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family values

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

i think i'm very lucky to come from a family that is accepting of the fact that times are changing and that relationships / marriage / family intergration are vastly different now than they have been in the past.

my family are accepting of the fact that i swing both ways and the fact that i am in an 'open' relationship.

they are also fine with the fact that my niece has recently converted to islam to 'be with' the man she loves.

they take the view that 'you're an adult, you make your own choices in life & as long as you are happy and no one is hurt, then get on with it'

on the other hand, i know a number of bi / gay guys who are estranged from their families because the families refuse to accept their sexuality and won't have anything to do with them.

so, have you discussed your 'lifestyle / sexuality' choices with your wider family ?

if so, have they been accepting of it ?,

acted irrationally but then came round to the idea ?, or

know about it but it isn't accepted and is 'never mentioned' ?, or

just a plain out and out refusal to accept it and no longer wish to be involved with you ?

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By *atureFem4FunWoman
over a year ago

Petts Wood

Personally I see no reason to discuss my sex life with my family, I just don't see what people think they have to gain by discussing such personal matters with family members.

Just my thoughts

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Personally I see no reason to discuss my sex life with my family, I just don't see what people think they have to gain by discussing such personal matters with family members.

Just my thoughts"

i agree, why on earth wud i talk about my sex life with my parents .i am an adult, they treat me as one,which includes giving me the same privacy as anyone else had.

If i was nilla i wud not tell them me and kev had a nice shag yesterday wud i?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We don't discuss our sex life with anyone, so our families wouldn't need to know either.

I know lots of people do tell their families and that is up to them, but I think for us our sex life should be private, whatever you are doing in it and who with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeh but ur fam would notice you in a same sex relationship so im guessing ur bisexuality would have to be mentioned at some point

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

i think to a certain degree, the intention of this thread has been misinterpreted.

i do not discuss the exact details of my sex life with my family, but they do know about my sexual choices.

i think it's important that they know that - and moreover that it has come from me, rather than them finding out via other means.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"yeh but ur fam would notice you in a same sex relationship so im guessing ur bisexuality would have to be mentioned at some point "

where did you read my relationship was 'same sex' ?

i don't think my mrs would be happy to hear that

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To be honest I did read it, and think exactly the same. Anything to do with our sex lives is our business.

IF we were bi, that would be our business too and not something I felt the need to share with anyone other than the people we would be playing with.

So back to what I said in the first post, no, no one or family need know what happens in our sex life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be honest I did read it, and think exactly the same. Anything to do with our sex lives is our business.

IF we were bi, that would be our business too and not something I felt the need to share with anyone other than the people we would be playing with.

So back to what I said in the first post, no, no one or family need know what happens in our sex life. "

i think the fact you are straight and in an established might have a bearing on that viewpoint.

i got fed up of making excuses about where i'd been, who i'd been with, what i'd done at weekend etc - it just became too much hassle to keep covering my tracks and making stories up that i thought wouldn't 'trouble' them.

funnily enough, since i told em i swung both ways, the questions have stopped

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be honest I did read it, and think exactly the same. Anything to do with our sex lives is our business.

IF we were bi, that would be our business too and not something I felt the need to share with anyone other than the people we would be playing with.

So back to what I said in the first post, no, no one or family need know what happens in our sex life.

i think the fact you are straight and in an established might have a bearing on that viewpoint.

i got fed up of making excuses about where i'd been, who i'd been with, what i'd done at weekend etc - it just became too much hassle to keep covering my tracks and making stories up that i thought wouldn't 'trouble' them.

funnily enough, since i told em i swung both ways, the questions have stopped "

i think the other thing is, we are quite a small close knit family and see each other 2/3 times a week at least.

if i only saw relatives once in a while, the temptation i think would be to keep it under wraps

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We don't make excuses of where we have been or who with, if we get asked anything what we have been up to that weekend we just answer as if it is a social meet with a friend/ friends.

I don't know what the difference is to being straight or bi and playing this way though, it would still be us telling what little information we needed to to stay private.

