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Ex owes money

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would fuck him

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"i would fuck him"

You're welcome to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i would fuck him

You're welcome to"

as in sell his stuff and fuck him off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless you've got some form of proof of the debt you can take to small claims court theres not much you can do.

Selling his stuff would be a crime so depends how likley you think he is to kick off/report you if you do it

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"i would fuck him

You're welcome to

as in sell his stuff and fuck him off"

Ohh I see. I just don't want to be the bad person, even after everything he's done. I Appreciate your advice 100% thank you

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Unless you've got some form of proof of the debt you can take to small claims court theres not much you can do.

Selling his stuff would be a crime so depends how likley you think he is to kick off/report you if you do it"

I have receipts, bank statements etc and texts from him saying he will pay and also saying I can keep the stuff. It's only over the phone he's said he wants to pick up the stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send him a text and make it as blunt as possible. You owe me "X" amount....I want it before my rent is due seems reasonable x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are women so vindictive.?

Notice its always women who make things awkward.

Seriously grow up the pair of you and become Adults you just turned 21 no excuse anymore.

Very sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What sort of stuff did he leave?

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I've sent multiple texts stating I just want him to pay the money by this date and I've offered to give his stuff to friends but he never arranges it and I don't have their details.

I'm not vindictive, I've been trying to sort this for months. I need the money he owes and his stuff gone. It's as simple as that.

It's only clothes, odd bits and a laptop bag. Nothing of any real value, nothing close to what he owes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are women so vindictive.?

Notice its always women who make things awkward.

Seriously grow up the pair of you and become Adults you just turned 21 no excuse anymore.

Very sad. "

Obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've sent multiple texts stating I just want him to pay the money by this date and I've offered to give his stuff to friends but he never arranges it and I don't have their details.

I'm not vindictive, I've been trying to sort this for months. I need the money he owes and his stuff gone. It's as simple as that.

It's only clothes, odd bits and a laptop bag. Nothing of any real value, nothing close to what he owes. "

Stick it all on eBay. Rent comes first.

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By *lueWonderMan
over a year ago

Preston.....ish

You have given enough time to collect his stuff and as you say if it's not that valuable - fuck him, I'd be bagging it up and dumping it outside a charity shop.

Not your problem x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the sad thing op is if he will not pay i suggest a written letter photocopied and sent giving 28 days to pay if no reponse then if its a great amout of money look at court action if you win he pays your costs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op ignore the negatives, if its rent money you need i would sell the stuff as that comes first, i hope it works out ok for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the sad thing op is if he will not pay i suggest a written letter photocopied and sent giving 28 days to pay if no reponse then if its a great amout of money look at court action if you win he pays your costs "

He would only pay fixed court costs.

Not her solicitor costs.

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"op ignore the negatives, if its rent money you need i would sell the stuff as that comes first, i hope it works out ok for you"

Thankyou so much. I already had to drop out of uni to pay for him to eat. All of this is just too much for me. It's not my responsibility to pay for a man 6 years my senior to eat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the sad thing op is if he will not pay i suggest a written letter photocopied and sent giving 28 days to pay if no reponse then if its a great amout of money look at court action if you win he pays your costs

He would only pay fixed court costs.

Not her solicitor costs."
you can represent yourself in the small claims court i think yes you can its over a set amount you need legal rep

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By *ollie1Couple
over a year ago

murcia spain

speak to judge rinder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"op ignore the negatives, if its rent money you need i would sell the stuff as that comes first, i hope it works out ok for you

Thankyou so much. I already had to drop out of uni to pay for him to eat. All of this is just too much for me. It's not my responsibility to pay for a man 6 years my senior to eat. "
aww bless, seems your better shot now than 10 years down the road

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do. "

Message me I could help I'm in the legal profession

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I appreciate all the support and advice thankyou so much

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"speak to judge rinder"

Lol... just what I was thinking

Honestly... either try to go through the courts or Ull just have to accept that he's left you In a mess... I've given up asking for money from my ex... he refuses to accept that the loan I took out to move into the house is technically half his. My own fault for letting him be with me... even though we were actively swinging together he still felt the need to cheat on me...

So my next advice is choose a woman next time

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do. "

You've been had good and proper I'm afraid.

First thing to do is block him on all other social media sites. Second is get back to University if you can. Third is try and find a job that will pay your rent and fourth is sell his stuff to tide you over.

Its a horrible thing to have happened but you walked in with your eyes open. Every one of us has made mistakes through naivety or believing ourselves to be in love. Its how you deal with the mistake and subsequently what you learn from it that counts.

Hope you get it sorted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do. "

Wait how did a 2 month relationship make you drop out of uni to pay for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do.

