FabSwingers.com forum: Do you live by your name

By *adyLucknGamblers OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich / Colchester

THE MEANING OF BOYS NAMES!

Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.

Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.

Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.

Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.

Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.

Amir - Dirty, Smelly, Pecker is minuscule.

Andy - boring and has a small pecker.

Andrew - gay and still has a small pecker.

Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.

Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of .

Arnold - loser.

Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.

Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung.

Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.

Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.

Bradley - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.

Brandon - good looking but uses girls.

Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.

Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.

Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just a naughty boy.

Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.

Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.

Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.

Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.

Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.

Cameron - wanker of the first order

Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.

Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.

Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies no real person has that name.

Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.

Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.

Christian - very sexy and seductive (think 'Legends of the Fall').

Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.

Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.

Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.

Con - lies to women and blows up public buildings.

Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.

Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.

Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.

Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.

Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.

Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.

Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.

Darryl - Hung like a pit pony, can suck a golf ball through a hosepipe and breathe through his lugs : )

David - total flirt, good heart, funny and well loved......

Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter - i.e. a wanker.

Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.

Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.

Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.

Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.

Don - dickhead.

Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.

Drew - bad-arse losers who never shuts up.

Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.

Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.

Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.

Emrys - Load mouth gob shite.

Elliott - Full of himself

Eric - shy.

Erik - funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.

Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.

Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.

Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.

Gary - drug addict but willing to share.

Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.

Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.

George - barman who drinks more than he serves.

Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth

Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex

Graham - will screw anything

Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.

Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.

Guy - Covers his back, has a small dick.

Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.

Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young girls.

Haydn - tries hard.

Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn't everybody!).

Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him

Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when d*unk.

Jamie - Scum of the Earth.

James - built like a horse.

Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.

Jason - Total cock whore

Jeff - really ugly.

Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.

Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.

Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.

Jack - stupid but hot. Always alright.

Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.

Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.

Joel - arse.

John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.

Jonathon - think he's good - he's shit.

Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.

Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.

Josh - full of himself, fun.

Junior - hotty and totally good at football.

Justin - aggravating, insecure & jealous.

Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.

Kevin - Always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis, really nice to women.

Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.

Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.

Kim - very understanding and caring, feels lost in Korea.

Kurt - can kick anyone's arse, likes small boys.

Ky - see Kain.

Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.

Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.

Laurey - short and funny looking.

Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.

Les - calm, calculating, intelligent, sexy.

Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.

Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.

Liam - loud mouthed arsehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.

Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.

Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.

Luke - seems to be sweet - Luke Solomons exactly!

Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.

Marc - Fantasises about pretty lights, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke - Tries to tell everyone

Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is, not his great looks, mouthy bastard though.

Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl, which is totally sweet.

Mick - always d*unk, tendency for drug abuse.

Mitchell - the ugliest dog and he don't get any.

Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.

Nick - HORNY! but really nice - can't get past the missionary position though.

Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.

Noel - an absolute diamond, sexy, funny and faultless....apart from when it comes to sorting out contents insurance for his home

Oliver - likes men but is in denial.

Oscar - loser, a good name for a dog.

Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.

Patrick - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in pricks.

Paul - d*unk, d*unk, d*unk.

Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.

Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.

Rashpal - C@@t

Reagen - ...strange.

Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long,long time ago.

Richard - cant see his feet balls are to big

Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.

Rikki - see above.

Rob - constantly watches porn.

Roy - total loser and computer genius.

Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.

Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.

Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.

Sam - wannabe sex machine.

Scott - has serious disabilities.

Sean - has small testicles and no friends.

Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.

Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.

Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.

Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.

Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.

Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.

Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.

Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.

Toby - best blow ever.

Tom - cool but can be arrogant.

Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.

Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.

Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.

Troy - cute and popular.

Taylor - gay.

Warren - cool, homosexual guy.

Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.

William - wishes he were popular but is ultimately a c@@t.

Zach - sweet and polite and adorable

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By *adyLucknGamblers OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich / Colchester

Heres the Girls

GIRLS' NAMES:

Ada - Blue haired, smells of wee.

Aileen - laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs

Alison - Bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.

Amanda - I.Q. tends to be smaller than bra size. A good shag though.

Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted.

Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.

Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually foun hanging around toilets.

Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.

Annette - She's BIG.

Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.

Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.

Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.

Beryl - Repressed alcoholic.

Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.

Bianca - Ginger.

Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.

Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.

Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.

Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.

Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears.

Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.

Claire - Usually neurotic, gives good head, can have lesbian tendencies.

Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.

Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.

Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.

Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.

Daisy - Virgin.

Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.

Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.

Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.

Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.

Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.

Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.

Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.

Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee.

Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths.

Elizabeth - Born to rock, hates chickens.

Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth

Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.

Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!

Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.

Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.

Faith - Legs met at knees, can't shag standing up.

Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.

Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts.

Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head.

Francine - French.

Gabrielle - French too.

Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.

Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.

Gaynor - Lesbian.

Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.

Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.

Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.

Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.

Georgina - Wants to be a man.

Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.

Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.

Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.

Helen - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.

Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.

Hilary - Frigid.

Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.

Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.

Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.

Isabelle - necessary on a bicycle?

Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child.

Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.

Jane - Babe, I'd drink her bath water.

Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.

Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.

Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.

Jessica - Virgin, always will be.

Joanne - Moans in her sleep, can't cook, moans when she wakes up

Jordan - Ha ha ha ha ha - nuff said.

Judith - Big eyes, big tits

Judy - Huge tits, married to an arse.

Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes

Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.

Julie - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.

Karen - Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.

Kate - see Catherine.

Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.

Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke, wears a wig.

Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.

Kylie - Trendy sex kitten that all the lads wanna shag (and probably have)

Kym - Illiterate parents - see Kim

Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.

Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.

Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive.

Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.

Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.

Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.

Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.

Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole.

Lindsey - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.

Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.

Liz - Long legged and brainey.

Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet jellybabies

Louise/a - Phwoooorrrrrrrrrr, Boing Boing Boing.

Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.

Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.

Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.

Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.

Maria - Bangs like a barn door.

Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.

Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.

Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.

Martina - Ugly lesbian.

Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.

Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.

Mary - had a little lamb.

Maxine - drinks, smokes, swears and farts like a bloke

Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.

Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.

Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.

Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.

Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.

Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.

Marsha - Big butt, small brain.

Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.

Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.

Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.

Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.

Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.

Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.

Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.

Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.

Olga - You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.

Olive - Oily skin, oils up well.

Olivia - Neutron bomb.

Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.

Pat - Butt ugly lesbian.

Paula - Transvestite merchant banker for Basildon.

Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes men to be stiff.

Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.

Petra - Dead dog.

Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.

Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her cheeks.

Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.

Rhonda - Help me, help me.

Rosalind - Whahey, nuff said. Maybe 10 years ago.

Rose - Can be prickly, good head giver

Roseanne - ERRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Rula - She measures up well.

Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up, stand up

Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.

Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.

Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.

Sarah - Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.

Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.

Shania - Often feels like a woman

Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.

Sheila - Very big Down Under

Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Wurly whole, likes bananas.

Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.

Simone - Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.

Sinitta - who?

Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier"

Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.

Stacey -Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.

Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.

Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.

Sue - Always in court

Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave.

Tanya - Hot minx, too short.

Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.

Tiffany - who?

Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.

Tori - Lives under a hedge, can't water ski.

Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear.Loves kittens.

Tracey - Lesbian.

Ulrika - ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka.

Ursula - Likes puppies, in curry.

Vicky- Likes Yoga. And Women.

Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.

Zandra - Strange appearance, eats guinea pigs dipped in chocolate.

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By *adyLucknGamblers OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich / Colchester

Mine correct definitely the bit about giving good head & lesbian tendencies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My name is not on the list but John is the closest to it.

Pretty accurate apart from the no life part

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

my names not on there.

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By *adyLucknGamblers OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich / Colchester

"my names not on there.

Aww boo

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"my names not on there.

Aww boo"

the list was funny anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my names not on there.

nor mine

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By *inxy777Woman
over a year ago

essex

Haha nope I don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't shear

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"my names not on there.

nor mine

yourcomment just made me realise our names are foreign, i'm gonna google the english equivalent of mine.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Mine's half right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. Both of them, even if it's misspelled

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Mine's half right

You can vouch for mine. Paul

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Mine's half right

You can vouch for mine. Paul

needs 'no sense of direction' added

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a labour of love OP!

V happy to live mine and recognised some meets in that list. Thought you were a bit harsh on Andy tho.

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By *ay_yes_to_pinkyWoman
over a year ago

manchester

Right name wrong spelling

1st part hate it 2nd part has been known

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My name is in both lists-the boy version is more me!

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Mine's half right

You can vouch for mine. Paul

needs 'no sense of direction' added

Bietch.... trying to think if you told me yours but apparently I was sat across a table with people I've no idea was there so maybe not going to come to me if you did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My name is in both lists-the boy version is more me!"

Almost pissed myself laughing

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"That's a labour of love OP!

V happy to live mine and recognised some meets in that list. Thought you were a bit harsh on Andy tho.

Pmsl... I went back and looked for meets' names after seeing this... Some completely wrong, some bang on!!

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Mine's half right

You can vouch for mine. Paul

needs 'no sense of direction' added

Bietch.... trying to think if you told me yours but apparently I was sat across a table with people I've no idea was there so maybe not going to come to me if you did

"
Oh I did lol, you reacted as most people do.... 'really??'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My name is in both lists-the boy version is more me!