I am struggling to see why you would think general questions to you about what you had been doing in your spare time means you needed to tell them your sexuality , but if it suits you, thats fine

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By * times sexyCouple
over a year ago

Staffs

Have you noticed that 99% of women on Fabs are Bi/Bi Curious ?? and that 0.0000001% of men are bi or even been within ten feet of a man lol The fact is that 1 in 10 of BOTH sexes have same sex feelings . Fact.

If you go to the Greenhouse Gay Bi sauna in darlaston (sister club to chameleons) any afterternoon yo will find half of chams in there and the other half will probably be a man you know who goes there for a quick afternoon session of man o man action.

Fancy a bum anyone lol

Ok the games up come out with your trousers on and your hands where i can see them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am struggling to see why you would think general questions to you about what you had been doing in your spare time means you needed to tell them your sexuality , but if it suits you, thats fine "

For the reasons above - it became tiresome not to tell them.

And I guess because the questions have now stopped, they have either confirmed their suspicions or were shocked into submission and now are scared to ask

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The fact is that 1 in 10 of BOTH sexes have same sex feelings . Fact.

"

I thought it was 1 in 5 ?

Fkin 'ell my already diminished chances have just been halved again

Not Happy !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my family were so "close knit"/interfering (delete as per your interpretation) that as a 41 year old man I had to tell them about my sex life to stop their constant questioning, I'll be honest I would have told them to back off a longtime ago!

Mind you as my family donlt even know where i live I'm possibly not the best person to comment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I see no reason to discuss my sex life with my family, I just don't see what people think they have to gain by discussing such personal matters with family members.

Just my thoughts"

Agreed. My sexuality is my business and as I am married to a woman my parents do not ever need to know that I swing both ways.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If my family were so "close knit"/interfering (delete as per your interpretation) that as a 41 year old man I had to tell them about my sex life to stop their constant questioning, I'll be honest I would have told them to back off a longtime ago!

Mind you as my family donlt even know where i live I'm possibly not the best person to comment!"

i did - they have known over 10 years

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By * times sexyCouple
over a year ago

Staffs


"The fact is that 1 in 10 of BOTH sexes have same sex feelings . Fact.

I thought it was 1 in 5 ?

Fkin 'ell my already diminished chances have just been halved again

Not Happy ! "

Im giving you a 50% discont or buy one get one free , i said buy one get one free lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my personal life online i consider to be my buisiness only,and would never never reveal to anyone...descretion is paramount to me...and always will be..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are some situations where things can just come to light like when my step father was using our puter to look at something and the history was open and when he finished he just left the cursor over the fabswingers bit in the history looked at me and said "i won't open it and embarress you"

i just did a nervous giggle and my mum told him to stop being so nosey

now luckily in all honesty i know i could of told them we are swingers and bi and not been judged for it they are both very accepting of other peoples lifestyles whatever they may be, but i choose not to discuss it with them as i just don't wish to as its our private life just as i wouldn't expect our sons to discuss theirs with us but they do know we are willing to listen without judgement any time they feel the need

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have nothing to hide and no reason to feel guilty of anything. My family are aware im on a site like this.

When i told my mum was kinda a relief to be honest, i don't like deceiving people.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

What we do in our sex life is nobody elses business. Agree with rugby on this. Difficult sometimes but its our decision.

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

excuse my ignorance here.. could it be an age and different generation gap kinda thing? Times have changed and men and women are more open with their sexuality

could it be they wouldn't accept it?

naturally it could just be that the majority are genuinely private people of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i reckon some would have to keep it to themselves after reading what they get upto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just enjoy our times together and have fun, no questions asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my niece has recently converted to islam to 'be with' the man she loves"

ohboy.jpg

Yes, I do think that's incredibly stupid. I was brought up in a cult and Islam reminds of that closeted experience frequently. She has NO idea what she's getting into.