Message me I could help I'm in the legal profession "

Haha! Yeah right!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Get on Judge Rinder. That prick always knows what to do. He's the twat for this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP,

Are you quite a vulnerable person, gullible etc?

Because you had a guy move in, dropped out of Uni etc and all this in a mere two months?

How much does he owe you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I've given up asking for money from my ex... he refuses to accept that the loan I took out to move into the house is technically half his."

How is a loan YOU took out, technically half his?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do.

Message me I could help I'm in the legal profession

Haha! Yeah right! "

Oh you're just mad you didn't think of it first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are women so vindictive.?

Notice its always women who make things awkward.

Seriously grow up the pair of you and become Adults you just turned 21 no excuse anymore.

Very sad. "

Well,if he owes her money, he should pay up. Would you tolerate a similar situation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are women so vindictive.?

Notice its always women who make things awkward.

Seriously grow up the pair of you and become Adults you just turned 21 no excuse anymore.

Very sad. "

What is vindictive about wanting to sell the stuff he's left at her place in order to get the money he owes her ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"op ignore the negatives, if its rent money you need i would sell the stuff as that comes first, i hope it works out ok for you

Thankyou so much. I already had to drop out of uni to pay for him to eat. All of this is just too much for me. It's not my responsibility to pay for a man 6 years my senior to eat. "

It's nobody's responsibility apart from his..

you're not going to get your money. You do what you need to do now to get by.

And next time.. avoid this situation again, don't move anyone into your space. You can be part of a great couple without living with someone, learn to put boundaries in place and stick to them.. oh and get your ass back to uni, don't let this asshole and your bad experience finish your education, go and speak to the support people st uni asap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As bitter a pill it is to swallow, you may just have to take the loss on this one, I know it's hard when someone makes all the promises in the world, but if the guy can't afford to feed himself then did you really think he was capable of paying half of a loan?

Make sure YOU have somewhere to live, if you have to move leave his stuff neat in a bag in the house, then make it clear it's his responsibility to either pick it up before you move, or from the landlord, wash your hands of him, and move forward, and for gods sake fight your way back to uni.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are women so vindictive.?

Notice its always women who make things awkward.

Seriously grow up the pair of you and become Adults you just turned 21 no excuse anymore.

Very sad. "

How very helpful Mr high and mighty. You keep on plodding along there with that halo above your head!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you get the money back.

Worst case scenario is that you have to just chalk it up to experience

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Send him a text saying "you owe me £x. Please pay me by (insert date). If you don't I will sell your property in part payment of the debt.

That should cover you legally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Send him a text saying "you owe me £x. Please pay me by (insert date). If you don't I will sell your property in part payment of the debt.

That should cover you legally. "

This is good advice. Have you contacted the CAB who might be able to guide you?

Going forward, never lend anything you can't afford to lose. And get yourself back in uni - please don't let this man affect your life so drastically

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Why are women so vindictive.?

Notice its always women who make things awkward.

Seriously grow up the pair of you and become Adults you just turned 21 no excuse anymore.

Very sad. "
she's not being vindictive she's asking for what's due, he's the one who is in the wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Send him a text saying "you owe me £x. Please pay me by (insert date). If you don't I will sell your property in part payment of the debt.

That should cover you legally. "

If by cover you legally you mean convict you for selling stolen property, sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"speak to judge rinder"
yes she should do that .

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Hope you get yourself sorted,it doesn't sound a great position to be in. All you can do is learn from your mistakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh I'd right it off as a debt that your not gonna see returned. I wouldn't advice selling his stuff, just bag it up n either take to his house n leave it by his door or put it in your loft untill he comes to get it. You could take him to court but is it really worth the hassle?

PTU xxx

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By *ercuryMan
over a year ago

Grantham

If you have nothing in writing, then you haven't a leg to stand on. You will say it was a loan, he will say it's a gift.

Send him a registered post letter, giving him adequate time to collect his stuff. Keep a copy of everything.

If he defaults on collection, then dispose of the stuff in whatever way you seem fit.

Best of luck. Learn from your mistake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"never lend anything you can't afford to lose. "

PTU xxx

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do.

Wait how did a 2 month relationship make you drop out of uni to pay for?"

Tumble...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i would fuck him"

I'd fuck kemi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i would fuck him

You're welcome to"

Oh this made me laugh

Sell it and move on with no guilt like he has. Best of luck op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let it go and just put it down to a bad experience. Bag the stuff up and give him a date to collect them by, if he don't come by then tell him you will get rid of it.