Almost pissed myself laughing

Its true eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is true

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

mine

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Mine's half right

You can vouch for mine. Paul

needs 'no sense of direction' added

Bietch.... trying to think if you told me yours but apparently I was sat across a table with people I've no idea was there so maybe not going to come to me if you did

Oh I did lol, you reacted as most people do.... 'really??'

Really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Yes I probably do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, in real life I'm definitely not in fantasy land, quite the opposite. It's my alter ego

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definetly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No...I'm not short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well would you believe it , spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heres the Girls

GIRLS' NAMES:

Ada - Blue haired, smells of wee.

Aileen - laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs

Alison - Bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.

Amanda - I.Q. tends to be smaller than bra size. A good shag though.

Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted.

Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.

Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually foun hanging around toilets.

Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.

Annette - She's BIG.

Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.

Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.

Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.

Beryl - Repressed alcoholic.

Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.

Bianca - Ginger.

Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.

Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.

Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.

Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.

Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears.

Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.

Claire - Usually neurotic, gives good head, can have lesbian tendencies.

Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.

Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.

Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.

Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.

Daisy - Virgin.

Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.

Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.

Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.

Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.

Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.

Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.

Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.

Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee.

Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths.

Elizabeth - Born to rock, hates chickens.

Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth

Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.

Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!

Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.

Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.

Faith - Legs met at knees, can't shag standing up.

Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.

Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts.

Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head.

Francine - French.

Gabrielle - French too.

Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.

Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.

Gaynor - Lesbian.

Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.

Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.

Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.

Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.

Georgina - Wants to be a man.

Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.

Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.

Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.

Helen - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.

Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.

Hilary - Frigid.

Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.

Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.

Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.

Isabelle - necessary on a bicycle?

Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child.

Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.

Jane - Babe, I'd drink her bath water.

Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.

Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.

Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.

Jessica - Virgin, always will be.

Joanne - Moans in her sleep, can't cook, moans when she wakes up

Jordan - Ha ha ha ha ha - nuff said.

Judith - Big eyes, big tits

Judy - Huge tits, married to an arse.

Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes

Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.

Julie - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.

Karen - Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.

Kate - see Catherine.

Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.

Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke, wears a wig.

Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.

Kylie - Trendy sex kitten that all the lads wanna shag (and probably have)

Kym - Illiterate parents - see Kim

Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.

Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.

Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive.

Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.

Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.

Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.

Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.

Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole.

Lindsey - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.

Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.

Liz - Long legged and brainey.

Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet jellybabies

Louise/a - Phwoooorrrrrrrrrr, Boing Boing Boing.

Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.

Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.

Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.

Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.

Maria - Bangs like a barn door.

Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.

Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.

Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.

Martina - Ugly lesbian.

Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.

Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.

Mary - had a little lamb.

Maxine - drinks, smokes, swears and farts like a bloke

Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.

Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.

Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.

Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.

Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.

Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.

Marsha - Big butt, small brain.

Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.

Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.

Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.

Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.

Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.

Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.

Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.

Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.

Olga - You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.

Olive - Oily skin, oils up well.

Olivia - Neutron bomb.

Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.

Pat - Butt ugly lesbian.

Paula - Transvestite merchant banker for Basildon.

Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes men to be stiff.

Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.

Petra - Dead dog.

Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.

Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her cheeks.

Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.

Rhonda - Help me, help me.

Rosalind - Whahey, nuff said. Maybe 10 years ago.

Rose - Can be prickly, good head giver

Roseanne - ERRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Rula - She measures up well.

Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up, stand up

Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.

Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.

Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.

Sarah - Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.

Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.

Shania - Often feels like a woman

Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.

Sheila - Very big Down Under

Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Wurly whole, likes bananas.

Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.

Simone - Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.

Sinitta - who?

Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier"

Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.

Stacey -Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.

Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.

Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.

Sue - Always in court

Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave.

Tanya - Hot minx, too short.

Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.

Tiffany - who?

Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.

Tori - Lives under a hedge, can't water ski.

Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear.Loves kittens.

Tracey - Lesbian.

Ulrika - ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka.

Ursula - Likes puppies, in curry.

Vicky- Likes Yoga. And Women.

Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.

Zandra - Strange appearance, eats guinea pigs dipped in chocolate.

I think I love you xxxxxxxxxxxxx"

Don't like the smell of flowers but am known to have a few piercings

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Nick - HORNY! but really nice - can't get past the missionary position though."

Ha ha definitely horny thats for sure and I do can an arsenal of positions ready for action x

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By *aneAndTarzanCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I am truly HORRIFIED how apt this is for many I know!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awesome thread op

Ours are both on your lists. Peach certainly is but not for me and I'm one not the other.

