FabSwingers.com forum: negative people

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I consider myself a pessimistic optimist.

I hope things turn out ok but i am prepared for the worst to happen.

Of course in a depressive episode one loses the optimist side.

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By *urntAngelicMan
over a year ago

Runcorn

I have been noticing this a lot myself.

Some guys seem to be carrying a lot of sour grapes,

Then some women/couples are just arrogant dicks.

The people in the middle are the good ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just don't know how lucky they are in this world.

A dose of walking in someone else's shoes wouldn't go a miss and the Brits on the whole are a nation of whingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean mood hoovers??! I guess you're either a glass half full or half empty kind of person, I'm the former, can't stand negative people.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Some people just don't know how lucky they are in this world.

A dose of walking in someone else's shoes wouldn't go a miss and the Brits on the whole are a nation of whingers."

Sadly I have to agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a friend who is all doom and gloom. When we go out she constantly moans about where we are and the music, constantly asks if we're ok and want to go. Every time I see her at the school she moans about her children, having no money and her lodger.

She will never be happy.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I think that most people have days when they think the whole world and its dog is against them, but to go out and let everyone else know about it achieves absolutely nothing really.

I buy a bottle of wine, have a bath, put some kick ass tunes on and know that tomorrow will be a much better day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Nessarosa writing)

We try and stay clear of these people.

If confronted with someone's continue moaning and complaining, Lee usually says he is so sorry that they are victims of their own lives.

These people think talking will fix it... but need to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes.

Most moaning is a result of truly self inflicted lifestyle.

Xxx

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?"

I doubt it ever pays off though in the short term, if you take pity on someone's woes, they might be rewarded with sympathy and support. It's when the same people are moaning on about the same thing months or even years later - in spite of you providing an ear, a shoulder to cry on, practical advice (which is repeatedly ignored) etc., - that you realise maybe they just like the drama, and the attention it creates, more than actually trying to change things.

Certainly on Fab, a negative profile and/or near constant negativity in the forums, is hugely unattractive. We all have down days for sure and an occasional whinge is human nature but in an environment where you're trying to sell yourself as attractive I don't understand why you'd perpetually present yourself in a negative light ? There are a handful of forumites (naming no names obviously) where I see their name/avatar and I know, before reading them, that damn near every contribution they make will be doom and gloom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is this negative thing of which you speak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Sister is a very negative person. When I chat to her, she consistently moans about how terrible her life is. It's at the point where I now limit how much I talk to her because I've found I come off the phone feeling negative myself.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"You mean mood hoovers??! I guess you're either a glass half full or half empty kind of person, I'm the former, can't stand negative people. "

Mood hoovers

. I like that.

We're with you. We're generally positive upbeat kinda people and tend to avoid negative profiles.

Nita

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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maybe they have depression? so can't help it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people just don't know how lucky they are in this world.

A dose of walking in someone else's shoes wouldn't go a miss and the Brits on the whole are a nation of whingers."

This is correct. Used to be pretty mega ourselves but after travelling around the world we seen for ourselves how lucky we are to have to pack our own bags at aldi lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Sister is a very negative person. When I chat to her, she consistently moans about how terrible her life is. It's at the point where I now limit how much I talk to her because I've found I come off the phone feeling negative myself. "
some relations can do that and not even know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess you're either a glass half full or half empty kind of person. "

Either way, there's room for more wine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who are overly positive equally piss me off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People who are overly positive equally piss me off

Oh crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?"

No never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People who are overly positive equally piss me off

Oh crap

Chuckle we re always positive

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By *VBethTV/TS
over a year ago

Chester

I stay positive. What's the point in being negative? I have a roof over my head, enough (too much.... ) to eat and hot water. Plus some money to go out occasionally. There are people far worse off than me. I don't envy those who have more, that's life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it."
i would agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I stay positive. What's the point in being negative? I have a roof over my head, enough (too much.... ) to eat and hot water. Plus some money to go out occasionally. There are people far worse off than me. I don't envy those who have more, that's life.

"
i would agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I consider myself a pessimistic optimist.

I hope things turn out ok but i am prepared for the worst to happen.

Of course in a depressive episode one loses the optimist side.

I'm the opposite. I'm an optimistic pessimist

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've gotton too layed back these days. Especially since I gave up drinking n been taking my meds daily.

Although tomorrow I'm going armed with my vape pen, my rescue spray and extra meds just in case my anxiety gets to high.

PTU xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people just don't know how lucky they are in this world.

A dose of walking in someone else's shoes wouldn't go a miss and the Brits on the whole are a nation of whingers.