For everything, there is a price to pay, and for her, it will be expensive.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"excuse my ignorance here.. could it be an age and different generation gap kinda thing? Times have changed and men and women are more open with their sexuality

could it be they wouldn't accept it?

naturally it could just be that the majority are genuinely private people of course. "

Not for me no, I just don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people. I am not sure why it needs analyzing to anything other than...I don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I am struggling to see why you would think general questions to you about what you had been doing in your spare time means you needed to tell them your sexuality , but if it suits you, thats fine

For the reasons above - it became tiresome not to tell them.

And I guess because the questions have now stopped, they have either confirmed their suspicions or were shocked into submission and now are scared to ask "

Ah you see I didn't want to mention that before, but it was what I was thinking....they may have stopped asking questions as they may not want to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The fact is that 1 in 10 of BOTH sexes have same sex feelings . Fact.

I thought it was 1 in 5 ?

Fkin 'ell my already diminished chances have just been halved again

Not Happy ! "

Stat wise that's still over six hundred million possible fucks. No sympathy for ya!

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By *atureFem4FunWoman
over a year ago

Petts Wood


"i have nothing to hide and no reason to feel guilty of anything. My family are aware im on a site like this.

When i told my mum was kinda a relief to be honest, i don't like deceiving people."

You are not 'Deceiving' anybody by keeping your private life private...

In life you don't have to answer to your parents once you reach the age of consent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"excuse my ignorance here.. could it be an age and different generation gap kinda thing? Times have changed and men and women are more open with their sexuality

could it be they wouldn't accept it?

naturally it could just be that the majority are genuinely private people of course. "

I do think it's easier to talk sex & sexuality these days and like you sassy, even tho I was as nervous as hell doing it, the reality was far worse than the thoughts of what might happen.

BUT it isn't like that for everyone and as I said, I know some people who have estranged family lives because of their 'choices' (even tho I don't believe sexuality per se is a choice)

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By * times sexyCouple
over a year ago

Staffs

I remember when my best friend told me he was gay. i couldnt understand at first...

But then he took my cock out of his mouth and i could hear what he was saying boom boom

IM JOKING lol xx

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By *atureFem4FunWoman
over a year ago

Petts Wood


"my niece has recently converted to islam to 'be with' the man she loves

ohboy.jpg

Yes, I do think that's incredibly stupid. I was brought up in a cult and Islam reminds of that closeted experience frequently. She has NO idea what she's getting into.

For everything, there is a price to pay, and for her, it will be expensive."

What a load of codswallop!....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/11 13:40:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my niece has recently converted to islam to 'be with' the man she loves

ohboy.jpg

Yes, I do think that's incredibly stupid. I was brought up in a cult and Islam reminds of that closeted experience frequently. She has NO idea what she's getting into.

For everything, there is a price to pay, and for her, it will be expensive."

wonder what she thinks (is allowed to think?) of an open, swinging-both-ways relationship?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am struggling to see why you would think general questions to you about what you had been doing in your spare time means you needed to tell them your sexuality , but if it suits you, thats fine

For the reasons above - it became tiresome not to tell them.

And I guess because the questions have now stopped, they have either confirmed their suspicions or were shocked into submission and now are scared to ask

Ah you see I didn't want to mention that before, but it was what I was thinking....they may have stopped asking questions as they may not want to know."

But they did want to know either way before I told them.

I am not jesting when I say if I mentioned a name who they didn't know from my teen / uni friends, I would get :

where do you know him / her from ?

is he / she married ?

how old is he / she ?

So fella's if you have over inquisitive relatives and you want um to shut the fuck up, just tell um you like a bit of cock and see how soon it stops !

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My mother doesnt discuss her sex life with me so why would i her. My son i have given advice to. But i wouldnt want to know the depths of their relationships. Why would that be decieving anyone. My mum knows i have lots of "friends" and my best friend knows that i see guys apart from jay. THats it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"my niece has recently converted to islam to 'be with' the man she loves

ohboy.jpg

Yes, I do think that's incredibly stupid. I was brought up in a cult and Islam reminds of that closeted experience frequently. She has NO idea what she's getting into.