Fuzz

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn't everybody!)."

If you changed small-breasted women to just "women" then this would sum me up perfectly

My real name however couldn't be further from the truth.

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By *U1966Man
over a year ago

Devon

Definitely a true David then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mines a bit harsh, definitely not, where did you copy and paste this from?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Mine isn't on the list

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By *uperunknown1Man
over a year ago

Chichester

Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well. This is what everyone calls me, and I think it's probably true.

Jason - Total cock whore. My actual name and not true at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to think I'm true to mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to think I'm true to mine

I laughed when I read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to think I'm true to mine

I laughed when I read it

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By *eardyBikerMan
over a year ago

nr stonehaven

Nae on list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Georgina,,,,wants to be a man?????

I think not!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do enjoy tea and cake ....but I've only ever sung the national anthem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither my real name or my fab name are there :P

~Mia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Neither my real name or my fab name are there :P

~Mia"

Nope I just picked a random one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha! This list came from someone in the US, didn't it? It seems heavy on American names.

I probably live up to mine, sadly

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Yes and no.

Read into that as you wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is hilarious and no i definitely dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My name means pure

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I am truly HORRIFIED how apt this is for many I know!!!

Mines just slanderous or would be if it wasn't so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine seems to be spot on,though the spelling needs another N

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

David - total flirt, good heart, funny and well loved......

I dunno about the well loved bit though....................!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not at all

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to think mine is incorrect but I guess that would be my opinion. As I'm not gay or happy whichever way you like to use the meaning. The small pecker?!? Now that I cannot judge for myself

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

There's a tiny grain of truth in what my real name apparently means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

i know - i was quite disappointed

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

i know - i was quite disappointed "

I could make you 1 up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

i know - i was quite disappointed

I could make you 1 up

go on then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women."

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Paul... Yep, that seems to be me, now where's the gin?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

A bit harsh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was going to post that this thread was puerile b*****ks but instead, since my name matches me perfectly, I think is brilliantly insightful.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"Yes. Yes I probably do. "

Yours cracked me up... All I could think was, No, Yes, Maybe

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

i know - i was quite disappointed

I could make you 1 up

go on then "

@#%@ always happy. Most likely found in the Centre of a crowd handing out smiles to these without 1 or there own...

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Paul... Yep, that seems to be me, now where's the gin?"

Must be true that's 2 of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

i know - i was quite disappointed

I could make you 1 up

go on then

@#%@ always happy. Most likely found in the Centre of a crowd handing out smiles to these without 1 or there own..."

awwwwwww is that how i come across - that's lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hung and belly button fluff are spot on

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

i know - i was quite disappointed

I could make you 1 up

go on then

@#%@ always happy. Most likely found in the Centre of a crowd handing out smiles to these without 1 or there own...

awwwwwww is that how i come across - that's lovely

In some the good shines and well I'm guessing you know me well enough to know I don't bullshit or kiss arse I say as I find. And before any smart arse says it your a mate not a meet

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

So apparantly I'm a heroin addict and sold my child

What a load of shite

Pmsl

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"So apparantly I'm a heroin addict and sold my child

What a load of shite

Pmsl"

Hahaha so wonna know your name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am one

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Fab name no

Real name yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope! Neither birth name nor fab name match up to that.

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By *adyLucknGamblers OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich / Colchester

A bit of happy bantering fun - thanks sexy fabbers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not at all

Ohhh runs to go look

Awww was hoping for so much more

i know - i was quite disappointed

I could make you 1 up

go on then

@#%@ always happy. Most likely found in the Centre of a crowd handing out smiles to these without 1 or there own...

awwwwwww is that how i come across - that's lovely

In some the good shines and well I'm guessing you know me well enough to know I don't bullshit or kiss arse I say as I find. And before any smart arse says it your a mate not a meet

no bullshit bladey - new name haha - x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My name isn't listed.

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By *eather_Loves_SexWoman
over a year ago

Halfway Between London and Brighton

Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.

Well I'm not sure what the first means so maybe? And the second I can be noisy but not really screaming

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

My name isn't listed.

However, Mr B would say his name is accurate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't play in the leaves and not an arsehole!!

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Well i can see my feet so my plums can't be that big after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

According to this, no. It's way off the mark.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.

Well I'm not sure what the first means so maybe? And the second I can be noisy but not really screaming

That's more like me

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Erm...

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

My name isn't here. Well a shortened sort of version is but... yeah. I shall never know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No for either of us, mr doesn't drink that much and I'm certainly not vain. X

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Oh yes, I certainly do live up to my name.

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