Sadly I have to agree

But we are good it

Fuzz

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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"People who are overly positive equally piss me off

yeah, i feel like they're deluded or have lived a sheltered adult hood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?

True words spoken by she with the self deprecating nature

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it.

Depression and being negative are two very different things though arent they ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to avoid people who are too negative, I don't want to hear people moaning about petty stuff, being rude to others, and whingeing. I have sympathy for those who are truly depressed or have serious problems though. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand depression, but there's a world of difference between that and constantly moaning and complaining about everything with nothing positive or cheerful to say.

Hell, I have my own mental health issues and people always tell me how cheerful and positive I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You mean mood hoovers??! I guess you're either a glass half full or half empty kind of person, I'm the former, can't stand negative people. "

I'm logical wether I'm optimistic or pessimistic so the glass in only half empty if it was full to begin with and half full if it was empty to start. Either way I ordered a cheese burger

Fuzz

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it.

Depression and being negative are two very different things though arent they ?"

at times, yes.

but ultimately depression is a mental state that affects your mindset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it.

Depression and being negative are two very different things though arent they ?"

True words. Depression can be helped

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it.

Depression and being negative are two very different things though arent they ?

at times, yes.

but ultimately depression is a mental state that affects your mindset. "

I dont know if its the same thing but i was in a relationship with someone with pstd but i can hand on heart say she was a positive person in general

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without tasting the bitter one can never appreciate the sweet ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mr) keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I don't share how I feel with anyone, including my Wife. It's nobody's business and it means that I can't accidentally bring anyone down. I'm probably somewhere in between, I don't take the medicine for my heart disease, so I must be fairly positive that it won't kill me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it.

Depression and being negative are two very different things though arent they ?

at times, yes.

but ultimately depression is a mental state that affects your mindset.

I dont know if its the same thing but i was in a relationship with someone with pstd but i can hand on heart say she was a positive person in general "

no it's not the same illness, and even then not all illnesses affect people the same way either. i think many with one mental illness will also have other illnesses too, so this will affect things.

PTSD apparently makes people rage for no reason? i never rage, if anything i will just go numb so i don't have to deal with emotions at all. you're supposed to get memory flashbacks, i don't get them and lost my memories instead.

nobody has the exact same symptoms, although having a combination of symptoms that apply to a syndrome means you have likely got that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people just don't know how lucky they are in this world.

A dose of walking in someone else's shoes wouldn't go a miss and the Brits on the whole are a nation of whingers."

So true. It's generally a 1st world problem.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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also, i don't just see depressing thoughts as negative.

things like taking the piss out of others for being new and asking a question could be seen as negative.

not being tolerant of others for being different could be seen as negative.

grammar nazis are negative.

people who try to shame others, also negative.

we should discuss those too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she's positive doesn't she attract me? That's what I leaned on science. + attracts -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe they have depression? so can't help it.

Depression and being negative are two very different things though arent they ?

at times, yes.

but ultimately depression is a mental state that affects your mindset.

I dont know if its the same thing but i was in a relationship with someone with pstd but i can hand on heart say she was a positive person in general

no it's not the same illness, and even then not all illnesses affect people the same way either. i think many with one mental illness will also have other illnesses too, so this will affect things.

nobody has the exact same symptoms, although having a combination of symptoms that apply to a syndrome means you have likely got that."

That makes sense.

I know about the rage

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?"

There are certain folk on here who often complain or moan or whinge about lack of meets and no messages and don't take advice and then don't seem to understand that one of the reasons they are sexually unfulfilled on here is because they complain and moan and whinge and don't take advice.

It's like water going down a drain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"also, i don't just see depressing thoughts as negative.

things like taking the piss out of others for being new and asking a question could be seen as negative.

not being tolerant of others for being different could be seen as negative.

grammar nazis are negative.

people who try to shame others, also negative.

we should discuss those too."

Well said

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

"also, i don't just see depressing thoughts as negative.

things like taking the piss out of others for being new and asking a question could be seen as negative.

not being tolerant of others for being different could be seen as negative.

grammar nazis are negative.

people who try to shame others, also negative.

we should discuss those too."

Yes, totally agree

Negativity is anything that's unnecessarily unpleasant really. A sense of entitlement, putting down others to make yourself look better, spite and so on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Break free from the captivity of negativity.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

of course not tho being constantly positive about everything is just as weird..we all have ups and downs ..best to just chill and do what makes u happy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People who are overly positive equally piss me off

Oh crap

Chuckle we re always positive

Definitely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Without tasting the bitter one can never appreciate the sweet ...."