For everything, there is a price to pay, and for her, it will be expensive.

wonder what she thinks (is allowed to think?) of an open, swinging-both-ways relationship?

"

that's quite an interesting one

i'll keep my eye on that !

she has only converted in the last couple of months

she has never had an issue before, let's see if it alters over time

she's 23 now so has got to make her own choices in life

now ya see if i were to convert i'd have done it after ramadan

no cock AND no eating in daylight hours, sorry that's just an impossibility

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sounds to me like you have very nosey relatives who want to know the ins and outs of a cats arse.

Our relatives are not like that ( and we see them often ) and we are not like that with them....but if they where like that, I wouldn't feel the need to tell them anything that I didn't think was their business, and that includes what we get up to socially/ sexually/ finacially.

You obviously think differently and wanted to share, it must work for you

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By *atureFem4FunWoman
over a year ago

Petts Wood


"Sounds to me like you have very nosey relatives who want to know the ins and outs of a cats arse.

"

That made me laugh out loud....haven't heard that term for years!

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My life is my business. My family only know what they feel comfortable knowing..they're not really interested so I will not mess with their heads by being 'open' with them......but each to their own

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds to me like you have very nosey relatives who want to know the ins and outs of a cats arse.

"

Ha - that made me laugh

Am sure they'd see it differently but that's about the strength of it.

But I can't be the only person in here that has come up against such scrutiny ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey....

discuss my sexlife with my parents...nooooooooo way....they would have been mortified..

They were the type that NEVER discussed things LIKE THAT .

I remember my first trip abroad on a plane and my old mom never slept properly till i was back. Why not go to wales she say

My sex life is my affair and the guy im seeing, no one elses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds to me like you have very nosey relatives who want to know the ins and outs of a cats arse.

Ha - that made me laugh

Am sure they'd see it differently but that's about the strength of it.

maybe they are not scrutinising you but are just open minded and interested in stuff?

But I can't be the only person in here that has come up against such scrutiny ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oops ... maybe they are not scrutinising you but are just open minded and interested in stuff?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"oops ... maybe they are not scrutinising you but are just open minded and interested in stuff? "

maybe - i think in mums case it's just noseyness tho

it's worth telling her though just to see how it is interpreted to the other folks

for example :

i went on holiday to puerto banus, mum told people i had gone to buenos aires !

i told mum a flat had come up for sale in the converted barn i used to live in and it was cheaper than i thought they'd be these days, next thing sister on phone 'mum says you're thinking of moving ?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

methinks mam needs a hobby.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids know and some of their friends, my brother knows but my parents do not as we are not close and I didn't feel that it was any of their business.

But no-one knows I swing

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

I ( Scarlett) have no wish to tell the folks. No they wouldn't mind I have very liberal minded parents but it's not their business to know. If it came out I wouldn't be bothered though.

As for my bi side. I class myself as bi because I lurrrvvvveeee playing with the ladies but have no desire to ever have a relationship with one so I wont ever have to explain that side unless I choose to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in my mid twenties i came out to my mum. that was only because my g/f was living with me two streets away and my brother lived on same (very small) street as me. although my mum said she was happy as long as i was, i knew she was ashamed. we moved away. a few years later when i was sharing the flat where i live now with two gay men, my mum told my aunt i was 'living with' a lad! since then i have kept my relationships private both male and female and my parents dont care to ask.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"excuse my ignorance here.. could it be an age and different generation gap kinda thing? Times have changed and men and women are more open with their sexuality

could it be they wouldn't accept it?

naturally it could just be that the majority are genuinely private people of course.

Not for me no, I just don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people. I am not sure why it needs analyzing to anything other than...I don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people."

My view excatly, my parents know i am bi,since i came out at 16, what they think about it now i dont know,and frankly the idea of saying hey mum i fucked a fit woman lasy night is

What i do and who with is my buisness,no one elses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"excuse my ignorance here.. could it be an age and different generation gap kinda thing? Times have changed and men and women are more open with their sexuality

could it be they wouldn't accept it?

naturally it could just be that the majority are genuinely private people of course.