Doll x

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

if he's not on the tenancy agreement then legally that stuff is yours. but seeing as you know it's his then it's fair to give him some warning that you don't want it in your home (which you texted him). i'd say 2 weeks and then get rid.

he could try and sure you for selling his things but under actual law you won't be prosecuted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Send him a text saying "you owe me £x. Please pay me by (insert date). If you don't I will sell your property in part payment of the debt.

That should cover you legally.

If by cover you legally you mean convict you for selling stolen property, sure."

He'd have to have proof that it's his property.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Send him a text saying "you owe me £x. Please pay me by (insert date). If you don't I will sell your property in part payment of the debt.

That should cover you legally.

If by cover you legally you mean convict you for selling stolen property, sure."

She's asked him to come and collect it and he has ignored her. . He's effectively abandoned the property. You can't steal abandoned property.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, it's a crap situation, but I think you just need to use it as a learning curve for future relationships. Many of us have been naive when we've been in love. I had to write off debts from an ex so I know how tough it is.

I think it's a good idea to send a text or email like others have said, say you'd like a payment of 'X' amount by a certain date or you'll be keeping his belongings.

I hope it gets sorted for you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is never to lend more money than you can afford to lose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He was only with you for 8 weeks, and you dropped out of Uni and got in to debt to the point you need to consider committing a crime to pay your rent...

You should write him a thank you letter for the life lesson, bag up his stuff and tell him which day it will be outside your front door. And get yourself back to uni, you have a life to live, get on with it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Blimey what a coincidence, Judge Rinder on in the background with the same sort of thing, someone left their stuff in a flat, the person in the flat used it and damaged it and has now had to pay out for it to the owner.

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

There seems to be a lot of confusion with the length of our relationship and the debts. It wasn't all within 2 months, we moved very quickly yes but the 2 months is how long I've been messaging him to collect his stuff with the same end date (next week) because I have nowhere to keep his stuff as I myself will not have the space as staying with a friend so only have Necessities.

I have sent him that text multiple times in that two months.

He also doesn't have an address on England as he is an international student from africa. His family is well off and he lives off it or, never had a job in his life.

I hope that clears my mistake up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do I get money that is owed to me by an ex that has ghosted me but he still wants to pick up stuff he left at mine.

Lived with me for two months and didn't pay a thing, was a whirlwind relationship and everything he said he'd pay me back for he hasn't. I still have some of his things but it's been a month and he's not answering calls to collect. My rent runs out next week, is it wrong to sell his stuff for the value he owes me?

Wrong site to ask I know but he follows me on everything else and knows what I do. "

You can only get rid of his stuff after you have given a reasonable amount of notice to him to collect - if you sell it, you have to give him reasonable time to collect the money - or its classed as theft . If he owes you, if nothing is in writing, then its his word against yours. My ex owes me over 30k and we have a child - no csa as not declaring the work he does, so they cannot assess - cant do anything about the debt i was left to pay as all in my name, despite us being together for 18 yrs - as no written agreement.. sad as it is.. all you can legally do is ' suck it up buttercup'.. soz.. not what you'd want to hear....7 yrs on my debt now at zero.. I have the house and child - and he sofa surfs..... i could have been soo much more bitter, but hey.. it pisses him off more to see ive dragged myself out of his shit, and cam hold my head up high

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of confusion with the length of our relationship and the debts. It wasn't all within 2 months, we moved very quickly yes but the 2 months is how long I've been messaging him to collect his stuff with the same end date (next week) because I have nowhere to keep his stuff as I myself will not have the space as staying with a friend so only have Necessities.

I have sent him that text multiple times in that two months.

He also doesn't have an address on England as he is an international student from africa. His family is well off and he lives off it or, never had a job in his life.

I hope that clears my mistake up? "

If he comes from a well off family, why did you have to drop out of university and feed him and why did he borrow money from you?

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

just sell it. especially if you're moving out.

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By *emi2017 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"There seems to be a lot of confusion with the length of our relationship and the debts. It wasn't all within 2 months, we moved very quickly yes but the 2 months is how long I've been messaging him to collect his stuff with the same end date (next week) because I have nowhere to keep his stuff as I myself will not have the space as staying with a friend so only have Necessities.

I have sent him that text multiple times in that two months.

He also doesn't have an address on England as he is an international student from africa. His family is well off and he lives off it or, never had a job in his life.

I hope that clears my mistake up?

If he comes from a well off family, why did you have to drop out of university and feed him and why did he borrow money from you?"

Because I'm a fool that believes his lies. His rent was up, we were starting something so I said he could move in for a few days to find his feet. That turned into a lot longer and he just sponged until it got out of hand and too late to grab on to. I missed all the signs through naivety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Blimey what a coincidence, Judge Rinder on in the background with the same sort of thing, someone left their stuff in a flat, the person in the flat used it and damaged it and has now had to pay out for it to the owner.

