FabSwingers.com forum: Can we be faithful?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok now this isn't a " all cheaters are scum" thread.

I'm curious to know what people think about relationships that claim they're exclusive to each other.

After being on websites like these for a few years - I automatically assume that the majority are attatched - call it cynical if you like.

Are we as sexual beings meant to be monogamous?

I'm not sure asking a bunch of swingers will give me the answer I'm looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look upon it as levels of faithfulness. Mr gets all of me , emotionally, physically the good and bad. Meets get a part of me, mostly physical with a bit of the emotion. So yes I still believe we can be monogamous within a swinging lifestyle x

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

This will turn into a cheaters are scum thread. You know that right?

I believe everyone as a wanderung eye. At the very least a curiosity about other people. Maybe what do they look like naked or wonder what its like to kiss them. All the way to wondering what it would be like to have them sexually. Some will never go beyond that others will. Yeah theres other factors like loyalty and guilt. But i believe it essentially boils down to basic instinct and how a person deals with it that will ultimately decide if they cheat or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally don't think people are programmed to be monogamous, but this applies more to men than to women, as they have that urge to procreate all over the place...

(disclaimer...this is not based on any scientific knowledge

)

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Ok now this isn't a " all cheaters are scum" thread.

I'm curious to know what people think about relationships that claim they're exclusive to each other.

After being on websites like these for a few years - I automatically assume that the majority are attatched - call it cynical if you like.

Are we as sexual beings meant to be monogamous?

I'm not sure asking a bunch of swingers will give me the answer I'm looking for

Yeah, you're cynical!

I think it depends on what's meant by monogamy - to some it will include a sexual monogamy, others it will be more of a marital monogamy. I think that people can be if they want to and choose to be so.

I also think we're not meant to be but for a myriad of reasons people subscribe to the idea of it (societal, religious, upbringing etc).

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Some are, some aren't. That's just life. Individual circumstances will always vary.

I believe or rather hope that should anyone be daft enough to settle down with me that we both would be enough for each other. We would both be happy and neither of us would stray. That being said, I also worry that perhaps I'll never find that because I'm terrified of it and would screw it up.

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By *hreescompany333Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

I think there is an element of pragmatism to the swinging lifestyle. I think it's disingenuous (and maybe even a little naive) to expect of any relationship for two people to only EVER feel sexually attracted to one other person for the rest of their lives.

That's not at all to say that people that are fully monogamous aren't happy together. I very much respect their fidelity and applaud it. However, I enjoy sharing everything with my partner and her sharing everything with me. That includes lust and sexual cravings. So, if either of us see something that excites us, or craves something or someone in a certain way, we enjoy sharing that information rather than buying it somewhere deep and dark in the psyche.

We just see it as one more thing we have opened up about to each other. Another level of honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Monogamous relationships are rare in nature, people just act like they've "evolved" enough that they should be with one person forever. It's impossible for someone to get everything from a partner for 50+ years.

I have never and would never cheat on a partner, however what is cheating in an open relationship will be different than a closed on. As long as someone doesn't get hurt then its all good.

Saying all that, as the single one I'm not the one that's cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure what you're asking. I know a few people I've met on here who were in exclusive relationships for periods of time between 2 and 30 years without stepping outside of that. In some cases they had been on fab before and returned after the exclusive relationship ended. That's not uncommon I don't think.

We live so long now that it's difficult to sustain a monogamous relationship for a lifespan.

Also, females are programmed to mix their partners up as much as males if you look at the animal kingdom as a whole. In some species females can even do clever things with sperm to ensure insemination from the most potent male of several they've had sex with. I'm still practicing that trick...

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By *bjones1000Man
over a year ago

exeter

I also don't believe people are meant to be monogamous, this is why its harder to be faithful than it is to cheat. Myself, I wouldn't cheat now, not because I'm trying to come across as an amazing guy, like some do, but because I have cheated in a previous relationship, got caught, and the hurt I saw I her eyes, realising id just ruined the time together, the trust she had in me, and possibly any trust she would have in the future. Just wouldn't be able to do that to anyone again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok now this isn't a " all cheaters are scum" thread.

I'm curious to know what people think about relationships that claim they're exclusive to each other.

After being on websites like these for a few years - I automatically assume that the majority are attatched - call it cynical if you like.

Are we as sexual beings meant to be monogamous?

