focus on your positives, so that you don't rock your foundations too.

Close slowly through life, as a pressured plan to move quickly often can achieve the opposite. There's no race nor prizes for doing things that are chaotic and complicated.

Every small step is an extra addition to your well being, at a time when sky diving is unadvisable due to the climate

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks again Sophie

It kinda begs the question, can you feel unwell with this crap, but still manage to attract people and have fun with them too .. because I still don't know anyone who has achieved this, I am sure there will be some.

Have you got or had ptsd ... just that you have a lot of good suggestions that make sense and I thought you may of been talking from personal experience.

I think you are right about focusing on positives, yet often I have to remind myself of this

I have attempted lifestyle changes that included Buddhism and meditations to Help me focus and they were of great benefit at the time.

Thank you again ... you are really good x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Thanks again Sophie

It kinda begs the question, can you feel unwell with this crap, but still manage to attract people and have fun with them too .. because I still don't know anyone who has achieved this, I am sure there will be some.

Have you got or had ptsd ... just that you have a lot of good suggestions that make sense and I thought you may of been talking from personal experience.

I think you are right about focusing on positives, yet often I have to remind myself of this

I have attempted lifestyle changes that included Buddhism and meditations to Help me focus and they were of great benefit at the time.

Thank you again ... you are really good x"

Thanks. Short answer - yes, your desires are possible. My caveat that springs to my mind on this is that your wellbeing, recovery and longer term health would preferably not be harmed by how you pursue things. If you can work out how this may be possible for you, then I'd go for it.

I can speak by private message if you'd like

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You are very knowledgeable Sophie and I don't know if you have learnt change through personal experiences, it does sound that way. I have sent you a private message ... you're a star

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