True words

Fuzz

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?"

In my experience the answer to all three is no.

I left my job because of a culture of negativity in the office I was in. It was as if it was a habit that no one could break and I was sick of trying to remain positive in the face of it.

Depression plays a part so does anxiety but for many people its just easier to be negative and its extremely difficult to be around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always try and see the good in people -

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By *erfumedpornovampireWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

"I've gotton too layed back these days. Especially since I gave up drinking n been taking my meds daily.

Although tomorrow I'm going armed with my vape pen, my rescue spray and extra meds just in case my anxiety gets to high.

PTU xxx "

Anxiety and depression have made me bitter and negative and I hate it. I've become so aware of it recently and I don't know how to do anything about it now, I've been like it for 30 years. Also I suffer from chronic fatigue and it's almost too much effort to try and be happy.

I sometimes wish I was just numb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am always positive person I never been Negative in my life but sometimes I Struggle due to my Cp/LD to say or write thing which could be seen as negative which I don’t mean to do but when some say to me I am a negative person which is hurtful remake when I only trying to see the Brightside of life is wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?"

Just because I'm a cynic who doesn't suffer fools gladly and refuses to tow the sycophantic Forum line mean that I'm unhappy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Miserable moaner's sap energy.

Mood hoovers.

Everyone can have an off day but I avoid thus type if I can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very like my post on irish forum about people either radiators or drains

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/657024

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I am always positive person I never been Negative in my life but sometimes I Struggle due to my Cp/LD to say or write thing which could be seen as negative which I don’t mean to do but when some say to me I am a negative person which is hurtful remake when I only trying to see the Brightside of life is wrong?

how do you think you could come across as more positive?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I've gotton too layed back these days. Especially since I gave up drinking n been taking my meds daily.

Although tomorrow I'm going armed with my vape pen, my rescue spray and extra meds just in case my anxiety gets to high.

PTU xxx

I sometimes wish I was just numb

You don't come across as negative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find on the forums though that if someone says something negative on here, you tend to agree with them. That doesn't really show you in a positive way.

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?

Just because I'm a cynic who doesn't suffer fools gladly and refuses to tow the sycophantic Forum line mean that I'm unhappy?"
i have no idea how you come across as i dont generally read what you post. It wasnt aimed at anyone person but the people that constantly whine on here and do nothing to change it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pity people who compress the entire spectrum of human emotion into a binary positive=good/negati e=bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find on the forums though that if someone says something negative on here, you tend to agree with them. That doesn't really show you in a positive way."
i see well i do for fun when i agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find on the forums though that if someone says something negative on here, you tend to agree with them. That doesn't really show you in a positive way."

What you said is very true and honest.

It's often linked with listening. We tend to gravitate to those who listen to us too...This can be very prevent in messaging and forums postings/ replies too. It actually many not be a true reflection of the persons own general aura.

"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. You can see that when you think how the friends that really listen to us are the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius as though it did us good, like ultraviolet rays.” ~ Brenda Ueland.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find on the forums though that if someone says something negative on here, you tend to agree with them. That doesn't really show you in a positive way.

What you said is very true and honest.

We're possess two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find on the forums though that if someone says something negative on here, you tend to agree with them. That doesn't really show you in a positive way.

What you said is very true and honest.

We're possess two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk!

Most of us are only half listening at best. We are often formulating more to say rather than answering what is / was said. This is the primary reason we missed understand/misinterpret people. It even happens in text...We may often see what we think is being said. How many posts has one read only to see half way down someone pointing out that the OP asked/said something other than what people have taken then up to have said?

It's good to listen...

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?"

One person's negativity is another's realism

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Does it ever pay of to be constantly negative. Do people take pity on them. Can they ever be happy?

One person's negativity is another's realism

In some ways, I'd agree with that but some people are on a downward spiral and can only see the negatives and aren't particularly interested in changing either or seeing someone else's point of view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a lot of threads and posts on the forum in general , posted by 'positive' people moaning about 'negative' people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember one thing you talking to a computer screen so you do not know who you really talking too in the end till you meet them in real life but a lot here do misinterpreted other without know them really anyway it seem I the only one who get pick on here it seem..

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I am rhesus negative.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I am rhesus negative.

"
really? Bloody hell!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am rhesus negative.

So am I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/17 19:20:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are a lot of threads and posts on the forum in general , posted by 'positive' people moaning about 'negative' people on here

Some truth there. Fab can get the most positive person down at times...then they get suddenly tainted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

everyone can be negative at times and the positive people bring them round i guess

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