FabSwingers.com forum: Alcohol dependancy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I finally got the courage to say something to a close friend of mine about her drinking. She admits its become a problem and wants to change and get help. Whefe does one turn? Is this done through a gp?? I am desperate to help her but i don't know how.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"I finally got the courage to say something to a close friend of mine about her drinking. She admits its become a problem and wants to change and get help. Whefe does one turn? Is this done through a gp?? I am desperate to help her but i don't know how. "

Look up a help organisation called Aquarius, not sure if they are countrywide but that's what they are there for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely GP, she needs to go herself to show she wants to change. There are charities such as AA but depending on how addicted she is she may need medication to help her wean?

Well done for tackling it sensitively, she obviously felt she could be honest with you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

GP first. Organisations can help a lot but drink damages her body and mind so GP needs to know. Good luck. Its not an easy ride.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as she knows she needs the help, as people in that situation can be devious. I have first hand experience of a loved one who said they were ready to get help but was years before they finally did, and by then it was too late

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Might be an Idea to seek counselling to find out why she is alcohol dependant. It's quite a major issue and tbh she willl need professional help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be prepared for a very long haul and a lot of setbacks, hurt and disappointment if you start this journey with her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be very, very careful OP, addicts can be very devious and manipulative, while it is understandable that you want to help, always put yourself first and be mindful of your own mental health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be very, very careful OP, addicts can be very devious and manipulative, while it is understandable that you want to help, always put yourself first and be mindful of your own mental health."

And this absolutely.

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

Held me back for a few years after my first tour. Soon as I made my doc aware help was literally around the corner. I just needed to admit it to myself that there was a problem. Been clean for about 10 years now.

Understanding and guidance is what's needed.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Be very, very careful OP, addicts can be very devious and manipulative, while it is understandable that you want to help, always put yourself first and be mindful of your own mental health."

Couldn't agree more.

I don't know if its still called AlAnon but part of AA is for friends and family. They can advise and help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O.P

Half the struggle for many people with addictions is actually admitting they need help. They can be offered all the help that's available (and there's a lot now) but unless they want it your possibly on a hiding to nowhere. Your friend is admitting she needs help and has recognised that the drinking is becoming an issue.

I watched alcohol kill my mother and believe me it wasn't for lack of trying on our part, she just never thought it was that bad.

So it's good that your their To Help your friend and that she wants to more importantly help herself. X

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By *s.KerryTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

"O.P

I watched alcohol kill my mother and believe me it wasn't for lack of trying on our part, she just never thought it was that bad.

So it's good that your their To Help your friend and that she wants to more importantly help herself. X"

Wise words indeed I think. Support is also a key issue and as stated above it is there IF the person wants it. I know because I was in the same situation and even now, some 18 years later, it is always helpful..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my ex is an alcoholic - his brother had so many addictions as well - gp and AA is the obvious people to go to - but many support groups about - well done for being that friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Spoke to her today she emptied the bottles down the sink. I gave her a lot of praise for doing it. But i know how easy it is to go buy a new bottle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spoke to her today she emptied the bottles down the sink. I gave her a lot of praise for doing it. But i know how easy it is to go buy a new bottle. "

Well done to her. It's not easy but it is worth it. I did that same thing 17 months ago.

PTU xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be very, very careful OP, addicts can be very devious and manipulative, while it is understandable that you want to help, always put yourself first and be mindful of your own mental health.

Couldn't agree more.

I don't know if its still called AlAnon but part of AA is for friends and family. They can advise and help."

I beleive it still is.

If I were you op I would Google AA meetings nearby your locality and you should find a contact telephone number...give them a call as they are always helpful and will steer you in the best way forward

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

If she is an addict..... Addiction is dangerous .... the addict is not your friend. The addict will say anything that she thinks you want to hear and it's unlikely that one chat with you is going to be the turning point. Step 1. She has to go to the doctor of her own free will. One step at a time.

Wish you both luck.

V x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

AA doesn't work for everyone and there are other service options.

If she has been to her GP s/he can refer to the local alcohol service, which may offer wet and dry services. Recovery is a continuous process, particularly as we live in a 'just one won't hurt you' culture.

Look at Dontbottleitup to take an online test. If your local authority is linked to the test it will give you the details of all the local places to go for support and help. If it isn't then it will give you the general national information.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If she is an addict..... Addiction is dangerous .... the addict is not your friend. The addict will say anything that she thinks you want to hear and it's unlikely that one chat with you is going to be the turning point. Step 1. She has to go to the doctor of her own free will. One step at a time.

Wish you both luck.

V x

The alternative step 1 is.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become

unmanageable.

As part of the 12 step program...believe me the AA are good...by all means get as much help that is out there...but I would recommend what I mentioned in the earlier post.

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