Not for me no, I just don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people. I am not sure why it needs analyzing to anything other than...I don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people.

My view excatly, my parents know i am bi,since i came out at 16, what they think about it now i dont know,and frankly the idea of saying hey mum i fucked a fit woman lasy night is

What i do and who with is my buisness,no one elses "

No offence but...

"hey mum i fucked a fit woman lasy night"

Sounds awesome to us guys

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"excuse my ignorance here.. could it be an age and different generation gap kinda thing? Times have changed and men and women are more open with their sexuality

could it be they wouldn't accept it?

naturally it could just be that the majority are genuinely private people of course.

Not for me no, I just don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people. I am not sure why it needs analyzing to anything other than...I don't want to discuss any aspect of my sex life with other people.

My view excatly, my parents know i am bi,since i came out at 16, what they think about it now i dont know,and frankly the idea of saying hey mum i fucked a fit woman lasy night is

What i do and who with is my buisness,no one elses

No offence but...

"hey mum i fucked a fit woman lasy night"

Sounds awesome to us guys "

Are u saying my mums a bloke!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont think the OP was on about telling parents/ loved ones intimate details about who with and when,, but just informed them of a lifestyle choice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i dont think the OP was on about telling parents/ loved ones intimate details about who with and when,, but just informed them of a lifestyle choice

"

glad to see someone has eventually got the drift

thanks sassy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was brought up quite strictly by my parents and sex was not discussed at all. I am more open with my own children, but sex has always been discussed in a very factual text book way. I would never use words like cum, spunk, cock, pussy, to my children.

If I have to speak about sex its never personal. I dont speak about my sex life to anyone other than this forum. I may joke with my friends about certain things but I would never say, hey ive participated in this, and that, and hes done that to me etc. So therefore I would never discuss my sex life with the wider family.

But its great if folks have the ability to discuss with families etc. I dont agree with talking about things too intimately. I cringe and am judgemental when I see threads or discussions about mothers / daughters going to swinging clubs together or discussing swinging in personal terms with children. I think its wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i dont think the OP was on about telling parents/ loved ones intimate details about who with and when,, but just informed them of a lifestyle choice

glad to see someone has eventually got the drift

thanks sassy x"

ahem excuse me i got it too ya know tut

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was brought up quite strictly by my parents and sex was not discussed at all. I am more open with my own children, but sex has always been discussed in a very factual text book way. I would never use words like cum, spunk, cock, pussy, to my children.

"

iconic - on ur bike you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"i dont think the OP was on about telling parents/ loved ones intimate details about who with and when,, but just informed them of a lifestyle choice

glad to see someone has eventually got the drift

thanks sassy x"

I think we all got it,we know you are not talking about a blow by blow account of how many orgasms you have had with someone.... but most of us don't discuss WHO we have sex with so wouldn't feel the need to go and announce it to immediate family/ friends / neighbours/ countrymen etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i dont think the OP was on about telling parents/ loved ones intimate details about who with and when,, but just informed them of a lifestyle choice

glad to see someone has eventually got the drift

thanks sassy x

ahem excuse me i got it too ya know tut "

u did

apologies x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i dont think the OP was on about telling parents/ loved ones intimate details about who with and when,, but just informed them of a lifestyle choice

glad to see someone has eventually got the drift

thanks sassy x

ahem excuse me i got it too ya know tut

u did

apologies x "

should think so too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i dont think the OP was on about telling parents/ loved ones intimate details about who with and when,, but just informed them of a lifestyle choice

glad to see someone has eventually got the drift

thanks sassy x

I think we all got it,we know you are not talking about a blow by blow account of how many orgasms you have had with someone.... but most of us don't discuss WHO we have sex with so wouldn't feel the need to go and announce it to immediate family/ friends / neighbours/ countrymen etc etc."

neither did i

i am the prodigal son after all - i have an image to maintain

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