I'm not sure asking a bunch of swingers will give me the answer I'm looking for

Like most of these threads it'll boil down to ones own personal interpretation in which that person is comfortable to justify whatever they do to appease their conscious. We live in a post-truth erratic where there are little if any absolutes anymore. It's whatever each is comfortable within themselves and many the other/others they're involved with.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I think it depends on the person tbh.

Some people thrive in committed relationships ,whilst others prefer multiple partners.

I honestly think if someone is going to cheat,they will regardless of their relationship status.Some will always be looking for the next best thing.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok now this isn't a " all cheaters are scum" thread.

I'm curious to know what people think about relationships that claim they're exclusive to each other.

After being on websites like these for a few years - I automatically assume that the majority are attatched - call it cynical if you like.

Are we as sexual beings meant to be monogamous?

I'm not sure asking a bunch of swingers will give me the answer I'm looking for

ERA* Typo

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Cheaters are going to cheat. If and when they do it's no reflection on the other person in that relationship and there is nothing they can do about it.

Only the cheater can do something about it and if they have that label it's too late.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think a swinging site is going to provide you with an unbias answer, swingers find it difficult to believe a couple can remain happy in a monogamous relationship and swingers the opposite.

Some people cheat, plenty don't at the end of the day the only relationship I either care about or know the ins and outs of is my own, anything else is simply speculation.

Ginger

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Ok now this isn't a " all cheaters are scum" thread.

I'm curious to know what people think about relationships that claim they're exclusive to each other.

After being on websites like these for a few years - I automatically assume that the majority are attatched - call it cynical if you like.

Are we as sexual beings meant to be monogamous?

I'm not sure asking a bunch of swingers will give me the answer I'm looking for

Not if that answer is monogamy - you obviously have an extremely biased sample here!!

I have no problem with monogamy, it is hard wired in me - I simply stop looking at anyone when I am in a committed relationship, no interest at all.

Faithfulness is also a choice in some cases, a decision people make, which they nonetheless commit totally to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be. I was faithful to my husband for 30 years, without ever thinking about or wanting another man. He wasn't faithful to me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally don't think people are programmed to be monogamous, but this applies more to men than to women, as they have that urge to procreate all over the place...

(disclaimer...this is not based on any scientific knowledge

I blame religion for pooping that vow in there. 'Forsake all others'. It was written by the church, not by evolution or human nature.

But I'm sure there are people out there that are continuously happy having one partner. Call it true love of finding 'the one'. But sex should be fun, why can't we all have fun with other people?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Personally I'm quite happy in a monogamous relationship as long as we are all on the same page

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it depends on the person tbh.

Some people thrive in committed relationships ,whilst others prefer multiple partners.

I honestly think if someone is going to cheat,they will regardless of their relationship status.Some will always be looking for the next best thing.

Miss"
I think your right in saying this . x

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I'd say we are faithful to each other.

We are on here as a couple and go together, doing something we both like. I don't see any unfaithfulness in that. We are true to each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok now this isn't a " all cheaters are scum" thread.

I'm curious to know what people think about relationships that claim they're exclusive to each other.

After being on websites like these for a few years - I automatically assume that the majority are attatched - call it cynical if you like.

Are we as sexual beings meant to be monogamous?

I'm not sure asking a bunch of swingers will give me the answer I'm looking for

"
if you has asked me this a few years ago. Id have said not a hope...but I think I could quite easily now ive found my partner.... only man ive ever not cheated on to. And can't even meet alone with permission

But maybe I am able to say that because i know he would never ask me to be monogamous... however we rarely swap now x and its been nearly a year since he had sex with someone else ( tragically)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive never been in a monogamous relationship

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Yes, always have been when in a relationship......and would be again .

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i'm a revenge cheat, if i get cheated on i will do it back.

otherwise i'm totally fine with monogamy. i love bareback sex so actually would prefer monogamy with no risk whatsoever to become infected with STIs off anyone else or from my partner fucking others.

do i think people are naturally monogamous. no. i think it suits some people and not others. just like how some prefer to have one best friend, or a small circle of friends, and some like to have loads of friends or acquaintances.

whatever you feel comfortable with socially, casually, deeply, whatever.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The question is how can you ever know that you're both on the same page?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"The question is how can you ever know that you're both on the same page?

Trust, honesty and hopefully if things change they will talk to you and let you know how they feel.

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