"

as long as you can prove you tried to get the person to collect stuff, its not a problem if you get rid of it... you just have to prove you have given that reasonable time.. text, phone call logs etc, letters to last known address.. no judge would expect you to keep someone elses' things for ever

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I'm not sure what is do about the money situation but I'd take his stuff to the dump!! If he still has a key I'd change the locks to... Hope you get it sorted and don't be so nice next time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just read some of OP's responses - all i can say is sounds like you've been scammed..... heard tales very similar before on another site.. How do you know his family has a lot of money that's been supporting him. cos he said so ?? and you gave up uni to support him ?? me thinks you've been targeted... for vulnerabilities

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"There seems to be a lot of confusion with the length of our relationship and the debts. It wasn't all within 2 months, we moved very quickly yes but the 2 months is how long I've been messaging him to collect his stuff with the same end date (next week) because I have nowhere to keep his stuff as I myself will not have the space as staying with a friend so only have Necessities.

I have sent him that text multiple times in that two months.

He also doesn't have an address on England as he is an international student from africa. His family is well off and he lives off it or, never had a job in his life.

I hope that clears my mistake up?

If he comes from a well off family, why did you have to drop out of university and feed him and why did he borrow money from you?

Because I'm a fool that believes his lies. His rent was up, we were starting something so I said he could move in for a few days to find his feet. That turned into a lot longer and he just sponged until it got out of hand and too late to grab on to. I missed all the signs through naivety "

Well you've acknowledged and learnt from your mistake which is good. I think the replies have covered the legal position on selling his stuff, although it doesn't sound like it's worth much. I hope you go back to uni, perhaps they can offer some financial support or the council would offer you a hardship loan or something to help get you back on your feet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of confusion with the length of our relationship and the debts. It wasn't all within 2 months, we moved very quickly yes but the 2 months is how long I've been messaging him to collect his stuff with the same end date (next week) because I have nowhere to keep his stuff as I myself will not have the space as staying with a friend so only have Necessities.

I have sent him that text multiple times in that two months.

He also doesn't have an address on England as he is an international student from africa. His family is well off and he lives off it or, never had a job in his life.

I hope that clears my mistake up?

If he comes from a well off family, why did you have to drop out of university and feed him and why did he borrow money from you?

Because I'm a fool that believes his lies. His rent was up, we were starting something so I said he could move in for a few days to find his feet. That turned into a lot longer and he just sponged until it got out of hand and too late to grab on to. I missed all the signs through naivety "

Love makes anyone go blind. We are all guilty of that!

Don't worry yourself too much. You're moving so leave his belongings at the property you're moving out of. Or leave his stuff outside and message him to say where they are and you're moving away. People with his attitude won't change any time soon. So forget the money he owes you and move on with your life. You seem a really lovely and genuinely nice person. Shame on him for taking advantage of your good nature. Oh and go back to uni lol. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't know where he lives I wouldn't bother taking him to court.

There's not much the court can do without an address.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sell whatever remaining stuff he has at yours and move on in life.Put it down as one of life's learning curves but please,learn from from it and don't make the same mistake twice.

Good luck

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am sure most of us have been sucked in at some point in our lives, even this old cynic has (which is probably why I am an old cynic now.) It isn't the victims fault if she has been ripped off.

To the OP, you have given him enough notice, I would be dumping his stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of confusion with the length of our relationship and the debts. It wasn't all within 2 months, we moved very quickly yes but the 2 months is how long I've been messaging him to collect his stuff with the same end date (next week) because I have nowhere to keep his stuff as I myself will not have the space as staying with a friend so only have Necessities.

I have sent him that text multiple times in that two months.

He also doesn't have an address on England as he is an international student from africa. His family is well off and he lives off it or, never had a job in his life.

I hope that clears my mistake up? "

You said you lived together for 2 months?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 months or 2 years doesn't matter, she got conned, there does seem to be a lot of African men from wealthy families who just need a couple of months before the cheque clears. Probably related to that bank manager in Nigeria who just wants to use my account to get the inheritance to the UK, just needs a few grand to process it...

Be careful out there, con men and women are everywhere.

If you get caught out then take it on the chin and don't get caught again. Nothing else you can do.

OP please get back into Uni, you have your whole life in front of you, and one harsh lesson behind you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2 months or 2 years doesn't matter, she got conned, there does seem to be a lot of African men from wealthy families who just need a couple of months before the cheque clears. Probably related to that bank manager in Nigeria who just wants to use my account to get the inheritance to the UK, just needs a few grand to process it...

"

this type of scamming has been going for years - and is regularly talked about on tv, radio - even in secondary schools - and has been for at least the last 5 yrs

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