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First club experience advice welcomed!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all,

We're going to our first clhb next Saturday and very much looking forward to it but a little hesitant too! We're hoping to have a social and meet friends but don't know the etiquette when approaching people or do we just sit down with a drink and hope people will join us?

Any advice gratefully received??!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're going together which is great as you have each other to talk to.

Just go and be relaxed, it can be an exhilarating experience the first time and also for me was like nothing I've ever seen before.

The staff and people should be welcoming. Smile, make eye contact and if you like someone just say hi.

I hope you enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all,

We're going to our first clhb next Saturday and very much looking forward to it but a little hesitant too! We're hoping to have a social and meet friends but don't know the etiquette when approaching people or do we just sit down with a drink and hope people will join us?

Any advice gratefully received??!"

Can't wait for the advice as I'm planning mine....and I'm going alone!

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

First off, just relax and look forward to the experience, you'll love it.

Yes, it's fine to approach people and chat. In some ways, it's a handy conversation starter, explaining it's your first time there etc.

Some people might have meets already arranged, lots won't, but it's not all about the play, especially first time, you can soak up the experience.

Have fun, keep the alcohol to a minimum and dont put any pressure on yourself to do anything x

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

If it's a club social you're going to then you will be fine, as somebody else mentioned you will have each other to talk to, a good host will notice you as new faces and make you feel welcome, relax and enjoy yourselves, forget expectations and have fun.

Personally as a single male with anxiety that is relatively new to this, I was petrified when I went to my first social, but I was soon noticed as a new face by one of the hosts and she came and had a little chat with me and kept making sure I was ok as she was walking around, got talking to a few people and had a really good night, been to 2 more of their socials since and enjoyed those too. Going to a different social on my own tomorrow night. In all honesty for me it was less uncomfortable than going to a 'normal' pub/club for a night out on my own.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It can be intimidating the first time.

Smile, don't be afraid to open a conversation, even asking where the toilets are, and be polite.

The ex used to use the fact that I will talk to anyone and then when we were chatting he would invite them to stroke my arm to feel how soft my skin was (it's older now). Things would open up from there.

Don't go expecting to play with other people and you won't be disappointed.

Watch, get a feel of the place and don't dismiss it immediately. Clubs are only ever as good as the people there on that night so it may take a couple of visits before you really know whether you like it or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relax and Enjoy, wear something you're comfortable in. Nobody there will judge you, at all, no matter what. One thing to remember everyone is there for the same hobby as you. We only do club meets, we've gone before and met people there. We have ALWAYS had an awesome time.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Hi all,

We're going to our first clhb next Saturday and very much looking forward to it but a little hesitant too! We're hoping to have a social and meet friends but don't know the etiquette when approaching people or do we just sit down with a drink and hope people will join us?

Any advice gratefully received??!

Can't wait for the advice as I'm planning mine....and I'm going alone! "

It's a tougher gig going as a single male for the first time mate, but do read the 'Rules For Single Guys' on all the club listings in here before you choose which one to visit. You will feel like a square peg in a round hole (no pun intended), and most of the regulars will probably give you a wide berth. But if you don't mind having a couple of drinks in a bar by yourself where POTENTIALLY you could share some sexy fun with like-minded people, then go for it, we only live once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it's a club social you're going to then you will be fine, as somebody else mentioned you will have each other to talk to, a good host will notice you as new faces and make you feel welcome, relax and enjoy yourselves, forget expectations and have fun.

Personally as a single male with anxiety that is relatively new to this, I was petrified when I went to my first social, but I was soon noticed as a new face by one of the hosts and she came and had a little chat with me and kept making sure I was ok as she was walking around, got talking to a few people and had a really good night, been to 2 more of their socials since and enjoyed those too. Going to a different social on my own tomorrow night. In all honesty for me it was less uncomfortable than going to a 'normal' pub/club for a night out on my own."

Good to know. I'm still hesitant...just can't bring myself to. Fear I'll meet someone I know haha.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"If it's a club social you're going to then you will be fine, as somebody else mentioned you will have each other to talk to, a good host will notice you as new faces and make you feel welcome, relax and enjoy yourselves, forget expectations and have fun.

Personally as a single male with anxiety that is relatively new to this, I was petrified when I went to my first social, but I was soon noticed as a new face by one of the hosts and she came and had a little chat with me and kept making sure I was ok as she was walking around, got talking to a few people and had a really good night, been to 2 more of their socials since and enjoyed those too. Going to a different social on my own tomorrow night. In all honesty for me it was less uncomfortable than going to a 'normal' pub/club for a night out on my own.

Good to know. I'm still hesitant...just can't bring myself to. Fear I'll meet someone I know haha. "

If I could walk into a pub full of swingers, knowing I wouldn't know anybody and had no idea what to expect, by myself, mid anxiety, then anybody can! Sometimes you just have to step out your comfort zone, by the end of the evening you'll be wondering why you were so hesitant to go.

As for bumping into somebody you know, they may be just as worried about seeing somebody they know, at least there will be somebody you can chat to.

From my personal experience I would recommend it to anybody who was worried about going to a group social in a pub/club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i sat down at the bar. Tried to chat up the barstaff, sat in the cold half naked and chatted to anyone who'd listen to me. Inside I was shaking like a leaf. But I got talking to a few people naturally, it wasn't what I expected, but nothing ever is.

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